Blood Sugar Sex Magik
by Isabella Monroe
Summary: DA2 SPOILERS - This story will begin half way through Act III.  It is the sequel to Mirror Images so Tristen, Sabrina and Alistair will be in the story, but it will mostly focus on Anders and FHawke.
1. Chapter 1 Blood Sugar Sex Magik

This is the sequel to Mirror Images. After I wrote chapter 17 of that story and then played DA2 the idea for this story really took hold of me. The first few chapters will focus on Alistair, Tristen and Sabrina, however the majority of the story will be focused on Anders and the Champion. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know your thoughts!

**Chapter 1**

"Glorious euphoria, is my must, erotic shock, is a function of lust  
Temporarily blind, dimensions to discover, in time each into the other  
Uncontrollable notes, from her snow white throat  
Fill a space, in which two bodies float  
Operatic by voice, A fanatic by choice,

Aromatic is the flower, she must be moist  
Blood sugar baby, she's magik, sex magik, sex magik"  
_Blood Sugar Sex Magik by Red Hot Chili Peppers_

Sabrina looked out the window at the recruits as they trained in the arena below. She would rather be down there working with them but instead she was doing extra paper work that Varel had insisted on before her departure for Kirkwall with Alistair tomorrow.

It had been almost been six years since Anders had left for the Free Marches and during that time he had sporadically sent her letters giving her updates. At first, it sounded as if the change was good for him, he had opened a free clinic to heal the sick, had met and fallen in love with Marcella Hawke, the woman who'd become the Champion of Kirkwall and he'd helped her defeat the Qunari and stop their invasion. His one constant grievance had been the oppressive stronghold that the Templars held over the mages. However, in the past two and half years his letters had taken on a much darker and sinister tone and Sabrina was truly worried about her friend.

About a month ago, she had mentioned to Tristen about heading to Kirkwall to check in on Anders and while she was there she would also investigate Nate's disappearance. Almost two years had passed since he had left for an expedition into the Deep Roads. She had received two reports from him in that time, the last being nine months ago. She knew that being in the Deep Roads didn't give him a lot of access to writing materials, but his sister, Delilah, had also come to her voicing her concerns that she had not heard from her brother.

Tristen had tried to reassure her that nine months wasn't that long, but she had a very uneasy feeling that logic and reason couldn't shake. When Tristen received word that Alistair was making a trip to Kirkwall for a diplomatic visit, he'd sent his brother a request for Sabrina join his entourage on the journey. In typical Alistair fashion, he had quickly replied back that he would be delighted and the more the merrier. Since Tristen hadn't consulted her, much to her dismay, Sabrina had to graciously accept the offer.

Things with Alistair had become a little easier since her marriage to Tristen. It was as if somehow that simple act had helped him come to terms with the fact that their relationship was permanently over. Over the past six years she had only seen Alistair a dozen times, they were always cordial and friendly with each other, but it seemed as if they were trying to force the friendship. For her, it was hard to be around Alistair, she tried to bury the anger and pain that she'd felt over his betrayal, but there were times when she was near him that it boiled just below the surface. She knew this wasn't healthy and that burying her feelings was not best way to handle the situation; but Alistair was now her brother-in-law and she just didn't think that dredging up past hurts would do anyone any good.

However, there were plenty of times that she missed Alistair and their friendship and she longed to have the bond they once shared in the past. She missed his easy going personality, his silly quirky jokes, the way he teased her and his insightful nature. Sadly, she doubted they would ever be that close again. Too much had happened between them, too much pain had been inflicted on each other and even though they both seemed to have moved on to happier lives there was an awareness of the many unspoken words that lay between them. They had never really had the time to resolve their previous issues and once she had married Tristen all of those unresolved problems were just... buried. Needless to say, spending five days trapped aboard a ship with him was not her idea of a good time.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realized she was no longer alone until she felt two strong arms encircle around her waist and pull her back against the chiseled chest of her husband. He licked at her ear and then whispered, "I have arranged for dinner and several bottles of wine to be brought to our rooms, where I plan on getting you very drunk and doing delightfully sinful things to you, my Love."

She turned to face him and slipped her arms around his neck. "Being with you love, is the sweetest sin I know and I'm very good at being a sinner." She feathered kisses from his mouth to his ear and whispered, "You don't have to get me drunk, I can be extremely naughty even when I'm sober."

"Oh, I know you can, but when you've had a few drinks you are much more flexible and can do that bendy, twisty thing that you know drives me insane," he growled.

She smiled mischievously at him. "I do love the way you think, my Lord," she cooed.

His hand slid down, grasped her bottom and gave her that sexy wicked smile of his that drove her wild. "My Lady, tonight I do not plan on treating you anything like a lady. Tonight I am going to make you quiver, shake and scream out my name so loudly that whole Keep will know how very badly we are misbehaving."

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that," she purred just before his lips claimed hers and he hungrily devoured her as if he was a man who had been starved for days and she returned the kiss just as fervently. The ache of her impending departure was temporarily drowned out by the passion and yearning that she felt for this wonderful man. Everything inside of her wanted and needed him; she was so desperately in love with him, she just wanted to get lost in him, to make love to him until she was too weak to move and that is exactly what she did.

The following morning she quietly rode behind Tristen and Alistair as the two of them chatted away. How in sweet Andraste's arse could the man be so lively? They had been up until just before sunrise and both of them had only had three hours of sleep. Sabrina was having trouble remaining upright in her saddle, but Tristen was as energetic as a mabari pup. Damn that man and his ability to have boundless vigor after a night of passionate sex.

Behind her were the Wardens that she had selected to bring with her on this trip. She had brought with her Tess and two recent recruits Ser Bryant and Kaylessa Surana who she had recruited out from under the Knight-Commander at the Circle of Magi.

Tess had been with her for six years now, she had fought beside her countless times and Sabrina trusted her with her life. She enjoyed the young warrior's humor and spirit and the two of them had become instant friends. She was glad she had chosen Tess to come on this trip with them and it put Tristen's mind at ease to know that someone who had already fought beside her would be there.

Gabriel Bryant and Kaylessa Surana had only been Wardens for a year now and Sabrina had only fought beside them when she had taken them down into the Deep Roads for them to collect the darkspawn blood needed for their joining. They had fought admirably and while she wasn't quite comfortable with them yet, she knew that would come in time as they became more experienced as a collective fighting group.

Sabrina had first met Gabriel in Lothering. His devotion and compassion for the refugees had caught her attention, but on a recent trip to Circle his prowess and proficiency in the sparring ring had won her over. When she'd approached him about joining the Wardens he was flattered, but very reluctant. She could tell that he wanted to join but something was holding him back. Over the next several days she observed him closely and through trained eyes she noticed that Gabriel had definitely developed feelings for the beautiful and highly talented elven mage, Kaylessa, and she returned his affection. That was not good; if the Knight-Commander got wind of this the consequences could be devastating. Sabrina approached Gabriel again about joining the Wardens, however this time she also mentioned that she wanted to recruit Kaylessa and as expected Gabriel was much more receptive. He told her that he needed to think about it and he would get back to her. The following day both Gabriel and Kaylessa approached her and said they would like to join the Wardens. As she had anticipated, Knight-Commander Greagoir emphatically denied the request and to this day Sabrina still relished the feeling she'd had of conscripting them right out from underneath him.

Tess trotted up beside her and gave her a knowing grin. "You're very quiet, Commander."

"I just have a lot on my mind," Sabrina replied.

"Oh really, and here I thought it was because Tristen kept you up polishing the one eyed ogre until the break of dawn," Tess said with a sly smirk.

Sabrina heard Tristen begin to choke and saw Alistair's face turn red. "W-what?" She spluttered.

"Well all the moaning, screaming and shouting coming from your room I was just grateful the man's stamina ran out so that I could get a little shut eye before we had to head out," Tess beamed.

Sabrina shot her dirty look and hissed, "You shut your pie hole, woman." Tess just laughed mischievously.

Tristen turned around and winked at her. "I did make you a promise last night."

Sabrina's mouth moved, but no words came out; her mind was a complete blank. Finally she turned to Tess and said, "That's it, when we return we are moving your room to the other end of the Keep."

Alistair turned and grinned at her too. "I don't think that will help. My rooms are already over there and I heard, 'Andraste's Sweet Arse', 'Maker's holy cock', and 'By Andraste's glorious bliss box' several times. You really might want to close your windows if you're going to be that loud so that us poor sods that aren't having loud passionate sex can get some sleep."

"Well, if it helps at all, Commander, I didn't hear a thing. I was too busy polishing my own one eyed ogre," Gabriel said. Sabrina laughed. She knew he was trying to deflect some of the attention from her, but he had just left himself wide open.

"_Really_? Was this a _solo_ polishing or a shared one?" Tristen asked as he smirked at the templar and the mage.

The group carried on with the same jesting banter the rest of the trip to the Amaranthine Port. Once all of the luggage had been loaded, Tristen grabbed Sabrina by the arm and pulled her behind some crates to give them a little bit of privacy.

Tristen ran his fingers through her hair to the nape of her neck and drew her to him. "I didn't want this day to come. It feels like a piece of me is leaving with you. I know it's not forever, but it feels that way when I don't really know when I'm going to see you again. I love you, Brin," he whispered.

"I love you too," she whispered back. Their eyes locked on each other as they tried to convey to each other the depth of their sadness that this separation was causing them. Gradually the distance between them closed until their mouths met. Sabrina's eyes stung with tears as they spilled out and cascaded down her cheeks. The salty taste infused with their lips as the sorrow of their inevitable separation drew closer. Sabrina deepened the kiss as she tried to drink in and savor the very essence of him to recall at will in the future.

As the bell rang on the ship indicating it was time to depart, Tristen pulled away and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I love you so much, Mon Soleil and I will see you again very soon."

Sabrina step out of the embrace, she ran hand her lovingly across his cheek. "I love you too and not too far in the future we will be together again. The pain we feel now is miniscule to the joy we will feel when we are reunited."

"You promise?"

"I promise," she cooed.

He grasped her hand and brought it to his lips; he kissed it then turned it over and provocatively kissed her palm. She smiled warmly at him, then she turned and walked up the gang plank. She turned and waved before she disappeared on deck.

That night at dinner she was quiet and subdued. Tess, Gabriel and Kaylessa were getting along wonderfully with Alistair and he of course was being a genial host. She didn't want her mood to bring down the pleasant atmosphere, so shortly after dessert was served she excused herself and went to her state room. She had changed into her nightshirt and had settled into bed to read when a knock came at the door. She threw on a robe before she opened the door.

Alistair smiled sheepishly at her. "I just wanted to come by to check on your accommodations and make sure you don't need anything."

"Thanks Alistair, the state room is lovely and I'm fine," Sabrina replied.

"Well, please don't hesitate to ask if you do need something," he said.

"Thanks again, I will."

He hesitated for a moment as if he was debating with himself then he simply said, "Good night, Bree."

"Good night, Alistair."

Sabrina awoke the following morning with a start. She heard the unmistakable sounds of fighting outside her porthole. They couldn't be under attack. Surely she wouldn't have sleep through the warning bell. She quickly slipped into a pair of trousers, loose blouse and a pair of boots. She grabbed her sword and dagger and headed up the stairs toward the deck.

The sounds of weapons clashing rang out from the main deck and when she rounded the corner, came to a complete halt. Alistair stood in the midst of his guard, training them and testing their skills. She had to smile as she watched him sparring with his men. He hadn't lost a step. He was still the powerful warrior she had met eight years ago.

He saw her watching and signaled for the guard to halt. Alistair gazed at her swords still drawn in her hands.

He pointed at her weapons. "What is that?"

She looked at the sword then at Alistair. "My sword," she said dryly.

"And why are they drawn?" Alistair asked patiently.

"I heard fighting and I thought we were under attack," Sabrina said defensively.

Alistair laughed and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

"What is so funny?"

"You, Bree. Don't you think I would have sent someone to wake one of the best blades on the ship if we were under attack."

Sabrina cocked an eye brow. "One of the best blades on the ship; don't you mean _the_ best?"

"Well, don't you think that's a little cocky to assume you are _the_ best? You haven't fought against all the men on this ship," Alistair retorted.

Now he was just adding fuel to the fire. She felt her lips spread into roguish grin. "Have you sparred against all of your men?"

"Yep," he replied.

"And have any of them bested you?"

"Nope," he said proudly.

"Well, that tells me one of two things, either your men aren't good enough to be your guards or they are better than you and are afraid to knock the King on his royal arse. Either way, that makes me the best sword on the ship because if they can't beat you then we know they don't have a prayer of beating me. If they are better than you, but don't have the balls to land their liege on his backside then they aren't truly testing your skills or their own. If they faced me they would hesitate at the wrong moment and I will take them out. So now the question is Alistair, do you think you can take me?" Sabrina asked and before he had a chance to respond she stepped forward and aggressively thrust her sword toward him.

Alistair easily blocked the blow. "Careful Bree, your blade isn't blunted."

Sabrina gave him a mocking pout, "Our blades were never blunted when we sparred during the Blight or has his Majesty gone soft while sitting on his arse in Denerim?"

Alistair's face reddened and she knew she had hit her mark. "We aren't wearing any armor, Sabrina." He never used her full name unless he was angry at her.

She smiled at him wickedly, "I won't draw any blood, your Majesty. I promise." She thrust again and he easily parried it.

"Bree!" He exclaimed and his guardsman began to gather around him.

She continued to grin, lowered her weapon and the guardsmen relaxed. "Yep, gone soft, guess we have the answer to my question."

"I train every day," Alistair said defensively.

"If you say so, I'll have to take your word on that, Sire, but since you won't face me let's just go on the assumption that I can still kick you're arse," Sabrina replied coolly.

She saw the anger flash in his eyes, "You're not as good as you think you are," Alistair grunted as he plunged his sword forward, she effortlessly blocked his attack and took a step back.

Her eyes sparked impishly as she went on the offensive. He barely met her blow for blow and she drove him ruthlessly back against rail. Their swords connected in an arch above them and Sabrina hissed through clinched teeth, "No, Alistair, I'm better."

Alistair used his superior height and weight and pushed against the swords causing her to stumble back a little. "We'll see about that," he jeered as he countered and began to move her back in the direction they came.

Thrust, parry, counter, block on and on the sparring went as they resumed the dance that they both knew so well. As he began to tire she agilely slid by his defenses and her dagger cut into his fine tailored shirt.

Alistair glanced down at the long tear and then he glanced up at her.

She withdrew and coyly smiled, "What? I kept my word. I drew no blood."

"You were lucky," Alistair growled.

This time it was her turn to laugh at him and she watched his face redden even further. "Has all that cheese gone to your head? Have you forgotten the things that you witnessed me do on the battlefield? No, Alistair, I was careful; I chose not to draw your blood."

And just to prove her point she thrust forward so swiftly and nimbly that before he could defend himself her dagger had removed the top three buttons of his shirt. His shirt gaped open revealing the two sculpted muscles of his chest.

The crowd that had gathered laughed and Alistair stared in disbelief. "You haven't fought by my side in years, Alistair. You no longer have any idea what I am capable of," she snarled.

"You think defeating an Archdemon has made you better? I don't think so," Alistair roared as he suddenly thrust and Sabrina narrowly blocked the blow. He thrust again and again as he drove her back across the ship.

As he paused to bring up his sword, she rolled by him and came up behind him. She used the broad side of her swords and with all of her might slammed it into it his back. The force of the impact caused him to stagger forward, but he remained on his feet. She deftly slid up behind him and cooed in his ear, "That could have been me driving my sword between your shoulders, _your Majesty."_

She skillfully danced out of his reach and then hissed, "Don't you ever dare bring up the Archdemon to me again, Alistair. I have moved passed that betrayal, but forgiveness can only run so deep."

Alistair's face flashed with understanding and he made a gesture to signal for everyone to clear the deck. When there wasn't a soul left he said softly, "I don't believe you have Bree, and that is what this truly is about."

They began to circle each other, both crouched defensively. "No it's not, it's about you not giving credit where credit is due. You know damn well there isn't a man on board this ship that can take me and that includes you…"

"You're wrong Bree. You haven't moved passed the betrayal, you've just bottled it up inside. You've never really forgiven me," Alistair interjected.

Sabrina growled and attacked. She thrust hard and he met her every attack; they rapidly moved in a circle of hard brutal blows. She was quicker than him and was always several steps ahead of him, but his stamina was greater as she continued to push her physical limits, but she refused to let him win. She drew strength from her anger at him for leaving her and from the pain of his disloyalty to her. She matched him blow for blow until her arms ached. She knew the only way out of this was to use a trick Zev had taught her.

She gasped, than halted as she feigned exhaustion as if she was ready to admit defeat.

Alistair truly had forgotten what it was like to fight beside her because he believed her and she watched him relax as a huge grin appeared on his handsome face. He lowered his shield and sword and she took advantage of his defenses being down; moving at lightning speed she thrust and sliced the rest of his buttons off his shirt.

He was stunned as he gazed down at his shirt now in tatters. Then he slowly looked up her, his honey brown eyes burned brilliantly hot, but a slow mischievous smile spread across his face. Possessing speed which she didn't believe him capable of he attacked, he had the edge of her shirt hooked over his blade and with one quick flick of the wrist the fabric had been ripped in two.

His face hardened and his eyes grew cold as he slowly slid the tip of his blade between her breasts. "I believe we are even. In actual battle we would have both killed each other."

He tossed his sword and shield aside and flung his arms open, exposing his bare chest to her. "Will killing me help you get over my betrayal? If so then please do it, please drive the dagger through my heart now and end this Bree, because I can't go on with this pain, anger and hatred that is between us. I have forgiven you, Bree. Please find it in yourself to forgive me, not for me, but for you…so that you can find peace again."

Sabrina looked horrified as she stared at his exposed chest as he laid everything at her feet. She felt her weapons slip out of her hands as she dropped to her knees and cried. He was immediately in front of her, pulling her into his arms which caused her to cry even harder.

"Y-you left me Alistair. You left me to face the Archdemon by myself. I-I wanted to hurt you so b-badly. I w-wanted you to feel at least some of the p-pain that I felt when you turned your back on me, when you deserted me after you told me you would love me forever, when you walked away right after you asked me to be your w-wife…" her voice trailed off as her body shook uncontrollable with sobs.

Alistair just held her as she cried until there were no more tears. He took his shirt off, ripped a piece of the material off and wiped her face with it. He gathered her in his arms and led her back to her room. "I would like to have dinner with you in my private cabin tonight if you are up to it. I believe that we have some things that we need to finish discussing."

She didn't say anything. She just nodded. "Good, then I will see you at seven," Alistair said gently and left her there with a lot to think about before their dinner.

A/N - Hugs and kisses to the betalicious dynamic duo, RandomWittering and Jinx1983. Thank you so much for your help and support with this chapter. You two are the best.


	2. Chapter 2 Now and Forever

**In chapter 1 forgot to mention that in upcoming chapters there will be minor Dragon Age 2 spoilers. I am not one to rewrite the game so for the most part DA2 will just be part of the background, however there will be a few exceptions. I also meant to stipulate in chapter 1 that this story, like Mirror Images, is an A/U. **

**Chapter 2**

"Now and forever, you are a part of me, and the memory cuts like a knife  
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight  
When you walked into my life, now and forever, I'll remember  
All the promises still unbroken, and think about all the words between us  
That never needed to be spoken, we had a moment, just one moment  
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime, we are the lucky ones  
Some people never get to do all we got to do, now and forever, I will always think of you"

_Now and Forever by Carole King_

Alistair looked out his porthole as the sun began to set over the horizon, he reflected on the incident that had occurred with Sabrina earlier today. He was truly shocked at how their competitive game and playful banter had gotten so out of control. He knew that teasing her would get her riled up, but he had only wanted to put on a good show for the men. He had heard the guards talk enthusiastically about traveling with the Hero of Ferelden. He knew the men would enjoy watching their Hero in action and up until he mentioned the Archdemon she had given them a real treat. She had been correct in her assumption that he no longer knew what she was capable of. He had thought she was the best fighter he had ever seen before she ended the Blight, but she had definitely honed her skills and learned a few new tricks. The speed in which she moved to cut the buttons off his shirt was almost too quick for the eye to see and the men had loved her for it.

Looking back over the past six years he really shouldn't be surprised that she still hated him for his betrayal. He saw Tristen almost every other month either in Denerim when he came to visit their mother or when Alistair went to visit him at Vigil's Keep. During the past six years he only saw Sabrina once or twice a year. She was always conveniently away on Warden Business. He knew that she was avoiding him, but to honest that was okay with him. As much as he longed to see her, to be near her, it was easier if he kept his distance from her. When they were in the same room together she was always friendly and sociable, but he knew her too well. He knew that she was holding back, she was burying her true feelings; more than likely to try to keep the peace between all three of them.

Alistair had found it curious that Tristen had made the request for Sabrina to accompany him on this trip. He had a sneaking suspicion that Sabrina hadn't known a thing about it until Alistair had agreed and then she couldn't do a thing about it. Obviously, Tristen had seen that Sabrina was not addressing the issues that lay between Alistair and her. Tristen knew both of them so well that he had been able to masterfully maneuver the two of them into a situation that would force them to confront each other. Alistair had to chuckle at his brother's brilliance; he had played them perfectly. His brother had gotten them here; now it was up to Alistair to make it right.

There was a hesitant knock at the door. Alistair opened the door. He smiled sheepishly at Sabrina and she warily smiled back. Alistair stepped aside and waved her in. He offered her a brandy and she quickly accepted it. He couldn't ever remember seeing her this on edge.

He watched as she took a large gulp of brandy, then she looked directly into his eyes, "Alistair, I want to apologize for my outburst earlier. It was completely uncalled and extremely rude of me…"

Alistair stepped forward and placed his fingers on her lips to silence her. "Stop. That was the first real and truthful exchange that we have had since before the Landsmeet. I am not about to let you digress the conversation any further. Don't you see that you have to get past this or it's going to eat you up to the point that the Sabrina we know and love will be gone? You have to believe me, Bree I know what I'm talking about."

She said nothing she just stared into her now empty brandy glass. He looked at her for a long moment before he softly spoke, "Earlier today you said you wanted to hurt me and cause me pain. I understand the need to do that, Bree…I-I did that to you and it nearly destroyed me, you have every right to hate me for what I did to you."

"I don't hate you, Alistair. Honestly, I wish I could. It would probably be easier if I did, but I don't," she whispered.

Alistair smiled slightly, "Well, I'm glad to hear that, but you definitely have a lot of pent up anger towards me. Why?"

"Why?" She asked incredulously. "How could you even ask me that?"

"Because I need you to tell me why you're so angry at me," Alistair replied.

She looked at him and tears were brimming in her eyes. She started pinching the bridge of her nose to stop them from falling, but Alistair grabbed her wrist. "Damn it, Bree, stop being so in control and stop trying to rein in your emotions. If you need to cry then cry, if you need to scream at me then scream, if you need to hit me then hit me, but stop shutting off your emotions, stop closing down!" Alistair exclaimed.

She yanked her wrist out of his grasp as she glared at him and he smirked at her, he watched her eyes flicker with fury. If he had to force her wrath in order to get her to open up he would, but he would not let her shut down on him. "Stop being such a coward and face your own damn feelings, Bree," he spat at her.

"How dare you? You don't know anything about me anymore, Alistair!" She hissed.

"Sweetheart please, you aren't that complicated to figure out. You're still the same stubborn woman that I traveled with, that always had to be in control, who always had to do everything her way, which by the way was normally the hard way, and who was always giving advice, but never able to take any," Alistair said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

He watched as her eyes narrowed, her nostrils flared and her face darkened. This was the exact look she always got just before she attacked. "Come on, Sabrina, stop holding back. Tell me how you feel. I left the day after I proposed to you, I let you go fight an Archdemon by yourself with a man you despised, I forced you to remain in Denerim to watch my coronation and wedding, and then I fucked you like a whore. How did that make…"

Alistair never finished the question. Sabrina's fist connected with the side of his face at the same time she drove her knee into his groin. Alistair slumped to his knees as his vision narrowed as the pain shot through his body. As he pushed down the wave of nausea he moaned, "I believe we are making progress."

She glared down at him. "How did it make me feel? You abandoned me, Alistair and I felt used and disregarded. You promised to love and protect me and I felt unloved and unworthy. You promised to make me your wife and I felt the dagger slide into my heart when you made Anora your wife. You fucked me like whore and I felt I deserved it because I had h-hurt you." Her voice cracked as the tears slid down her cheeks. "B-but the worst was that you had promised to never leave me, to always fight by my side and I felt for the first time since my family died that I was utterly and completely a-alone and I was t-terrified."

She let the words sink and Alistair couldn't have felt worse if she had kneed him in the balls again. He struggled to his feet still quelling the need to throw up. He grasped her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes as he gasped, "Bree, there is nothing I can say or do that could possibly make up for what I have done to you, but I do want you to know how terribly sorry I am for the pain and heartache that I have caused you. I swear I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I know my word means nothing to you anymore, but may the Maker strike me dead if I ever break another promise to you."

She looked at him with tears still in her eyes and whispered, "What do you want from me, Alistair?"

Still trying to remain stable on his feet he tucked a loose hair behind her ear. "I want you to somehow, someday find it in yourself to forgive me. Not because I deserve it or for my peace of mind, but for yours Bree. Fiona once told me to forgive is to set a prisoner free and you will discover that the prisoner was you. After I almost lost you at the mines I realized I wasn't hurting you with my anger and unforgiveness I was hurting myself and if I wanted to have any kind of joy and contentment in my life I had to release the pain. I know you have found happiness with Tristen, but I want you to be completely happy in all aspects of your life. Don't you want to be happy again, Bree?"

She nodded as she wiped at her tears. "Then will you try to forgive me and give us a chance to be friends once again?" Alistair asked.

She sniffled, rubbed her nose and nodded almost like a little girl; she looked so vulnerable, yet so breathtakingly beautiful that Alistair felt such a strong surge of love for her flowing through his body. It took every ounce of his templar discipline to restrain himself from pulling her into his arms and comforting her.

"Will you stay for dinner?" Alistair asked. She nodded again.

"Will you do more than just nod?" Alistair asked and she giggled.

"Yes, Alistair I will converse with you," she replied as she gave him a reserved smile and took her seat at the table.

They spent the rest of the night slowly getting reacquainted with each other. It wasn't as strained as it had been in the past; at times he saw signs of the old mischievous Sabrina shine through and it gave him hope that all was not lost between them.

The following morning Alistair was up on deck training and sparring with his men, when Sabrina emerged from below the deck. She was wearing her training armor and carried her weapons with her.

He grinned at her, "Did you schedule a rematch that I didn't know about?"

She grinned back at him. "No, not unless you want one, your Majesty. That shirt looks very well made, I'd be happy to shred it for you if you like," she replied as she winked at him.

Alistair laughed, "Aaah, that's okay. I don't want to run out clothes before we get to Kirkwall."

Behind her the rest of her Wardens materialized all dressed in practice armor. "Alistair, you really should know better than to train without armor on. If you're not careful you could lose a button."

Everyone who had witnessed yesterday's sparring session between them broke out into laughter. "Funny! Really funny!" He said sarcastically.

"If you don't mind, I thought my Wardens and I would get some training in before the sun became too hot. If that's alright with you," she said.

"Please, the deck is yours," Alistair said. Alistair had mentioned to her last night that the guards were excited that the Hero of Ferelden was on board and that they had thoroughly enjoyed watching their sparring match. He knew this little demonstration was for their benefit.

Sabrina paired them off, Gabriel and Tess against Kaylessa and herself. "The rules are a chest or head blow is a killing shot and you're out. Otherwise we fight until someone surrenders. Understood?" They all nodded. "Now, Tess, don't go easy on Kaylessa because she is Gabe's girlfriend. You do her no favors by going easy on her," Sabrina said.

"And what about you Commander?" Gabriel asked.

Sabrina raised an eye brow, "What about me?"

"Should I go easy on you, Commander?"

Sabrina laughed. "Of course not, but you have to catch me first," Sabrina said as impish grin spread across her face. It was a grin that Alistair new well. She was about to have some fun. She leaned over and whispered in Kaylessa's ear. The tiny elf gave a curt nod of understanding, and then Sabrina beckoned the warriors to advance on them.

One of Alistair's guards leaned over and asked, "Your Majesty, her pairing makes no sense, why pair two warriors against a rogue and a mage? Wouldn't it make more sense to split the warriors up?"

"Well, in battle you never know what you're going to face. She could easily face this very scenario in combat. If you don't train for it you won't know to how handle it when confronted with it in a real situation," Alistair said. What he thought was that the two warriors would never get close enough to lay a hand on the mage.

Alistair watched in fascination as the two warriors advanced towards Sabrina and the mage. Before they had even taken five steps Sabrina charged into the warriors knocking Tess to the ground and causing Gabriel to stagger backwards. Still trying to find his footing, Sabrina came up behind Gabriel, she pulled her leg up and back to her chest, then shot her leg forward, her foot landed squarely in the center of templar's back, the knight stumbled forward, but remained on his feet. Gabriel spun to face her, arching his shield to strike as he spun towards her, but in a blur of motion Sabrina leapt backwards and as she landed on her feet several feet away Alistair heard the guard beside him gasp as she completely vanished from view.

"She has yet to draw her weapons," the guard stated in disbelief.

Alistair just shook his head, "Yeah, now she's just showing off."

Meanwhile, Tess was getting back on her feet when Kaylessa threw a stone-fist at her, knocking the warrior back again. Tess let out a slew of curses that would make a pirate blush. Tess regained her footing and charged at the mage. Alistair could tell that the mage didn't want to truly injure her fellow Warden because she threw low level element spells at her just to slow her down long enough for Sabrina to appear beside her and blindside her with a roundhouse kick to the chest, knocking Tess back.

Sabrina gave her friend a roguish grin and said, "You're dead."

Tess just glared at her and stuck her tongue out at her. Due to her brief interaction with Tess, Sabrina had briefly lost focus; she didn't hear Gabriel come up behind, until it was too late. She moved just in time miss the full impact of the pommel blow to her back. Sabrina staggered forward slightly, but before Gabriel could strike again Sabrina quickly leapt back evading the blow.

Alistair felt the veil shift as he saw Kaylessa cast a spell toward Sabrina, it enveloped her just as Gabriel charged at her, but his attack was repelled long enough for Sabrina to regain her focus and her energy. In the blink of an eye Sabrina vanished in a smoke screen and reappeared behind Gabriel with her sword now unsheathed, she slammed into the warriors back. Gabriel fell to his knees as she gracefully danced up to him, gently tapped his head and playfully purred, "You're dead."

The guards let out a loud cheer and Sabrina took a bow, but then she surprised Alistair as she asked everyone to gather around and evaluate the fight. She discussed tactics, strategy and counter-moves with them and the guards ate it up. Mesmerized, Alistair watched her teach, instruct and joke with his men and he realized that this is how she was everyday with her Wardens. This is what it would have been like if he had remained by her side, this is what it was like every day for Tristen and he had never been more envious of someone in his entire life.

That evening Sabrina and the Wardens joined him in his private rooms, Gabriel was the first to complain about the match earlier in the day.

"Don't you think it was a little unfair to employ some of your most lethal weapons today in what you had deemed an exhibition, Commander," Gabriel questioned.

Sabrina smiled at her Warden, "Lethal? I didn't even draw my weapons until the very end. I don't consider that lethal."

"Please, Bree, except for Zev you're the most skilled rogue I know…"

Alistair started to choke and nearly spit out his wine. Tess' eyes widened. She looked at Alistair, "What? You disagree, your Majesty."

"Aaah, yeah. He wasn't skilled enough to kill her and is only alive today by the mercy of your Commander," Alistair answered.

"What?" Both Tess and Gabriel asked in unison.

Alistair raised an eye brow and looked at Sabrina. "You've never told them the reason that Zev is in your debt."

Sabrina eyes narrowed and he knew he was walking on dangerous ground here. "Alistair you know damn well that Zev is not in my debt, that I released him from his oath after we killed Taliesen. Zev remains by my side because that is where he wishes to be," Sabrina replied coolly.

"I'm sorry that isn't what I meant. Have you never told them that Zev was sent by the Crows to assassinate you and that even though he failed, you let him live."

Tess' eyes widened as she looked back and forth between Sabrina and Alistair. "No she never told us. So why don't you?"

Alistair looked at Sabrina; she gave a curt nod so he launched into the tale of how Zev had come into their lives. The Wardens were captivated by the story and hung on his every word, then demanded more Blight tales. Alistair knew she hated talking about the Blight because it embarrassed her, so the longer the discussion focused on her the more she became uncomfortable. Alistair noticed her face was flushed and that there was even sweat on her forehead. Finally she claimed she wasn't feeling well and excused herself for the evening. He hadn't meant to run her off and felt bad that he had made her uncomfortable, but the things that she had accomplished in such a short period of time were remarkable and should be commended.  
Alistair rose the next morning and immediately went to Sabrina's room to apologize. He lightly knocked on her door, but there was no reply so he knocked a little harder…still no reply. He knocked again and this time he heard a low groan. He gently pushed the door open, "Bree, I just wanted to…"

The words stopped dead in his throat when he saw Sabrina laying in bed as she shook uncontrollably, he ran over to her and he could see she was covered in sweat. He pressed his hand to her forehead, she was burning up. Alistair ran to the hall and told his guard to get Kaylessa immediately and to tell her that the Commander was ill.

A few minutes later Kaylessa and Gabriel came bursting into the room. Kaylessa immediately began to examine her. After examining her, the mage stood up, "The Commander is gravely ill. She is running a high fever, her lungs are full of fluid and she has shortness of breath. Considering that she just came back from a mission in the Korcari Wilds, right before she left for Kirkwall, I believe she has come down with Wild Fever."

"Wild Fever," Alistair said as the fear settled in; he knew Wild Fever was a life threatening illness that if the patient survived it could leave them physically or mentally impaired. _Oh Maker, please no, not her…anyone but her. She still has so much to accomplish. _

"I'm sorry, your Majesty. I will do everything in my power to heal her and make her comfortable. It will take twenty-four hours for the bacteria to run its course. I will know more then. Please be aware that due to the high fever and the nature of this sickness that she may not realize where she is. It's not like hallucinations, but it's like she is displaced in time. Things that happened ten years ago may appear in her mind to just have happened. She won't know when or where she is."

Alistair nodded as he pulled a chair up beside her, grasped her hand and began to pray. How the hell would he tell his brother that he couldn't save his wife? The thought sent a severe pain through his chest. Tristen was the strongest man he knew, but his one weakness was Sabrina. Losing her would destroy him. He looked at Kaylessa, "You have to save her. You have to do whatever it takes not to let her die. My brother can't live without her. Please?"

"And you Alistair, can you live without her?" Gabriel asked.

He looked at him for a long moment. "I've already learned how too. I don't know if my brother is capable of learning that lesson," Alistair replied sadly.

Kaylessa looked sympathetically at him. "I love her too and I will do everything I can to save her."

"Thank you," Alistair muttered as he buried his head beside her.

He had dozed off to sleep when he heard her thrashing around. He sat up and looked around. Kaylessa wasn't there, but Tess was in the chair beside him. She looked compassionately at him and smiled, "Kayle went to get more lyrium potions. She will be back shortly."

Alistair nodded, took Sabrina's hand, brought it to his lips and kissed her as he prayed. He felt Tess' eyes on him, studying for a long time before she spoke with deep compassion, "It's tragic, two brother…two twin brothers in love with the same woman. One happily married to her and the other resigned to love her in secret."

"Yes, it's a tragedy. One that I am sure the bards will thoroughly enjoy retelling years from now," Alistair replied bitterly.

Tess was about to reply when Sabrina shook violently and then focused her gaze on him. She smiled so sweetly and tenderly at him that his heart nearly melted in his chest. "Alistair, I wondered where you went."

"I've been here the entire time, Bree. I haven't left."

"No you left. I woke up and you were gone and the bed was so cold without you pressed up against me. Were you raiding the larder for cheese? Eamon is going to be upset with you."

Alistair felt his heart racing and his breath quicken. She was remembering the first time they had ever slept together. It was after they had returned to Redcliffe Castle with the scared ashes. They had spent half the night thoroughly exploring each others' bodies, she had drifted off to sleep and he had gone to the kitchen to find them food.

"No, it will be okay. H-he won't mind," Alistair replied, his voice a little shaky.

She smiled coyly at him. "Did you bring me back something to eat?"

Oh Maker, please don't let this conversation continue down this path. "I brought you some cheese," he replied tentatively.

"I don't want cheese to eat," she cooed. He glanced over at Tess who had an entertaining smirk on her face.

"Bree, I'm really tired. How about we go to sleep," Alistair tried to reason.

She faltered as if his reply didn't coincide with the memory and it didn't because at this point he was already ravishing her again. She looked confused, but then she fell back against the pillows unconscious once again. Alistair ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh of relief.

Tess continued to study him. "Would you mind not doing that? It's nerve wrecking." Alistair asked.

"Do what?"

"Study me as if I'm a science project," Alistair retorted.

Tess laughed. "I'll try, but I find this whole thing so intriguing. Have you heard this theory that states for every act done, no matter how insignificant, it will eventually return to the doer with equal impact? Good will be returned with good; evil with evil."

"Yes, basically you reap what you sow," Alistair retorted.

Tess nodded. "So I'm wondering what you have done to reap such a cruel punishment."

Alistair closed his eyes and shook his head. "You don't want to know."

"Oh, but I do," she replied.

"It's not my place to tell. Someday she may tell, but I can't," Alistair answered.

Tess finally left and was replaced by Gabriel and then he was eventually replaced by Kaylessa. When she had left, it was in the middle of the night and he had expected Tess to arrive, but she never did.

He was exhausted, he pulled two chairs together, grabbed a pillow to rest his head and before he even realized it he had drifted into a deep sleep.

He felt soft fingers slide through his hair and he heard the soft call of his name. Mmm, he loved the way she purred his name when she wanted something from him…when she wanted him. He felt her warm fingers slide down his cheek to his neck. He also felt a weight on his lap as it pressed into his groin. He immediately snapped awake to find Sabrina straddling him in the chair.

She smiled at him, "Hi Lover, glad I could wake you up."

"Aaah, Bree it's late. We have a big day tomorrow."

She looked at him questioningly. "How is that possible if I'm still recovering?"

Alistair looked around the room and realized that this scene was very similar to when they had been ambushed in the foothills near Dragon's Peak. She had taken a brutal hit from an ogre that cracked her skull. They had found a nearby inn where Wynne and Morrigan had worked on her for days. When she had finally regained consciousness it was in a small room like this one and he had fallen asleep in a chair beside her bed. When she had woken up, she was completely refreshed and feeling very _invigorated_.

He looked up at the woman that he loved, who was now straddling him and pressing, oh so tantalizingly against him. As much as he wanted her, as much he wanted to take her and make love to her once again, he couldn't. She didn't want him. She was reliving a past memory and even if she wasn't, she was no longer his. He had accepted that, he had moved on and he wouldn't betray his wife or his brother in such a manner, but he had to laugh - the Maker definitely had a cruel sense of payback.

He gently eased Sabrina off of his lap and back onto the bed. "I'm sorry, my Love, but you need your rest. When you are fully recovered we will pick up where we left off." She smiled so lovingly at him it broke his heart. She use to smile at him like that all the time and the memory of it tore through him.

"I'm going to hold you to that," she cooed.

He kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

When she finally drifted off to sleep again he rested his head beside her and cried for all that he had lost.

**A/N - In Mirror Images the primary focus had been on Alistair and his journey to come to terms with his anger and resentment, but Sabrina never really had the opportunity to face up to her own feelings of betrayal and to confront Alistair about it. I felt that the only way for these two to have the strong relationship that we saw in the epilogues is for Sabrina to deal with her unresolved feelings. As you can see over the past six years Alistair has continued to grow and mature and is now ready to help her face her anger over the decisions that he made. ****Unfortunately, as the Epilogues showed poor Alistair will struggle with his feelings for Sabrina all of his life and we will see some of that turmoil. **

***Special thanks to Jinxy for working her beta magic on this chapter. You're a rock star! Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3 At Your Side

**Chapter 3**

"If life's standing still and your soul's confused, and you cannot find what road to choose  
If you make mistakes, you can't let me down, I will still believe, I will turn around

And you know that, I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn, I'll be at your side"

_At Your Side by The Corrs_

_Alistair had the edge of his blade hooked over her shirt and with one quick flick of his wrist he ripped it in two. His anger at her hardened his features as he slid the blade down her neck, the tip came to rest between her bare breasts…by the Maker, her bare breasts…she wasn't wearing a breast brand. Alistair's breath caught in his throat as he stared at her perfect breasts. A gentle breeze blew across the deck causing her nipples to become even more erect and hard. They were the most tantalizing pair of breasts he had ever seen and he ached to take those taut nubs in his mouth….What the hell was he thinking this was his brother's wife…this was Sabrina, not his Bree. The thought had barely registered when he felt his brother's presence._

_Alistair spun to face him and the image of Sabrina disappeared. Tristen grinned at him, "Well that is one way to work out your issues."_

_Alistair smiled sheepishly at his brother, "If I had known that she wasn't wearing a breast band I wouldn't have…"_

_Tristen continued to grin. "Yes, you would have."_

"_Nothing happened, you have to know, nothing happened," Alistair said defensively._

"_I know, Alistair. I trust you and my wife completely. Did the two of you manage to work some things out?"_

"_I believe we have definitely come to an understanding and we were making progress until Sabrina became ill…"_

_Tristen stepped forward, concern and fear radiating off of him. "Brin is ill?"_

"_She was, she came down with Wild Fever, but she's fine. Kaylessa has given her a clean bill of health and says she will make a complete recovery."_

"_Thank the Maker for that. I hate the damn Korcari Wilds, I wish we never had to go down there," Tristen grumbled._

"_Yes, I hate them too, but for different reasons," Alistair agreed. Alistair and his brother turned away from where the fight had taken place and made their way toward the stern._

Alistair's head still rested on the bed beside Sabrina when he sensed her taint stirring, before his mind could clear the fog of sleep and process that, he felt a soft hand rest on his as she whispered, "Have you been here the whole time?"

Alistair looked to see her dark green eyes sparkling at him. He smiled warmly at her, "Of course. I had to make sure my brother's wife pulled through. Tristen would kill me if I allowed anything to happen to you."

She smiled back at him. "I take it I'm going to live then."

"Yes, your fever broke in the middle of the night and Kaylessa declared you fit as a fiddle. Whatever, that means, but she said you might be weak for a few days. So she wants you to take it easy, but you will make a full recovery," Alistair replied.

"Take it easy and I was so looking forward to shredding a few more of your shirts," Sabrina said weakly.

"Sorry you are under strict orders. There is no shredding in your future. Thank the Maker for small favors," Alistair replied.

"Can I have some water?" She asked.

"Of course, are you hungry?"

Sabrina paused and then nodded her head. "I will send for some food."

He turned to leave when she quietly said, "Thank you, Alistair."

He turned back to her and smiled, "Of course, I'm not going to let you starve."

She looked at him for a long time, and then said, "No, thank you for not succumbing to my feeble attempts to seduce you last night. I know that couldn't have been very pleasant for you."

Alistair's eyes widened, "You were aware…" his voice trailed off.

"Not during the actual delusion, but once the fever broke I remembered everything. I'm so sorry for putting you in such a predicament, but thank you for being a gentleman," she said as she smiled sheepishly at him.

Alistair smiled back then gave her a slight bow, "Of course, my Lady." He then turned and left to find her some food.

As he closed the door behind him, Alistair breathed a sigh of relief and noticed his hands were trembling. Thank the Maker he had found the strength to resist her and not cave into what he so desperately yearned for. That would have been a disaster. He would never have been able to face her or Tristen ever again. He hurried off to get her something to eat and drink.

Three days later when they finally pulled into the Kirkwall port, Sabrina was back to her full strength. He was grateful that she didn't bring up the delusions again. He was sure that she was just as embarrassed by them as he was.

Teagan, who had arrived in Kirkwall three weeks prior had been sent ahead to make all the appropriate preparations for the King's visit. He had rented a large estate in Hightown for the duration of the Royal visit. Sabrina had planned on renting rooms at the local inn, but Alistair insisted that he had plenty of room for her and the Wardens. She was hesitant to agree, but she finally conceded when Alistair mentioned that Tristen's mind would be put at ease to know that she was staying with him.

Sabrina had spent the first three days in Kirkwall tracking down leads on Anders and Nate, and she had received good information on both of them that she was planning on following through on. However, never being one to turn down the opportunity to harass a templar she had eagerly agreed to accompany Alistair to the Viscount's castle to meet the templar Knight-Commander.

Now as they stood before Knight-Commander Meredith listening to her spew her self-righteous indignation, Alistair was regretting bringing Sabrina. She stood behind him obscured in the shadows, not wanting to draw needless attention to herself; she wanted Alistair to be able to diplomatically work out a solution, but he could feel the anger in her taint begin to boil at the bigotry of this close minded woman and he knew he had to try and calm the situation down.

"Let me guess, that's your final answer," Alistair replied as he crossed his arms.

"Three mages have escaped Ferelden and you have intervened to protect them. As if it's your right to do so. What other answer…"

Sabrina stepped out from behind Alistair and there were audible gasps by her sudden appearance. She wore her Warden Commander's armor; it made her look imposing and the look on her face made her look frightening. She glared at Meredith as she interrupted the templar's rant. "I could make it my right," she hissed.

Meredith looked shocked at seeing the Hero of Ferelden emerge from the shadows, but she quickly reined in her emotions. "You have no rights here, Commander. This isn't Ferelden."

A sly malicious grin slowly spread across Sabrina's face as she stared directly into Meredith's eyes. "You're wrong," Sabina sneered menacingly as she took a step closer to the Knight-Commander so that they were only inches apart from each other. "The Wardens have no borders, they bow to no King, no Order and no Chantry and we hold the right of conscription, so you see I can make it my right, _Knight-Commander Meredith_."

Meredith's eyes went wide and a loud snicker came from behind the woman dressed in rogue's armor. Alistair glanced over and for the first time he saw Anders. His eyes danced with delight as he watched his Commander give the woman who stood for all he was against complete and utter hell. This could end very badly.

Meredith set her jaw and returned Sabrina's hard gaze. "Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm just stating a fact," Sabrina replied coolly.

"And what precisely is that _fact_?" Meredith asked.

"That as Warden Commander I can conscript anyone I deem worthy for our cause. That could be these three mages you seek or…that could even be you," Sabrina replied coldly.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I? Obviously, you didn't become Knight-Commander based on your looks, so you must be a strong warrior and a cunning one at that. That is exactly the type of recruits the Wardens are looking for," Sabrina replied unemotionally.

Meredith took a step back and glared over Sabrina's shoulder at Alistair. "Perhaps the next time Ferelden chooses a king it will be one that takes his duty to the Maker more seriously." Meredith then gave Sabrina a deadly look before she spun on her heels and marched out of the hall.

Anders burst out into laughter, "By Andraste's bliss box Commander, that was even better then you showing up as Mistress Templar-Spank-A-Lot."

Alistair and the rogue shot him a stunned look as Sabrina spun round and for the first time realized that the mage was there. She cried out, "Anders!" As she ran into his arms and hugged him enthusiastically.

Anders chuckled as he wholeheartedly returned the hug. "It's good to see you too, Bree."

"Mistress Templar-Spank-A-Lot? All that time together, how did I miss the riding crop and the leather corset?" Alistair amused.

Sabrina looked over her shoulder at Alistair. "I am a woman after all...I still have some mystery about me. Besides, I do have some moves you've never seen."

Both Alistair and Teagan choked and laughed at the same time.

"What? You have played naughty mage with someone other than me?" The rogue said mocked incredulous tone.

Sabrina smiled warmly at the pretty woman standing beside her. "Oh he never played that with me, but I'm glad to see he talked someone into it."

Just then Isabela stepped out from behind Anders and smiled teasingly. "Warden, your Majesty, you two are looking….well," she cooed as eyed the two of them. "However, both of you look a little tired with all that armor on, I don't have a ship anymore, but I have a room at the Hanged Man come over sometime, and we can have a night even more blissful than our last plank walking experience," she purred while winking at Alistair.

Alistair felt his cheeks flush and felt Teagan's eyes curiously boring into him.

Anders grinned at Sabrina. "Bree, I always knew you had a kinky streak in you."

"You'll never know anything about that either, Anders. And if I recall, you had a fondness for playing with pussy…cats instead of pirates," Sabrina replied.

"Thank the Maker for that," rogue replied.

"Well my door is always open, cats, pirates, templar's with whips…I'm game," Isabela cooed.

"Where did you say you were staying?" Teagan asked with a grin and Alistair shot him a surprised looked.

Trying to bring the conversation around full circle Anders asked, "What are you doing here, Commander?"

"I've been worried about you. Your letters and the lack of news in your letters concerned me. I warned you not to make me hunt you down," Sabrina said in a feigned scolding voice.

"Is that why you're here? For me?" Anders questioned astonished.

"Yes, for you and Nate," Sabrina replied. Alistair noticed the rogue standing near them observing the reunion with look of irritation of her face.

There was a cough behind him as Teagan cleared his throat. "Your Majesty, this is the Champion of Kirkwall, Mariella Hawke."

Mariella bowed to Alistair. "It's a pleasure to meet you, your Majesty."

"Mariella…"

"Please call me, Mari," the Champion said.

Alistair smiled warmly at her and watched as the tension eased from her shoulders. "Mari, I have been looking forward to meeting you. I know that you came here from Lothering. A Ferelden refugee that has done well for herself, and I was hoping that your influence here in Kirkwall might be of use. Would you and Anders be able to join me at the estate that I am staying, for dinner this evening?"

Mari looked at Anders and he gave a curt nod. "We would be delighted to, your Majesty," Mari replied.

"Wonderful, we will see you then," Alistair said.

**xxXxx**

Mari sat her vanity trying to fix her hair for the hundredth time, but it was being unruly and not cooperating. What the hell had she been thinking agreeing to have dinner the King? She was not noble, not raised on social graces; she just knew that she was going to do or say the wrong thing and completely embarrass herself. She let out a sigh in frustration as she decided to clip the sides of her dark red tresses back.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard Anders come in until he sat down beside her on the bench. He gently stroked her cheek. "What's the matter, Love?"

"I'm just regretting accepting a dinner invitation to dine with Royalty…" her voice drifted off as he gently began to massage the back of her neck and felt the tension begin to drain away. The touch of his nimble soft fingers sent shivers down her spine.

"Mar, I've seen you walk into any number of given situations with ease and confidence. What's the real reason you are upset?" Anders said as he stood up behind her so that he could use both his hands to massage her neck and shoulders. She let out a slight sigh as the nervousness began to recede.

"The Hero of Ferelden, she isn't what I was expecting," Mari replied tentatively.

"You were expecting her to be ten feet tall and breathing fire," Anders said jokingly.

Mari laughed, "No, I just wasn't expecting her to be so…so pretty, so charming or so tiny. Hell, if the Archdemon sneezed on her it would blow her away."

Anders bent over her as his hands slipped across her shoulders and slid inside the top of her dress. He cupped her breast as his thumb caressed her nipple and she let out a moan. He kissed her neck up to her ear and whispered, "She has nothing on you, my Love."

She smiled as she leaned back into him. "You seem very close with her."

"Love, I don't want to talk about Bree," he moaned as his arm wrapped around her waist he pulled her up on her feet and back against him. He pressed his already very hard member against her backside. His breath was ragged as his hands pulled up her dress; he pushed aside the fabric of her small clothes, his fingers glided through her curls, between her folds and deep into her center. She cried out as his fingers tormented and slowly slid in and out of her as his thumb teasingly caressed the nub that was now wet and swollen. Oh Maker, the things this man did to her. The passion that he ignited in her every time he touched her, it burned through her like wild fire, but she couldn't get enough of him; she needed him to consume her. She pressed her hips into his hand trying to add more pressure.

"You are so incredibly wet," he groaned against her neck as his fingers plunged deeper into her, she cried out as he pressed his hips against her bottom. He pulled his fingers out of her and used her juices to wet the now throbbing pearl. He stroked and caressed her, increasing his speed and pressure as she trembled against his hand.

Anders pressed against her as his hand was rapidly gliding in and out, stroking her, his other hand pinched, tugged and pulled at her nipples sending her over the edge. She cried out as her body went stiff and her muscles contracted around his fingers. Her head fell back against his chest as a sigh escaped her lips.

"I need you, Mari," Anders groaned as he spun her around and his mouth closed over hers. His mouth plundered hers with an aching fervor that rocked Mari to her core. She returned the fevered kiss as their tongues danced with hunger and need. A moan tore from her throat, sending Anders over the edge, with one hand he pushed her back against the wall while the other undid the laces on his trousers. His pants fell to the floor and he quickly stepped out of them, he roughly pulled off her small clothes.

"I need you, now. I must be in you now," he sighed and with one swift movement he grabbed her bottom and scooped her up and as she clung to him with one arm around his neck she guided him into her with the other.

"Oh sweet Andraste" he sighed as he thrust into her. "Oh Mar, you feel incredible."

It shocked her that hunger could be so luscious. That domination could taste so sweet. Anders pressed her against the wall, her legs encircled his waist he drove deeper into her and a guttural groan tore from his throat as she pushed her hips forward and rocked against him as she desperately rode against him. Her fingers entangled in his soft blond hair as she pulled his head towards hers; her lips seeking out his and his tongue explored her as the taste of him completely intoxicated her. She was hopelessly lost in him forever.

Her body began to tense as the wave of pure ecstasy rolled over her. She cried out "Oh Maker, yes, yes, Anders," and her body shuddered as the wave of pleasure broke hard. She ran her nails up his back as she felt his body tense and he groaned her name into her throat as he thrust one more time before he collapsed against her trying to catch his breath.

He kissed the sides of her throat as he sighed. "Mmmm, I think that should take the edge off until we come home tonight. What do you think?"

"Maybe, if not we might have to find an empty room and have a quickly," she cooed.

Anders laughed as he pulled back and looked into her eyes, "I love you, Mar. I love you more than words can say."

She brushed her lips against his, "I love you too, Anders."

Mari looked around the dinner table at guests that had been gathered there for the evening. Besides Alistair, his Chancellor Teagan, Sabrina, Anders and herself, Alistair had also invited all of the Wardens traveling with Sabrina. For the most part dinner had been uneventful, the conversation mostly centered on catching up on the events of the past five years and reminiscing about the good ole' days. Mari found Sabrina intriguing. Sabrina was quick witted and like her Sabrina used her cunning sense of humor to deflect attention from herself. Also like her, Sabrina was protective of the people that she loved and that included Anders. She eyed him suspiciously several times, but Anders had avoided looking directly into his Commander's eyes. When Sabrina's attention was elsewhere, Mari noticed love in Anders gaze when he looked Sabrina. Not the kind of love that one has for an ex-lover or even a would be lover, no, it was…awe…admiration…respect and why wouldn't he admire her? After all she was the Hero of Ferelden, she had stopped the Blight, saved a nation and from what Mari had gathered in the brief talks that she had with Anders about his time with the Wardens, Sabrina had also managed to save the City of Amarantine and stop a darkspawn civil war. Mari had never been a jealous woman and she had to battle with herself now to keep green-eyed monster squelched.

"So Commander, why did you make Anders get rid of his cat? That seems rather cruel." Mari asked dryly.

Anders began to choke and Sabrina's brow furrowed. "Sir Pounce-a-lot? Why would I give him a gift, just make him get rid of it? That would be rather cruel of me, don't you think? Anders, where is Sir Pounce-a-lot?"

Mari watched as the color drained from Anders' face. She didn't know what was going on, but she could tell Anders was not happy with where this conversation was headed.

"Aaah, before I left Amaranthine I gave him to Kristoff's wife, Aura. I thought he might help her while she was grieving," Anders said as he took a gulp of his wine.

Sabrina's eyes narrowed, "Why did you tell Mari that I made you get rid of him?"

"I-I never said you made me get rid of him, I said the Wardens did," Anders countered.

Sabrina was now staring hard at Anders and the weight of her stare made even Mari nervous. She was no longer addressing him as friend and comrade; she was addressing him as his commanding officer. Her voice wasn't harsh, but it was stern. "Why would you say that Anders, and why would you give Sir Pounce-a-lot away? You loved that cat."

All eyes were now on Anders, and Mari watched as he took another gulp of wine. That wasn't good. Anders rarely drank nowadays because the alcohol made him lose his grasp on Justice. "Well…I was concerned about the cat's safety."

"Since when? You took that cat into the Deep Roads and placed a better protective charm on him then you did on your companions. So why now the sudden concern, Anders?"

Anders didn't say anything, took another sip of wine and looked intently at his plate. Not one used to having people not respond to her questions, Sabrina pushed harder. "What aren't you telling me Anders? Why did you leave the Wardens?"

Mari was astonished as she realized that Anders never told her the reason for his departure. Why? Why didn't he trust her enough to tell her? But as she looked at Anders she realized it wasn't trust, the pained look on his face as he struggled with his emotions told her everything. He didn't want to disappoint her and he was worried that his failures would let down his Commanding Officer and friend.

"Anders!" Sabrina exclaimed and Anders head snapped up as the brilliant blue sparkled in his eyes. Mari saw the shock ripple across Sabrina's face before she quickly became the calm cool Commander once more.

She sat perfectly still as she stared at Anders and coolly demanded, "Who are you?"

Anders eyes glowed intensely as the deep voice spoke, "You don't recognize me, Commander."

Sabrina's face remained stoic. "Should I?"

"We defeated the Architect and Brood Mother together. The body of the host I was in was sacrificed as I aided in your cause. I would think that should warrant some type of recollection," Justice said.

Now fear and disbelief were visible on Sabrina's face as she stared at him. "Anders, what did you do?" She cried out and Mari noticed tears brimming in her eyes.

"He's an abomination," Gabriel declared and began to reach for his sword.

"Put your sword away, Gabriel," Sabrina ordered.

"But…" Sabrina shot him a look so fierce that the argument died on his lips.

"Bree, he is an abomination," Alistair declared.

Sabrina fixed her eyes on Alistair as she calmly and coldly replied, "This is Warden business, Alistair. If you wish to remain here, you do so as a Warden which means you answer to me. If you are going to be the King of Ferelden then you need to leave."

Alistair's face grew stern, but he remained seated as he grunted an almost inaudible, "Fine."

Justice looked directly into Sabrina's eyes, "Anders, gave me a home so that we could continue his mission, but the mission has now changed, Commander."

Sabrina struggled to remain composed, but numerous emotions flickered across her face. "Why has the mission changed?"

"Because there are times when it becomes necessary to fight against things that have become so wrong, so vile that they should no longer be tolerated," Justice said coldly and it sent a shiver down Mari's back.

"Justice is objective and based on fact. What you are talking about is vengeance and that is a subjective based on personal opinion," Sabrina retorted.

"And sometimes they overlap and are one in the same," Justice retorted.

"No they aren't. One is about maintaining order in a society and the other is about individual satisfaction. There is no honor in that, _Justice_," Sabrina argued.

"There is honor in changing the way society views what is right and wrong especially when that change will transform the lives of many," he countered.

Sabrina took in a deep breath and calmly demanded, "You are speaking about a revolution and what you are saying while on foreign soil is treason. I want to speak to Anders. I want to speak to my friend."

"Am I no longer your friend, Commander," he asked.

"Justice is my friend; although I am just as pissed at him right now for going along with asinine plan. However my friend Justice, sought to understand the injustices of this world and to change them, but not through vengeance. Vengeance is selfish because it refuses to see that the end does not justify the means," Sabrina replied evenly.

"It was Anders' anger and hatred that turned me into what you see before you today," Justice retorted.

"I want to speak to, Anders!"

Anders eyes flashed fiercely blue and then faded back to their normal color. Anders slowly looked up into Sabrina's eyes and Mari saw him physically cringe when he saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Why Anders? Why did you do it?"

"I wanted to help my friend…"

"You willingly took a spirit into your body. You, a mage of all people, should know how incredibly idiotic that was, but why didn't you trust me enough to tell me," Sabrina said.

"I knew you would be angry with me and concerned, but at the time there wasn't cause for that. At first it wasn't a bad thing, we were going to work together to change the plight of mages. However, once I arrived in Kirkwall and I saw how cruel the templars here were and the unforgivable mistreatment of mages, my anger became outrage and Justice started to change. My anger corrupted him and made him what he is now. I destroyed what used to be a good spirit, what was once my friend and now I am revolted by what I have turned him into," Anders muttered as he continued to stare into his hands.

Sabrina was on her feet and then kneeling in front of him in flash. "Look at me Anders," Sabrina requested.

Anders looked at her. "I once told you that I would go into the Fade itself to save you and I meant that. Somehow, we will find a way. You have my word on that. Do you hear me? I won't stop until I save you," Sabrina said.

For the first time that night, Mari saw why Sabina's Wardens would follow her into the Dark City itself if she asked. This woman was profoundly and genuinely loyal to those she loved and cared about. She was a woman to have at your side, someone to have as an ally, but she was also a woman that Mari could call a friend.

"And what if I'm not worthy of being saved?" Anders asked.

Mari felt her heart stop at that question. How could he ask that? How could he not see his own worth?

Sabrina smiled at him, "My dear friend, how can you even ask me that? After all that we've been through together, I know who you are. Justice…Vengeance may have changed you some, but I know who you are deep down. I've seen you fight by my side and nearly die trying to save those around you instead of saving yourself. You have a kind heart, a caring heart, a healer's heart and it's because of your ability to care, that you feel so strongly about the predicament of the mages here in Kirkwall. We will find a way, I promise."

"Thanks, Bree," Anders whispered.

"Anytime my friend, anytime," Sabrina said.

* * *

**Author Notes** – In this chapter we meet Anders and the lovely Lady Hawke several years after their relationship started. To give us a little background on how this smokin' hot couple got together, I wrote a one shot called Beautiful Disaster. I hope you enjoy it.

Ht tp : / www .fanfiction .net/s/6857203/1/Beautiful_Disaster

*Thank you once again to everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review this story. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments.

* Last, but never least I would like to thank Beta Goddess Jinxy for her mad crunk beta skills and for her friendship and support. You're the best!


	4. Chapter 4 Shades of Grey

**Chapter 4**

"Some things were perfectly clear, seen with the vision of youth  
No doubts and nothing to fear, I claimed the corner on truth  
These days it's harder to say I know what I'm fighting for  
My faith is falling away, I'm not that sure anymore

Shades of grey wherever I go, the more I find out the less that I know  
Black and white is how it should be, but shades of grey are the colors I see"

_Shades of Grey by Billy Joel_

After the emotionally charged dinner, Alistair suggested they move into the study to relax with a glass of brandy.

"So Bree, you mentioned earlier that you were here for both me and Nate. We ran into his sister Delilah the other day and she asked us to look into his disappearance," Anders said.

Sabrina drew in a deep breath and shook her head in frustration. "Damn it, I told her I would look into it. Why would she go to an outsider for help?"

"Well, I believe she sought me out because it was my expedition that had gone there three years ago and she was hoping that I would look into your Warden's disappearance," Mari replied.

"Did you agree to do that for her?" Sabrina asked.

"Yes, I told her I would investigate," Mari replied.

Sabrina gave a curt nod and thought for a moment. "Would you mind if the Wardens tagged along with you?"

Mari thought about it for a moment and then asked, "Why were the Wardens sent there in the first place?"

Sabrina smiled, "I love a woman that answers a question with a question. Tell me what you know about the Old Gods?"

"Well, it's been a while since I had that Chantry lesson, but if memory serves me correctly, the Old Gods were beings that were worshipped by the mages of the Tevinter Imperium," Mari said.

"Have you ever heard how an archdemon is created?" Sabrina asked. Mari shook her head so Sabrina continued, "The Old Gods call to the darkspawn who are continuously searching for them. Once the darkspawn find one of them, their taint corrupts the Old God, turning them into an archdemon and so begins a new Blight. The Magisters worshipped seven Old Gods and we just ended the fifth Blight, there are still two more out there."

"What's to say there aren't more? I'm just asking because even though the Magisters worshipped only seven, that doesn't mean that they were the only ones out there," Mari asked.

Again Sabrina smiled warmly at her. "You are correct. There could be more, but I have to work from the current information that I have. The Old Gods are extremely well hidden and that is why it normally takes darkspawn hundreds of years to locate one. However, with some recent developments after the attacks on both Amaranthine and Vigil's Keep, I have grave concerns that there is a highly organized and more intelligent group of darkspawn that are looking for the Old Gods. The fact that you encountered darkspawn at the depths that you did has me very concerned. So Nate led a group of Wardens into the Deep Roads to look for specific evidence of the darkspawn activity."

Anders had an idea of what type of information she was looking for, so without giving too much away to the non Wardens in the room he said, "When I was down there I saw no proof that you are dealing the likes of the Lost, the Herald, or the Messenger."

Mari gave him a confused look, but he just shook his head. Sabrina stood up and paced the room. "Well, that is good news. Then things might not be as bad as I feared. However, the depth of that thaig worries me and not just me, but Weisshaupt too. That isn't the only primeval thaig that has been discovered recently and all of the Wardens in Thedas have become extremely interested."

As the realization of what she was undertaking hit him, Anders stared at her flabbergasted. "You're looking for the Old Gods, to destroy them before the darkspawn can find them." Sabrina gave a curt nod. "Holy shit, Bree that is suicide; if you find them, they aren't just going to roll over and say, 'Jolly good, you found me. Now, let me just lay my head on the chopping block for you'. These are Old _Gods_. Do I need to emphasize the God part some more? They are going to be extremely powerful, if not indestructible, and they are going to put up one hell of a fight."

Sabrina smiled sadly at him. "Good thing I have experience on my side then. Anders, this is what I do, this is who I am. If I can save thousands upon thousands of lives by finding these creatures and destroying them, then I will do everything in my power to do so."

"And if you die?" Anders asked bitterly.

"Then I die trying to save lives," Sabrina replied coolly almost detached.

He flew out of his seat, stood in front of her and demanded, "And what about Tristen?"

"What about him?"

"You would run off to the Deep Roads and leave the man that you love behind so that he can learn to live without you," Anders retorted.

"Thank you for your concern over Tristen and my well being, but my husband understands about duty and honor…"

"Argh," Anders grunted in frustration as his eyes flashed blue. "Commander, haven't you done enough? With all that you have done it seems unjust for you to once again lay your life on the line."

"Well, look whose being the hypocritical mage now?" Tess said dryly.

Sabrina's face hardened as her gaze became cold as steel. "_Justice_, are you not willing to sacrifice your host's life for your crusade against the templars?"

Anders' eyes flashed again. "Anders willingly puts his life on the line for the cause that he believes in."

"Really? So let me get this straight, it's Anders that is willingly putting his life on the line? It's Anders that is willing to walk away from the woman that he loves to needlessly die for this revolution that you want? I don't think so. I know him too well. It is you that is willing to make him the sacrificial lamb for your crusade. It is you that is corrupting his mind, because the Anders I know sees more than black and white. The Anders that I know realizes that there are many shades of grey," Sabrina retorted coldly.

Mari's heart was pounding in her chest. This was the most that Justice had said in weeks and the things he was saying were truly frightening her. She knew her love for Anders blinded her and that she didn't always see clearly where he was concerned, but tonight Sabrina had managed to force her to confront what she had been denying to herself for a long time. Justice was planning something and while Anders was going along with it, she had to wonder just how much control Anders still had. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Varric had tried to warn her, but as in all things that concerned the man that she passionately loved, she had refused to listen. The raised voice of the Warden Tess, pulled her out of her thoughts.

"But nothing, Anders, the Commander is doing what must be done to stop another Blight from happening and to save the lives of thousands upon thousands of people. As a Grey Warden you should know this," Tess retorted.

"Don't remind me," Anders replied. Mari studied him and was glad to see that Justice was quiet once again.

A heartbroken look settled on Sabrina's face. "I'm sorry Anders. I didn't realize that the Wardens had been so awful to you."

Anders looked at his Commander's saddened expression and regret crossed his face. "Bree, you know that I never really enjoyed being a Warden - all the darkspawn, the taint, the blighted Deep Roads, I hated it. I stayed for you because you believed in me. You gave me another chance when it would have been so much easier for you to turn me over to the templars and be done with me. I wanted to make you proud and to assure you that you made the right decision when you spared me."

Sabrina smiled at him, "I knew that, the moment I conscripted you."

"Bree, it bothers me that you are going on this mission and I can't be there to protect you, to heal you," Anders said.

"You could always come with us. You are still a Warden," Bree replied.

Anders looked at Mari and then slowly shook his head. "No, I can't. My place is here now. My mission is here."

Sabrina smiled warmly at both of them. "I understand. So Mari, is it okay if we accompany you into the Deep Roads?"

It seemed that this woman understood her lover better than she did. Her insight had been and would continue to be invaluable. "Yes, that would be fine. We plan on leaving in two days," Mari said.

"We will be ready, thank you," Sabrina replied.

Later that evening as Mari settled into bed with Anders, she couldn't help reflecting on the events of the night.

"Well, that was a very interesting and enlightening evening."

Anders didn't say anything, but she felt him give a quick nod and he kissed her forehead. He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Within minutes she heard the soft rhythmic sounds of Anders breathing, and she was happy that he was able to fall asleep so quickly after what had been a very emotional day. Unfortunately for her, the dark troubling thoughts that kept repeating in her mind did not let sleep come for several more hours.

xxXxx

They had now been in the Deep Roads for a week and while there had been plenty of darkspawn activity, there had been no sign of Nathaniel Howe. It fascinated Mari that before each encounter with the darkspawn one of the Wardens would yell a warning about them approaching. This was very helpful and she wondered why Anders hadn't done that their first trip down here. She would have to ask him about that.

The lack of sunlight and the damp musky smell was starting to get on her nerves. She wanted to breathe in deeply and not have the urgent need to vomit all the time.

They had just entered a long narrow tunnel when Sabrina gleefully said, "Warden senses tingling."

Moments later darkspawn appeared at the end of the tunnel and both Sabrina and Mari charged forward knocking several of them down, coming up behind them to deliver a backstabbing blow. The battle raged on in the confined space making it hard to maneuver around and behind them. Mari was so focused on the fight in front of her that she barely registered the loud explosion. She heard Sabrina yell, "Look out!" Just before she was tackled from behind and several large boulders crashed down behind them. She heard Sabrina cry out and when she looked back, she saw that the Commander's ankle was trapped by a large rock, but she couldn't help her just then, she had about five darkspawn to deal with. She charged at them while Sabrina threw Miasmic and Chameleon's Breath flasks allowing Mari to concentrate on the darkspawn and not worry about protecting her. Mari quickly dispatched the monsters, then hurried over to Sabrina. She examined the rocks and she prayed that she would be able to move the small boulders.

"Hold still, let me see if I can move this," Mari said as she slowly lifted the rock off of Sabrina's leg. Sabrina winced as she pulled free from underneath.

"Shite, I think my ankle is broken," Sabrina hissed through gritted teeth as she probed the injured area, her eyes filling with tears from the pain.

Mari dug through her backpack and found a healing potion. "Here drink this and I will look around to see if I can find something to splint that with. We have to try and find the others," Mari said.

It took her about twenty minutes to find some wood to use as a splint and a large stick that Sabrina could use to ease the weight from her ankle. Mari put the splint in place and wrapped the foot and ankle and helped the Warden to her feet. Sabrina tested her weight but any pressure at all made her cry out in pain. With the stick as an aide and Sabrina's arm around Mari's neck for support, it was slow and tiring, but they made some progress. Sabrina used Anders' taint to guide them toward the others and luckily they didn't run across anymore darkspawn. After several hours they decided to make camp.

Mari gathered the wood and started a fire, while Sabrina looked at the food between their two backpacks and began to make dinner. Mari was shocked that even with what little they had, Sabrina managed to make a really good vegetable soup.

"This is really good. If you can cook this well, please don't let Anders ever cook again," Mari begged.

"Yes, I did notice that his cooking skills have not improved at all over the past six years. I didn't think it was possible, but I believe they got worse," Sabrina chuckled.

"You mean he use to be better? I can't imagine that. For a man that is so good with his hands…"

Mari stopped in mid-sentence when she noticed the wicked grin on Sabrina's face. "What?"

Sabrina raised an eyebrow and continued to grin at her. "You're the one that said he was good with his hands. I was just wondering how good?"

Mari smiled warily back at her. "I assumed you already knew how good his hands are."

To her credit Sabrina's smile never faltered. "If you assume, you can make an ass out of you and me."

"So you and Anders were never a couple?"

"Maker no! I love Anders like a brother and would do anything for him, but we have never been anything more than friends. If it eases your mind at all, I love my husband. He is the only man that I have eyes for," Sabrina said calmly.

Mari tried to hide her relief, but she knew it was written all over her face. "Thank you for letting me know."

"I'm sure you could have asked Anders that question. He would have told you the truth," Sabrina said.

"Well, every time I bring up the subject he distracts me…" Again Mari paused in mid-sentence when she saw Sabrina become completely still.

Sabrina forced herself unsteadily to her feet and through clenched teeth she whispered, "I sense darkspawn…not many…maybe only three or four."

Mari scrambled to her feet and drew her sword just at a hurlock rounded the corner. The beast took in the situation and grinned at them.

"Commander, it's good to see you again," it hissed and Mari's eyes went wide with shock.

"Bloody hell…i-it talks," Mari stuttered.

"I wish I could say the same," Sabrina replied to the fiend, coolly.

Mari stared at her dumbfounded. "You knew they could talk?"

"Only some of them can. I will explain later," she whispered. Then she turned her attention back to the darkspawn.

"What do you want, Seeker?"

It's malevolent grin spread wider on it's face as it took a step closer. "I just wanted to let you know that you will fail. We will find the Old One before you do, we will corrupt it and we will start another Blight. And this time, if you survive the impending events in Kirkwall, it will be you that slays the Archdemon and dies."

A malicious smile crossed her face as she gave the beast a deadly stare. "You haven't gotten there yet, and I'm always up for a challenge," Sabrina hissed.

"Well, now might be the time to change your fortunes," the Seeker sneered, just as four darkspawn came up from behind. "There isn't a Warden alive besides you that can defeat us or the Archdemon. It's one and a half verses five. I like our odds. You can't beat me if you aren't alive."

Cocking her head to one side as if listening to something, Sabrina carefully balanced on one foot. She drew her swords and waved the Seeker toward her, "Let's dance."

"Are you crazy?" Mari scorned.

Sabrina just smiled. "Trust me!"

The darkspawn slowly advanced, stalking them. Mari moved in front of Sabrina, trying to protect the injured Commander. They were only a few feet away when Mari heard the unmistakable sound of arrows whistling through the air. A hurlock suddenly sprouted an arrow from the back of his head while an emissary staggered, clutching at his back. A third unfortunate darkspawn went down and Sabrina used the distraction to throw her last Miasmic flask. Mari charged forward and knocked the Seeker down, dodging several more arrows that went whistling by her head. She dealt with the genlock and the injured swiftly and returned to Sabrina's side, helping to support her again. The skirmish was over fairly quickly and Mari looked around for the Seeker, but he was not among the corpses.

She looked across the cavern for their savior when she saw a tall, handsome man with broad shoulders and shoulder length black hair step out of the shadows. He stared at Sabrina for a long moment before a grin spread across his face. He was across the room in three quick strides and pulled her from Mari's side, into his arms. "Bean, it's really good to see you. Thank the Maker you are okay."

Mari could see the tears in Sabrina's eyes as she fervently hugged the rogue. "Oh Nate, I have been so worried about you. I am so glad that you are alive."

Nate pulled back and looked at Sabrina. "Come now, Commander. I haven't seen you cry over me since I left for the Free Marches."

Sabrina laughed. "These are tears of relief. I have been very worried about you."

"And is that why you are here? To rescue me? I'm touched," Nate replied dryly.

Sabrina hopped back slightly and Nate grabbed her waist to steady her. "Now don't make me regret the decision or else I can go find the Seeker and serve you to him on a silver platter."

Nate laughed. "Really? And are you going to hop like a bunny rabbit after him?"

Mari couldn't help but laugh out loud at a vision of the Commander hopping in the Deep Roads after the Seeker. When both Sabrina and Nate looked at her, she drew her dagger and hopped on one foot as she crooned, "I'm comin' to getcha, I'm comin' to getcha!" Both of them burst into fits of laughter.

Once they had regained control of their emotions and brief introductions were made, Nate eased Sabrina back down to the ground before he and Mari moved the darkspawn bodies away from camp before they both took a seat next to the fire.

"Did you come across the others?" Mari asked.

"I sensed other Wardens in tunnels not far from this one, but I recognized the Commander's taint and immediately headed this way," Nate replied.

"You can recognize each other's taints?" Mari asked.

"All Wardens can distinguish between us and darkspawn. A few of us who have a strong bond with another Warden can recognize that Warden's taint from others, because theirs hums a little differently. I can recognize Nate's, Alistair's, my husband's and Anders'," Sabrina explained.

Mari looked at Nate, "Among the other Wardens that you sensed, could you tell if one of them was Anders?"

Nate raised an eyebrow and dryly replied, "I don't have _that_kind of bond with Anders."

"So you have to have slept with a fellow Warden to sense their taint?" Mari asked suspiciously.

"NO!" Sabrina exclaimed. "It's just someone that you have a close connection with. Both Nate and Anders were two of my first recruits. At the time that I recruited them there were only three Wardens in Ferelden – Alistair, Tristen and myself. It was very easy to distinguish the slight differences in each other's taint, but as the Warden numbers have grown I can only discern the taint of those that I started out with."

"That is fascinating," Mari replied.

"Well, it's good to know that the group isn't far from here. I am sure Anders is using my taint to find us and that they will find us by morning," Sabrina said reassuringly.

"I'm sure you are right," Mari replied.

There was a long silence before Sabrina spoke again. "So I take it that you are the only survivor, Nate."

Nate's expression was sad as he nodded slowly. "Yes, Commander, they have all perished."

Sabrina was silent for a long moment. "They were all good Wardens and will be sorely missed."

Nate nodded in agreement, but remained silent.

"Were you able to gather some information or did our brave men and women die for nothing?"

A slight smile crossed his face. "They didn't die for nothing, Commander. I believe I found a road that goes even deeper, but it's blocked and there are always darkspawn surrounding it. We are going to have to bring Dworkin Glavanok out of hiding so that he can open the passage and we will need at least a small company of Wardens to keep the darkspawn off of him while he works."

"Damn it!" She exclaimed. She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration and let out a long sigh. "It's good news, but we are still at least a year away from going further down."

"Well, look on the bright side, if we aren't moving forward then they aren't either," Nate said.

"True, very true, we are definitely one step closer to fulfilling the mission," Sabrina replied as a grin spread across her face. "It would be nice to leave this world knowing that future generations will never have to face another Blight."

Nate smiled with her as the vision of that world filled his mind. He slid his arm around her shoulder as he whispered, "It would be very nice indeed."

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. Please continue to give me your opinions. **

***I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their fantabulous beta-ing skills, ****for your support and for being such a great sounding board. **** I enjoyed working out some of the details of this chapter with you. ****You ladies are the best!**


	5. Chapter 5 A Little More of You

**Chapter 5**

"Spent enough time in your arms to know, just where I want to be  
I've heard your voice enough to know, just what I need to hear  
Baby I'm right beside you  
All I need is a little more of you, all I need is a little more of you  
All I need is a little more of you to go on

Laughed with you enough to know, just how I want to feel  
I've been with you enough to know, just why I need you  
Baby I'm right beside you

All I need is a little more of you, all I need is a little more of you  
All I need is a little more of you to go on"

_A Little More of You by Ashley Chambliss_

Tristen sat at Sabrina's desk going over the paper work Varel had handed him earlier in the day, when his party had returned from the Deep Roads. He took a sip of brandy then pulled out the locket Fergus had given to him for Twelfth Night. He opened it and stared at the miniature portrait of his beautiful wife. He touched the picture with his fingers and lovingly traced the outline of her image. Damn, he missed her so much that it actually caused him physical pain. These had been the longest five months of his life, and in her last letter, Sabrina still didn't know when she would be home. The good news was that she had found both Nate and Anders. She hadn't gone into details but she'd indicated that something wasn't right with Anders. That news unsettled him and with the news that that things in Kirkwall were heating up Tristen was very anxious regarding her safety. She'd said she would be home as soon as things calmed down, but Maker only knows when that would be. Didn't she understand how much he needed her now? How much he ached for her? He yearned to see her radiant smile, to hear her infectious laugh, to see that roguish glint in her eyes, to hold her, feel her, taste her and make love to her. He longed desperately for her.

Alistair had returned from his visit to Kirkwall a month after he'd received her letter and the King had stopped by the Keep to give him an update on the situation. Tristen had been so furious at Anders that if the mage had been in front of him, he was sure he would have strangled him. The stupidity of that man was now placing his wife's life in danger, and Tristen knew she would not desert the mage as long as there was a chance that she could help him. Alistair had been just as furious, but had said Sabrina was using the weight of her position and the fact Anders was a warden to keep him safe, so there wasn't anything they could do. That bit of news had pissed him off even more; she was politically putting herself in danger, and if things were as unstable in Kirkwall as rumored, then she was in great peril.

There was a knock at the door and a small elf came in. "Arl Tristen, the bath that you requested is ready in your chambers." Tristen cringed at being addressed by his noble title, but no matter how many times he asked the servants to address him as Warden they continued to call him 'My Lord', or 'Arl Tristen'.

"Thank you, Elwen," Tristen said. He filled his glass with some more brandy and made his way toward their bedroom. He walked into the large master suite that was now so lonely and depressing without her lively presence. He quickly undressed and slipped into the hot water. The hot water felt so good that it instantly soothed his aching muscles. He laid his head back against the rim of the tub and thought back to their last night together in this room. The memory of the exquisite pleasure they had shared that night was the only thing sustaining him through this lonesome and painful separation.

Images of her as she straddled him that night flooded his mind. He smiled as he remembered the way she had thrown her head back, laughing at something he'd said and when she'd looked back at him, all of her long curly tresses had fallen around her face. She was so breathtakingly beautiful that the air had been sucked from his lungs. His hand slid down between his thighs as he remembered how he reached up to caress her tantalizing breasts. He could almost hear the purr that had escaped her lips as she leaned into his hands, could almost feel her hard nipples as his thumbs had caressed the taut nubs. He grasped himself and stroked as he recalled the feel of her breast against his tongue and a moan escaped him as his hips jerked forward. She had leaned down and kissed her way up from his neck to his ear. She had licked and nipped at his earlobe as she'd moaned, "Tristen, oh Love, I need you. I need to feel you inside me."

And he'd had no problem accommodating her request as he recalled the intense wave of pleasure that had shot through his body when he had entered her hot wet center. His hips jerked forward again as he increased the speed of his strokes. He remembered the alluring way that her breasts had swayed back and forth as she rode against him. She was all that he ever wanted, all that he ever needed and she was his…his wonderful, charming wife. He had delighted in her cries of passion as she called out his name over and over again. As he remembered the beautiful, erotic look on her face, his body tensed, ready for release and he held on to the memory of her body contracting against him, squeezing him as she drained him. He laid there gasping for breath and although spent, his body still ached for hers. He leaned back in the tub as his body completely relaxed and he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

_He was in the Deep Roads again, Oghren had just beheaded the last Hurlock. "Did you see that Tristen? It was like slicing th__rough butter. I'm telling you, whatever Herrin is doing differently when he sharpens our blades, it's great."_

_Tristen sensed something familiar moving towards him at the same time as he sensed his brother's presence. He spun to see Alistair standing off__ in a corner of the cavern. He smiled at him, "Hi there, brother."_

"_Having fun in the Deep Roads, I see," Alistair said. _

_He felt the familiar taint enter the cave and Tristen spun to face the Seeker. He hardened his gaze as he stared at the monster. _

_It grinned at him. "I've been waiting for you, Warden."_

"_Oh? And why is that?" Tristen inquired._

"_I saw your wife recently," it replied coolly and both brothers immediately tensed at the mention of Sabrina. _

_The Seeker enjoyed seeing their reaction a__nd he smiled cruelly at them as he continued. "She is looking as lovely as ever, Tristen. __A pity she won't stay that way much longer."_

_Tristen fought the urge not to react to the taunt and remained silent. So the beast continued, "__We had a very interesting conversation."_

"_I'm surprised that you're even alive to recount the tale," Tristen retorted._

"_Well considering her injuries, I was the on__e with the advantage," the Seeker gloated. Tristen knew he was looking for a reaction from him and if Tristen hadn't received a letter __from Sabrina telling him about __the incident, he might have given the __fiend __just the reaction he wanted. Instead he __continued to say__ nothing and __just __glare__d__ at __it__. _

"_So I told your __pretty __wife that she was going to fail in her mission. That we were going to find the Old God first and corrupt it before she had a chance to kill it. __Then o__nce again she would have to face an Archde__mon, but this time the outcome would be different." The Seeker paused for dramatic effect and it sneered ruthlessly at them as it continued. "This time she will be the one to slay the Archdemon and this time it will be her soul that will be ripped in two__."_

_Tristen__'s patience had run out as the anger roared through him. He __whipped out his axe and charged. "You fucking bastard, you stay away from my wife," he bellowed and in his dream, unlike what had really happened in the Deep Roads, Tristen removed the See__ker's head from its shoulders. __He watched __its__ head rol__l and he bent over in anguish as the tears flowed down his cheeks. _

_Alistair came up behind him and placed a reassuring hand on his back. "Is that what happened on your mission?"_

"_Yes, except the damn thing is walking around with its head still attache__d; it got away before I could reach it." _

"_You know it was just telling you those things to taunt you, to throw you off," Alistair tried to reassure him, but Tristen spun on him and fixed an angry stare at him._

"_You know damn well Alistair, that if the__y reach that Old God first and we have another Archdemon to deal with, that my wife _will _be the one to take the blow. She will not let one of her Wardens make the k-killing blow for her," Tristen hissed. _

_Alistair set his jaw and looked sternly at his br__other, "And she wouldn't be Sabrina if she did. You love her because she is brave and strong, that she inspires courage in all those that follow her. We can't change who she is, but we can do everything in our power to make sure that there will not _be _an__other Archdemon" _

_Tristen nodded, "Yes, your right. I'm sorry."_

_Alistair smiled. "It's alright. You're afraid for her and trust me, I'm right there with you, but it will work out. I have to believe that it will work out." _

The following morning Tristen packed his bags and called Varel and Oghren to his office. "I'm leaving this afternoon on a boat for Kirkwall. Oghren, you are in charge of the Wardens and Varel, would you take care of the Arling in my stead?"

"Boss Lady isn't going to be happy with you," Oghren chuckled.

"Well, I am willing to accept her wrath in order to keep her safe," Tristen said.

"You won't need to worry about things here, Warden. We will keep everything running smoothly," Varel said.

"Thank you both," Tristen said.

**xxXxx**  
Sabrina pulled the locket from her pocket. It had been a gift from Fergus during Twelfth Night Celebrations and she loved it dearly. She opened it and gently caressed the tiny portrait of Tristen with her fingertips. Every fiber of her being longed to be held securely in his embrace again, to feel safe as she nuzzled against him and to be able to let her guard down so that she could just be herself. Her body ached to feel the soft touch of his lips on hers, the loving stroke of his tongue against her skin, his strong, yet gentle hands caress and explore her. She didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to make it without him. She knew that Anders needed her and Mari needed her to help with Anders, but the yearning for her husband was rapidly growing into an almost uncontrollable hunger.

Anders voice brought her back to reality. "Maker's holy pumping pole Zev, that is the most ridiculous version I have ever heard about how the Brood Mother was killed! How you managed to portray yourself as the one that killed the bitch, when you were left behind at the Keep is beyond me," Anders teased.

Zev grinned over at Sabrina, "Mia Tesoro Amica, is that not how it happened?"

Sabrina gave her sinfully wicked smile and said, "That is exactly how it happened."

"What!" Anders exclaimed just before the realization dawned on him. "Aaah, I see…all heroic acts committed by Sabrina Theirin please insert the name Zevran Arainai, so that the humble noble hero can remain anonymous, and the notoriously narcissistic assassin continues to have his ego stroked," Anders said.

"Well with these stories I am hoping to have much more than my ego stroked, my friend," Zev chortled and everyone burst into laughter.

"I didn't realize that encouraging you to portray yourself as me was going to be a way to fill your bed with wanton admirers," Sabrina said.

"With the stories you have, my pet, it would be a crime not to use them to get laid, and obviously you don't need them to impress Tristen. You bat an eyelash and the man is ready to drop towel and go at like a horny nug," Zev retorted.

Tess laughed out loud. "You don't know the half of it, Zev. Why just before left for Kirkwall…"

"That will be enough out of you, Warden," Sabrina commanded.

"Aaah, come on Commander you can't pull rank with such an intriguing opening as that," Anders said.

"The hell I can't. That is why it's good to be the Commander," Sabrina answered with a grin.

"'Maker's holy cock', and 'By Andraste's glorious bliss box', that is all I'll say," Tess said quickly.

"Tess!" Sabrina exclaimed.

Tess gave her a wicked grin then quickly said, "Heard by all of the Keep."

Mari giggled. "By Andraste's glorious bliss box, I want to know what the man was doing to make you cry that out!"

"Damn, I leave for a little while and I miss all the good stuff," Zev moaned.

"'Maker's holy cock', and 'By Andraste's glorious bliss box', those are good ones Bree. I'm going to have to remember them," Anders chuckled.

This was the most at ease that Sabrina had seen Anders in months. His arm was resting comfortably around Mari's shoulders and he had that silly Anders grin on his face that she hadn't seen since before the final battle with the Mother and the Architect. Sabrina could tell by the look on Mari's face that she was seeing the real Anders for the first time. Not the sexy hot brooding Anders, but the playful, fun loving Anders that Sabrina loved very much.

It was what Sabrina had begun to refer to as the "Zev Effect". The Elf's lively presence had that effect on both Anders and on her… hell, his charisma and charm had that effect on most people if their noses weren't too far up their own arses. Sabrina hadn't realized how much she had missed her best friend until he had stepped out of the shadows in that cave. Her heart had leapt with joy at the sight of him and her feet had her leaping into his arms. She may not have Tristen, but Zev was the next best thing. His warm, loving embrace soothed her.

"Well, when we were teenagers she once cried out 'Sweet Andraste's furry gap cracker," Nate piped up.

"Nathaniel Howe! I can't believe you would divulge that, and here I thought you were a gentleman," Sabrina exclaimed.

"Well, if you hang around the likes of Zev and Oghren long enough, their crass manners wear off on you," Nate replied.

"Sweet Andraste's furry gap cracker, damn that's another good one, and here I thought I had cornered the market on blasphemous swear words," Anders said astounded.

The friendly banter continued deep into the night and as Sabrina was making up her bed roll near the fire, Zev wandered over and sat beside her with a long, narrow package in his hand.

"Do you remember when I left, I told you that I had an important Crow lead that I needed to follow up on?"

Sabrina nodded so he continued. "Well, through some very unsavory explorations, I was able to retrieve this for its rightful owner," Zev said as he handed her the package.

Sabrina quickly unwrapped it and stared dumbfounded at the sword that she'd had commissioned for Tristen. As she pulled Vigilance from its sheath the vibration sang out and all eyes turned toward her. Tears filled her eyes, "Y-you risked your life for a sword that I had made for my husband?"

"I knew what it meant to you, and I didn't want you to be denied the pleasure of giving it to him," Zev replied.

Sabrina closed her eyes trying to force the tears back, but they flowed down her cheeks despite her best efforts. She threw her arms around Zevran and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Zev... I can't thank you enough."

"Anything for Mia Tesoro Amica," Zev cooed in her ear.

"Is that Vigilance?" Nate asked in awe.

"Yes" Sabrina replied in wonder.

"Wow," Anders murmured.

"What or who is Vigilance?" Mari asked.

"It's a sword forged from the bones and eggs of a dragon that Sabrina had collected during her travels. She had it commissioned as a gift for Tristen, but before she could give it to him, the Crows had stolen it. I can't believe you were able to track it down," Nate replied.

"Well, a sword as beautiful and distinguished as this one, it's hard for it to go unnoticed," Zev said.

"Very impressive work, my friend," Anders commented.

It wasn't often that anyone saw Zev embarrassed, but Sabrina noticed his cheeks turn a deep shade of red and she couldn't help but smile. She rested her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her, and she couldn't help falling into a deep sleep.

Late the following evening the whole group made their way into the estate that Alistair had insisted that she keep, while she remained in Kirkwall. As she went into the living room, she was greeted by her servant, Micha. "My Lady, welcome home."

"Thank you, Micha. My friends are very hungry; could you please ask Cook to fix them something to eat?" Sabrina asked.

"Of course, My Lady, I wanted to inform you that you have a guest," he pointed toward the corner of the living room. Sabrina looked over and from the shadows emerged the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Her eyes widened as she squealed with delight.

"Tristen!" she cried out as she raced across the room, leapt into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. The world just melted away as their lips met and she lost herself as she reconnected with her other half. She devoured the taste of him and her head began to spin as all of her senses soaked him in. He fervently and urgently returned her kiss, as if she were the last drop of water to a man dying of thirst. A soft moan escaped her lips and they abruptly returned to reality as they heard a soft cough behind them.

"Aaah, if someone could just point me in the direction of the dining room," Mari said as both embarrassment and amusement filtered through her voice.

"I told you, the two of them can be very nauseating," Anders groaned.

Sabrina's lips never left her husband's as she lifted one hand and made an obscene gesture. Tristen never even paused or broke his connection with her mouth, as he carried her up the stairs.

"Now _that's_ impressive," Zev chortled as he made his way toward the dining room.  
**A/N – I want to apologize for not replying to everyone's reviews. I have been on vacation and had limited computer time. Your thoughts and comments meant a lot to me so thank you for sharing them. Since I couldn't reply to your reviews I thought I would give a little shout out to those that did post a review. So a big thank you to ****sapphiretoes****, ****RandomWittering**** ,****Jinx1983, CCBug, ****CraftyJ101****, ****Hopelessly-Devoted 1217**** , ****and ****Raven Jadewolfe for yummy reviews****.**** Also, ****a big thanks to everyone that has added this story to their favs and alert lists. I appreciate you following my little story.**

***I hope that you enjoyed the Sabrina and Tristen reunion as much as I enjoyed writing it. This chapter wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying without the wonderful beta magic of the Beta Goddesses ****RandomWittering**** and ****Jinx1983. ****So t****hank you to the ****charming ****ladies that make me look like I have a firm grasp of the English language. ****Mwahahaha, we have them all fooled. ****Seriously, you two are the best. Thank you for your support, your friendship and all the laughter. **

***I also wanted to give a quick shout out to few writers that I have enjoyed getting to know better and who I now consider a friend. I've enjoyed our talks and email exchanges. Your thoughts and opinions ****mean**** a lot to me. So Warrose, CCBug, ****Kira Tamarion ****and ****megglesnake****, you lovely ladies rock!**


	6. Chapter 6 Fuckin' Perfect

**Chapter 6**

"Made a wrong turn, once or twice, dug my way out, blood and fire  
Bad decisions, that's alright, welcome to my silly life  
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down  
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than fuckin' perfect  
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong change the voices in your head,

Make them like you instead, so complicated, look happy, you'll make it!

Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game, it's enough!

I've done all I can think of chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

_Fuckin' Perfect by Pink_

Mari stifled a scream that was about to tear from her throat as she woke from the nightmare in the middle of the night. Her body was shivering from the cold sweat that had saturated her. She reached for Anders, but found his side of the bed empty. She laid back and rested her head as she recalled her nightmare. Rocks, debris and fire had been raining down on her, smoke filling the air. There were deafening screams of panic and fear as the crowd scrambled for cover, from the falling wreckage of a building she couldn't quite make out. Anders was on his knees before her, his back to her. She looked anxiously over at Sabrina who gave her a curt nod. Mari took a deep breath and she drove her dagger into his back, finding her way expertly between his ribs. She could clearly remember the resistance to her blade as it sliced through his tender skin and forced it all the way to his heart. She could still feel the warmth of his blood as it poured out over her hand and began to paint the cobblestones red. He had slowly slumped to his side as a puddle of his own blood formed around him. Mari knelt beside him, her tears splashing down as she stroked his cheek and mournfully watched the life drain from his honey brown eyes. Even now the memory of the dream pierced her heart and caused an aching moan to escape her lips.

Was this just a random dream or a vision… a warning? But a warning for what? The dream held no details except those of Anders' death. Those fine points she recalled with vivid clarity, but for the life of her she couldn't understand what would have driven her to kill the man she loved. Even if he had betrayed her somehow, that would not give her cause to kill him… she might want to hurt him… a lot, but not take his life. The thought of taking the life of the man she loved; the man that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, that she would die to protect, made her feel dirty. She slid out of bed, walked over to the water basin and splashed her face with the cool water. She needed some air to help clear the troubling thoughts from her mind. She slipped on a thin robe, poured herself a glass of brandy and stepped out onto the balcony as the chilly fall air blew gently through her hair.

She took a sip of the brandy and smiled at the newly acquired taste. Sabrina had a fondness for fine brandy, which Mari had also developed during their numerous late night talks over the past several months. Mari had come to consider Sabrina a close friend and confidant. She had watched closely as Sabrina tirelessly searched for a solution to Anders' problem, observed intently as the Commander debated fiercely with Justice; never once did her convictions nor her resolve to save her friend ever falter, even when the spirit became enraged at her. The Warden was the most loyal and dedicated friend she had ever met, and Mari trusted Sabrina like she had never trusted anyone before. If anyone could save Anders, she could, but what if Anders didn't _want_ to be saved. Anders had once posed the question, '_What if I'm not worthy of being saved?'_The uncertainty and doubt in that simple query still struck fear in Mari's heart.

What could Anders have done or be contemplating doing, that would make him think he was not worthy of being rescued. His behavior recently had been so erratic and his moods were unpredictable. One moment he was the warm, tenderhearted man that she loved and then in the blink of an eye he was the cold calculating spirit that resented and disliked her because Anders loved her; because Anders drew strength from her, to keep Justice at bay. But lately it seemed her love wasn't enough and Justice was making more and more appearances.

The most disturbing part was that the spirit's rhetoric had taken on a more proactive tone as he argued that only severe action would change the embedded perceptions of a society. Both Sabrina and Mari had adamantly fought with Justice that violence would only lead to more violence. One night the disagreement had become so heated that Justice had slammed Mari up against the wall and drew his dagger on her. Sabrina jumped onto the mage's back in a flash and pressed her dagger to Anders' throat as she hissed, "Drop the blade or I will slice your throat open."

"You would never harm my host, Commander. You love him too much. That is your weakness as a leader. You allow yourself to feel for those you lead," Justice replied coolly.

"I have no problem killing an abomination, even if it means killing my dear friend in the process. I can't let you live Justice, if you are the threat that I believe you are becoming. I won't allow innocent lives to be placed at risk over your unjustified need for vengeance. Now. Drop. Your. Blade. Or I will permanently liberate you from your host," Sabrina hissed.

Justice had released the weapon and as it clattered to the floor, Mari saw the shift in her lover's eyes and Anders was back in control. He leaned into Mari, buried his face against her neck and cried as he apologized over and over again. Sabrina had quietly excused herself so that Mari could privately deal with the aftermath. She knew as hard as Anders fought, he was beginning to lose the battle that was waging between himself and Justice. It was only a matter of time before he no longer had the strength to fight him, and then the man that she loved would disappear forever.

A cool breeze blew again, this time sending a chill through Mari's body. She took another sip of brandy and headed back into her room. She stared at the empty bed and wondered where Anders was. She opened her door and stepped out into the foyer. She noticed a light coming from her study and she eased her way quietly down the stairs. The door to the study was ajar and Mari could see Anders pacing the room in an intense silent debate with himself and presumably Justice. Fear ran through her as she watched in horror while Anders lips moved fiercely as the muted war waged between the two.

**XxXxx**

Anders jolted awake from a nightmare. He was shaking uncontrollably as he tried to recall the dream, but the memory evaded him. He heard Mari's soft rhythmic breathing and it comforted and calmed him. He slid up behind her and draped his arm over her. She was his sanctuary, the one person that could offer him complete solace and calm the battle that was violently raging within him. He gently ran his hand over her thigh. He loved the feel of her silky smooth skin under his fingertips, as he caressed the curve of her hip. He slid his hand across her toned stomach, gently stroking the taut muscles as he thought about all the times that he had kissed and licked a path from her tantalizing breasts down to her soft center. The thought of the taste of her on his lips caused his groin to begin to react. He continued to caress her belly as he thought of all the delicious things he wanted to do to her when he felt the unmistakable presence of another living being. He immediately pulled his hand away and stared at her sleeping form in shock.

It couldn't be… he was a Warden… the taint… he had to be mistaken. He reached back and gently rubbed her tummy again as he reached out magically to examine her… there was no mistaking the quick sweet-sounding cadence of a heartbeat. Surprise, joy, elation, fear and panic all shot through his body at the same time. He silently continued his examination of her. The baby was only about six weeks old, it was healthy and strong as was it's mother. Mari probably hadn't even realized that she was pregnant yet.

Anders sat up in bed and ran his hands through his loose hair. Oh Maker, what I am going to do? I have nothing to offer this child except a life of misery.

"_That's because you're a mage and the life __that this society offers those born with your gifts, is a life of persecution," Justice roared in his head._

Anders stood up, threw on a loose pair of trousers and headed down to the study. Their bedroom was Anders' refuge with Mari, and the one place he worked the hardest to suppress Justice. Anders did not want the spirit anywhere near the place where he allowed himself to be at his most vulnerable and where his most intimate moments with Mari were shared.

He made his way over to the fireplace and placed his hands on the mantle as he tried to absorb all that he had just learned. He was going to be a father… his heart raced with panic, and terror gripped his brain as he thought about the world this child would be born into. The chances of this baby being a mage were great and the thought of his child coming into a world that would hate them just because of an accident of birth frustrated him.

He walked over to the bar and poured himself a glass of brandy. He drained his glass, then poured himself another, walking over to the door and staring up the stairs toward their room. He thought of Mari sleeping peacefully as the child they had created together grew stronger in her womb with each passing day. A slight smile spread across his face as he tried to picture their baby. He prayed that their child would have Mari's striking blue eyes and dark black hair. He pictured holding the tiny infant in his arms as the babe peered up at…

"_This is not a joyous occasion!" Justice screamed._

The moment of joy that he had felt about being a father, the elation that Mari carried a child that had been conceived out of love immediately evaporated at the indignation in Justice's voice.

"_This child has a greater chance of being a mage than most. She will give bir__th to a child that will be hunted because of an accident of birth. Can't you see now, that you must act? You must change the world in which your child will be born into and you must do it now, Anders!" Justice bellowed._

"No! Not the way you're suggesting. It's not right. Innocent people will die," Anders countered.

"_And how much blood of innocent mages needs to be spilled before you see that I am right?" Justice asked._

"Sabrina was right, Justice, the end does not justify the means. Taking the lives of innocent people would make us just as bad as they are," Anders argued. Justice was strong tonight as his fury at the news of a child fueled his outrage. Anders paced around the room desperately trying to keep a hold on Justice, but losing the battle with each passing minute.

"_Anders, I know the mistreatment of mages is maddening and frustrating to you. So think about that same treatment being levied against your son or daughter. Think about the templars hunting them down, stealing them from you a__nd locking them in the tower. Is that what you want?" _

Tears began to form in Anders' eyes as he thought about his son or daughter, growing up in constant fear, never having a normal life because they would always be on the run, always looking over their shoulder. If he was a strong man, a brave man, he would leave Mari now before she even knew she carried his child. It would be hard on her at first, but she was strong, she was a survivor and she would learn to live without him. But he wasn't a strong, brave man; he was weak and any strength he had, he drew from her. As long as his lungs drew breath he didn't have the will to walk away from her. He needed her to survive, just as much as he needed air to live.

"_She is more than a distraction. She has__ caused you to lose your focus. __**This **__love that you have for her makes you weak and pathetic. She stands in the way of our ultimate goal. If you can't see that, then maybe the diversion needs to be eliminated," Justice suggested. _

Anger boiled up inside Anders as he hissed, "If you so much as touch a hair on her head, I will end my own life taking you with me."

_A crazy laugh tore from his throat. "You don't have the balls to kill yourself Anders and we both know it. If you don't want any harm to come t__o your precious Mari and the bastard child that she carries, then you need to start coming around to my way of thinking."_

"Don't threaten her or my child again!" Anders exclaimed.

"_What will it take for you to see that great change is only achieved __through great risk, Anders? Will it take the blood of your own child drawn by templars before you act?" The spirit questioned._

"My child's blood will never be drawn by templars," Anders said defiantly.

"_But what if you aren't alive to ensure that does__n't happen? You're an apostate Anders. You could be hunted and killed by the templars at anytime," Justice replied. _

"Mari would protect our child just as she kept her sister safe all her life," Anders countered.

"_And yet her sister still ended up in __the circle. Not to mention that we both know , Mari would lay down her life for you. She would die before she allowed the templars to take you and then __your child would be without both of it's parents. Left alone to fend for itself in a world that hates __them," Justice said calmly. _

Anders shook his head back and forth as he cried out, "No, no, no, no!"

"_Anders you have the opportunity to change the world, to change the mindset of those that live within this world, so that your son or daughter will never__ have to fear a templar, so that your son or daughter can live freely, can fall in love and marry anyone they want. You have the power to free your child from oppression and persecution, but you have to act Anders. You have to take bold, radical steps to__ ensure their freedom. All great revolutions in history started with an idea that was then followed by courageous actions. Freedom comes with a price… a price to be paid on both sides. No one will come out of this unscathed, but a new world will emerge f__rom the rubble. Be the man and the father you were meant to be."_

Anders thought about what Justice had said. He did want a better world for his child. A world that would not judge them because of an accident of birth, a world that didn't treat them as less than human, a world that allowed them to be free to make their own choices in life. That had been his mission when he had invited Justice in and if he had more time to try and change the world's perspective slowly, it would be the route he would want to take, but time was now running out and things needed to fundamentally change and quickly.

_Anders felt his lips curl into a triumphant smile. He had won. He had forced him to see things his way and not long from now the world would never be the same an__d vengeance would be served. _

**xxXxx**  
Sabrina sat at her desk reviewing the latest reports from Vigil's Keep. The Arling was running very efficiently under Varel's supervision, although he did report that ever since Oghren had been in charge of the Wardens, the cost of ale and brandy had increased dramatically. Sabrina's brow furrowed when she looked at the outrageous amount that was spent on alcohol in the last month. That damn dwarf was going to drink them out of house and home if someone didn't get him under control.

"You know you drive me crazy when you furrow your brow like that. It makes me want to kiss you from head to toe, to make that look melt away," Tristen said as he shot his sinfully wicked grin at her.

Sabrina smiled back at her husband. She had never been more ecstatic to see someone than when she had arrived back at the estate that night, two months ago, and saw Tristen emerge from the shadows. Her smile grew even wider as she thought about all the wonderfully naughty things that they had done to each other as they reacquainted themselves with the each other's bodies.

"Well, I take it from the grin on your face that you like the idea, my Lady," Tristen purred.

"My Lord, let me tell you where you can put those luscious lips of yours…"

"Bree!" Mari shouted as she ran into the room. She glanced around and saw Tristen leaning against the fireplace. Mari smiled weakly at both of them. "I'm sorry to barge in here like this, but I'm losing him Bree! He's fighting, but he is losing the battle. You have to find a way to save Anders while he is still there…before Justice completely takes over."

"Mari, what happened?" Tristen asked as he gestured for her to take a seat in front of the fireplace.

Mari sat down and both Sabrina and Tristen joined her. Mari let out a long sigh and then told them about the silent argument that she had witnessed between Anders and Justice the night before. Sabrina felt an alarm begin to ring loudly in her head. Mari was right; Anders was rapidly losing control of the tenuous grasp that he had on Justice. The spirit was becoming stronger and more powerful with each passing day and Sabrina knew they didn't have a lot of time before Justice completely took over. She would have to move up her timeline, but that was okay; she was ready. Over the past seven months, since she had arrived in Kirkwall, she had been pouring over every Warden, Chantry and Circle tome she could get her hands on about spirit possession. Ironically, it was Wynne that had sent her the answers that she sought, but the wise old mage had cautioned her that this path was extremely dangerous and that Anders still might not make it through alive. It was a risk that Sabrina was going to have to take. It was the only solution that she had been able to find. She was going to have to trust that both Zev and Kaylessa were expertly skilled in their crafts and would apply their wealth of knowledge to saving their friend and brother.

"Mari, I believe that I have found a solution. If it works, Anders will be free of Justice… forever," Sabrina said.

"And if it doesn't work?" Mari asked.

Sabrina looked at Mari compassionately. "Anders will still be free, but not in this world."

Mari's eyes widened. "You mean this could k-kill him."

"Yes it could, but Mari you know that I love Anders like a brother and that I wouldn't needlessly place his life in danger unless I thought this was the best solution…the only solution," Sabrina said calmly.

Mari stared at the two of them for a long time and then said, "Anders thought he found a way to separate the two of them. We just completed a mission for the two ingredients that he needed to make the potion."

Both Sabrina and Tristen raised an eye brow in disbelief. In all of her research, the separation of a spirit from it's host was a complicated procedure; not something that could be easily rectified with drinking a potion.

"What are the two ingredients?" Tristen asked.

"Sela petrae and drakestone," Mari replied.

Just then a sharp knock came at the door and Dworkin Glavanok, the Warden explosive expert they had just brought out of hiding, stuck his head inside the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Commander, but I was just passing by when I heard someone mention sela petrae and drakestone being used for a potion."

"It's okay Dworkin. You're not interrupting. Mari was mentioning that Anders was looking for those ingredients for a potion that he was working on," Sabrina explained.

"Well, I'm no mage… I guess that's obvious since I'm a dwarf," the dwarf said as he let out chuckle before he continued. "Anyway, if Anders is mixing sela petrae and drakestone together it couldn't be for a potion; at least not one that you would want to drink. Those two ingredients when mixed properly are highly explosive and with enough of it in a concentrated form, you could blow the ale out of a paragon's arse."

All three of them stared at the dwarf in stunned silence for a few minutes. Sabrina noticed Mari's hands beginning to shake and she could tell the young champion was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. She turned to the dwarf, "Thank you Dworkin. I appreciate you telling us that. It is very useful information."

"Anytime, Commander," the dwarf said as he disappeared out the door.

The moment that Dworkin was out of earshot, Mari sprung to her feet and began to pace. "I knew it!" She cried out. "I knew he was up to something… that he was lying to me! When I pressed him on it he spun it around, as if it were my fault, as if I didn't love him enough. Damn him!"

"Mari, I can understand you're upset, but you need to remain calm. Anders hasn't done anything yet, and we still have the ritual that Sabrina mentioned. We can save him before he does something drastic," Tristen said evenly, as he tried to reassure her.

"He lied to me, Tristen! He used me. He played on my needs and desire to cure him as a way to get me to help him with whatever he is planning. How many nights has he lain beside me while I was asleep, scheming and plotting? H-he used my love for h-him," Mari said as her voice broke.

Sabrina was on her feet as she quickly slid her arms around her friend. "Anders didn't use you. Justice did! You need to remember that. It wasn't the man you love that used you; it was a spirit that has been corrupted by anger and hatred. We need to move quickly now that we know he is planning something. Can you bring him here tomorrow night?" Sabrina asked.

Mari nodded mutely. "If he resists, you tell him I ordered him to come. I don't think even Justice would defy a direct order from his commanding officer. Try to have him here by seven."

Mari nodded again, "Okay. I guess one way or another, this nightmare will be over by this time tomorrow night."

Sabrina smiled reassuringly at her and nodded. "Yes, it will."

"Thank you, Bree," Mari said as she hugged the Commander. "I appreciate everything you have done to try and save him. It's in the Maker's hands now."

"Have faith, Mari, it's going to work out… somehow. I promise," Sabrina said and she hugged her friend one last time before Mari headed home to the man she didn't know or trust anymore.

**A/N – A very special thank you to the awesome Beta Goddess, ****RandomWittering**** for her fantabulous editing skills; thank you for always making me look good. Hugs and kisses for all that you do for me. You rock!**

***Thank you to everyone that has ****added this story to their alert ****and favs list. I also want to thank everyone that took the time to review. I love hearing your thoughts and I hope that you will continue to share them with me...when FanFiction will let you.**


	7. Chapter 7 Broken

**Chapter 7**

"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing, with a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain, there is healing, in your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

_Broken by Lifehouse_

Anders was standing in front of the fireplace when he heard Bodahn greet Mari as she came in the front door. A few minutes later he heard the soft sound of her steps as she made her way up to their room. After tomorrow everything would be different, their lives would never be the same. A part of him was glad and anticipated the change while the other part of him was completely disgusted by what he and Justice were about to do. Tonight, however, everything in the world was as it should be and he wanted to enjoy one last night with the woman that he loved, while she still saw him as her Anders and not a monster.

He quietly made his way upstairs. He entered their room, but stood in the shadows as he watched Mari gracefully undress. She had the most magnificent body; very toned and firm and he knew every luscious inch of her so well. She took off her breast band and was about to slide on a nightshirt when he eased up behind her and took the shirt from her hand. She looked up at him in surprise.

He smiled at her. "It would be a crime to cover up such perfection."

She smiled hesitantly at him. "Is it just _you_ tonight?"

Her question wounded him, but he knew that lately he had given her reason to doubt him. "Yes Love, it's just me," he whispered as he gently pulled her against his chest. He felt solace in the warmth of her skin and softness of her caress. He tangled his hands in her hair until they reached the nape of her neck and he gently forced her to look up at him. He gazed into her beautiful eyes, "You have to believe me when I tell you I would never allow him to enter this room and be with you the way I'm about to be with you. Even if it drains me of my last drop of strength, he will never be here when I am with you like this."

Before she could answer his mouth captured hers and his tongue ran lightly over her lower lip as he sought entrance. He felt her hesitate for a moment, but then she granted his request and he deepened the kiss as their tongues danced together. She ran her hand up his back and the feel of her delicate touch sent electrical shocks coursing through him. He pulled her closer to him as he ravished her mouth, he drank from her, taking all that she had to give and then taking even more. He needed her…not just physically although his body needed her desperately, but he needed her to be his rock, to be his strength and hopefully his salvation.

The feel of her pressed against him forced him to forget about the outside world and all of its chaos. All that mattered was Mari, and he lost himself in the scent of her body, in the taste of her delicious lips and her loving touch.

He pulled away from her briefly as he scooped her up and into his arms; her eyes met his as he carried her to the bed. He laid her in the center, then hovered over her as he pulled his shirt over his head. She leaned forward and slid her hand down his chiseled stomach then she frantically began to pull at the laces on his pants. He laughed a little at her eagerness as he stood and quickly removed his trousers. He stared down at her as he memorized every line, every curve of her flawless body. The moonlight from the window gleamed over her and he was spellbound in the splendor that was Mari…his Mari.

Smiling enticingly, Mari laid back on the bed as she gave him another moment to admire her, then crocked a finger at him beckoning him to her. He ran a hand gently up her leg as he stretched out beside her. One of the many things that he had grown to love about her was the way her body arched into his hands as they slowly moved over her stomach to her breasts as if her body was begging for more contact. _Oh Mari, I don't deserve you._

"Oh, my love," he moaned as he lowered his lips to her delectable skin. He kissed her slowly, teasingly, as he tasted every inch of her; allowing his tongue to run over her, exploring her. The feel of her, the heat rising from her ran through him, inundating his senses and his mind, his body ached with want and need. His tongue tingled as he traced every line, every curve. He found her nipples and pulled them into his mouth, one at a time, softly sucking as she panted and writhed under him. Her hips arched forward seeking more from him. His hand wandered over her curves, across her thigh and slid between her legs. His hand skimmed over her downy mound just before his fingers slipped through her wet folds and thrust into her. She gasped as she cried out his name. The ache in his body echoed hers as a growl rumbled in his chest.

"Maker, I want you so badly it hurts," he moaned against her throat.

"I'm all yours, love," she mewed as his thumb caressed the taut nub of nerves causing her to cry out again.

He kissed his way from her neck to her mouth, her lips immediately seeking out his. Her tongue soft and sweet, urgently pressed into his mouth filling him with the burning need to feel her warm, silky lips on him…everywhere. Tonight, however, was about her.

He drew his lips down her neck, his tongue licked the hollow of her throat and she moaned out his name. "Ah, Mari, you are so beautiful," he sighed as his lips trailed a path down to her perfect breasts. She arched her back, pressing her supple mounds against his lips. Once again, Anders took her into his mouth, he laved and massaged the nipple with his tongue while his fingers stroked, caressed and pinched the other. She was delicious and Anders lost himself in the sweetness and warmth of her skin. Mari's head fell back, her mouth opened as she gasped and panted with each stroke and caress.

He moved his lips down her body, licking along the underside of her breasts to her ribs, down her stomach. He paused as he kissed her navel and said a silent hello to his child growing inside her. He indulged himself in the taste, smell and feel of her as he worked his way down between her legs. His hand brushed the soft curls, his fingers skimming the edges of her folds. Mari shivered in anticipation. Anders looked up at her and smiled. Her cheeks were flushed, her breath was ragged and he knew her heart was racing. He loved seeing her like this, wanting…needing his touch…eager for him to bring satisfaction. Desire and need coursed to his groin and a groan escaped his lips as his own need became almost painful.

His fingers grazed her tender nub as he slowly slid a finger into her wet center. _Oh Maker…_Anders melted again as her warmth sent his mind spinning, his body aching, the need to be in her pulsing deep within him.

Anders dropped his head between her legs, his lips grazing over her before his tongue parted her and tasted the sweetness of her desire. He licked, tasted and devoured her and he felt her body tense and he brought her to the brink several times, but withdrew just before she slipped over the edge. She cursed at him and he smiled as he sucked her bud into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue, her breath ragged, hectic. Anders' tongue slid down the length of her folds and he hovered just outside her entrance, he teased her just a little longer before he finally plunged his tongue into her swollen flesh. Mari cried out as her hips pressed into him, her hands sliding into his hair locking him to her. He slowly withdrew and then thrust inside again and he delighted in her moans and cries of pleasure. He slid his tongue out and replaced it with his fingers. His mouth covered her taut nub as his fingers pushed deep inside. Her warm center was slick with desire as his fingers increased in pressure and speed. Her legs trembled and shook as his tongue mercilessly licked her and his fingers moved unrelentingly in and out of her. Mari cried out, her body taut as the pleasure built up until she finally screamed out his name as a tremor violently shook her.

Not giving her time to recover, in one quick movement Anders moved to his knees, pulled her hips to him and sank deep into her. Shock wave after shock wave rocked his body as her heat and wetness enraptured him. Still grasping her hips, he withdrew and plunged into her depths again. He withdrew once more then buried himself to the hilt and her second release was almost instantaneous, ripping through her whole body as she convulsed around him. It took everything he had not to slip over the edge with her. Once he had gained control, he slowly began to move inside her again, gradually picking up the tempo. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist bringing him even deeper into her. _Maker, what did I do to deserve such an incredible woman?_

Her fingers dug into his back as she clung to him. He pulled back and looked down into the face that he knew so well. He relished seeing her like this…so open, so vulnerable. Something she never allowed anyone else to see. Her raven tresses spread out over the bed and around her face. _Maker he loved this __woman._

She smiled up at him as she reached up to entwine her fingers in his hair and pull him to her. Her lips captured his as she passionately yet lovingly kissed him. Holding him tightly to her she rolled him onto his back with a grace only she could possess. He gripped her hips as she began to rock against him. He watched as she tilted her head back, her hair flowing down her back as her hands ran over his chest. Her breathing was ragged and strained as she rode against him. He reached down between them, caressing her nub as magic flowed from his fingertips sending tiny pulsating jolts through her body.

"ANDERS!" She screamed. Never had he heard a sound more perfect or more joyous. Her body convulsed and tightened around him. This time he didn't hold back and he allowed her to carry him over the edge. His body trembled as the waves of ecstasy crashed hard and raged through him, blurring his vision. When his senses finally returned, he pulled her down to him and wrapped his arms tightly around her as they both tried to catch their breath. She kissed his throat as she murmured, "I love you Anders… with all of my heart."

He pressed his lips to the top of her forehead. "I love you more than you could ever know. You have never lost faith in me, even when you had every reason to turn away from me. Mari, you are the most important thing in my life. I would do anything… anything to make this world a better place for you. No matter what happens please know that, please hold onto that."

"Anders…"

He interrupted her as his lips pressed against hers. "No more talking, my love," he whispered as he claimed her as his, one last time.

The following morning Anders stood by their bed and stared down at her sleeping form. She was so beautiful as she slept so peacefully. His heart ached at the thought that this might be the last time for a very long time that she would be able to sleep so restfully. He knew today would be the day that he broke her heart and destroyed whatever possible future they had together. He also knew that today might be the day she was forced to support his execution. He couldn't blame her if she did. She held political power in this city, she was respected and revered and there would be a loud outcry from the people for justice and vengeance, with him as the focal point of their rage. This time her title and all of her accomplishments would not protect him from the demands of the people. She would be forced to execute him to satisfy the need for revenge or else she would lose everything and he refused to allow that to happen.

She stirred in her sleep as he gently sat down beside her and tenderly caressed her stomach. He had not told her that she was carrying their child. She would find out soon enough. He knew that she had some very tough decisions to make today and that information would only influence her decision…a decision she needed to make logically and rationally.

He leaned down and lovingly kissed her belly. _Good-bye little one. It breaks my heart to kno__w that I will never meet you; to never hold you or feel your tiny fingers curl around mine, but please know that I deeply and profoundly love you already. I pray that I am leaving you a world that will be free of hatred and fear and that if you are a mage__, that you will be allowed to choose the life you want._

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. He stood up, wiped the tears from his eyes and headed to the clinic to wait for the events of the day to unfold.

**xxXxx**

Tristen, Nate and Zev sat with Sabrina in her office, going over the details for their exploration back into the Deep Roads, when a messenger burst in.

"Forgive the intrusion, Commander, but an urgent message was just delivered for you," the young elf said as he handed her a note. She gave the messenger a few pieces of silver and quickly opened the parchment.

_Bree,_

_I just received a pleading message from First Enchanter Orsino requesting my aid. Meredith has finally slipped over the edge and is an Archdemon short of a Blight. She ha__s accused Orsino of harboring blood mages and now she wants to lock down the tower and search it from top to bottom. They are heading to the Chantry to bring the matter before the Grand Cleric. Thank the Maker that Anders had already left for the clinic w__hen I received this message. I know that the Wardens try to remain politically neutral, but I have grave concerns if Anders hears about this and comes to investigate. This is the type of confrontation that could send him over the edge. Can you please me__et me outside the Chantry as soon as possible?_

_Thank you,_  
_Mari_

Sabrina stood up as she handed the note to Tristen. She looked over at Zev and Nate, "Mari is expecting trouble at the Chantry. She is concerned Anders will show up and incite conflict, she has asked us to assist if he does appear." She paused as she calculated something. "I don't like this. I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't feel right. Zev, get Kaylessa and both of you come prepared for the ritual. I also want to bring Gabe, as an ex-templar he may be able to help reduce the tension."

They all nodded and left to get ready except for Tristen.

Once they were alone he gently pulled her into his arms. "Brin, I don't like this. This city is a hot bed of political unrest. As Wardens we need to remain as far away from political turmoil as possible, but as the Hero of Ferelden and a Noble this is extremely dangerous for you. You're on foreign soil, I'm very worried about you."

"Trust me, I know and understand your concerns, Love. As much as I dislike the templars I am not stepping into this nightmare. I am only there for Anders. I agree with Mari, as unstable as he has been lately, this is the exact thing that could set him off. I want to be prepared to bring him in as a Warden if we must," Sabrina replied. Then she leaned in and passionately kissed him. "Your concern for my safety is a real turn on."

Tristen laughed. "Well then you should be turned on all the time because you have me in a constant state of anxiety for your well being."

Sabrina slid her hand down his back to his firm bottom. She grasped it as she purred, "How do you know I'm not?"

Tristen's wicked, sexy grin spread across his face as his lips grazed her ear sending shivers down her spine. "Well, that's good to know and I plan on taking full advantage of it when we get back," he whispered just before his lips eagerly reclaimed hers.

Sabrina's estate was only steps away from the Chantry and fifteen minutes later the Wardens were making their way up the Chantry courtyard steps. The ground bucked and rocked when a loud explosion muted all other sounds. They all looked up as a large pillar of red fire soared into the sky; it twisted and swirled for several minutes before it exploded outward and they ran for cover as molten rock and debris rained down on them.

"Holy shit, were they keeping an Archdemon locked up in there?" Zev asked.

"I was thinking the exact same thing," Sabrina replied dryly as they all raced up to the Chantry courtyard, once the skies were relatively clear again.

She skidded to a stop when she saw Anders yelling at Orsino. "I removed the chance of compromise because there _is_no compromise. The world we live in must change; their views of us must be altered. We have the right to be free, to live, to love, to work as free men and women. But freedom, Orsino, comes with a price and that levy is being paid today. No one will come out of this untouched, but a new world will emerge… a better world for future mages." Anders then banged his staff on the ground as if it were a gavel.

"The Grand Cleric has been murdered by magic, the Chantry destroyed. I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment. Every mage in the circle is to be executed. Immediately!" Meredith commanded.

From behind her both Kaylessa and Gabriel gasped. "She can't do that," Kaylessa cried out.

"Commander, we have to help them," Gabriel declared.

"Our first priority is Anders," Sabrina stated.

"But h-he just murdered all of those innocent people," Gabriel retorted.

"He is a Grey Warden, Gabriel, and we will deal with him our own way. He is not himself and he didn't act alone. We stick to the plan. Zev, I need you blend into the shadows and get that potion to Anders undetected. Make sure he drinks all of it." Zev nodded and then melted from sight.

She turned to Kaylessa, "How long do we have before it's impossible to bring him back?"

"Fifteen minutes at the most. I wouldn't trust bringing him back after that," Kaylessa said.

"Then we will have to move very quickly to get him back to my house," Sabrina said and they all nodded in agreement.

Sabrina's attention was drawn back to the chaos that was taking place around the courtyard. "I will leave your friend for you to deal with," Orsino said before he headed off toward the Gallows.

Mari walked over to Anders. He looked up at her with such a forlorn look it broke Sabrina's heart. "Mari... there isn't anything you can possibly say, that I haven't said to myself a thousand times."

"How could you let him win?" She asked hopelessly.

"I-I tried to fight him for as long as I could… but things changed, I changed. Mari, I knew the world needed to change too. I took a spirit into my soul and altered myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice that all mages deserve," Anders muttered.

"Anders, why couldn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me?" Mari pleaded.

"I wanted to, Mari. Every night that I held you in my arms I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you involved. I couldn't do that to you, but the world needs to see this. They need to see the damage that their fears and prejudices bring, " Anders replied.

"But don't you see, I'm still involved Anders! Everyone knows that we are lovers and that you live with me. They will assume that I helped you. They will believe that I murdered all those innocent people to further the cause of my lover. Did you even stop to consider what this would do to me or am I just one of your causalities of war," she spat at him.

"I'm sorry, Mari. I never meant to cause you any harm, but I did what needed to be done. If I pay for that with my life, then so be it," Anders said.

"Anders must die!" Sebastian bellowed from behind them. "He caused the brutal death of an innocent woman. Someone who knew you Mari, who trusted you; you can not let this abomination walk free. Either he dies, or I will return with such an army that there will be nothing left of Kirkwall."

A loud cheer went up from the crowd that had gathered and several onlookers began to chant "Kill the Mage". Sabrina watched as Mari rubbed her temples trying ease the pain. How many times had she done that exact same thing?

Sabrina stepped into the courtyard and everyone turned to look at her. Sabrina looked into Mari's eyes and she saw that they were etched with pain, shock and fear. She ran over to Sabrina and shook her head. "We are too late. He can't be saved and even if I wanted to, I don't think this mob would let me."

Sabrina took Mari's hand and looked directly into her eyes, "Give the crowd the justice they are demanding. Kill him."

"What?" Mari exclaimed.

"We are ready to perform the ritual. If you take his life, it will take the suspicion off of you, it will meet the mob's need for revenge and it will allow me to get Anders safely out of the city. Trust me Mari, I won't let him die."

Mari looked over at Anders sitting on the block of debris. He had his head in his hands as he tried to conceal the potion bottle that he was taking small sips from. "What is he drinking?"

"Zev is a potions master. He created a potion with Kaylessa that will make it easier to revive Anders through a resurrection spell," Sabrina replied.

"How does it work?" Mari asked.

"It will preserve his body and enough blood to give us enough time to get him away, to resurrect him without brain damage."

"Bree, if this were anyone else I would tell them to go to hell, but I know you would never purposely harm Anders. So what do you need me to do?"

"Hand me your dagger," Sabrina said. Mari did so as Tristen poured a silver liquid into Sabrina's hand. Sabrina coated the blade with the liquid and then handed it back to Mari. "That will ease the pain of the blade entering him. It will still hurt, but not nearly as bad."

Mari looked at the dagger and then back at Sabrina. "I dreamt of this."

"What?" Sabrina questioned.

"I dreamt of this very moment. In my dream I was forced to k-kill him," Mari said as her voice broke. She looked at Sabrina. "I don't know if I can do this, Bree. How am I supposed to drive this knife into the heart of the man that I love, the father of the child that I am carrying?"

Sabrina's mouth gaped open. "Y-you're pregnant?"

Mari nodded as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't think I have the strength to kill him. Maker help me, but I still love him too much to do this."

"Mari, I could do this for you, but if you are the one to execute him, it will remove the doubt and skepticism that you were involved with this plot," Sabrina said.

"Mari! What is your decision? Will you allow this abomination to live?" Sebastian roared.

Both Mari and Sabrina turned to face the crowd. Sabrina walked over to Anders and knelt before him. "Do you trust me Anders?"

"Of course Commander, with my life," Anders replied.

"Well that's good my friend, because I'm about to ask you give it up briefly for me, but trust me Anders, we will see each other again in this life," Sabrina said cryptically as she stood up.

Mari came up behind Anders. Sabrina noticed the rogue's hand was shaking as she gripped the pommel of the dagger so tightly that her knuckles were white. Her face was conflicted with fear, doubt and heartache. Her wavering gaze fell on Sabrina as if silently begging the Commander to take her place. Sabrina looked compassionately back at the young woman and gave an encouraging nod. Mari closed her eyes as she composed herself. She pushed back the tears that were trying to escape, she drew in a deep breath as she found her inner strength. She leaned over and whispered to Anders, "I-I love you. Please know it is killing me to do this." And with a cry of pain and loss, Mari drove the dagger into his back, finding her way expertly between his ribs and forced it all the way into his heart.

A slight cry escaped his lips as a few drops of blood oozed from his mouth. Anders slid to his knees and fell over onto his side. A wail tore from Mari's throat as she watched Anders collapse to the ground. She stared at the red blood that was now staining her trembling hands. She moved to his side, knelt beside him, and caressed his cheek as she chanted, "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm so sorry it ended like this."

Wanting to give Mari a moment of privacy to mourn her loss, Sabrina stepped to the side and waved Isabela over. "Isabela, when this battle is over, I will send word to Mari that all of the preparations for Anders have been taken care of. By tomorrow morning, I need you to get Mari safely out of the city. A year from today I will have a messenger waiting in a back room at the Randy Stag in Amaranthine. Make sure you have her with you," Sabrina said.

"Why?" Isabela asked.

Sabrina gave a slight smile, "Because not all is as it seems. Please give me your word."

Isabela nodded. "Good, now get her out of here. We need to work," Sabrina ordered.

"Do I at least get to feel the crack of a whip on my arse while I beg for another with that order, Commander?" Isabela asked.

Sabrina raised an eye brow, "I'll do more than crack my whip if you don't get your arse out of here."

"Promises, promises," Isabela chortled. She walked over to Mari and whispered in her ear.

The young rogue gave a curt nodded and got to her feet. She looked over at Sabrina, "Please take care of him."

Sabrina looked at Mari sympathetically and then at the crowd. She spoke in a voice loud enough for all to hear. "He is a Warden and we take care of our own." With that she gave a nod and the Wardens lifted their fallen brother and swiftly made their way toward the estate while Mari and her companions made their way towards the Gallows.

The moment that they entered the estate they eased Anders onto the large dining room table. Kaylessa immediately began casting the resurrection spell. After a few minutes she requested a lyrium potion which Gabe handed to her. She drank it quickly and went back to work. The longer it took, the more nervous Sabrina became and she began to pace around the room.

_Anders sat on a bench in a breathtaking garden. The fragrance from the flowers perme__ated his nose with the sweetest scent he had ever smelled. The birds in the large trees chirped lively at his presence and he noticed for the first time in a very long time how quiet his mind was and how at peace he felt. The tranquility of the silence so__othed him like nothing he had ever experienced before and he smiled with the knowledge that once again his mind and spirit belonged to just him. He breathed a sigh of relief. He ached at the thought of never seeing Mari again, of never meeting his child__, but to have his mind back, to be alone with his thoughts had brought him the sweetest serenity he had ever known. He tilted his head back, his mind cleared of all thoughts and he bathed in the warmth of the sun. If this was heaven then he could get use__d to this. _

"_Anders." a soft, but stern voice said. _

_Anders' head turned and he looked into the pale, ghostly face of Justice. Anders smiled warily, "Justice?"_

_The spirit smiled back at him and sat down beside him on the bench, "Yes, Anders it's me."_

"_Thank the Maker, you are yourself again," Anders replied._

"_Yes. The moment your heart stopped beating I was free from all the anger and hatred, and I returned to the Fade as myself," Justice replied. _

"_I'm so sorry. I never thought my anger would corrup__t you and change you so severely."_

"_Neither of us could have foreseen what would happen. You can't continue to blame yourself Anders, or else the guilt will destroy all that is good in you," Justice stated._

"_Good in me? How can there be any good left i__n me after what I did?" he said sadly and stared at his hands, unable to look at the spirit._

_Justice looked at him for a long moment before he spoke. "Anders, when I was in Kristoff's body I discovered the true nature of love, what it meant to give love a__nd to be loved in return. What you share with Mari is even more powerful than anything I felt through Kristoff. Unfortunately, Vengeance also understood the true nature of love and he used it, used your need to protect Mari and your children to fulfill his__ plan. Blowing up the Chantry was an act of vengeful violence. It was not justice, but I understand your reasons and maybe through this horrific act justice can still be served."_

_Anders eyes snapped up to look directly at the spirit. He barely processed__ anything the spirit said. His mind was hung up on that one word. "Children?"_

_Justice only smiled, but remained silent for a long moment. "I wanted to thank you, Anders for having the courage to free us both."_

"_Well, it isn't like I had much of a choic__e in that," Anders replied. _

"_You could have run, you could have begged for your life, but you didn't. You accepted the consequences of your actions. You remained vigilant when greater, stronger men would have faltered. You knew that this action would co__st you everything, but you remained diligent. Now Anders, if you are the man that I think you are, you must not let this opportunity slip by you. You must finish the work that you started, but now with a fair and just hand that is tempered with mercy!" J__ustice declared._

"_Finish the work I started?" Anders exclaimed incredulously. "I'm not sure if you noticed, Justice, but I'm dead."_

_Justice smiled at him. "For now."_

_Anders cocked an eyebrow. "What in the Maker's blue balls does that mean?"_

_Justice s__tood and Anders followed his lead. "All in due course. Now, my friend, this is where we part. It has been an honor knowing you. Thank you for letting me be a part of you. I know that it wasn't always easy and merging with you has taught me a very valuabl__e lesson. I will never again make the mistake of choosing a living host. Their feelings and beliefs are too ingrained for me to overcome. You must realize and accept that even though things didn't work out as we had planned, you can still make the world __a better place for mages and for your children. You can make a difference, Anders."_

_Anders studied the spirit for a long time then he reached over and hugged him. "Thank you, Justice. You have taught me a lot. Lessons I will always try to follow."_

_The __spirit tentatively hugged him back at first, but then fiercely gripped him. "Your welcome, my friend. Take care of yourself, your children and your beautiful wife." The spirit then pulled away and winked at the stunned mage then turned to head down the g__arden path._

_Anders slumped back down onto the bench, astounded by the revelations that Justice had told him. He rested his head in his hands as he tried to absorb everything. He heard the sound of children's laughter and he thought about the child or chi__ldren he would never meet. Children? Wife? It boggled the mind. He was dead. Didn't Justice understand that? _

_But even though his circumstances didn't look promising he couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting to the children he would never meet. He__ knew they would be in wonderful hands with Mari. She would tenderly love them and ferociously protect them. He tried to picture what they would look like, but he could only conjure up a portrait that he had seen of Mari as a child. She had the sweetest__ face, with soft pink lips, a button nose, her striking blue eyes and raven curly locks that sat on her shoulders. _

"_What are you thinking about?" the voice of a young child asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. _

_He sat up and looked into the beautif__ul face of a young girl. She had blond curly hair and deep blue eyes…eyes that looked remarkably like Mari's; behind her stood a boy about the same age. His features were very similar to the girls so they must be siblings; although he had a head of strai__ght jet black hair, he possessed the same deep blue eyes. _

"_I was just enjoying the warmth of the sun and relaxing in the peacefulness of the garden," Anders replied._

"_But you don't have time to bask in the sun," the young boy said. _

_Anders looked at th__em quizzically. "But I'm dead. I have all the time in the world."_

"_No you don't. You need to head back. You are needed there, you still have much to accomplish," the girl replied. _

"_Who are you?' Anders asked._

"_We are souls that are waiting to be bo__rn. The Book of Light tells us that the Maker knows us before we are even born. Our souls have been here with the Maker, but now that we have been conceived and will be born in time, we are closer to the Veil and can see people transitioning between this__ life and the next. As our time gets closer, we are able to see what is happening in both planes of existence. It's this knowledge that has told us that you must go back, and you need to do it soon," the boy explained. _

"_But it's so peaceful here, there__ is no pain or suffering. I know that those that I love will be fine without me. And honestly, the longer I stay here, the less I can remember about the pain and the loss. I miss those that I left behind less and less; their faces fading with each passing__ second," Anders replied. _

"_Yes we know, that is why you must leave now," the girl urgently insisted. _

"_But I like it here and I don't…"_

"_Daddy, please! We don't want to grow up without you," the girl pleaded._

_Anders eyes widened with the realization__ that he was looking at his children. He reached to scoop them into his arms, but they began to fade away as he was pulled into a dark tunnel and everything went black._

Sabrina continued to pace around the room. Frustrated, she ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

"_Please Maker, please let him live. You can't take him, not now. Anders has to live, he is going to be a father_," _Sabrina silently prayed. _

By Andraste's flaming arse, he was a Grey Warden and he was going to be a father. A bittersweet smile spread across her face. Anders was lucky, he was one of the few Grey Wardens able to father a child after taking the taint into their blood. A spark of jealousy rose up as the pain of never conceiving a child with Tristen, surfaced once again. She wanted to have his child more than anything in this world, but she knew it would never happen. Alistair, the lucky bastard, already had a son and if the rumors were true, Anora was pregnant with their second. And now Anders. Two Wardens who had fathered children with partners that were taint free, and that is why she would never know the joy of handing Tristen his son or daughter to hold. She felt the sting of tears and she pushed them back. She would rather spend the rest of her life childless and be with Tristen, than have a dozen children with another man.

As she walked by Tristen, he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "You have a sad smile on your face and I see the tears in your eyes. It's a very contradictory expression."

"I'll tell you about it later," she whispered back and she began to pull out of his arms, but Tristen held her firmly against him.

"Sorry Love, but you are done pacing. You were making me nervous just watching you." He kissed the side of her neck and whispered, "Children would mean nothing to me, if I didn't have you. It's you Brin, only you matter to me. You're all I need to be happy."

She tilted her head and looked at him, "You heard Mari say she was pregnant?"

Tristen nodded and squeezed her a little tighter. "You're all I want. I only need you to be happy. Without you the rest is pointless."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too. Now stop worrying about Anders and have a little faith in your Warden. She is an excellent mage. If anyone can save him, it's her," Tristen murmured in her ear as they watched Kaylessa drink another lyrium potion.

It seemed like hours later, but in reality only minutes had passed when Kaylessa slumped to the floor completely exhausted, as Anders began to cough and shake. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled as he murmured, "Twins."

**Author Notes – Thank you once again to everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I truly appreciate you taking the time to**** read and review this story. I a****l****ways look forward to reading wonderful ****your thoughts and comments. **

**I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their spankalicious beta-ing skills, for your support and for being such a great sounding board. You ladies are the ****best and I am honored to call you my friends!**


	8. Chapter 8 Cryin'

**Chapter 8**

"I was cryin' when I met you, now I'm tryin' to forget you, your love is sweet misery, I was cryin' just to get you  
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you, do what you do - down on me, now there's not even breathin' room, between pleasure and pain  
Yeah you cry when we're makin' love, must be one and the same

It's down on me, yeah I got to tell you one thing It's been on my mind, girl I gotta say  
We're partners in crime, you got that certain something, what you give to me, takes my breath away  
Now the word out on the street, is the devil's in your kiss, if our love goes up in flames, it's a fire I can't resist"

_Cryin' by Aerosmith_

"Argh, Oghren! That last burp smelled worse than a nug's arse. What the bloody hell have you been eating?" Tess cried out as Oghren wiped his mouth.

"That is the wonderful effect of Anders' cooking," Oghren explained as he let out another loud belch.

Both Tess and Nate waved their hands in front of their faces trying to avoid the stench. "I wouldn't get near an open flame," Nate retorted.

"My cooking has nothing to do with Oghren's intestinal problems. However, that nasty Orzammar ale he consumes could set the Brecilian Forest on fire," Anders said defensively.

"Listen here Sparkle Fingers, my intestines have been immune to Orzammar ale since before I was weaned from my mother's tit. It's your revolting cooking that is tearing up my stomach," Oghren declared.

"I would have to agree with our stout friend on this Anders. I do believe that if you cooked for the men on death row, your cooking skills would put the executioner out of a job," Zev chortled.

"And here I thought warriors and rogues were tough, you're whining like a bunch of chantry sisters," Anders retorted.

"What's left of the Chantry sisters," Oghren said dryly.

Anders just growled at the dwarf, grabbed his backpack and a candle, and went to a corner away from everyone. They had been in the Deep Roads for four months helping Dworkin Glavanok excavate the tunnel that led deeper into the thaig. He couldn't believe that he was back in the sodding Deep Roads again, but Sabrina thought this would be the perfect place to hide the formally possessed revolutionary apostate, now presumed dead and currently being hailed as a martyr by many. If he was the martyr what did that make Mari?

Sabrina had even convinced him to cut his hair short and when in public to keep a clean shaven face so that he would not be so recognizable. She also had changed his name to Sander… Sander! Really? Why didn't she just stick him in a dress, spank his ass and call him Sandy! Maker's hairy balls, his life royally sucked. He had betrayed and been betrayed by the woman he loved, had to pretend that he was dead, had to cut his much loved hair, and once again he was stuck being a Grey Warden, fighting darkspawn in the blighting Deep Roads.

Anders let out a deep sigh as he leaned back against the stone wall and pulled out his journal. He made another slash on the inside cover of the leather bound diary, to help him keep track of the number of days that had passed since he and Justice had blown up the Chantry… it had been seven months, two weeks and five days since that fateful day when everything in his and Mari's world had changed forever. The last time he saw her was right before she had killed him. He had always known that was a real possibility, but the reality of your lover actually driving a dagger through your back was a very disturbing experience. Her last words still echoed in his ears and pierced his heart. "I-I love you. Please know it is killing me to do this." _Humph, hadn't killed her nearly as much as it had killed him!_

He wasn't bitter or at least he tried really hard not to be. He had known that if pushed into a corner that Mari might have to support his execution, but he had never believed in a million years that she would have been the one to do it. How could she have done it? How could she actually plunge the dagger into him? He would have never been able to take her life, the very idea of having her blood on his hands sickened him and the knowledge that she had done the deed without hesitation deeply wounded him.

Had his actions forced her feelings for him to evaporate so quickly that she could execute him with such resolve? Had she ever really truly loved him at all? The thought of Mari never really loving him caused such a severe pain, that he literally clasped his chest from the anguish of the idea. No! He had to believe that she had once loved him… loved him deeply and that it had been his actions that had destroyed that love. However, he still struggled with the knowledge that she had decisively and forcefully taken his life.

Sabrina had tried to explain that it had to be Mari who put him to death. It was the only way to remove all doubt and skepticism that she was involved with his plot. It was because of her actions that she had been able to escape the city without a cloud of suspicion over her head, without templars on her heels. That made sense in theory and if her taking his life eased her passage then maybe it had been worth it, but it did nothing to ease his own sense of betrayal and he struggled daily not to allow that feeling of disloyalty to grow.

So he focused and tried to understand the betrayal that she must be feeling. He understood her feeling betrayed by him for not telling her his plans. He realized that she felt used by helping him acquire the bomb ingredients and gaining access to the Chantry. He knew her so well, and he knew that she would feel personally responsible for the lives that had been lost that day and it would weigh heavily on her. It pained him to think of Mari being eaten up by guilt because of his actions and he ached to hold her, to soothe her conscience and allow her to lay all of the blame at his feet.

Now that Justice was no longer crying out for vengeance in his head the reality of his actions had sunk in and deeply crushed his spirit. The knowledge that he was solely responsible for the deaths of all of those innocent lives sickened him to his very core. He was a healer, it was in his nature to help people, to cure them, not to take their lives. All of those deaths weighed just as heavily on his own soul and the guilt constantly ate at him. The one thing he missed about Justice was that his need for vengeance had numbed Anders to the pain that he was about to inflict. Now without the spirit's rage inside of him to deaden his emotions, the grief and anguish of his actions tortured him.

He heard Sabrina laugh at something that Zevran had said and he looked up at his Commander's smiling face. She had never lost faith in him and when he had heard about her unwavering determination to save him, he had been humbled. She had been the first to tell him that she forgave him and that although she struggled morally with his actions, she realized that he hadn't been in complete control of himself. She went on to say that no amount of forgiveness would erase what he had done, and that someday he may have to pay the price, but that she would protect him for as long as she could. She'd told him that most believed he was dead, and if he didn't go around blowing up any more public buildings then that assumption should hold true.

She had also given him some of the soundest advice he had ever received. Over a very large glass of brandy she had looked him directly in the eyes and said, "Anders, if you are going through hell, you don't stop and wallow in it. You keep pushing forward and as you force yourself to move onward, you will acquire the strength you need to overcome what lies ahead."

Anders had looked at her for a moment and then soberly asked, "Is that what carried you through the death of your family and the Blight?"

She'd nodded solemnly and then drained her glass as she tried to push the bad memories back down.

Anders let out a sigh as he opened his journal to a sketch that he had recently done of Mari and he ran his hands over the page. If his examination had been correct then she should have given birth to the twins by now. The drawing that he lovingly caressed showed how he'd pictured her to look just before she gave birth. No matter how big her belly had grown, he knew she would be beautiful, that she would have had a warm glow about her and that she would be as graceful as ever. He ached to be with her, to have experienced all of the little ups and downs of the pregnancy with her and it tore him to pieces to know that he hadn't been there to deliver his son and daughter. As hurt as he was, he longed to be with her again, to hold her, to hear her laugh, to tell her how much he still loved her and Maker willing to hear her say that despite it all, she still loved him, but Anders knew that was wishful thinking. She could never love him again, not after what he had put her through. He just prayed that she could forgive him enough to allow him to be a part of his children's lives. He turned to a clean page in his journal and began to sketch from his Fade memory, the images of his children. Those precious few seconds that he had spent with them in Fade were now forever ingrained in his mind. He could still hear the lilt in his daughter's voice and the demanding inflection in his son's. He longed to hold them, to tell them how much he loved them.

Anders was pulled out of his deep thoughts as boisterous laughter erupted from the group gathered around the campfire.

"So then the Black Fox jumps out of the tree, onto the nobles back and declares, 'How ridiculously awesome am I? I could have stolen your knickers and your wife and you would have been none the wiser'." Everyone burst into laughter again.

Anders was disappointed that he had missed one of Zev's tales of the Black Fox. He knew that the infamous thief was a hero to the assassin and whenever Zev retold one the Black Fox's famous tales he always put a unique and funny spin on the story.

Anders noticed Tristen give Sabrina a slight nudge and a knowing grin. Sabrina bit her lip. Something he had seen her do hundreds of times when she was trying to suppress a smile. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Zev either.

The rogue assassin cocked an eyebrow at Sabrina, "Mia Tesoro Amica, you are holding something back, I can tell."

Sabrina had a slight smirk on her face, "What makes you think that, Zev?"

"Aaah, my dear Warden we have traveled together for too long for me not to know when you have a secret. I can tell by the way you are biting your lip you're trying not grin. So spill it. What is the secret?" Zev questioned.

Sabrina smiled her wicked grin and asked, "Zev, did you know that several years before Lord Remi Vascal voyaged into the heart of the Arlathan Forest that he had taken on an apprentice. He had so thoroughly trained them that the apprentice seamlessly stepped in and assumed the persona of the Black Fox and the real Fox actually left in search of the Sunken City, years before the rumors of his departure."

"Di ciò che il fotte la sono parlando?" Zev demanded.

"I'm fucking talking about the last five years of the Black Fox's adventures were not Lord Vascal's exploits, but those of his apprentice," Sabrina said smugly.

"But some of his most famous escapades happened right before he journeyed into the Arlathan Forest!" Zev exclaimed.

"Rumor also has it that the Black Fox's apprentice was a woman, which means that the Black Fox was a woman," Sabrina said smugly.

"Questa è una bugia cazzo!" Zev exclaimed.

Sabrina laughed and grinned mischievously at her favorite assassin. "My, my Zev such language."

"You take back your unfounded declaration," Zev demanded.

"Unfounded? Zev when have you ever known me to make an assertion that I couldn't back up?" Sabrina asked.

"There is always a first time for everything," Zev retorted.

"Zev, your best friend is a woman and you have seen her accomplish some of the most amazing things ever seen. If she can literally save the world… several times then why can't you believe that the Black Fox could be a woman," Tess questioned.

"Because…he's not! The Black Fox is a man," Zev replied stubbornly.

"Well Zev, I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. I believe some of the most infamous Black Fox antics were committed by a woman," Sabrina said with a smirk.

"And what are we betting?" Zev asked.

"The loser has to strip completely naked and run around the camp five times while singing the Broma Brothers song," Sabrina replied.

"And how do we determine the winner," Zev asked.

"Undisputable proof needs to be presented," Sabrina said.

Anders leaned forward and smiled as he watched as Zev's face completely drained of color. Bree had masterfully maneuvered the elf into a corner. Sabrina would have never have made conclusive evidence as the criteria unless she had it, which meant that Zev would lose the bet, but everyone in the camp also knew that unless Zev accepted the challenge, that Sabrina wouldn't produce the evidence. So the elf was stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he wanted to see the proof that his hero was a woman he would have to accept and lose the challenge.

Zev began to laugh. "Mia Tesoro Amica, I do believe that I have trained you too well. So let's forgo the formalities. Will you show me the evidence now or must I run my little marathon first?"

"I'll satisfy your curiosity first, my friend then we can all enjoy the show," Sabrina said with a wide grin.

"Oh, cazzo di inferno," Zev moaned.

Sabrina laughed, "I'm bringing out some of your best swear words. Well, shortly after you left to find Vigilance, Fergus found a secret vault in the castle basement that contained several old chests of my mother's. One of the chests held several journals from when my mother was supposed to have been furthering her education in Orlais, but as the journals clearly reveal, she was the Black Fox's apprentice and then stepped into his shoes."

The assassin along with the rest of the group was shocked into silence at the revelation that Eleanor Cousland was the Black Fox. Trying not to gloat Sabrina pulled the journals out of her backpack and handed them to Zev. "I have been meaning to give them to you to read ever since your return, but I have been waiting for the right opportunity. Your adamant refusal to believe that the Black Fox could be a woman was a temptation I just couldn't pass up. So my friend, before you settle for a long night of reading, I do believe you owe us a performance."

Several hoots and whistles were made as Zev stood up and began to undress. As the group further encouraged him, Zev turned getting undressed into quite the striptease act.

"Take it off…take it all off," Nate chuckled.

Once he was completely naked, Zev made an entire show of warming up his muscles and then his vocal cords. The entire group was in tears from laughing as the elf began running around the campfire singing:  
"So grab yourself a bar wench, have a little fun,  
Raise your whiskey or your ale for our song is almost done!  
Lend us your ear and listen to what we've got to say,  
Here's to the Antivan fellow…"

The last time Anders had laughed this much was when he had traveled with Sabrina as a Grey Warden….he hated the darkspawn, the taint and the sodding Deep Roads, but until this very moment he hadn't realized how much he had missed these people.

The following evening the entire group dragged themselves into camp. It had been a long, rough day of fighting darkspawn. The closer that Dworkin and his crew got to breaking through the stone barrier the more aggressive the darkspawn became in their attacks. As they entered the camp they were welcomed by the team that would be relieving them. The replacement team were a sight for sore eyes and Anders had never been more relieved to see anyone in his life. Three months in the blighting Deep Roads was just too damn long.

Kaylessa approached them, hugged each of them as she welcomed them back to camp. She looked each one of them over and smiled when she saw that no one needed healing.

"Doubting my abilities, Kayle?" Anders asked.

"Never Anders, you're the best healer I know, but even the best healers can become drained," Kaylessa replied calmly as she eyed him suspiciously.

Both Gabe and Kaylessa walked over to him and the mage began to examine him. She saw the long cut along his forearm and she shook her head. "You left none of your strength to heal yourself; you know better than that Anders," Kaylessa reprimanded, as the warmth from her healing spell washed over him repairing the wound and mending the skin.

Anders looked around then lowered his voice, "It couldn't be helped. The Commander had taken a nasty blow to the head when a Hurlock attacked her from behind, knocked her unconscious, and started to drag her away. The battle was so heated that no one noticed right away, until Tristen realized that her taint was becoming more and more distant. Both he and Zev took off after her, but when they returned Zev had been gravely injured. It took every bottle of lyrium I had to heal and revive him."

Kaylessa's eyes widened, but it was Gabe that spoke. "So it seems that the fighting has intensified since our last trip down here."

"Yes, the closer Dworkin gets to blowing through that wall the more frequent and violent are the darkspawn attacks. Of course, this only confirms in Sabrina's mind that we are in the right place. So be careful, both of you," Anders said.

They nodded and said in unison, "Always."

"Sigrun!" Oghren bellowed. "Where the bloody hell is the ale you brought to restock the supplies?"

Sigrun gave Oghren a roguish grin, "Have no fear, Oghren, I brought plenty of ale and alcohol, but I have it locked up tight so that you don't try and consume it all in one night. I have the key secured on a chain around my neck for safe keeping."

"By the sodding stone woman, I have no problem reaching down your bosoms to retrieve the bloody key. Do you have any idea the kind of day that we've had?" Oghren hollered.

"Oghren, I don't care if you were close enough to an Archdemon to determine it's sex. You are not getting the key to alcohol chest. I am not about to be down in the sodding Deep Roads for the next three months without ale, all because you don't understand the concept of rationing your supply," Sigrun roared back.

"Rationing ale? Is that some kind of oxymoron? Are you even a dwarf Sigrun, or just a very short person pretending to be a dwarf?" Oghren yelled.

"Yes, I am a dwarf. Are you? Because you look like both an ox and a moron to me," Sigrun retorted and everyone stand near them laughed.

Jean Luc and Marcell, two Wardens from Orlais that had joined the Ferelden Wardens after Anders had left for Kirkwall, strolled up to him, "Is this what the next three months is going to be like with those two?" Jean Luc asked in a heavy accent.

"Nah, with Sigrun in charge, give her a week and she will have put Oghren properly in his place," Anders replied. Both of the Orlesian Wardens chuckled.

"And why is Oghren remaining behind again?" Marcell asked with a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

"With the increased darkspawn activity, Bree thought it was wise to leave an extra fighter here with you. Since Oghren is used to being underground for long periods of time, he was the logical choice," Anders explained.

The Orlesian Wardens raised an eyebrow at Anders for addressing Sabrina so informally, but he was too damn tired to follow protocol. According to Sabrina, Tristen had been thrilled when his Orlesian brothers had joined him in Ferelden, but for the life of him, Anders couldn't figure out what Tristen had in common with these two, other than being members of the same order. Jean Luc and Marcell were friendly enough, they were excellent warriors and bloody useful in a battle, but they both had a slightly pompous, arrogant attitude which royally pissed Sabrina off. When Sabrina had announced that Jean Luc and Marcell would be a part of the relief team and not travel with the Warden Commander, you could visibly see their egos deflate. Both he and Zev had to keep kicking each other under the table so as not to laugh at the humiliated looks on their faces. After the meeting, once Sabrina had headed back to her office, Tristen tried to smooth things over with his Orlesian brothers by explaining that whenever possible, Sabrina only went into the Deep Roads with the companions that she fought with during the Blight or the Architect-Brood Mother war.

Marcell had made some derogatory comment about Sabrina needing to broaden her perspective. To which Tristen had quickly retorted that as the Warden Commander, the Hero of Ferelden and the Arlessa of Amaranthine she had earned the right to take whoever she bloody well wanted, and if they ever wanted to be among the selected few that had the privilege to be led by her, they would learn to shut their mouths so that they could learn a few things. Both Zev and Anders had to bite their tongues to suppress the grins, but the incident confirmed what they both believed… Tristen was nothing like the Orlesian Wardens and it had to have been Fiona's influence that had kept the man humble.

The last member to the relief team was Neria Surana. When Anders had returned to Vigil's Keep with Sabrina, he had been shocked to find that when the Ferelden Circle had fallen, Neria had fled to the Grey Wardens. During his stints in the Circle, Anders had watched Neria grow from a gifted spellcaster to a deadly battlemage. Seeing her again, brought back both pleasant and painful memories.

He had once told Mari that in the Circle love was only a game. He had played that game skillfully and beautifully with Neria. He had taken her virginity and she had taken his pride by dumping him in front of half the Circle, including a Senior Enchanter who then sternly reprimanded him for taking advantage of the innocent girl. _Innocent girl, my arse_! He may have been the first to cross the finish line with her but the girl was not naïve in the ways of pleasing a man. Needless to say, their reunion had not been a joyous occasion. Sabrina had immediately noticed the tension between the two mages and she'd pulled Anders aside and asked for an explanation. He'd explained their past and in typical Sabrina style her only reaction had been a curt nod, but from that point on she'd made sure that the two of them were never sent on the same missions and Sabrina was always present when they practiced in the sparring ring. He gave a nod of acknowledgment when he walked past Neria, to head over to his bedroll.

With the relief squad here, Sabrina said they would be able to head back to Vigil's Keep by the end of the week, thank the Maker for small favors. By the time they returned it would only be three months until the meeting at the Randy Stag. The thought made him nervous and a bit panicky. He wanted to see her, needed to see her, but they had a lot of unresolved things to say to each other. What if he had wounded her so badly that she wanted nothing to do with him and she sent a messenger to basically tell him to fuck off. He didn't think he could truly blame her if she did. Worse, what if she was there? He drew in a deep breath as he imagined her finally confronting him with all of the things she had kept pent up for a year. That could be a truly frightening experience. He felt his hands tremble slightly.

Sabrina sat down beside him and smiled. "Are you ready to return to society, Sander?"

"Argh, do you really have to call me that?" Anders groaned.

"I have to get used to using it, so that I don't slip up and call you by your real name. A name that is now synonymous with a martyred mage," Sabrina replied coolly.

Anders just let out long frustrated sigh. Sabrina clasped his hand in hers. "Sometimes the price that we pay for the decisions that we have made is a very steep one. Changing your name and your appearance is minor compared to what could have been required."

Anders raised an eyebrow and gave her a wry smile. "Oh, so being stabbed in the back by the woman you love and dying on the cold chantry cobblestones wasn't a high enough price?"

She grinned then winked at him, "I brought you back. I held my end of the bargain." She paused for a moment before she continued, "When we get back it won't be long before the one year anniversary of the bombing and your date at the Randy Stag."

Anders was quiet for a moment before he asked, "Do you remember the last time we were in there?"

Sabrina continued to grin, "Yes, if I recall you had quite a thing for Madame Cat… and she had somehow managed to scratch an itch for you."

Anders laughed, "Yes, well she scratched several itches that night. I brought it up because I was thinking how much simpler life was back then and how unbelievably complicated it is now. Do you remember me telling you once that all I wanted was a pretty girl, a decent meal and the right to shoot lightning at fools?"

Sabrina laughed and nodded. "Yes and back then all it took to win your loyalty was the gift of a kitten."

"Well, Sir Pounce-A-Lot was a very special cat given by a very special lady," Anders said as the impish grin that she had missed spread across his face. "I had the pretty girl. I had it all and lost it."

"Well, that's how every good bard story goes; boy meets girl, boy wins girl, boy then fucks up and loses girl," Sabrina said with a smirk.

"Is this supposed to be an uplifting encouraging conversation? Because if so you're not doing a very good job," Anders replied.

"Huh," Sabrina said. She then held up her hand and began to count the points off on her fingers. "Boy meets girl…boy wins girl…boy fucks up…boy loses girl." She held out her thumb as if trying to remember the last point. "Oooh, that's right boy wins girl back."

Anders smiled and shook his head. "I don't think that worked out too well for Alistair."

Sabrina smacked his arm playfully. "Do you have a devilishly handsome scoundrel of a twin running around?"

"Aaah, not that I know of," Anders replied.

"Well, then you're safe, you have nothing to worry about and Mari is yours for the taking," Sabrina said.

"If it was only that easy," Anders replied.

"It is. Do the two of you have some issues that need to be settled? Yes, but Anders, she loves you. If you could have seen the anguish on her face that day…"

"It's hard to see someone's face when they are stabbing you in the back," Anders interrupted bitterly.

Sabrina's face turned solemn, she gently shook her head as she stood up. As she spoke, her voice took on a pained tone. "You said all you wanted was a pretty girl. Well, the Maker not only blessed you with the pretty girl, but with two beautiful children. Now you can continue to wallow in your self pity and bitterness and lose the opportunity to win back what you say you were fighting for, or you can accept the fact that some hard decisions had to be made that day. Decisions that needed to be made logically and rationally, not based on feelings. Decisions that ensured that everyone got out alive! You're alive, Anders! Mari is alive! Your children are alive! And when you see her, you can thank Mari for that!" Before he could reply she spun on her heels and headed over to the little alcove that had been her and Tristen's room.

Anders leaned back against the wall as her words sunk in. They echoed the exact same words that he had told himself that fateful morning. Sabrina was right; Mari did what was necessary to survive, to live so that their children could live and she had entrusted Sabrina to ensure that he did. What a fool he had been to blame her for being the one that made the killing blow? It should have been her and no one else. _Oh Maker, please give me the opportunity to beg for her forgiveness and to somehow make it up to her?_

* * *

**A/N - **** Your Italian lesson for the day - *** Di ciò che il fotte la sono parlando? Is Italian for What the fuck are you talking about?  
* Questa è una bugia cazzo! Is Italian for That is a fucking lie!  
* Oh, cazzo di inferno is Italian for Oh fucking hell

***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

***I want to thank Beta Goddess One, RandomWittering and Beta Goddess Two for their exce****l****lent spankalicious skills and for always making me look good. Both of you lovely ladies rock! A special shout out to Jinx for helping me brainstorm the Black Fox idea. I couldn't have done it without you.  
**


	9. Chapter 9 I wanna do Bad Things

**Chapter 9**

"When you came in the air went out, and all those shadows there filled up with doubt.

I don't know who you think you are, but before the night is through,

I wanna do bad things with you. I wanna do real bad things with you.

I don't know what you've done to me, but I know this much is true:

I wanna do bad things with you. I wanna do real bad things with you."

_I wanna do Bad Things by Jace Everett _

Mari stood at the wash basin, cleaning the dishes from dinner, as she watched Isabela and Teagan spar in the side yard while Chaos, her mabari watched. Teagan was an excellent warrior, but he was no match for the quick and agile rogue. Isabela was a good sport; several times she feigned defeat only to catch her second wind and have the Chancellor back on his heels. Chaos acted as referee and would bark furiously whenever Isabela would cheat. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

They had been in Rainesfere for almost a year and as Sabrina had predicted, the serenity of the Bannorn had brought her troubled spirit some peace, but she knew that it would never find true piece of mind until she saw Anders again.

The morning after the fall of the Chantry a sealed letter had arrived at the estate from Sabrina.

_Dear Mari,_  
_I was glad to hear that you defeated the Knight-Commander and that you lived to tell the tale; one in which I look forward to hearing over a very large glass of Antiva's finest brandy. Now, my friend is the time to move quickly and decisively; even though the execution of Anders will initially remove doubt regarding your involvement in his plan, I believe it would be wise for you to leave Kirkwall as quickly as possible. You need to make haste and put your affairs in order. _

_I have booked passage for you, Isabela and two of your companions on a ship that leaves tomorrow morning for Amaranthine. Once you arrive in port there will be horses already purchased in your name. If you so desire, I have made arrangements for you to stay with Chancellor Teagan at his castle in Rainesfere. It is a quiet town in the Bannorn, you have no real connection to Teagan so no one will think to look for you there. I believe the beauty, peace and tranquility of Rainesfere will be a comfort to you in the upcoming year. I have made arrangements with Isabela to meet you in a year. She can explain the details to you._

_Take care of yourself, my friend and know that you are in my thoughts._

_Warmest wishes,_  
_Bree_

_p.s. Everything went according to plan._

For once, Mari had been truly grateful that someone else had taken the lead and devised a plan of action. After the battle, when they had arrived back at the estate, she had been such an emotional wreck that she would have had trouble formulating a strategy on how to make her way to her chamber pot. Fenris and Varric had made arrangements with Bodahn to secure her finances, pay off any bills and close up the estate. At Mari's insistence, Bodahn offered Orana a year's salary to help the young elf attain a new life, but she absolutely refused the money, and had insisted on accompanying Mari on the journey. Again, Mari was grateful for the elf's loyalty and welcomed having a familiar face travel with her. That left only one of Sabrina's tickets. Given her current condition she felt that it was wise to have a mage accompany her on this long journey so she offered the ticket to Merrill who willingly accepted it. Except for Varric, Merrill had been the most accepting of her and Anders relationship and Mari knew that Merrill wouldn't give her a hard time about the executed apostate nor would she make derogatory comments about him. She emotionally didn't think she could referee another argument regarding Anders without running someone through with her sword. Of course, Varric was disappointed, but he was also aware of her situation and completely understood her reasoning's.

Early the following morning through numerous tears she said farewell to the friends that had been with her through thick and thin the past six years. She would miss each of them terribly and she promised that she would keep in touch. However, only Varric knew where she was headed and he swore to take the secret to his grave. She trusted the dwarf with her life and knew that he would be true to his word. After the farewells, Mari and her small group of companions silently made their way through the passage that led into Darktown, and headed for the docks where they boarded a ship to start a new life.

One month later they arrived in Rainesfere. Teagan had welcomed them as if they were royalty. The Chancellor had wisely assumed that Mari would want as much privacy as possible and had given her the use of a hunting cottage near the edge of his estate. He had also made arrangements with his house servants to bring food and ale to the lodge for Orana to prepare. When Mari offered to pay him for use of the lodge he adamantly refused; stating that not only was it an honor to have the Champion of Kirkwall stay at his estate, but that Sabrina was a dear friend and that he would do anything for her. Mari was grateful for Teagan's generosity and his discretion.

The lengthy, uncomfortable trip had taken its toll on Mari; unable to hold down food and barely able to keep water down she arrived weak, exhausted and frail. Magic had helped some, but Merrill knew the cause of the illness was a chemical imbalance due to the pregnancy, and once they had settled in, Merrill began to search the countryside for the herbs that she would need to create a potion to help control the morning sickness.

Those first few months Mari had been so ill that she hadn't really given much thought to the events that had taken place in Kirkwall, but as the potions that Merrill had created began to ease her sickness her mind had begun to focus on those awful events. Sabrina had said '_Everything went according to plan.' _Mari could only conclude that she was referring to the ritual with Anders and that they had been able to bring him back. Bring him back! He wouldn't have needed to be brought back if it hadn't been for her. She had killed the only man that she had ever loved, the man that had fathered her two beautiful children and for what? To please the crowd? To give them what they had wanted? A horrible pain ripped through her guilt ridden heart, and she quietly let out a cry of anguish.

She could still feel the blade as it pierced his tender skin, she could hear the sound of muscle and cartilage ripping from the force of her dagger, driving it in. She could still feel his hot blood as it poured out over her hands, staining her fingers with a sticky glaze as his warm blood dripped off her fingertips leaving deep red spots on the cobblestone. The blood, so much blood… his blood permanently tainting her hands with his death… with his murder.

Mari felt a pair of soft hands rest over the top of hers as she heard the gentle voice of Merrill, "Mari, it's gone. It's all gone. Your hands are clean."

Mari looked down and saw that she had scrubbed her hands raw and tears filled her eyes. She felt the warmth of a healing spell caress the tender skin and moments later her hands were normal again.

"Falon, you have to let the guilt go or else it will destroy you," Merrill said compassionately.

Mari had been about to reply when Teagan, Isabela and Chaos bounded into the house.

"So what is it about sailing that you love so much?" Teagan asked.

A dreamy expression settled on her face, "Mmmm, the salt spray on my face, the wind whipping by my ears, the gulls screaming overhead and nothing between you and the horizon. It's truly an arousing experience."

"Aaah, sounds wonderful. I have never had the opportunity to learn sailing," Teagan replied.

"Well, the ship is your best teacher. As your big strong hands firmly grasp her helm and take control of her, she will guide you with her sighs…her shudders, her gentle sways as she rides the crest of each pounding wave."

Teagan's mouth dropped open and when he saw Merrill and Mari standing there, his face became flushed. "Huh, that sounds very interesting."

Isabela laughed.

"Isabela, stop torturing the nice nobleman that is allowing us to stay on his property," Mari reprimanded.

"Just having a little fun," Isabela cooed.

Mari noticed Merrill blush and lower her eyes as she said, "That's our Isabela, fun, exciting and full of adventure."

Mari's eyes narrowed as she watched an adoring smile wash over the Chancellor as he looked at Merrill, "Are you an adventurous girl as well or the sweet kind that likes to be taken care of?"

Merrill blushed again, "Aaah… well, I guess I would be the kind that likes to take care of others."

"Oh don't let this cute kitten fool you, when she twirls her staff she is as deadly as a Hurlock," Isabela purred as she too noticed the reaction between the two.

"Of that I have no doubt. So my lady, I can't imagine you loving the smell of the ocean or the movement of a ship. What sort of adventures do you like indulging in?" Teagan asked.

"Oh you know, a little bit of blood magic with a dash of demonic mirror on the side. Would you like me to possess you?" Merrill asked dryly.

Teagan grinned, "Oh I can think of a few things I would like you to possess."

Merrill smiled back, "Well, then I guess that can be arranged."

Mari's mouth gaped open, "Isabela this you're influence! What have you done to our sweet Merrill?"

"The girl can't stay sugar and spice for the rest of her life. She needs to drop the sugar and add more spice," Isabela retorted.

"Please give me some credit Mari, I am not as innocent as I look," Merrill replied.

Mari cocked an eyebrow as Teagan chuckled, "Well that's good to know."

"We were going to play a game of wicked grace. Would the two of you care to join us?" Isabela asked.

"Ooo, that sounds like fun and Isabela taught me all of her cheating tricks," Merrill said enthusiastically.

Teagan chuckled.

"Not all of them Kitten," Isabela replied.

"I think I am turning in early tonight, but I'll let Chaos sit in for me," Mari said.

"That damn dog is the one that cheats! I almost lost my knickers to him the last time he played for you," Isabela argued.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't bet everything you have this time. You never know what he may ask you for. Besides every good gambler knows when to hold, when to fold, when to run; you run if you ever accuse a mabari of cheating to its face," Mari countered.

"That's good advice," Teagan snickered.

Mari wished everyone a good night and made her way to her room. The wet nurse had the twins for the night, so Mari quickly changed into her night shirt, poured herself a glass of wine and then settled in front of the fire with her journal. It was hard to believe that they would head for Amaranthine in the morning for her meeting with Anders. The very thought of it made her hands shake and her stomach tighten into a bundle of nerves. She was a torrent of emotions; guilt, betrayal, anger, love and desire burned through her simultaneously. How could one person have all of these feelings towards another, all at the same time? It boggled the mind.

The guilt had been the most overwhelming emotion that she'd been experiencing, but it was scattered with a good healthy dose of anger and betrayal. Anders had plotted and schemed the brutal deaths of innocent people, while at the same time holding her in his arms every night, telling her how much he needed her, how much he loved her, that only she could save him. His lies and deception had felt as if he had been unfaithful to her and the pain of that infidelity had torn something inside of her, something she thought was irreversible; that was until she had looked into the innocent faces of their son and daughter and she knew that for their sake she needed to find a way to forgive him.

The funny thing was that was exactly what happened. The more time she spent with the twins, the more she began to understand the inherent need a parent has to protect and shield their young ones. Instinctively, Mari knew that Anders had known that she was pregnant and that he completely grasped and embraced the innate desire to defend his children. One of the last things he had said to her regularly drifted through her mind, _"I love you more than you could ever know. You have never lost faith in me, even when you had every reason to turn away from me. Mari, you are the most important thing in my life. I would do anything… anything to make this world a better place for you. No matter what happens, please know that, please hold onto that."_

And she was holding onto it with a death grip because it was the only sound explanation for Anders' actions; the determination to protect his children from the templars, coupled with Justice's desire for vengeance proved to be a lethal combination.

_"I-I tried to fight him for as long as I could… but things changed…"_His words echoed in her mind as she turned them over and over again as she had begun to understand his underlying message. Yes, things had most definitely changed. Mari knew him so well… she knew that he would have feared his own children being sent to the circle even more than his own return to the tower. She also knew without a shadow of a doubt that Justice had played on Anders fear and love for his children to achieve his ultimate goal. A righteous anger sprung up from deep within her at the manipulating spirit and was grateful that when she saw Anders again, that Justice would no longer be a part of him.

A faint smile touched her lips as she thought of Anders without the weight of Justice pressing down on him. She had seen a glimpse of the real Anders that night at camp, after they had rescued Zevran. That night he had been so relaxed and at ease with everything and everyone. His entire demeanor had been lighthearted, charismatic and carefree. During their years together there had been a few occasions when Anders had made a joking quip or a dry remark, and those times had made her wonder if that was how he had been, before Justice. That night in camp she watched a playful Anders effortlessly engage with the others in the friendly banter and frivolous storytelling. He had confirmed her suspicions and she had fallen even more deeply in love with him. That night in their tent when he had made love to her, he had been so unrestrained, uninhibited and at times completely animalistic. It had been so invigorating to be with him and not have him holding back. It had been the best sex of her life and it was also the night that the twins were conceived.

Unfortunately, once they had returned to Kirkwall, the charming mage from camp had quickly disappeared and was once again replaced by the brooding Anders that she had known for the past six years. Anders had always been a skilled and thoughtful lover, but rarely had he ever allowed Mari to reciprocate the oral pleasures that he so enjoyed giving her. He told her it was because it took a great deal of effort to repress Justice when they were intimate and that kind of stimulation would be more then he could handle. So upon their return their love making, although still passionate had once again become restrained.

The whole situation was depressing and Mari had secretly begun to yearn for the return of the delightfully magnetic mage that she had spent that unforgettable night with. As the weeks went by, the longing for the old Anders intensified. When he had approached her about acquiring ingredients for a potion to separate him and Justice, she had agreed without hesitation, even though every instinct in her body was crying out that something was wrong. Her overwhelming desire to have the old Anders back forced her to push aside her trepidations and she willingly and blindingly aided him. She had been crushed emotionally and spiritually when Sabrina had told her that there was no potion that could separate a spirit from its host.

When she allowed herself to be honest and permitted her mind to travel down a very dark path, she knew that she had found the strength to kill Anders because the thought of bearing the children of the troubled man that she had been living with sickened her, and her only hope that her children could have the father that they deserved rested on Sabrina's shoulders. The knowledge that she had killed the man she loved with the hopes of resurrecting a better man ate at her every day. Even though this knowledge revolted her, she prayed that when she walked into that room in the Randy Stag, that she would see the impish grin of the Anders she had met that night in camp. Because that Anders she ached for, she longed to feel his touch and the taste of his lips. That Anders, was the man that she wanted to be the father of her children and spend the rest of her life with. That was the hope that she desperately clung to.

A trip that should have taken only a few days took almost a week because of the carriage that the twins rode in. Teagan insisted, for their safety, that he and several of his guard accompany them. Although Mari believed that their safety was just a façade for his true motivations. Teagan seemed to really enjoy Merrill's company and this was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with her. They arrived in the city two days before the anniversary of 'The Fall' as it was being called. The city was abuzz with rumors and gossip regarding the previous year's event and all that had happened in its aftermath. With all the attention being given to the incident, Mari was nervous that she would be recognized, so she never removed the hood of her travel cloak unless she was in the confines of her rooms at The Crown and Lion Inn.

Now, filled with a much different anxiety, Mari drew in a deep breath as she tried to calm her nerves. She closed her eyes as she pictured the mischievous glint in Anders' eyes as he sat around the campfire and told a tale of his travels with Sabrina. She smiled. _Please let that be the Anders on the other side of this door._

She took another deep breath, turned the knob and stepped inside the room. She lowered her hood as she looked around the candle lit room. From the shadows a man emerged, her breath hitched, her heart began to race as Anders came into view. He gazed at her for a long moment before he gave her a playful grin. Her heart soared and without even realizing she was moving, she ran to him and flung herself into his arms.

**xxXxx**  
Anders had arrived at the Randy Stag an hour before the prearranged time. He wanted to try and make everything as perfect as he possibly could, considering their reunion was taking place in a brothel, so he had requested a bottle of wine and a food tray be delivered. In order to put Mari more as ease, Sabrina had suggested that he find a way to downplay the fact that the room was in a brothel. Anders wanted the room to feel warm, inviting, so he had all the oil lamps removed and replaced them with dozens of candles. He also had several vases of her favorite flower, Harlot's Blush, scattered around the room. It was wishful thinking on his part that anything more than an open and honest conversation would take place, but he hoped that she would at least appreciate the gesture. He also hoped that the appealing setting would help relax her and make their meeting more comfortable.

He had just finished lighting the last candle when he heard the door knob jingle. She was early, damn. He stepped into the shadows of a corner as he tried to collect himself. A cloaked figure eased into the room and Anders immediately tensed. There had been so much talk about the anniversary of The Fall, that Anders had great concerns that he had been recognized and tracked here. His fingers tingled as the magic flowed through them, ready for him to cast a spell. The figure moved further into the room and slowly removed the hood. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the radiant woman that stood before him. She was even more beautiful then he remembered and every fiber of his being was screaming to take her in his arms. _Maker, please don't let her hate me. I don't think my heart would be able to take that. _

He moved from the shadow into the light and her eyes darted toward him. He was captivated by her very presence, he stared at her, trying to memorize all the slight changes that this last year had brought. Her raven curls now cascaded to the middle of her back. Her face looked a little fuller, but she had a healthy glow about her. Sabrina had told him that she had spent the year in Rainesfere and by the looks of her, the fresh country air had been good for her. Her steel blue eyes still twinkled as she looked at him and he couldn't help but smile.

Before he even realized that she was moving, she was in his arms and her mouth captured his with a hungry urgency. Holding her, kissing her, the smell of her, inundated his senses and his head began to spin, his groin tightening with desire. She ran her tongue along his lower lip begging for admittance which he willingly granted. His body immediately responded to the memory of her touch, the feel of her soft tongue and his need for this woman was quickly growing out of control. He fed from the sweetness of her mouth as he absorbed her essence into his very cells. Maker, she felt and tasted better than anything he had experienced before. Before, he'd had to be very controlled when they had made love so that he could keep Justice at bay when was intimate with her, so he had never truly allowed her to flood his senses, but now the need for restraint was gone and he allowed her sweet tempting scent to wash over him. He let go of his carefully guarded control and allowed his unbridled desire to seize him.

He moaned against her lips as his hands slid around to her back and nimbly undid the laces of her dress. His fingers gripped the edges and he roughly pulled it down and then agilely removed the breast band. He smiled at the perfection that were her breasts. Mari stepped out of the fallen garment, then her hands were pulling on his shirt as she tugged it over his head. He stepped back into her and quickly removed her panties; his eyes roaming over her delicious body as he bit his lip, thinking about what he wanted to do to her first. He reached for her breasts as he boldly, kneaded the soft skin, pinching her hard nipples between thumb and forefinger and she cried out at the mixture of pleasure and pain.

He pulled her to him and moaned as her supple breasts pressed against him. He lifted her up, as her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. The feel of her hot, wet center pressed against his stomach, causing a guttural groan to tear from his throat as he ached to bury himself deep within her. He brought her to the wall and pushed her firmly against it. His mouth once again captured hers as he devoured her sweet lips. The taste of her was as intoxicating as he remembered and it only made him long for her more. He was eager to remember her touch, to remember her taste, and the feel of her heat enveloping him. The mere thought of it made him tremble with anticipation and a hunger… an all consuming hunger is what he felt for her and made sure she knew as his teeth bit into the curve of her neck. She cried out as she ran her nails across his back.

With her pressed firmly against the wall, he played unmercifully with her body; he pinched, licked, sucked and bit as he skated the thin line between pleasure and pain so effectively, that when he hesitated for a moment, she cried out in frustration and he couldn't help but smile.

"Patience, Love," he moaned into her ear. He felt her body quiver, her breath was short and raspy and he savoured the way her body was reacting to his touch. For a year he had dreamt and fantasized about her trembling against him. When alone he would recall the sound of her moaning, the way she cried out his name and how she clung to him trembling as she came. It was those memories that carried him for a year through those long, lonely nights. Now she was actually here, she wanted him as much as he wanted her. So tonight he was going to delight in every moan, every sigh and cry of ecstasy that he was able to conjure from her lips.

Anders pulled back from her, he looked into her beautifully flushed face, he watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Her lips were swollen as they trembled slightly with desire. He set her down as he undid his pants and stepped out of them and his small clothes. Maker he wanted her; it had been a year and all he could think of was burying himself in her, but before he could take her, she grabbed his shoulders and forcefully spun him around, slamming him against the wall. Her eyes flared with hunger and desire. She sucked his hard nipple into her mouth and bit, at the same time he felt her slender fingers wrap around his thick hard length, a growl ripped from his throat as his hips pushed into her caress.

"I have wanted to give you this pleasure for so long," she mewed against his chest. Her lips vibrating against his skin sending a tremor of pleasure through him. "And now Lover, you are going to allow me give you the pleasure that I have longed to give you," she purred into his ear as continued to stroke him.

She kissed his neck down to his chest, feathering kisses down his stomach to his hips and then her soft lips brushed the sensitive tip of his member. He trembled with anticipation just before she took him in her warm, silky mouth and a cry of intense pleasure escaped his lips. He pressed his palms against the wall, raking his nails against the stone as her suction and licks caused unspeakable pleasure to rip through him. The warm heat that surrounded him felt so incredible it forced a groan to break free from deep within him. Maker, he had forgotten how amazing this felt, his vision was blurring and he heard his breath hitch as she twirled her tongue around the tip before taking him deep into her throat.

"Oh M-mari, my sweet Mari," he moaned as his head fell back against the wall as he drowned in the sheer bliss of her mouth. Every fiber of his being was enraptured as she made love to him with her mouth. His finger entwined in her hair as he watched her head glide back and forth.

"By the Maker, y-you're trying to kill me," he gasped.

Her only reply was to begin to stroke the base of him with her hand while her tongue licked and sucked at his sensitive tip. He cried out her name in a chorus of supplication. He was lost in the exquisite torture that she was unleashing upon him. She was a gift to him from the Maker, one that he didn't deserve, but one that he would spend the rest of his life cherishing.

He knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he grasped her wrist and pulled her to him. He needed to be in her, to feel her wrapped tightly around him. In one swift movement, he grasped her bottom and lifted her up. Her hand slid between them as she guided him into her. He moaned as her warmth enfolded him. He spun and pressed her firmly against the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him in deeper. Oh Maker, at this moment nothing else existed in the world, just the two of them and they could only feel each other, only see each other as if a tunnel had closed in around them.

His tongue swirled and licked along her collarbone as he thrust into her, she dragged her nails across his back, he pushed into her harder, her back hitting the wall and she cried out his name. His mouth moved to her earlobe, he closed his lips around it, slowly moving in and out of her slick center, he sucked and cherished every delicate inch of her luscious body as she pushed against him, riding him trying to gain friction. Their bodies melted into each other as they clung to one another so tightly that they could barely breathe.

For the first time in a year he felt whole again, he felt he was home, he felt safe and he felt that he had found his redemption in her. She lovingly mewed his name as her fingers entwined in his hair, she gave a hard tug and his paced quickened. His desire was now insatiable and she was the only one that could quench it. She moaned his name again and in that moment he lost all control, he couldn't stop himself from biting her neck as his fingers pinched her nipple.

She cried out his name as his head dipped down and he took her nipple in his mouth. In that instant her body shook against his and her legs quivered around his waist as the sweet cadence of her climax sung pleasingly in his ear. He silenced her as his lips claimed hers intensely and passionately as she rode out her orgasm against him. Her satin walls contracted around him, his vision narrowed, his stomach clenched as she milked him for everything he was worth. She clung to him with an intensity only matched by his stare as her tears fell, his breath came in short pants and his thumb gently rubbed away the tears.

"Don't cry, Love," Anders panted as he leaned in to kiss the tears away.

"Anders... I-I am so sorry... for everything," Mari whispered.

"It's done, Mari. It's over. I forgive you and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me," Anders sighed as he buried his head in the crook of her neck.

Her fingers twisted in his hair. "I do... I forgive you and I love you Anders... Maker help me, for better or worse I chose you. It's you I want to spend the rest of my live with."

Anders smiled, "That sounds like marriage vows, Love."

"It is my vow to you. I want you, I choose you and if it were legal I would choose you to be my husband... from this point on Anders, I will always choose you... you are the love my life, the father of my children, you are all I want," Mari said resoundingly.

Anders cupped her face in his hands, "You mean everything to me, Mari. I can't live without you. This past year was the hardest thing I have ever endured."

"Harder than me killing you?" Mari questioned.

"I can't say that I didn't struggle with it, but not having you with me, not being able to talk to you, to seek comfort from you or give you comfort in return was torture. I knew you were carrying our children, I wanted to share in that with you and it killed me that you were in the same country as I, but I couldn't be there for you. I swear to you, Mari, I will spend the rest of my life making up for the time that we've lost."

She leaned in and passionately kissed him, when she pulled back to catch her breath she whispered, "We both have a lot that we want to atone for and to right the wrongs of the past. I meant what I said Anders, I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you and if I could, I would marry you."

"Well then, I do believe that we are going to have change that law because there isn't anything I want more than to call you Wife."

"Right, so let's go blow up a few more Chantries and have ourselves a wedding," Mari chuckled.

Anders laughed as he kissed her neck, "You are an evil, evil woman."

After they had cleaned up, Anders poured them some wine and they crawled onto the bed together. Leaning against the headboard, Anders pulled her to his chest, and kissed her forehead, "So tell me about my son and daughter."

Mari's head snapped up, "How do you know?"

Anders smiled, "I met them in the Fade."

"You what?" Mari questioned.

Anders continued to smile as he told her about his trip to the Fade. She stared at him in dumbfounded disbelief. "So your children convinced you to come back? You didn't want to come back?"

Anders ran his fingers through her hair as he tried to find away to comfort her. "Mari, it's not that I didn't want to come back to you and the twins, but the peace that I felt there was like nothing I had never known. It was serene and tranquil and I felt so at peace. It draws you, comforts you and you just know that those you are leaving behind will be fine. That knowledge enables you to let go. It's really hard to explain."

Mari nodded her understanding, but said nothing for a long time. "It's comforting to know that my mother, father and Carver went to a place so beautiful and peaceful."

Anders kissed her forehead. He was glad that he could give her comfort regarding the tragic deaths of her family members.

"So when do I get to meet them?" Anders finally asked.

"They normally wake up to eat around eleven. After they are fed, Merrill and Teagan will bring them here," Mari said.

Anders laughed out loud. "Only you would bring two babies into a brothel. Well, that will clear out Madame Cat's costumers quickly."

Mari just laughed. He loved the sound of her laughter; it was music to his ears. He pulled her a little closer to him, still not quite believing this wasn't a dream. If it was, he never wanted to wake up from it. He gently pinched her bottom and she yelped.

"What was that for?"

"I wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream or that you weren't a desire demon," Anders replied mischievously.

"You're supposed to pinch yourself," she replied with a wicked grin as slid into his lap.

Anders eyes widened in mock surprise, "Oh really? Is that how that works?"

Mari continued to smile roguishly at him as her hand slid across his chest. He was enjoying the feel of her tender caresses when she caught him off guard and pinched his nipple. "Ouch," he cried out in surprise while at the same time his loins jumped to attention. He smiled at her impishly as he pulled her back to him and claimed her once again as his own.

They had just dressed and settled at the table for a snack when a knock came at the door. Mari grinned at him, jumped to her feet and answered the knock. Merrill and Teagan strolled in, each carrying a small bundle.

"Oooo, it's true, you're alive," Merrill crooned.

Anders smiled sheepishly at her, "Yes, the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, but let's continue to try and keep it as gossip. Okay, Merrill?"

Merrill nodded in agreement. "Oh yes, that would probably be best, but it's good to see you Anders."

"Thank you, Merrill. It's good to see you too."

Mari took the first bundle from Merrill. She walked over to him, she had tears in her eyes, but a smile on her lips.

"Anders, may I present your son, Jaxon Anders," Mari said as she handed him the tiny baby.

"You named him after me?" Anders asked with surprise.

"Of course, Love. He's your son," Mari replied lovingly.

Anders gently cradled the infant, tenderly he pulled away the blanket and peered into his son's face. Just as in the Fade his son had a head of straight, raven hair and those big blue eyes that he remembered so well, curiously examined him. Anders lovingly ran his hand over the top of the boy's head.

"It's a little early to tell, but I have a feeling that Jax has a bit of his Uncle Carver in him. He is stubborn already, but very loving," Mari said.

"Jax?"Anders asked.

"It's his nickname," Mari replied. She then walked over to Teagan. She took the infant from the Chancellor. She smiled again as she placed his daughter in his arms.

"This bundle of joy is Jaiden Leandra; Jai for short," Mari said.

Anders looked into the beautiful face of his daughter. She had a head of golden blond curls and the biggest blue eyes. Jai looked at him and cooed. In that instant, she had stolen his heart. Tears filled his eyes as he looked up at Mari, "T-thank you. As a mage, I never even dared to dream of the possibility of being a father. Mari, you have given me the greatest gift, ever."

Mari knelt before him and stared into his eyes. "I love you, Anders. I am so glad that our little family is finally together."

For the first time in his life Anders was filled with complete joy and utterly at peace with himself and with the world in which he lived.

A/N – Once again, thank you to all of my faithful readers and reviewers. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments.

*A big shout out to my beta peeps, Beta Goddess One RandomWittering and Beta Goddess Two Jinx1983, for their fanfrickentabulous beta-ing skill. You ladies are the best! Thank you for all of your help, advise, support and most of all your friendship.


	10. Chapter 10 I'll be there

**Chapter 10**

"You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back

Where there is love, I'll be there, (I'll be there)

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do

Just call my name and I'll be there (I'll be there)

And oh, I'll be there to comfort you, build my world of dreams around you

I'm so glad that I found you, I'll be there with a love that's strong

I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on (Holding on, holding on, holding on)

Yes I will, yes I will

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter, togetherness, well that's all I'm after

Whenever you need me, I'll be there, (I'll be there)

I'll be there to protect you, (Yeah baby)

With an unselfish love I respect you

Just call my name and I'll be there, (I'll be there)

_I'll be there by The Jackson 5_

Anders, Mari and the twins had been staying at Vigil's Keep for the past nine months. Sabrina had converted the hunting lodge and the caretaker's cottage into married housing for the Wardens. Since the lodge was bigger than the cottage, Sabrina gave it to Anders' family to use. The cottage which was smaller and sat on the other side of the estate was given to the newlyweds, Gabriel and Kaylessa. A twinge of jealously had reared its ugly head when Anders had attended their wedding. He knew that was blessed to have Mari, Jax and Jai in his life, but he wanted to make them a real family. He longed to call Mari his wife, however he never expressed this desire to anyone for fear that Bree would over hear him, smack him upside the head and call him selfish; which to a point she would be right.

Whenever possible Bree and Tristen would volunteer to babysit for him and Mari so that they could have some alone time; on those occasions Anders would watch Bree lovingly care for and play with his children, before they headed out for the evening. When she held them, rocked them and told them stories he could see the longing and heartbreak in her eyes and he knew how blessed he was. He didn't know what he had done to deserve these two tiny miracles, but he was extremely grateful for them. He was however going to have to talk with Bree about the content of her stories. The twins had just turned a year old a few weeks before and he didn't think stories about dragons and werewolves would be age appropriate, not unless she made it a nice, talking dragon and werewolves that loved to give kids piggyback rides.

The past nine months had been the happiest of his life. He had everything that he ever wanted, but had never even hoped would be a possibility.

He was making his way back to the lodge after a meeting with Sabrina in the keep, to deliver the news that he needed to go back into the Deep Roads, strong feelings of anxiety and fear settling over him. Impending battles had never bothered him before, but now that he had so much to lose, a disquieting dread settled over him.

Anders entered their home to find Jax and Jai playing on the floor while Mari watched them from the kitchen as she cleaned up from lunch. Jai saw him enter the room, her eyes lit up and she squealed with delight. Jax looked up from his toy and smiled a toothless grin at him. Both immediately stretched out their arms towards him wanting him to pick them up. Anders immediately cast a levitation spell and brought them gently to his arms.

Mari smiled when she saw him come in, "This is an unexpected surprise. Did Bree give you time off for good behavior or did she send you home for being naughty?"

Anders smiled roguishly at her, "If daydreaming about the luscious mother of your children during a fight is a crime, then yes, I've been naughty and I plan on being even naughtier tonight when I make those dreams a reality."

Mari returned his mischievous grin, "So Sabrina sent the naughty mage home for a thorough spanking. Do I need to get my whip out?"

Anders grinned at her. The lighthearted rogue that he had met all those years ago had returned and it amazed him just how perfect she was for him. He sighed as he prepared to tell her "Well, with the news that I'm about to give you, you might opt for your daggers."

The grin quickly vanished from her face, she took Jai from him and then the two of them sat down on the sofa. "What's going on Anders?"

He hesitated a long moment. Saying it out loud made it a reality; a reality that he didn't want to face. He took a deep sigh, "Sabrina received a message from the Deep Roads today that Dworkin was about a month away from breaking through that barrier. Once he is through, it will literally be a race between the Wardens and the darkspawn to reach the Old God. She has asked that I accompany her."

"She asked? She didn't order you?" Mari questioned.

Anders shook his head sadly. "No, she left the decision up to me."

A slight smile crept across her face. "So you don't have to go?" she asked hopefully.

Anders looked into her eyes as he gently stroked her cheek. "I have to go, Love. I need to be there for her."

"But she is leaving the decision up to you. You don't have to go. You have two young children that need you. Kaylessa is an excellent healer, why can't she stay on," Mari said defensively.

With his free hand Anders clasped hers, "She has been down there for long enough, she will need a break. Besides love, I have to go. I have to be there for her. I-if we are too late and she takes the final blow… I-I just need to be there."

"Anders, please, please, don't go! I have a bad feeling about this, please stay here with me and the twins," Mari begged.

"Mari, I want to stay with you and the twins more than anything else in the world. But I owe it to Bree to be there for her. Sweetheart, she risked everything for me. She put her life, her career and her nobility on the line for me. As man of honor, I can do no less for her, but as her friend I must be there and if s-she doesn't make it, Tristen will need us."

Mari nodded her head in agreement. "I understand," she sighed.

He moved Jax around until he could pull her carefully towards him and kissed her forehead. "So do I get an extra spanking for being the bearer of bad news."

"Two extras," Mari said as her lips pouted.

Anders laughed. "Well, I guess I deserve that."

Anders stayed with her until she'd put the twins down for a nap and she decided to take one too. He made his way back to the Commander's office to let her know his decision. As he rounded the corner he heard her raised voice coming down the hall.

"Zev, Isabela, this behavior cannot continue. I am tired of receiving complaints about the two of you. This is a Wardens keep. There is a certain amount of decorum that must be followed. So either follow these rules or I swear I will take steps so you can't... permanently," Sabrina huffed.

Anders entered the doorway to see Tristen standing beside Sabrina shaking his head, biting his lip to keep from grinning. Zev and Isabela stood in front Sabrina looking bored as Sabrina said calmly, but very sternly, "Rule number one, no more playing hide the pumping pole in the bliss box in my throne room. Rule number two, all toys must properly washed and put away out of plain sight. Finally rule number three, stop stealing the whipped cream. Besides making Cook extremely agitated, it's starting to cost more than Oghren's ale."

Anders chuckled as he walked in, "You might want to add, no more scandalous orgies with the kitchen staff in the middle of the day… it taints the food. And while we are giving them rules tell them to stop stealing all my best curse words and claiming them as their own. 'Andraste's twat twister' was mine. Now half the Keep uses it and believes that Zev created it!"

"Children!" Tristen exclaimed. "Could we please just grow up and try to act our age?"

Isabela snorted, "Where's the fun in that?"

"My dear Warden, you are running this Keep like a Chantry," Zev retorted.

"Well we can solve that problem, we'll just get Anders to blow it up," Isabela chortled.

"Hey, the Keep is my home too. Now if the two of you would move into the Chantry in the village, I'll happily blow you up," Anders replied dryly.

"Mia Tesoro Amica, you really need to lighten up some. You seem very stressed. Is Tristen not properly relieving your anxiety? You should join Isabela and me in the throne room," Zev said jovially.

"Ooo, that's an idea. I do recall the Commander excelling below the decks," Isabela crooned.

"What?" Tristen exclaimed.

Anders smirked, "You're kidding right? Bree didn't explain that when she said she knew Isabela from her Blight travels, she meant that she _knew _Isabela. My dear Bree, you're holding out on your poor husband. That type of information would give him months worth of material… something to keep him warm on those long winter nights when you're away on missions."

Tristen was staring at Sabrina stunned. She smiled sheepishly at him, "We'll talk later."

She then turned to Zev and Isabela, "I need to discuss Warden business with Anders. If you two could _please _try to behave yourselves I would appreciate it. If you must grunt like pigs, there are plenty of open fields that surround the Keep. Go use them."

Zev threw a mock salute at the Commander, "Yes, ma'am," he chortled then he slid his arm around the rogue's waist. "Come Isabela, I do remember a lovely field not far from here."

"Please close the door behind you," Tristen asked.

Zev gave him a nod and closed the door as he exited. Sabrina rolled her neck as she tried to loosen the tension. Anders cast a relaxation spell and watched as the tension visibly lift off of her. She smiled warily at him, "Thanks, Anders."

"Bree, I know you have a lot resting on your shoulders right now, but stressing over it isn't going to make the problem go away. I'm here anytime you need me to cast a spell."

"I know you are and I appreciate it. So what have you decided?" Sabrina asked.

"I'm going with you," Anders replied solemnly.

Her eyes widened in surprise, "You are? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I need to be with you on this mission," Anders replied.

"And you told Mari that I wasn't forcing you to go. That I left the decision up to you," Sabrina questioned.

"Yes, I explained that to her, but I also told her that as your friend I needed to be there for you on this mission," Anders said.

A genuine, radiant Sabrina smile spread across her face. With all that had been going on, it had been a while since he had seen her smile like that and it warmed his heart to know that it was his actions that had caused it. "Thank you, Anders. It means a lot to me to have you there. However, I need you to know that Neria will be going on this trip too. I have a feeling I am going to need two mages. Since Gabe and Kaylessa are already in the Deep Roads, Neria will be on this mission. Are you okay with that?"

"I don't have a problem as long as she doesn't," Anders said.

"I will make it clear she's not to have one," Sabrina said.

"So who else is going?" Anders asked.

"The same group as before with the addition of Neria," Sabrina answered.

"That's a good group. We work well together," Anders replied and some of his anxiety was relieved. This was a mature experienced group of Wardens. With the exception of Zev, the Warden experience level ranged from four to ten years, with Neria being the youngest Warden and Tristen the oldest. With the exception of Neria, he trusted every one of them with his life.

"We will leave in a week. Will Mari stay here or will she go to Rainesfere?" Sabrina asked.

"I think she is waiting to hear from Merrill. If Alistair asks her to remain at Court over the summer break then I think she will stay at the Keep, but if Alistair gives her leave, Teagan has invited her back to his estate for the summer and I think Mari and Isabela will join her there," Anders explained.

Sabrina smiled. "Teagan is certainly enthralled by the charming elf."

Anders stood to take his leave, "It's good for Merrill. He has been good for her. I hope it works out without either one of them getting hurt."

Sabrina and Tristen also stood. "I do too."

"I'll see you at dinner, Bree," Anders said as he made his way across the room. He turned just in time to see Tristen pull her into his arms, "Now tell me every last detail about this escapade with Isabela."

Sabrina laughed, "Alistair was there. I'm surprised you don't know about it from his dreams."

"W-what? That really happened," Tristen stammered.

Anders laughed as he closed the door behind them. He quickly made his way down to the courtyard, looking for Zev. He spotted him near the stables with Isabela. He called him.

"Make this quick, my friend we are about to head out for a ride," Zev said.

Anders raised an eyebrow.

Zev chuckled, "I'm just following the Commander's orders."

"Speaking of the Commander, do you think you could lighten up a little? This mission has her under a lot of stress already without you and Isabela adding to it."

"I don't understand why she is so anxious. It's not like we haven't gone into the Deep Roads before and she could kill darkspawn in her sleep," Zev questioned.

Anders stared at the assassin astonished. "Zev, for someone who is highly intelligent you aren't being very bright at the moment, maybe think with your other head for a little while. Do you know the main reason for opening that passage?"

"Yes, to reach the Old God and kill it," Zev replied impatiently.

Zev's blindness was beginning to frustrate Anders. "Yes that is the plan. Kill the Old God before the darkspawn reach it, but Zev, what happens to the Old God if the darkspawn reach it before the Wardens do?" Anders asked in a condescending tone as if he were talking to a child.

Zev paused, realizing that Anders was trying to a make a point, but not grasping it. "They corrupt it and it becomes an Archdemon."

"And who are the only people that are able to kill an Archdemon?"

"W-wardens," Zev stuttered as it dawned on him the point that Anders was trying to make.

"And with no scapegoat this time, who do you think will make the killing blow?"

Zev lowered his head and Anders could see the elf was fighting hard to keep his emotions at bay. The assassin let out a low groan, "She will."

"So do you see the importance of keeping her spirits up and the mood light?" Anders asked.

"Aaah, damn it Anders. I know all of this. All of the information was right there in front of me, but I just didn't see the big picture," Zev sighed.

"Maybe you didn't want to see, because it meant coming to terms with the very real possibility she may not make it out of the Deep Roads this time," Anders stated.

Zev's head shot up and he looked at Anders, "Tristen."

"I think Tristen is handling it as best as he can. He is being strong for her, he is trying to keep the mood light and eliminate as much pressure from her as he can, but it's wearing on him. I can see it around his eyes. He is worried, scared and I don't blame him," Anders said.

"You have my word, I'll do whatever I can to make things easier for her… and Tristen," Zev replied.

Anders nodded as he rested a reassuring hand on Zev's shoulder, "If anyone can make it to the Old God before the darkspawn, Bree can."

Zev smiled, "Yes, I know that my friend, but it does little to ease the worry of the other possible outcome."

"I know," Anders said. A burning desire to kiss the love of his life and hold his children, swept over him and he headed towards their home.

**x****xXxx**

It had taken them a little over a month to arrive at the Grey Warden base camp in the Deep Roads. Gabriel, who had been in charge of the current group of Wardens greeted them when they arrived.

"Commander, you are a sight for sore eyes," the ex-templar said.

Sabrina laughed. "I'm sure I am. How have things been going?"

Before Gabriel could answer, Dworkin walked up to them. "Aaah, Commander it's good to see you. The last of the barrier is ready to blow. We have just been waiting for you to arrive."

"Okay, good. It was a long journey to get to this point. I want my Wardens to get some rest, relax a little, maybe with some ale or spirits and a good night's sleep. I'm sure Gabe's team will want to get some rest before they start to make their way to the surface, so let's plan on blowing it up first thing in the morning," Sabrina replied.

"Speaking of ale, I hope you brought some more. Sigrun has rationed it, but we are almost out," Dworkin stated.

"Dworkin, you've known me for years now? Would I ever plan an excursion into the Deep Roads with Oghren, without doubling the quantity of ale?" Sabrina asked.

Dworkin grinned, "Good point."

Sabrina smiled. "Thank you for all of your help with the expedition, Dworkin, we couldn't have done it without you."

"Anytime, Commander, you know how much I enjoy blowing things up. Not to mention, I owe you for saving me from the qunari," Dworkin replied.

"Aaah, that was nothing, but you're welcome," Sabrina said as she turned to help unpack the supplies they'd brought and settle into the camp.

After dinner they all gathered around the fire and Zev suggested a game of King's Cup. Everyone wholeheartedly agreed as Sabrina shook her head and muttered, "This game never ends well."

Since everyone was already gathered in a circle, Zev placed a big cup in the middle near the fire pit, he took a deck of playing cards and scattered them face-down around the cup. He then pointed to Jean Luc, who was seated to his left a few spaces from him, "We will start with you and work our way around the circle."

Jean Luc walked over to the cup and drew a card, it was a two and everyone yelled, "Fuck you."

Jean Luc smiled, pointed to Tristen and said, "Drink, my friend." Tristen smiled and did as requested.

Neria was next in the circle and she walked over to the cup, she drew a four, everyone yelled, "Floor" and they all placed their cups on the ground. They all looked at Neria and said, "Drink." Neria looked for her cup only to remember that she had set it on a log, she let out a sigh, went back to her place and drank.

Zev was next, he pulled an eight and the group chanted, "Never have I ever…"

"There's not a lot for you to choose from, my friend," Anders chuckled.

"Very true….Hmmm, never have I ever…" Zev paused for a long moment before a devilish grin spread across his face. "Never have I ever given a Dalish tattoo,"

No one raised their glasses to drink except Sabrina and as she gulped her ale she muttered something about friends that are unable to keep secrets and should have their tongues magically bound.

Zev just laughed, "Good thing you're not a mage."

"Yeah, but I'm good friends with a couple of them," Sabrina countered.

"I won't bind your tongue Zev, if you tell us about the tattooing," Anders replied.

"Deal!" Zev exclaimed and then cleared his throat before he launched into his tale. "Well, after we rescued the Dalish from werewolves, the elves offered Sabrina a boon. She asked them to teach her how to give Dalish tattoos which they willingly did. One night at camp not long after we left the Dalish and after a few ales, Sabrina decided that it was a good idea to give all of us "her mark"... on our arses."

"What was her mark?" Tess asked.

Both Oghren and Zev shrugged their shoulders. "I have yet to find a mirror low enough to see it," Oghren said.

"She placed it at a weird angle and I have never been able to see it clearly enough to make out," Zev answered.

The group looked at Sabrina. "What? I'm not telling. They will have to show you."

Everyone looked back at Zev and Oghren. They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders again, spun around and dropped their pants. Everyone gathered around to admire Sabrina's work.

"I'm surprised you could make that so small," Gabe said.

"I didn't know you were such a talented artist," Tess stated.

"Nicely done, Bean, very meaningful," Nate said.

"Wow that's really detailed; that had to have taken a long time. How could stand to look at Oghren's hairy ass for so long?" Anders asked.

"Smelling salts and lots of ale," Sabrina replied dryly.

"I want one, Bree," Tess said.

"Same here," Anders added and soon all of the Wardens were chiming in that they wanted Sabrina's tattoo.

Sabrina laughed and nodded in agreement. "Fine, when we get back to Vigil's Keep I'll gladly give all of you my mark."

"As long as it isn't on their arses; that's way more arse than I want my wife seeing," Tristen declared.

Everyone agreed to have the tattoo placed somewhere else other than their bottoms as they headed back to their places in the circle. Tristen leaned over and whispered, "I want you to put mine on my ass."

Sabrina grinned, "I would love to look at your bottom for hours."

Tristen grinned back, "No smelling salts required."

Sabrina giggled. "Yes, I know."

Oghren walked over to the deck and drew a king. Everyone yelled, "King's cup."

"By my ancestor's hairy balls, I just filled my cup," Oghren mumbled as he took one last swig and then poured the rest of his ale into the large cup in the center of the cards.

Anders' then went up to the pile, he pulled the Queen of Spades, they all yelled, "Question the Bitch."

"I didn't know Anora was here," Tristen whispered in Sabrina's ear.

"It wouldn't surprise me," Sabrina replied.

Anders looked at Oghren, "Have you ever dressed in drag to play those role playing games that Felsi is so fond of?"

"Is a nug's ass pink?" Oghren asked.

Anders sighed, then looked at Tess, "Did you have a crush on Tristen when you first joined the Wardens?"

Tess' faced turned two shades of red, but without hesitation she asked, "Did you?"

Without thinking Anders yelled, "No!"

Everyone yelled, "Drink." And Anders willingly complied.

Tess walked over to the deck, drew a jack, and they all yelled, "Categories."

Tess thought for a moment, than grinned, "Brothels of Thedas… The Randy Stag, Amaranthine."

She sat beside Nate, he threw his arm around her and kissed her. "I love your dirty mind… The Wet Harbor, Ostwick."

"The Pearl, Denerim," Sabrina stated.

"The LAY Sister, Val Royeaux," Tristen said.

"The H-honey Nug, O-o-orzammar," Oghren slurred.

"Wanda's Wonderful World of Whips, Shags & Gags, Denerim," Anders added.

"Oooo, how did I miss that one?" Zev asked.

"The Knocking Shop, Llomerynn," Gabriel stated.

Kaylessa raised an eyebrow. "What? Templars talk."

"The Magic Box, Minrathous," Kaylessa added as Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "Templars aren't the only ones who talk."

"I heard that's a good one. They also put on shows with a donkey and a nug…" Anders stopped mid-sentence and smiled sheepishly as everyone stared at him.

"I don't even want to know," Sabrina said.

Zev leaned over to Anders and whispered, "It's a good show. I highly recommend it."

"The Honey Nug, Orzammar," Sigrun said.

Everyone yelled, "Drink."

"Who said that one?" Sigrun questioned.

"Oghren," Marcell replied.

"Is that what he said?" Sigrun took a swig of her ale, stood up and then added the rest to the King's cup. "I'm exhausted and I have guard duty in the middle of the night so I'm going to head to bed."

Both Marcell and Jean Luc also stood. "We are pulling the midnight watch with you so we should get some sleep too."

Everyone said goodnight as Nate got up to select a card, he pulled a nine and the group chanted, "It's Rhyme Time."

Nate thought for a minute then said, "The sky was dark the moon was high, all alone just her and I."

"Her hair so soft her eyes so blue, I knew just what she wanted to do," Tristen added.

Sabrina paused for a moment then said, "Her skin so soft, her legs so fine, I ran my fingers down her spine," Both Zev and Anders hooted and whistled, Sabrina grinned and winked at them.

"I didn't know how but I tried my best, to place my hand upon her breast," Anders chuckled.

Neria hesitated, then smiled as she said, "I remember my fear my fast beating heart, but slowly she spread her legs apart."

"Yes, they were good at that in the Circle," Anders muttered and Neria sneered at him.

"A-and when she did I felt no shame, as all at once the w-white stuff came," Oghren bellowed. Everyone looked at Oghren stunned that he could even put two words together let alone make them rhyme.

"At last it was finished it's all over now, my first time milking a cow," Zev chortled and everyone laughed.

Tess who was next looked at him with stunned silence, "I-I got nothing. That was the last thing I expect to come out of your mouth Zev."

"Drink," the Wardens yelled.

The game continued on for several more hours. Sabrina couldn't keep her eyes open and rested her head back against Tristen's chest. The next thing she knew she was being carried to the private alcove that she and Tristen shared. He gently set her down and tenderly helped her out of her armor. He didn't bother putting on her night shirt as he lovingly pulled her to him; still not fully awake, he kissed her, she returned the kiss, slowly at first, but as she became more aware her body began to respond to his lips and his touch. She slid her arms around his neck and pressed her body into him, she slipped her hand down between them and took him in her hand. He moaned at her caress, laid her back on the bedroll and proceeded to tenderly and lovingly show his wife how much he adored her.

A/N – *King's Cup is an actual drinking game if you want see all the categories and the rules the link is below. http : / / www . drinkinggames . com/game. php/34/Kings+Cup

*If you were wondering what "Sabrina's Mark" looks like Jinx1983 was kind enough to create it for us. I can't draw a stick figure so I really appreciate her doing this and making it look so good. The first one is the actual tat and then there is a color version of it too. Thanks, Jinxy. You're the best! http : / /jinxx1983. deviantart. com/art/ Sabrina-s-tattoo- 205947950? q=gallery %3A jinxx1983 & qo=1 Color version http :/ / jinxx1983. /art/ Sabrina-s-Mark-205948627?q= gallery%3Ajinxx1983 &qo=0

*The second one shot companion piece to Blood Sugar Sex Magik had been posted. It's called Can't Fight This Feeling and it picks up where the other one shot, Beautiful Disaster, left off. However, even if you haven't read the first one shot it will stand alone. It picks up immediately after Anders and Hawke share their first kiss. Hope you enjoy it! http:/ /www. /s/ 69 40 499/1/ Cant_Fight_This_Feeling_Anymore

*Last, but never least, I want to thank the two best betas in the world, Beta Goddess RandomWittering and Beta Goddess Jinx1983 for always having my back and making me look good. You two ladies are the best!


	11. Chapter 11 Losing You

**Chapter 11**

"Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost

Doesn't mean I'll stop, doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt

Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve, no better and no worse

I just got lost, every river that I've tried to cross, and every door I ever tried was locked

Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off"

_Losing You by Coldplay_

The moment that the barrier collapsed the Wardens immediately felt their taint begin to hum and they heard the hauntingly beautiful serenade of the Old God as it called to them, drawing them to it. Zev and the dwarves just stared with trepidation as the Wardens began to move into the tunnel as if they were in a trance.

Zev grabbed Sabrina's shoulders and shook her as he yelled, "Bella mia, snap out it. Bree, do you hear me? Wake up!"

Sabrina managed to glance at him but her eyes were unfocused. He shook her again and let out a relieved breath as her gaze finally fixed on him. "Bree, are you with me?" Zev asked.

Sabrina nodded. She looked at her fellow Wardens as their taint pulled them deeper into the tunnels. Along with Zev, Sabrina ran to each of her Wardens, shaking them until the fog cleared from their eyes. Once they were completely alert and aware of their surroundings, she gathered them around her. "As we all just experienced, the call of the Old God is powerful and mesmerizing. We can use our taint to lead us to it, but we will need to remain extra vigilant and not allow it to enchant us. Anders is there a cleansing spell you can cast, to help keep our minds focused?"

Anders thought about it for a moment then said, "I think Neria and I could come up with a combination, some type of repulsion and barrier spell, but it would only work as long as we were stationary not as we move through the tunnels." He looked over at Neria who gave a curt nod of agreement.

Sabrina thought it over before she spoke, "Okay, well at least that would give us protection at night, when we are resting and at our most vulnerable. However, when we are traveling I want each of us with a partner. It is your job to make sure that your partner does not become hypnotized by the call; the following need to pair up, Tess and Nate, Anders and Oghren. Tristen, you're with me and Zev, Neria will be your partner."

Zev looked over at the beautiful Elven mage, then at Sabrina. He clasped his hands together as if praying and mouthed "thank you". The Commander just rolled her eyes and grinned.

The rest of the day was spent with no darkspawn sightings, but they could all feel them nearby as they raced towards the same goal. The thing that disturbed both Tristen and Sabrina was that due to the song of the Old God, they couldn't distinguish just how close they were, and this made both of the senior Wardens nervous. There had been a few small skirmishes with corrupt spiders, but nothing they couldn't handle. It surprised Sabrina that one of them seemed to be battling against the others. She just chalked it up to the taint taking its toll on the creature, turning it into a ghoul type spider that turned on its own.

The group was relatively quiet as they worked their way through the tunnels, letting the taint guide them ever deeper.

"Hey, Sparkle fingers, you're looking a little pale, did you have some of your own cooking or is your glowyness just some sort of mage thing? You are very shiny." Orghen stated in a distant distracted voice. Sabrina spun around and stared into his vacant eyes at the same time Anders did.

The mage grinned as he smacked Oghren upside the head, "Snap out it, dwarf."

Oghren's eyes once again gained their focus and Anders smiled, "I like this. I get to smack the shit of Oghren and he can't retaliate 'cause I'm saving his life."

"Wanna bet?" Oghren grunted as he jumped straight up and smacked Anders.

Anders swatted at him as if he was shooing a pesky insect away, "You hit like a girl, I bet Felsi can hit harder than that. Maybe we should change your name to Oghreena."

"I'll bet my axe could make you sing a different tune," the dwarf grumbled.

"If he swings it near your twigs and berries, Anders, you will definitely be singing a few octaves higher," Zev chortled.

"Even so my punches will still be more masculine than his, but I do believe I will miss my manly bits, so good point," Anders countered.

"I believe Mari will miss your manly bits even more," Tess interjected.

"She will chop off my other bits just for losing my manly pieces in a stupid bet against a girly dwarf."

"Which bits would those be, if he already took the twigs and berries? What else are you hiding under those robes, Anders?" Tess inquired teasingly.

"As well as my handsome looks and my charming personality, I have more than a few hidden talents. None of which are legal enough to reveal to you," Anders replied loftily.

The witty repartee continued throughout most of the day. Sabrina worked hard at blocking it out so that she could concentrate on keeping track of both the darkspawn and the Old God. As they paused in front of two tunnels splitting off from the main corridor, Sabrina let out a frustrated sigh as the endless chatter continued to interfere with her focus.

"Excuse me, but could you please shut the bloody hell up!" Tristen exclaimed. All eyes turned to look at him. "Wardens" Tristen motioned between him and Sabrina, "trying to work here."

The group fell completely silent as they watched both Sabrina and Tristen stand at the entrance of the two tunnels; they closed their eyes and focused on the pull as they tried to determine the correct direction. They drifted towards the song, stopping just in the entrance to the left. With scant warning, Tristen's eyes flew open and yelled, "Run Brin!"

The song and confusing taint had masked the approach of the darkspawn and Tristen spun and leveled his sword at the Hurlock that now held a dagger to his wife's throat. Sabrina watched her husband's eyes narrow as the rage of his reaver nature, flickered across his face.

The Seeker stepped out from behind the Hurlock. It smiled malevolently at Tristen, "So Warden, it seems we meet again and this time I have your lovely wife in my possession. It does not look like she will be making that killing blow after all, so I guess it will have to be you that does the deed."

Sabrina heard the whistle of an arrow as Nate hit the Hurlock with pinpoint accuracy in the shoulder; the creature loosened its grip on her as it stumbled backwards. Reading each other perfectly the couple moved simultaneously together as Sabrina pivoted, ducked and drove her sword into the Seekers stomach, just as Tristen swung his sword and fulfilled his dream of permanently removing the Seeker's head from its body.

"No one fucking threatens my wife and lives to tell about it," Tristen growled as he walked over to Sabrina and pulled her into his arms.

"Wow, I thought you and Alistair worked well together, but that was a thing of beauty," Oghren stated in awe.

"Remind me to never, even in jest, threaten the Commander," Neria muttered.

"Even without the whole possibility of decapitation, I would think for career advancement that would be wise advice to follow," Zev chortled.

They moved cautiously down the left hand tunnel and stopped again as once again it split off into two.

Again both Sabrina and Tristen paused to concentrate, then at the same time pointed to the tunnel on the right. "That way."

Zev grimaced slightly, "Now they're starting to freak me out."

Feeling the odd connection that Sabrina and Tristen were experiencing, Oghren, Anders, and Nate paused and focused on each other. After a moment their jaws dropped, "Andraste's sweet dildo, I can not only sense the two of you, but can anticipate what you're about to do," Anders muttered.

"What the hell is going on?" Tess asked.

Sabrina stepped up to them, "I believe that we are experiencing the way the Old God calls to the darkspawn and also the way the Archdemon issues orders to them through their taint. The closer we get to the Old God I believe that our taint will continue to evolve into a more effective communication tool."

"What makes you believe that?" Anders asked.

Sabrina just shrugged. "I don't know. I just know it's true."

"I'm not feeling this connection. Are you Neria?" Tess asked. The mage shook her head, no.

Sabrina looked around at the Wardens that were experiencing this new found bond. "It's affecting the Wardens that have been with me the longest. As we get closer, you will begin to experience it too," Sabrina stated matter-of-factly.

Tess raised an eyebrow. "Is that just an assumption or a prediction?"

"It's a fact," Sabrina said as she gathered her gear to move out. Both Tess and Neria stared at her, completely flabbergasted.

They found a cave that gave them enough room to move about but the narrow opening made it perfect to defend and decided to set up camp. There was a small alcove at the back and Tristen claimed it instantly while grinning at Sabrina. The evening was a stark change from previous night. All of the Wardens were lost in their own thoughts regarding the day's events and what the possibilities could mean. Tristen had complained about drinking some bad ale and had gone to bed early with a head and stomach ache. Sabrina, still feeling anxious over the day's events and the upcoming confrontation wasn't able to join him until much later. Even then she had been unable to settle down for the night. She tossed and turned and barely slept. Not wanting to wake Tristen, she kissed his cheek then headed out to relieve Nate and Tess who were on guard duty.

"Are you sure, Bean? I don't really feel comfortable leaving you on duty by yourself," Nate said.

Sabrina was about to protest that she could handle herself when Anders stumbled across camp and mumbled, "I'll stay up with her. I can't sleep."

Nate still looked pensive, "Tell you what, you two keep watch here, I'll do a quick patrol, I don't think I could sleep either." He nodded at the two of them and took off into the darkness.

Sabrina smiled at Anders, "You too?"

"Yeah, I don't know why, I just feel restless. No supernatural explanation for this unease," Anders said as he settled beside Sabrina near the fire.

Sabrina laughed, "Nope, sorry. Maybe it's just the normal apprehension that comes before a large battle."

Anders was quiet for a long moment, "So you're expecting this to be a hell of a fight."

"Well, if we reach the Old God first it isn't going to go down without a fight and as you so accurately once said, 'These are Old _Gods_. Do I need to emphasize the God part some more?' It will put up a fight. If we don't reach it first, then we are dealing with an Archdemon that will be calling every one of its darkspawn minions to aid it. The good thing is, it will not have had time to organize its troops."

"Oh, that's the good thing, that's encouraging," Anders said dryly.

They were silent for a while lost in their own thoughts. Anders finally turned to Sabrina, "I don't know if you realize Bree, but you have created something rare and unique here." Anders gestured toward their fellow Wardens. "You treat us like we are your family and although this may sound strange because we are all adults, but on a certain level we view you and Tristen as our parents... our guardians… our defenders. Maker help the person that tries to stand between you and your Wardens. The two of you have worked hard to foster a sense of family and unity, and because you hand pick each of us and attend each and every joining, we are your family... your children. I know that as a Warden that there have been sacrifices that you've had to make, but I wanted you to know that you will never be alone, Bree, and that you are deeply loved."

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she tried to convey her gratitude, but she was at a loss for words. Anders put an arm around her and hugged her. "You don't have to say anything, Bree. Every day your actions speak volumes about how you feel about us. I just thought you needed to hear how we feel about you."

Anders stood up, "Now that I have made you a complete basket case, I'm going to go find Nate, give you some time to compose yourself again."

Sabrina nodded gratefully and watched as Anders strolled away. "Who would have thought an apostate terrorist could have the heart of a poet?" Tristen asked as he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.

Sabrina giggled, "I thought you were asleep. You heard what he said?"

"I had a bad dream and yes, I heard most of it, I have to say I look damn good for having a child as old as Anders and obviously Oghren got his looks from your side of the family," Tristen chuckled.

"Ouch," Tristen yelped as Sabrina smacked him.

"I'm telling Fergus you said that," Sabrina teased.

"You wouldn't dare! He'll have me spar against all of Highever's guards dressed like a bar wench; surely you love me too much to see your brother do that to me, right?"

"Humph, maybe." Sabrina grinned roguishly at him.

He ran his hand underneath her chin, raised her head to face him, he leaned down, brushed his lips against her throat that sent a tremor through her. "You don't mean that, Brin. Let me remind you how much you love me," he whispered as his lips captured hers and kissed her like a man possessed; as if he was tasting her for the last time. He deepened the kiss as his tongue tangled with hers and a groan escaped his lips when she arched her body against him.

This beautiful man never failed to excite her; the feel of his lips, the warmth of his hands made her body ache with desire. "Aaah, you said that you had a bad dream. Are you sure about that?" She moaned against his lips.

He looked down into her eyes with an expression that combined love, tenderness and desire so fiercely that it made her head spin. 'Y-yes," he replied breathlessly as he quickly stood, pulled her to him and scooped her into his arms. "And now I need you to help wash the disturbing memory away."

He carried her toward their private area that they had secured for themselves just as Anders returned to camp. "All clear. Where are you two…" His voice trailed off as Tristen completely ignored the mage. "Oh don't worry about me… I'll keep everyone here at camp safe… all by myself… no worries… gotcha covered."

"Yes, because I'm not here, I'm just an hallucination," Nate said wryly from behind him and smacked the back of his head.

"Ouch, sorry, didn't see you there!" Anders said hastily.

**xxXxx**

The following day when Anders and Neria lifted the repulsion and barrier spells, all of the Wardens felt the call of the Old God intensify. As they moved rapidly through the tunnels they could also feel the taint from the darkspawn. Always somewhere nearby, always trying to get ahead of them, but the fiends were never visible as they all raced toward their final destination. They were occasionally held up by spider webs that were magically reinforced. After close examination Anders determined that the magic used on the webs was old and powerful magic, and it required both Anders and Neria working together to break the enchantments. It was as if something or someone was trying to impede their progress; that knowledge made both Tristen and Sabrina edgy.

On the surface, Sabrina looked calm and in control, but as they drew ever nearer to the Old God, the Song growing in strength, Tristen could feel Sabrina's anxiety grow and he just prayed that no one else could feel her dread. He knew they were close as that haunting serenade began to pierce their ears and Oghren even cursed the ancestors for the uncomfortable pressure that was building.

The tunnel ended at a ledge, high up in a large cave. Two narrow bridges ran parallel to each other, crossing over the deep ravine and led to a large platform on the opposite side. They could see another large tunnel leading out and Tristen instinctively knew it would lead to the cavern that held the Old God. Sabrina motioned for everyone to stop while she took in the new surroundings. She glanced around the cave before she cautiously advanced forward onto the left-hand bridge and signaled for the group to follow her. They had made it half way across when a loud cry rose from behind them. They spun just in time to see a large group of darkspawn materialize and advance across the other bridge. Their archers and emissaries began attacking, and Nate, Anders and Neria immediately returned fire. Zev managed to grab Sabrina and pulled her down with him, just as an arrow narrowly missed her.

"Bella mia, when is it going to be your turn to save me for a change?" The assassin asked, helping her to her feet again.

"I saved your life by not killing you after you tried to kill me," Sabrina retorted.

Zev chuckled, "Oh that's right, I don't know how I forgot that little fact."

They continued to race across the gorge when from behind them a deafening scream filled the air, Sabrina and Tristen spun around just in time to witness Neria grasp at the arrow that was protruding from her chest as she lost her footing and begin to fall backwards. Anders grabbed for her and clasped desperately to the edge of her robe, but her weight was too much, the material gave way and Neria plunged to a ledge that was at least twenty feet below the bridge, silencing the mage's cries when her body slammed against the stone floor.

"Neria," Sabrina cried out as she raced to the edge and looked down at the semiconscious mage. She spun around and looked at Nate, "Retrieve that rope that you brought and lower me down to her."

Nate hesitated as he looked at Sabrina and at the darkspawn that were rapidly crossing the opposite bridge as they raced toward the cavern that held the Old God. "Bean, we don't have time to go down there and get her. We can still beat the darkspawn to the Old God, but we have to go now!" Nate exclaimed.

Tristen watched as Sabrina's expression went from stunned to horrified to outrage in a matter of seconds. "Nathaniel Allen Howe, I know that you are not suggesting that I leave one of my Wardens to die."

"That is exactly what I am saying Bree. We have to reach the Old God before the darkspawn do and to do that we have to leave now. I'm sorry, I like Neria, but our mission is kill the Old God before the darkspawn reach it. It's unfortunate that Neria took that arrow, but she knew the dangers when she came into the Deep Roads."

"Bree, Nate is right. Our mission is to kill the Old God. We can come back for her after we completed our mission." Anders tried to reason.

Sabrina set her jaw and stared at her fellow Wardens, "Anders, I know Neria isn't one of your favorite people, but…"

Anders interrupted her, "BREE! Stop this. It has nothing to do with my personal history with Neria and everything to do with our mission. The whole reason we are here… the whole reason I am away from Mari and my children. We are here to kill the Old God or the Archdemon. I am sorry that Neria fell, but we have a mission to finish. Justice was right, you love us too much. That is your weakness as a leader. You allow yourself to feel too much for those you lead."

Rage flashed through Sabrina's eyes. "That's bullshit and you know it Anders! If it was Nate, Tess or Oghren down there you wouldn't be arguing with me to let them die. You would be doing whatever you could to save them."

"You're wrong, Commander, because it's more important for you to reach the Old God before the darkspawn do. Because we need you to live," Oghren stated.

Sabrina closed her eyes as she tried to rein in her anger. Through gritted teeth she hissed, "That's what this is about? The importance of my life over another Warden's; you have got to be kidding me. Her life is no less valuable then mine. She is a Warden and we do not leave our brothers and sisters behind. Isn't that right, Tristen?"

Tristen's heart pounded in his chest. He loved his wife, but damn if she wasn't the most stubborn woman he had ever met. There had to be a way to make her see reason. "Brin, we are Wardens. We have sworn an oath to protect the lives of the many against the darkspawn and Maker forbid against an Archdemon. Our first priority is to fulfill that mission and defeat the Archdemon."

Hurt now flashed through her eyes as she looked at him and he knew that she felt that he had betrayed her by not siding with her, but he would do whatever it took to try and save her. She quickly recovered and she set her hardened glare on him. "If there was an Archdemon to defend against then you would be correct that defeating it would be my first priority, but as of now there is no Archdemon and as Warden Commander my first priority is to go into battle as strong as possible to ensure victory. Whether we are facing an Old God or the Archdemon we need as many able body soldiers going in as possible. She isn't dead yet and I won't leave her behind. We leave no man... or woman behind."

She spun around and glared at Anders, "I stood up to the Knight Commander for you and in order to keep you safe I risked the backlash of harboring a wanted terrorist apostate. Do you think I did that because you're special Anders? Let me answer that for you…NO! I did it because you're my brother, I love you and I would do everything in my power to save you." She turned again and faced the other Wardens that were gathered around her and she pointed to each and every one of them. "I would do that for you Nate, and Tess, and for you Oghren, Zev and Tristen; not because your life is more important than the Warden standing beside you, but because you are my family. I would risk and sacrifice everything for those that I call my brothers and sisters and I expect nothing less from those that serve with me. If that is too much for you then if we make it out of here alive, then you are free to leave me and the Wardens."

Tears stung Tristen's eyes as he silently pleaded with her not to do this, for once to put herself first instead of family. But as he looked into the eyes of his beautiful wife, he knew she would never abandon her Wardens, even if the price was her life. That made him love her even more. He hung his head in defeat and embarrassment. He knew she was right, he knew the moral thing to do was save Neria, but he also knew it would cost him his wife and he had allowed his own selfish desires to control his decisions.

"S-sabrina is correct. We don't abandon our brothers and sisters, but we can delay the darkspawn's progress. Anders, can you bring those boulders down on the bridge impeding their path?" Tristen asked as he closed his eyes in resignation that he was going to lose his wife.

Anders grinned at him, "Not a problem." Anders raised his staff and rapidly cast several stonefist spells in a row; weakening the rocks above the opposite bridge, forcing them to crash down and block the darkspawn's path.

"Nate, get the rope and let's quickly get to work," Tristen ordered.

"Tristen, I want you to take Tess and Zev and scout ahead. Let us know what we are facing," Sabrina ordered.

Tristen looked at her with deep sadness. "Glad your thinking like a Commander once again," he said bitterly.

Sabrina took his hand in hers, "I'm sorry. You don't have to always agree with me and I don't expect you to, but I do need you to trust me. I haven't failed you yet, have I?"

"I just pray this isn't the first time, Brin, because if you're wrong it will cost me everything in this life that is important to me. Duty or not, war and Archdemon be damned, it would kill me if I lost you," Tristen said solemnly as he tried to gather his grief and push it aside so that he could focus on the mission.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and heard Zevran reassuringly whisper, "She wouldn't be Sabrina if she didn't put their lives ahead of her own. That is why you love her."

Tristen could barely acknowledge the statement, it gave him little comfort and he gave a curt nod. There wasn't anything anyone could say to stop the heartache that was crashing down on him. The only hope that he had was that somehow his nightmare from last night was true.

"Tess, Zev you're with me. Let's go scout the passage ahead and see what is down there," Tristen said. They gathered their things and made their way across the bridge. As he passed by his wife he tenderly caressed her face and silently begged her to live.

Nate and Oghren lowered both Anders and Sabrina to the ledge below. Anders immediately began to work on Neria. Her injuries were extensive and she had lost a lot of blood. By the time that Anders had gone through two bottles of lyrium, Neria was starting to regain consciousness. Sabrina was just starting to relax when a group of corrupt spiders appeared on the ledge and attacked. Sabrina leapt to her feet, drew her weapons to confront the creatures as Anders cast a protective barrier around him and Neria, so that he could continue to work on her. From above Nate rapidly shot a hail of arrows at the spiders as Sabrina nimbly attacked them, but their numbers were increasing.

Oghren seized the rope to slide down to the ledge as another corrupt spider joined the fray, but this one began to attack the larger group of creatures giving Sabrina the advantage that she needed. She jumped onto the back of one of the spiders, driving her blade through its neck. As the fiend was going down, she leapt onto the beast next to her. The spider began to buck, but Sabrina stabbed into the creature's back, twisting her weapon to keep from falling off, as it jumped and reared in it's death throes. Oghren joined the fight as Nate continued to fire from above. Sabrina called up and ordered him not to take out the one spider that was fending off the larger group. Within minutes, the fight was over and the creature that had offered them aid quickly retreated into the dark recesses of the cavern.

They made their way over to Anders and Neria, the young mage smiled weakly up at Sabrina, "You came back for me. Why?"

Sabrina extended her hand down and helped Neria to her feet, "Because when you joined my Wardens, we take care of our own and we never leave a live Warden behind."

"But the Old God?" Neria questioned.

Sabrina grinned, touched her ear, indicating for her to listen, "It's still singing. So let's get the hell out of this pit and go kill us an ancient deity."

The Wardens regrouped and made their way across the bridge and entered the narrow tunnel that channeled them to entrance of the primeval sanctuary where Tristen, Zev and Tess were waiting for them.

Tristen looked over his shoulder and saw Neria alive and well. He smiled dubiously at Sabrina, "Well, I'm glad that worked out. There are about ten darkspawn in the chamber, but there is a magical barrier that is protecting the slumbering Old God but they haven't figured out how to break through yet."

Sabrina nodded, drifted into the shadows and stepped inside the cavern. The chamber was lit by torches and candles and in the center of the room on a large dais rested a sleeping high dragon surrounded by a glowing magical barrier.

Sabrina stepped back out into the tunnel and quietly began issuing orders.

"Anders and Neria, see what you can do about that barrier, but I don't want it brought down until all of the darkspawn in this room are taken care of," Sabrina instructed. Both of the mages nodded as they reached out magically to the barricade probing it for weaknesses.

"Nate, I want you to rain some hell fire down on them so that Tristen, Tess and Oghren can attack from the front while Zev and I flank from the rear," Sabrina said.

Nate smiled, "Hell fire is my specialty."

Silently the group moved back into the chamber following Sabrina's orders and the seasoned Wardens quickly dispatched the darkspawn. When the last fiend had fallen, Sabrina spun and looked at the Mages. "Well, what do you have for me?"

Anders grinned, "I believe that we have a little hell fire of our own." He looked at Neria who grinned back and nodded.

"You might want to back right off, unless you want a permanent sun burn," Anders said. Everyone immediately moved to the perimeter of the room.

Anders swung his arms forward and a burst of fire sprung forth from both his hands and from above the platform. It was one of the most hellacious firestorms that Tristen had ever witnessed; he wiped the sweat from his forehead and moved even closer to the tunnel's entrance, pulling Sabrina with him. The heat from the fire began to make the barrier wave and flex underneath the extreme heat. Anders pulled the flames back and both mages cast a cone of cold on the barrier, instantly freezing it and making it brittle. Stonefist spells followed, until the barrier cracked and then shattered. The beast continued to slumber.

Tristen breathed a sigh of relief; maybe everything was going to work out, maybe she might make it out of this alive. Sabrina ordered the mages and Nate to maintain their distance, but to form a circle around the dais. On her signal they were to cast their best paralyzing spells at the Old God; once the beast was awake, Nate was to use suppressing fire to try and keep the monster in place so the warriors could move in for a closer attack. Sabrina would get to the dragon's back so that she had a better angle to reach its neck, while Zev attacked from beneath, aiming for the beast's heart.

Sabrina gave the signal and both mages simultaneously cast crushing prison at the dragon. The beast roared to life, but was momentarily unable to move. Nate rained arrows down on it as the warriors moved in. Sabrina swiftly moved up the stairs of the dais readying herself to pounce, when the strange corrupt spider from before, sprung from above to halt her progress.

Tristen watched as his wife gave the creature a knowing smile, "You have helped me up to this point, why attack me now?"

The spider bucked and screeched at Sabrina, but his wife continued to smile, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you, old friend, but I will if you continue to stand in my way."

"She played her part and held you up long enough for me to make my appearance," a high pitched voice came from behind them. Everyone stopped and spun to see the new arrival.

An extremely tall and broad Hurlock had entered the sanctuary followed by a small platoon of darkspawn. The talking Hurlock slowly advanced on them, "I'm glad I arrived just as the fun was about to begin."

"Great more talking darkspawn. Just what we needed," Anders replied dryly.

"If you've seen one talking darkspawn, you've seen them all and you'll die just as easily as the others," Nate stated as he pulled back his bow, ready for Sabrina to issue the order.

"Who the hell are you?" Sabrina asked.

"I'm the Inquisitor," it replied.

"The Mother and the Architect are dead, why seek me out?" Sabrina said.

"Because you are powerful, your blood is powerful and if you are allowed to live, your destiny will be even more powerful. You must be stopped. You must die," it answered calmly.

"Over my dead body," Tristen bellowed and moved beside his wife.

It smiled at them. "Oh, that can be arranged." It gave an unseen signal and the darkspawn swarmed the dais.

"Protect the Old God. Do not let any of them touch it," Sabrina cried out as she leapt back and then sprang at two oncoming genlocks knocking them to the ground. She ignored them, scanned the room and found her target. The Inquisitor was edging around the back of the Old God practically unnoticed. Sabrina slipped into the shadows and came up behind the Hurlock, she pulled her dagger back to drive it into the creature, but the fiend must have sensed her and spun away just in time.

"You are too late," it taunted as it raced for the Old God.

"Bree, whatever you're going to do, do it quickly, we can't hold it much longer," Anders cried out in anguish.

"Release it," she yelled and just as the Inquisitor reached out for the dragon, it roared a deafening cry and launched itself straight up in the air. Sabrina watched it rise and perch itself on a ledge, her eyes widened as she yelled, "Find cover!"

The Wardens immediately abandoned their skirmishes and ducked for cover just as the dragon blew fire down killing the darkspawn that remained around the dais. The Old God roared again, but this time words reverberated in their heads, "You will not change me as you changed my brothers. I will not allow it."

Tristen was stunned by its declaration. He looked over at Sabrina and saw the shocked look on her face too. The remaining darkspawn began to fire arrows and spells at the Old God trying to force it to land.

"Anders, Nate, stop them from firing on the dragon," Tristen commanded and they quickly obeyed.

He turned back to Sabrina just in time to watch in horror as she sprinted across the room, leapt onto a vine that ascended up the chamber wall toward the ledge that the Old God rested on and swiftly began to climb. About five feet above her, the Inquisitor was racing toward the ledge. Sabrina was quicker, more agile and she rapidly gained on the Hurlock. She grabbed at his boot, but as he swung his sword at her arm, she had to snatch her hand back. He hastily scrambled up the remainder of the vine to the stone shelf and clasped the edge. Feet dangling in the air, the hurlock began to work his way toward the center where the dragon was perched. By the time Sabrina made it to the ledge, the Inquisitor had almost reached the deity.

"Noooo!" Tristen cried out in terror as Sabrina gave a powerful swing on the vine and soared at the Hurlock, latching herself around his waist. One of the beast's hands lost its grip and now only held on to the ledge with one hand, while Sabrina clutched at his middle.

"Anders," Tristen cried out.

"I know! I see her!" Anders cried out.

In the next second, an irreversible chain reaction began; Anders cast a levitation spell on both the Hurlock and Sabrina which allowed the Inquisitor to swing his hand up and touch the paw of the Old God. Everyone covered their ears and stumbled back as an earthshattering cry of agony rang out.

The deity died and the Archdemon was born.

* * *

A/N – This chapter was a difficult chapter to write because of all of the action that was involved. I can't thank my awesomtastic betas RandomWittering and Jinx1983 for helping work through several of these demanding scenes. You two are the best and I am grateful that you are in my life. A big thank you Random for questioning and challenging me on the bridge scene; that scene is strong because of her thought-provoking arguments. I appreciate you caring enough about the story to tell me when you think I am wrong…even if I disagree with you. ; ) You pushing me made that scene better. Thank you!

*I also want to thank everyone who follows this story, who added this story to their favorites list, and for your wonderful reviews. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

*"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother" - Abraham Lincoln - Happy Mother's Day!


	12. Chapter 12 When I'm Gone

**Disclaimer:** There is a part in this chapter where an incantation is being done I wanted everyone to know it's not a real spell even though it's in Latin. Thank you and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 12

"So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared, and love me when I'm gone

Everything I am and everything in me

Wants to be the one, you wanted me to be

I'll never let you down, even if I could

I'd give up everything, if only for your good

So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

You won't always be there, so love me when I'm gone"

_When I'm Gone by 3 Doors Down_

The death cries of the Old God were painful for the Wardens to listen to, but the birth shrill of the Archdemon drove the Wardens to their knees. Tormented, they covered their ears trying to stifle the roar, as visions of fire, hordes of darkspawn and the Archdemon seared into their brains.

Before being driven to his knees, Anders managed to get Sabrina safely to the ground. As she landed, she immediately rolled out of the Hurlock's reach. Even with the agonizing pain in her head and ears, Sabrina brought up her sword as the Inquisitor advanced on her. "Warden, you have served your purpose, you're war is over, and now so is your life."

"The hell you say. Let me show you the inquisition I had in mind," Tess grunted through clenched teeth as she swung her sword and removed the Hurlock's head. She grinned at her friend and pulled her to her feet just as Tristen reached them.

"Are you okay?" he gasped.

"Never better Love, but our problems are just beginning," Sabrina said. As if on cue the Archdemon roared again and then flew down to the dais. Tristen was caught off guard by the transformation of the Old God, from a frightening, yet graceful and dignified ancient being to a corrupt, distorted replica of itself. The evil beast that stood before them now, was the most terrifying, horrific thing he had ever laid his eyes on and its malevolent presence shocked Tristen to his core. This was the monster that was going to try to take his wife's life; he could not… he _would_not let that happen.

Without missing a beat, Sabrina began issuing orders, "Nate, Anders and Neria fall back. It's calling its generals to come aid it, but it will take them a few minutes to get here. When they arrive do your best to keep them off us for as long as possible; until then primal and elemental spells work the best on it. Oghren, Tristen and Tess attack it from the sides and always be aware of its tail and mouth. Zev, same plan as before; you attack below and I will attack from above."

At first, the battle went well and between the spells and the melee attacks they had inflicted a significant amount of damage, but things had begun to rapidly deteriorate when the generals showed up. The mages and Nate had been able to keep them off them for a while, but as the mages became drained, the shields and barriers were becoming harder and harder for them to sustain. Tristen, Oghren and Tess had to avert their attention from the Archdemon and fend off the darkspawn attacks, but Tristen always kept Sabrina in his line of sight. From above, the spider descended and joined the battle, helping fight against the onslaught of darkspawn that was attempting to pour into the room. The spider erected a magical web across the entrance, blocking the only path into the chamber. It then began to attack the generals leading the charge.

The battle raged on for what felt like hours and every muscle in Tristen's body was screaming for relief. He reached out through the taint for Sabrina and felt excitement pulsing through her veins. He glanced around and saw that she and Zev were fighting off a Genlock and two Hurlocks, but the two rogues quickly dispensed of the monsters before he could even offer them aid. What he saw next struck fear into his heart. Zev cupped his hands and with her weapons drawn Sabrina stepped into the make shift sling. Zev then quickly propelled Sabrina up into the air where she dug her daggers into the beast's side. The dragon roared in pain as Sabrina climbed her way up, pulling her daggers out and then plunging them back in as she pulled her way up its back. She had just reached the monster's shoulders when it reared on its back legs, fire bolts shooting from its mouth; Sabrina clung to the protruding pommels as it desperately tried to shake her off. It bucked and then reared again. As the dragon came back down, Sabrina lost her grip and was flung over its head. She landed with a sickening hard thud on the stone floor.

Just as the dragon launched for her, Anders cast a protective barrier around her that deflected the monster's paws as they crashed down. Sabrina rolled to her side and came up on her feet beside a dead emissary that had a sword stuck in its chest. With her daggers still wedged in the Archdemon she pulled the sword from the dead darkspawn and as the dragon reared again, Sabrina charged the beast, then slid under it on her knees with the sword extended upward, driving the blade in deep and slicing its belly open. The beast roared again as it fell onto its side; Sabrina staggered to her feet beside the dying creature, she raised the sword, closed her eyes and drew in a breath.

"SABRINA, NO!" Tristen cried as he rushed toward her, but it was if he was running in quick sand, he couldn't reach her fast enough.

She turned, smiled that radiant smile of hers at him, "I love you, Tristen," she yelled over top the battle and drove the blade into the heart of the Archdemon. A blinding light shot out, surrounding her and the beast as Tristen watched in shock and horror as the light enveloped her. He heard the clang of swords falling to the ground and in the distance the anguished howl of grief from an Antivan Assassin just as the bright light pulsated then burst forth with the most powerful force he had ever experienced, throwing him against the wall.

Tristen could faintly hear noises in the background as he slowly regained consciousness; he forced his eyes to open as he tried to focus his blurry vision on his surroundings. There were moans and cries of pain coming from those nearby him and he struggled to recall how he had ended up in a heap on the floor. The last thing he remembered…oh shit! He instantly sat up and winced from the sharp pain he felt in his chest as he gasped for breath. He focused on the room; Anders and Neria were strewn together in a nearby corner, but he could see that Anders was beginning to stir. Tess was struggling to help an injured Nate sit up; he didn't see Zev or Oghren anywhere. Then his eyes fell on a bloody and tattered body that was lying at the bottom of the dais.

"NO!" he cried out as he scrambled to his feet, staggered over to her then collapsed to his knees beside her as pulled her limp body into his arms, his tears splashed down, mixing with her blood that now stained her beautiful face. He tried to wipe away the crimson taint, but there was just so much of it. He cradled her tightly against his chest and rocked her. She felt so light in his arms like a doll; he brushed a streak of white hair that now ran through her hair out of her face. _Please, please don't be dead. Please Brin, you can't leave me, Love. __I can't and don't want to live this life without you. I need more time with you, I need more of you. Please baby, please, please don't leave me yet.__  
_  
Flashes of their life together began to flicker through his mind. He remembered the first time he saw her in Alistair's dream, he thought she was the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen and when she smiled his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. At that moment, he had fallen hopelessly in love with her before he even knew her name. He spent three angst filled nights before Alistair dreamed of her again. He remembered the way she looked at him the first time she realized he wasn't Alistair – there had been anger, fear and wonder. It was the last that had given him hope. The image of her on the bluff playfully kicking at him for making a sexist remark, the gleam in her eyes the first time she sparred against him, the sound of her laugh when she giggled at her own jokes, the feel of her in his arms as he danced with her, the way her eyes sparked as she made her way down the aisle on their wedding day…_It just not enough, Brin. Eight years isn't enough time, please Love, I need more of you._

"I need more of you, I need more of you, I need more of you, I need more of you," he chanted as he rocked her in his arms.

In the distance he heard the continuous wail of agonized grief, but he couldn't pinpoint the source of the heart achingly pitiful sobs until he recognized the sound of his own voice as he cried out again and again in heartbreak. His whole body shook with sorrow, his agony having reached the point of physical pain.

Anders rushed over to him and tried to take her out of his arms, but Tristen fought him. No one was ever going to take her from him again as he clung to her with desperation wanting to remember and never forget the feel of her in his arms. He buried his head in her hair and breathed her in. Even after weeks in the deep roads she smelled wonderful to him. He clung to her as pain rocked his body.

"Tristen, let me see her," Anders begged.

"NO! Go away, she's mine," Tristen said as he pushed Anders away from him.

"Tristen, please, she isn't dead yet. Let me heal her," Anders pleaded.

Tristen focused on the mage, "What?"

"She is still alive. I can feel her heart beating faintly. Let me work on her!" Anders demanded.

Tristen gently sat her down. Neria joined Anders side as the mages immediately began casting healing spells.

Tristen paced the room as they urgently worked on her. It felt as if they had been trying to heal her for days and she didn't seem to be getting any better. _Please Maker, please don't let her die. Please don't take her from me.__  
_  
Helped by Tess and Nate, Zev and Oghren made their way over to were the mages were working on her urgently. Zev rested his hand on Tristen's shoulder, "She lives?" He asked hopefully.

"Barely," Tristen replied.

"Damn it," Anders hissed as he downed another vial of lyrium.

"What's wrong?" Tristen demanded.

"The major arteries that feed the blood to her brain are blocked; the moment that we unblock them her body rejects the magic and the healing and starts to reseal the arteries. It has to be an effect of her body absorbing the soul of the Archdemon. It's taking everything we have just to keep the blood flowing to her brain," Neria explained. She took a deep breath before she continued. "B-but Tristen, we can't keep this up forever; we're eventually going to run out of lyrium."

"N-no, please you have to save her. There has to be something you can do," Tristen pleaded.

Anders shook his head, "There is an old magic ritual that works with a potion that magnifies magic, allowing the body to absorb healing five times faster, but I have only seen the ritual done, I've never performed it myself and I don't think it will work without the potion which I don't have."

"Still try it without the potion," Tristen implored.

Anders looked at him sympathetically, "It could kill her."

"She's dying anyway. If you don't try it she will surely die when you run out of lyrium," Tristen asserted.

"I might be able to help," a cool voice came from behind them.

The group spun to look at a scantily clad raven haired woman step out of the shadows.

Tristen gasped, "You? You're real?" Zev eyed him suspiciously.

The woman smiled alluringly at him, "Yes, Tristen I am very real."

"Well, if it isn't the Swamp Witch, I was wondering how long it would take you to gather enough guts to get out of your spidey form and show your face. What the sodding hell are you doing here? Feeling bad for running out on the Commander the last time we faced an Archdemon, so you decided to make amends," Oghren grunted.

The witch smiled coolly at Oghren, "Something like that dwarf. I have the potion you need, I know the ritual, with all three of us casting the spell at the same time, it will be enough to save her and bring her back perfectly normal."

Tristen peered at her skeptically, "How do you know it will work?"

"After the battle of Ostagar my mother performed the ritual on her and your brother. I believe that worked fine for both of them," the witch replied as she watched Tristen's face ripple with shock.

"Didn't pick that up in one of your dreams?" She questioned.

"H-how do you know…"

Zev stepped forward interrupting Tristen. "As fascinating as this conversation is, I do believe we have more pressing matters. My lovely, Morrigan, any aid you could offer our dear Warden would be much appreciated," Zev said.

Morrigan stepped forward and held out a vial that contained a purple liquid to Anders. "Anders," Morrigan said calmly. At the mention of his name, Anders head snapped up as he eyed her guardedly, but she continued, unaffected by his apprehension. "If you could force her to drink this I will set-up what is needed for the ritual."

Anders nodded, took the vial, and gently lifted Sabrina's head as he slowly poured small quantities of the potion into her mouth. Neria continued to cast healing spells while Morrigan pulled candles from her bag, arranged them in a strange formation in the area around Sabrina and then magically light them. Once Anders finished giving Sabrina the potion he laid her head tenderly back down. Morrigan stood near Sabrina's head and instructed Neria and Anders to stand on either side of her.

"After I finish the ritual, on my signal the three of us need to cast our strongest resurrection spell…"

"Why a resurrection spell? She isn't dead," Tess asked.

Morrigan glared at the warrior for interrupting. "Because technically she is dead and the only thing that is keeping her alive is magic; pull the magic and she dies. Now we have work to do and if you would like us to be successful, please prevent your impatient, inquisitive tongue from wagging like a dogs tail," Morrigan said dryly.

"Well, they weren't lying. She is definitely a bitch," Tess whispered to Zev.

He smiled, "Yes, but the most powerful witch bitch I know."

"As I was saying, on my signal cast your most powerful resurrection spell then wait for me to give the next signal and then cast your strongest healing spell. Anders, you're a strong healer, better than Wynne I think, I am going to need you to give it everything you have, so if you need lyrium now is the time to take it."

Anders grabbed a bottle and handed one to Neria, both mages quickly downed it as Morrigan sprinkled some type of ash over top of Sabrina's body and began to recite an incantation:  
Reverse fac clock, reportat tergum quis quondam eram mei  
Sana quod auditus, change vultus intentio  
Servo quis has been lost, reportat tergum quis quondam eram mei

As she recited the incantation several times, the flames on the candles grew brighter and a wind began to blow inside the air tight chamber. Tristen watched as Anders eyes grew wider with fascination and awe. Morrigan pointed to the two mages and cried out, "Now."

All three mages simultaneously cast a resurrection spell; Tristen felt the hair on the back of his neck rise as the air filled with an invisible electric current. Morrigan cried out again, "NOW!" And together the mages cast a healing spell, Tristen watched as Anders' body shuddered as the power flowed through his hands towards his wife. Sabrina's body began to tremble and shake, but then she went completely limp again and fell back lifelessly against the ground. Tristen felt his heart shatter.

Morrigan knelt down and ran her hands over Sabrina's body. A sly grin spread across the apostate's face, "She lives and I do believe that she gaining consciousness."

Tristen fell to his knees beside her and clasped her hand. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to focus on her surroundings. She rubbed her head as she muttered, "I had really hoped for a softer bed when I made it to the Golden City."

Tristen laughed as tears of joy filled his eyes. "Well, you may still get that wish when you make it there, but for now you're going to have to settle on continuing to share that lumpy bed with me."

She focused her eyes on him, "Tristen? I'm not dead?"

"No my Love, you're not dead, but you did do an excellent job of impersonating a dead person," Tristen replied

"Is the Archdemon dead?" Sabrina asked. Tristen nodded.

"Then how? How am I still alive?" Sabrina demanded.

All eyes turned to Tristen and then to Morrigan as she walked up to the Commander.

Sabrina's eyes instantly hardened when she saw the witch and she glared at Tristen. "What did you do?" She hissed through clenched teeth.

**xxXxx**

**The Night Before the Final Battle**

_Tristen stood in the cave staring at the apostate mage that had suddenly appeared before him. He had never met Sabrina's blight companion, but he re__cognized her from the few times she had appeared in Alistair's dreams…more like Alistair's nightmares. _

"_Brother, there is a reason that she had a starring role in all my bad dreams. Hell you could interchange her and the Archdemon and it would be the sa__me dream," Alistair said as he walked up behind him._

"_Oh look, the idiot King has come to join our little party, I don't remember inviting you. Would it be too much to ask for you to leave?" Morrigan inquired._

_"Yes it would, because the last thing I wan__t is to make all your wishes come true," Alistair retorted._

"_She has a way to save Sabrina," Tristen said._

"_Tristen you can't trust her. Morrigan is only out for Morrigan. If she says that some ritual will save Bree's life than there is something in it __for her," Alistair insisted._

"_My, my, my__,__ did you actually grow a brain between those large ears of yours," Morrigan cooed coolly._

"_Hey, my ears aren't large," Alistair grumbled._

"_Is he correct? Is there a catch?" Tristen asked cautiously._

"_Yes, your b__rother is uncharacteristically perceptive. There is an old magic ritual that will allow Sabrina to live when she slays the Archdemon. It will ensure that the essence of the Archdemon will not attach itself to Sabrina," Morrigan said._

"_How?" Tristen dema__nded._

"_You lay with me tonight…"_

"_You mean he has sex with you? Yuck, that's just gross," Alistair interjected._

_"Sounds like the poor idiot King is jealous, but you missed your chance when you walked out on Sabrina the last time she faced an Archdemon.__ Tsk Tsk, that's such bad form," Morrigan chided. _

_Alistair's face reddened and he was about to respond when Tristen cut him off. "Alistair, please now is not the time. Morrigan, please continue," Tristen said patiently._

"_You and I would have sex whil__e a magical ritual is performed, from our union a child will be conceived, the child will bear the taint and like beacon the Archdemon's soul will seek out the child. At this early stage the child will absorb the essence and not die. The Archdemon will b__e dead and Sabrina will live," Morrigan explained._

"_And the child? What becomes of the child? Is it now a darkspawn?" Tristen asked._

"_Not at all, it becomes something different: a child born with the soul of an Old God," Morrigan said._

"_Tristen you can__'t seriously be thinking about doing this? Are you insane?" Alistair said._

_Tristen wheeled on his brother, his eyes half crazed. "YES, I AM! I am about to lose my wife. The only woman that I have ever loved; the only woman that makes any of this worthw__hile, so yes the thought of losing her is driving me a little __mad__."_

"_Tristen there has to be another way," Alistair said._

"_There isn't and you know it so don't you dare judge me when you know you would do anything to save her too. You're just glad Mor__rigan is asking me to perform this ritual and not you. At least you don't even love your wife," Tristen retorted bitterly._

_Alistair lowered his head. "I do love Anora, not the way I love Bree, but I do love her, but you're right I would do anything to s__ave Bree." Alistair ran his hands through his hair, he stepped forward and place a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Let me do the ritual for you. That way you don't have to forsake your marriage vows to her and she will be pissed at me not you for sleepi__ng with the witch."_

_Tristen's eyes widened in shocked, "Alistair, I can't ask you to do this. This is my burden; it's my wife t__hat will die. Besides this is __just a dream, it's not real."_

"_You don't believe that or you wouldn't even be debating the iss__ue. Tristen, you and I both know that after the betrayal that she felt with me, she will never be able to forgive you for doing this, even if it is to save her life. You will still lose her in the end," Alistair reasoned._

"_But she would be alive and I c__ould live with the knowledge that she lived even if it was without me in her life," Tristen said resigned._

"_But you don't need to. I'm a Warden, I can save her and keep your marriage intact. Please brother, you once risked everything to try and save me. __Let me repay you by saving the woman that we both love, and your marriage," Alistair begged._

"_You would do this for me and for her; you would sleep with a woman you despise to save her," Tristen asked in awe._

"_Yes…I love her and you. I want her to live__, I want her be happy and she will only be happy with you in her life. Please let me do this for her. I have caused her so much pain, let me help make it up to her by doing this for the both of you," Alistair begged._

_Tristen embraced his brother, "Thank __you, Alistair. You moved me beyond words, but I can't allow you to do this. Sabrina is my wife and this decision is my responsibility."_

"_Well__ look at __that, __the brat King all grown up and acting like a man. How very noble of you, Alistair, but your idea would__n't work because I am not physically near you. I have been trailing the Wardens in the Deep Roads for weeks. Tristen's physical body is mere inches from me. Your beautiful wife is having an emotional chat with the apostate, so if you are going to agree __to__ this Tristen, now is the time,__" Morrigan said._

_Tristen nodded in agreement and Alistair faded from view. _

Tristen felt every pair of eyes burning into him. "I didn't do anything, it...I thought it was a dream," he replied.

"I don't believe that," Sabrina hissed. "If I am alive and Morrigan is here that can only mean that you performed the dark ritual with her. A ritual I turned down the first time she offered it."

"You only refused because you were on a suicide mission," Morrigan interjected. "You and I both know that if it had been Alistair's life on the line you would have found a way to convince him to go through with the ritual. As it turns out, all these years later, the idiot King is still willing do anything to save you, but I needed his physical body present and since he couldn't save you from yourself, your husband did."

"What ritual?" Anders asked.

Sabrina's eyes filled with tears in a broken whisper she asked, "I can't believe y-you slept with her."

"WHAT!" Everyone exclaimed in unison.

"Bree, you have to believe me. I thought it was a dream. Even when I woke up, I was still in my small clothes just as I was when I went to sleep."

Sabrina looked at Morrigan and witch just shrugged, "What can I say, I cleaned up after myself. I didn't want to arouse your suspicions. I knew you were already beginning to suspect that it was I that was aiding you in the tunnels. I needed you to remain in the dark until the Old God had been changed."

Sabrina's eyes narrowed as she hissed, "You purposely slowed our progress, you risked the possibility of another Blight, you seduced my husband all for your own selfish goals."

"There are things in motion that are beyond your imagination or comprehension. This child will help ensure that there is a possible future," Morrigan exclaimed.

"Why don't you give me a try, Morrigan. I have a pretty good imagination and I think I am of above average intelligence. Why didn't you come to me with this scary future and let me decide about my future and my husband's. I'll tell you why, because you are a self center bitch!" Sabrina declared. Her gaze narrowed in on Tristen, "And you, you expect me to believe that you had sex with her in a dream and now she is pregnant!"

"I did believe it was a dream, but on some level I prayed that it wasn't because I wanted you to live, Brin, so yes, I made the decision to perform the dark ritual to save your life. If it cost me you being in my life then I will somehow have to learn to live with that, but at least you're alive and I won't regret keeping you that way," Tristen said solemnly.

"Well, at least he is man enough to own up to his actions. And just for the record Sabrina, it was a combination of a magical sex elixir and a spell that allowed me to seduce your husband. He made the decision in the Fade, in his mind we had sex in the Fade, but the elixir allowed his body to perform in the physical world," Morrigan explained.

A cold sardonic laugh escaped her lips, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes, he wasn't in control of himself," Morrigan stated.

"Really? So if he had turned you down in the Fade, would you have been able to have sex with him in this world?"

Morrigan looked at her with mixture of sadness and regret. She shook her as she whispered, "No."

"That's what I thought," Sabrina snapped as she began to ease herself onto her feet. Tristen reached out to help her, but she swatted his hands away from her. "Don't touch me, not now, not ever," she hissed.

Tristen dropped his hands to his sides, his own tears were stinging his eyes, "I'm sorry, Brin. I never wanted to hurt you, but I wasn't about to stand by and let you die when there was something I could do to save your life."

Anders helped Sabrina to her feet; she ignored Tristen's last comment. "Gather as much of the Archdemon's blood as possible. We will send more Wardens back down to collect what we can't take. Then let's quickly gather our things, I'm ready to get the hell out of here."

* * *

**A/N – **Morrigan's incantation is a roughly translated Latin version of the Healing Song from Disney's movie Tangled. Here are the original lyrics: "Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine, heal what has been hurt, change the face design, save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine".

*It has come to light through the telling of this story that Nate and Tess are a couple. As a reward for being the 100th reviewer in Mirror Images Tess15216 made a guest appearance in Mirror Images who then became a regular character in that story and this one. In recent reviews, Tess a has told me several times and I quote, 'Have I told you before, I like me some Nate?'. LOL, you and a lot of other Fangirls, my friend, but because I hear that Tess has a birthday coming up I decided to write a one-shot on how this fun couple got together. The story is called Pretty Young Thing. Happy Birthday, Tess! Ht tp:/ login. fanfiction. net/story /story_edit_property .php? storyid =6985 113/1/ (Remove spaces)

* Hugs and kisses to the betalicious Jinx1983 for working her magic on this chapter. Thank you so much for your help and support and hard work on this chapter. You are the best and I can't thank you enough!

*I also want to thank everyone who follows this story, who added this story to their favorites list, and for your wonderful reviews. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.


	13. Chapter 13 Miss You Like Crazy

Chapter 13

"And I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy

no matter what I say or do there's just no getting over you

And I miss you, baby, I miss you baby

All the tender love you gave me when a feeling gets this strong

You know the real thing has come along and I miss you...

I miss you like crazy baby only your sweet love can save me

I miss you like crazy a love like ours will never end

Just touch me and we're there again, I miss you like crazy"

_Miss You Like Crazy by Natalie Cole_

The six weeks that it took for them to return back to the Keep was the longest of Sabrina's life. The shock from the stunning revelations that Morrigan had purposely impeded their progress in order for the darkspawn to change the Old God so that the child that she carried from sleeping with Tristen could absorb the Archdemon's spirit, just so that she could give birth to some new type of being that would help save the world from a horrific future had finally worn off. Now she was just numb - numb from the fact that once again she had stared death in the face and lived to tell about it, numb from the consequence of their actions, and numb from the pain.

Tristen had tried to apologize again, but she really wasn't emotionally ready to face him or his actions. She had told him that she needed time to sort through all of this. He had respected her wishes and had left her alone with her thoughts. They spoke only when they needed to consult each other regarding Warden Business matters. During those meetings he was all business – not one overture, not one sideways glance, not even a reassuring smile. It's what she had wanted, time to work through things, but after the first meeting where he had been so distant and aloof, the pain had finally broken through the numbness, causing such a deep ache in her heart that it wounded her to even be near him, which caused even more distance between them - it was a vicious cycle.

She knew that she needed to talk him, he was her husband after all, but she wasn't sure how she felt about his decision to perform the dark ritual. Of course there was pain, betrayal, heartache, but on some level there was relief and gratitude; she didn't want to die, she would have willingly sacrificed her life for them and for duty, but she was also thankful that she was still alive.

When she thought about leaving Tristen, she ached at the thought of never seeing him again, of never watching his roguish grin after he thought of something mischievous to do or say, of never hearing his joyous laugh over one of her silly jokes, never feeling his loving arms around her, making her feel safe and secure, never having the caress of his lips on her skin…and then the image would come of his hands, his lips on Morrigan and her stomach would retch and her heart would break all over again.

One evening by the campfire when she and Zev had been on guard duty, he had made it perfectly clear that he thought she was making a bigger deal about this than was necessary.

"_Bella mia, it was just dream sex. Tristen thought it was a dream. You can't control your dreams, my pe__t," Zev said._

"_He can, especially when Alistair is in them," Sabrina retorted._

"_Si, the forlorn self sacrificing King, who would have willingly slept with a woman he despises to save the woman he loves and his brother's marriage. You just can't make __this shit up. Leliana would have a field day with this. It would be her best ballad yet," Zev chortled._

"_Glad my life and pain can bring you amusement," Sabrina said dryly._

_Zev's face turned deadly serious. "Bree, your pain does not amuse me. I know t__his hurts, but you have to find a way to come to terms with it. Your husband loves you. In all of my years, I don't believe I have ever seen a love so true or more genuine then the love that Tristen has for you. He did what was necessary for you to live__ because he wouldn't be able to continue to live without you…."_

_Sabrina started to protest and Zev waved her off, "I don't mean that he would have thrown himself off a tower. I mean the Tristen that we all know and love would have died with you. If you c__ould have seen…if you could have heard that man's anguish when he discovered your body," Zev paused as he shook trying__ to get rid of the memory. "Till__ the day I die I will never forget that sickening, heartbreaking wail that came from him. If you had not __survived he would have been a shell of the man he used to be. Don't you see, the two of you draw your strength from each other and you are far better together then you will ever be __apart?__ You need him Bree as much as you need air to live, you need him to __truly live and he needs you the same way. It's beautiful and inspiring…" Zev's voice trailed off in a longing sort of way._

"_That means a lot coming from you, my lovely Crow," Sabrina said._

_Zev gave a sad smile, "I may be an assassin, but I can recognize __true beauty when I see it. What you and Tristen have is very rare. Don't throw it away because the man loved you too much to lose you."_

Sabrina had pondered Zev's words the rest of the way home and as they neared the Keep, her heart had began to soften a little and forgiveness had begun to spring forth.

When they rode through the gate at the Keep, she groaned when she discovered that both Fergus and Alistair were there waiting for them. Fergus walked over, helped her dismount and gave her huge bear hug, "It's good to see my favorite sister," Fergus said as he kissed her forehead.

"I'm your only sister," Sabrina grumbled as she timidly returned the hug. "What are you doing here, Fergus?"

"You've been in the Deep Roads for months and this is how greet your loving brother?" Fergus asked jovially.

Sabrina kissed her brother on the cheek, "It's good to see you. I am just exhausted and in desperate need of a bath."

"Yes, I would agree with you on that front, you are smelling a little ripe, my dear. I do believe that Varel has a bath waiting for you in your bedchamber. I also had a delicious bottle of brandy delivered to your room and once I can stand the smell of you again, you can tell me all about your excursion," Fergus said as he grinned at her.

Tristen had just handed his horse over to the quarter master and walked over to them, "Hi Fergus, it's good to see you."

Fergus hugged Tristen, "And how is my favorite brother-in-law doing?"

"I do believe that I too am your only brother-in-law so I'm not sure that is a compliment, but I'm fine," Tristen replied as he shot a glance at Sabrina who smiled tentatively at him. It was the first time that she had smiled at him since the Deep Roads and her husband looked a little shocked and hopeful.

Before Fergus could answer a voice boomed from behind them. "Tristen, Sabrina I am so glad to see you both of you live," Alistair said as he rushed up to them and gave both of them a hug.

"Your Majesty," Tess said as she bowed and the rest of the Wardens followed her lead.

"Oh stop that, Tess. After seeing you and Sabrina dancing on the tables at the estate in Kirkwall, I do believe that we are way past that stage and the rest of you better stop that bowing thing before I have you beheaded," Alistair said with a grin. Tristen raised an eye brow, but Alistair just winked at him. "That didn't ever appear in one of my dreams?"

"I would have remembered if it had," Tristen replied coolly.

"Hmmm, I'll have to tell you about it sometime," Alistair said.

Desperately wanting to change the subject Sabrina asked, "And to what do we owe the honor of this royal welcome?"

Alistair grinned at her, "I know things in the Deep Roads were rough, I wanted to welcome my brother, his wife and the Ferelden Wardens back home. Your accomplishments in the Deep Roads will go unrecognized by the general public, but I know about the heroics that took place there and what was prevented from occurring. As your King and as a Warden I am here to honor you for your brave and valiant actions."

Sabrina shook her head. "You know I hate pomp and circumstance."

He grinned even wider at her, "I know!"

"Argh," Sabrina groaned in frustration. "I have a headache. I'm going to my room to take a bath," And with that she spun on her heels and headed into the Keep.

As Sabrina slipped into the hot water of the tub she let a long weary sigh. She was both physically and emotionally drained and as the soothing water eased her tired bones, she felt herself relax for the first time since she had slain the Archdemon.

As she soaked in the tub, she allowed herself to really think about the ritual…not the actual act, but the consequences of the act. Tristen would be the father of a new type of being that had the potential to be extremely powerful and dangerous...Tristen would be a father. A father...something he would never be with her. A crushing pain raked her body as she finally allowed the tears to flow and she shook with pain, regret and loss.

The loss of the perfect image that she had of her husband was now tarnished and it was her fault. She was the one that had put him up on that pedestal. If you place someone that high up they are bound to fall. After all, they are only human and even someone as noble as her husband will fail when the expectations are too high. Logically she understood his decision to save her, but her heart was having trouble understanding the message, and his action contradicted the picture that she had formulated in her mind and in her heart of him.

She pushed the painful thoughts aside and turned her attention to the witch that she had once considered a close friend. Morrigan had followed them out of the Deep Roads, careful to keep her distance from both Sabrina and Tristen. Anders had been fascinated with the powerful mage and had spent countless hours talking with her about all of the ancient magic that the witch knew. Sabrina was surprised that Morrigan tolerated the apostate's continuous questions, but Sabrina contributed her uncharacteristic show of patience as a peace offering between two old companions. Morrigan had another thing coming if she thought this act of kindness could make up for the damage that she had inflicted. She was lucky to still be breathing.

Once they had emerged back on the surface, before Morrigan had left them she once again reassured both Tristen and her that the child would not be a darkspawn. Morrigan went on to say that Flemeth was the real threat and that she needed as much power as possible for what was to come, but she refused to elaborate. Damn witch and her wily ways.

Morrigan had also warned Sabrina to be on alert; that the future was dangerous and uncertain. She predicted that she and Mari would play a big role in the events to come; again, with the vague declaration and no solid evidence. None the less, Sabrina would need to speak with Mari as soon as she could. The Champion was the last one to see Flemeth; she might be able to give her some insight.

As the relief of being home and the relaxing warm water washed over her, the dark veil of sleep closed in on her. She wasn't sure how long she had drifted off for, but she felt the cool water caressing her skin as she heard her name being called.

"Brin….Brin wake up, you're going to catch one hell of a chill," she heard Tristen's soft voice as he gently shook her shoulder. She shivered as she her eyes focused on her husband. He was looking at her with such love, tenderness…and longing. Of course there was longing she was completely naked.

"I'm sorry to intrude," he said lovingly. "You have been in here for almost two hours and besides growing impatient, Fergus was also becoming very concerned," Tristen said as he tried to explain his presence in her bedchamber…their bedchamber. He held the ends of a towel in both hands and gestured for her to get out so that he could wrap it around her. "You're skin is starting to turn blue, you're going to catch a cold if you don't get out of that freezing water and warm up."

With her back turned to him, she slowly got out of the water; he wrapped the towel around her, his arms linger long enough for her to feel the warmth of him through the cloth. She longed to lean back into his embrace and to pretend that everything hadn't happened, but before she could even truly contemplate the idea his arms slid away from her.

"I took the liberty of having a tray of meats and cheeses sent up for the two of you so that you can have something to eat with your brandy. You haven't been eating well lately," Tristen said somberly.

She gripped the edges of the towel, wrapped it more securely around her as she turned to look at him. It was the first time that she had really studied her husband since the magic ritual that had brought her back to life and she heard the air rush out of her lungs from shock. He seemed to have a new grey streak in his hair; one that now matched her own streak. It hadn't been there right after the Archdemon had been slain so it must have been a gradual process. Hers had appeared immediately and Morrigan had said that it was a result of the power from the Archdemon's essence as it passed through her before it sought out the unborn child, but Sabrina wasn't sure why Tristen had one too. She looked in his eyes and saw that the stress of the past several months had left their mark in the form a few wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. Honestly, they made him look distinguished and if possible even more handsome. Maker she loved this man, she wanted to put everything behind them and just fall into his arms. His eyes caught hers, they flickered such a raw pain that it broke her heart. Zev's words came to her, '_Till the day I die I will never forget that sickening, heartbreaking wai__l that came from him._' She could only imagine the heartache he had felt when he thought she was dead, because it would have ripped her heart out if it had been him that had made the killing blow. She wanted to comfort him and to find solace in him and just as she was about to step toward him, a loud knock came the door. Tristen let out a frustrated groan.

"Bloody hell Bean, did Tristen fall into the tub with you?" Fergus asked.

"Oh, for fuck sake Fergus, you have about as much patience as a whore waiting to be paid," Sabrina snapped.

"And I'm as ill tempered as one too since I have been waiting hours to sip that magnificent brandy I sent to your room; not mention wanting to see my baby sister," Fergus grunted through the closed door.

Tristen stepped to the door, opened it slight, and stepped out into the corridor. She could hear him explain, "Brin fell asleep in the bath, and she is going to need a few minutes to get dressed. Why don't you accompany me to the kitchen while I check on the status of the food tray I had requested be brought to her room."

Although Sabrina couldn't see his smile she knew by his tone that her brother had his famous charming grin on his face. "My, my Tristen you have become quite the charming nobleman. Obviously that has to do with breeding and nothing to do with my sister's influence."

"I heard that, Fergus!" Sabrina yelled through the door.

Fegus laughed, "Just checking to make sure you hadn't fallen back into the tub."

"If you're not careful Fergus, I'm going to lock my door and drink this whole bottle of brandy by myself," Sabrina replied loudly.

"You wouldn't dare," Fergus exclaimed.

"Don't push me brother. I just might. Now be a good little Teyrn and go check on our food while I get dressed," Sabrina replied.

She heard her brother say something about the Deep Roads making her even feistier as the pair made their way down the hall.

Sabrina had just finished pulling up her hair, when Fergus knocked at the door and then entered. "If you're not dressed by now then I'm going to begin to think that you've actually become a real girl," Fergus chuckled as he walked in carrying a tray of food.

"You bite your tongue, Fergus Cousland," Sabrina said as she poured each of them a generous glass of brandy and took a seat in front of the fireplace. Fergus spent the next hour bringing her up to speed on things in Highever, on Anna, the birth of their second child, Stefan and her other nephew, Sawyer before he turned the conversation to the Landsmeet that both she and Tristen had missed…again. Although he did reassure her that Varel had done an outstanding job.

"However, baby sister, since you haven't been to a Landsmeet in four years the nobles are beginning to think that the Hero of Ferelden is a myth, a figment of their imagination and that you don't exist," Fergus relayed.

Sabrina giggled, "Well they can continue to think that way if it means I don't have to sit through another one of those boring meetings."

"Bean, I know you hate court politics; although I think you're better at then even I am. However, Alistair has been taking a lot of grief from both the nobles and his wife regarding the lack of court appearances from the Arl and Arlessa of Amaranthine."

"I would think the Queen would be glad that she didn't have to compete with my notoriety and she can continue to have her ass kissed by all the nobles, competition free," Sabrina retorted.

Fergus chuckled. "You have definitely been hanging around warriors to long. I'm sure she isn't giving Alistair grief because she misses the colorful way you phrase things. I'm sure it's because the nobles are pressing her just as hard about the Hero of Ferelden making an appearance at court," Fergus replied.

Sabrina was thoughtful for a moment, "And you Fergus, are they applying pressure to the brother of the Hero?"

Fergus waved a hand in a nonchalant gesture, "Nothing I'm not used to or can't handle. I bring it up because it only adds more pressure on Alistair, pressure he could do without since things with Orlais are politically heating up. Alistair hasn't said anything to you or Tristen because he knew that the missions you were on were more important, but for his sake it is extremely imperative for you and Tristen to make an appearance at the Spring Festival in a couple of months," Fergus said reproachfully.

"Fine," Sabrina conceded. "We will be there. Please let Varel know the dates so he can block it off on our calendars."

Fergus smiled at her. "Already done."

She shook her head at him, "As presumptuous as ever, I see."

"Of course. So now that we have all the small talk out of the way, when are you going to tell me what happened in the Deep Roads and why there is so much tension between you and Tristen."

"I would have thought Alistair would have told you what happened in the Deep Roads. Hence the reason for yours and his impromptu visit," Sabrina said cynically.

"I know his version. Now I want to hear yours," Fergus said.

So Sabrina told him the long sorted story and when she had finished, he was on his feet pulling her into his arms. "Thank the Maker you're alive." He kissed her forehead, "And how unfuckingbelievable! Centuries go by between Blights and you have the misfortune to face and defeat not one, but two Archdemons. At the same time you have to be the luckiest person I know to have survived both encounters."

Sabrina giggled, "Unfuckingbelievable? Talk about colorful language, Brother."

"I've learned my best swear words from my baby sister. Somehow that's just wrong," he mused as he kissed her forehead again, released her; he poured her another drink, and handed it to her. "I'm so sorry, Beanie. I know this has been hard for you and I know this hurts…right down to the bone kind of pain."

He looked at her for a long time before he spoke as if he was contemplating what direction he wanted to take this conversation.

"Bean, I know that you feel hurt, betrayed and I can understand that. Those are normal reactions and emotions to have after something like this, but I also know how your mind works. I know that you have to be able to see the logic and wisdom in his decision. Tristen loves you, Bean. It is plain as day to everyone that sees the two of you together. He didn't do this because he lusted after this woman or was in love with her; he did it to save you and thank the Maker he did," he paused as he reigned his emotions in. "Or else I would be burying the last member of my immediate family. I-I don't think I could have handled that. I love you, Bean. You have to stop charging after these Archdemons. I don't think my heart can take it."

Sabrina laughed. "I will do my best."

He looked at her for a long moment before continuing. "If the things that you do make me uneasy and fear for your well being and I am just your brother I can only imagine the fear that your husband faces and deals with on a daily basis. I know that he is used to it and that this is the life that the two of you have chosen for yourselves, but I can understand his need to save you when the outcome of the confrontation is certain death."

Fergus stood up and paced the room before continuing. "I know how much you loved Alistair. You would have done anything for that man. So if he had been there with you when Morrigan had made the offer the first time can you truthfully tell me that you would have turned her down? If you can look me in the eye and tell me you would have, then you are a better person than I, and we have nothing less to discuss." He paused and let his words sink in before he demanded an answer. "Well?"

Sabrina felt her heart race as she thought back to that night long ago when Morrigan had originally presented the dark ritual to her. She thought about if Alistair hadn't betrayed her and had been in the next room pacing the floor as they both faced the possibility of their own death or worse the death of the other. She knew that she would have accepted the ritual and would have found a way to convince Alistair to agree.

"I would have accepted it," Sabrina whispered humbly.

"Then what makes you so different from Tristen?" Fergus asked.

Tears filled her eyes as she thought about her husband and the impossible position he had been placed in; watch his wife die or try to save her by betraying their wedding vows. He had made the choice that she would have made if Morrigan had come to her again with the ritual. Fergus once again pulled her into his arms. "I know it hurts. I do understand that, but exiling yourself from your husband is only inflicting more pain on him and on you. Not talking to him Bean isn't going to resolve this situation. You need to be with him so that the two of you can work this out together. I know he is in just as much pain as you are. You are his world, if given another way to save your life I know he would have chosen it. Living without you wasn't an option for him so he took the only other option available."

"Thank you, Fergus. I love you and appreciate your sound advice. I will think on it," Sabrina said as she pulled herself from his embrace.

Music and laughter drifted through her windows and a sad smile spread across her face. "The Keep is celebrating the return of its Wardens from a successful mission. You should go join in the drunken debauchery."

"You're not going to your own celebration?" Fergus asked.

"No, I'm exhausted. Not to mention it's not my celebration, it's a Warden celebration. Oghren started the tradition that on the night that a group of Wardens return home from a mission, that the entire Keep celebrates their return with ale, music and stories from the adventure are shared. I honestly am not up for talking about this last trip yet. Not just because of the ritual…but because for a brief moment, when that soul passed through me I felt exactly what Loghain had felt and seen before he died..." her voice trailed off as shiver passed involuntarily through her body. "I- I'm not ready to discuss that with anyone just yet and it gives me no cause for celebration."

Fergus looked at her with great concern, but he let go for now. He nodded, kissed her cheek and said, "A night of drunken debauchery won't be the same without you, Sis, but I think I understand. Just promise me when you're ready that you will talk to someone about what you're keeping bottled up inside."

"I promise," Sabrina replied.

* * *

A/N – Thank to everyone that has as added this story to their alert and favorites list. Also that thank you those that have added me to their favorite authors list. I am honored by such a wonderful gesture. I also want to thank those that have left such amazing and thoughtful reviews. I love hearing your thoughts both good and bad so please continue to share those with me.

*Last, but never least I want to thank Jinxy for working her wonderful betalicious magic on this chapter. Thank you for your help, insight and friendship.


	14. Chapter 14 How Can U Mend A Broken Heart

**I will be continuing the tradition that was started by the lovely CCBug of honoring the 100th reviewer with a guest appearance in the story. I think it's a great way to honor a story's faithful readers/reviewers. The lucky 100th reviewer is Bonkzy. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I love all your grrr's and meow's that you put into your reviews. You keep me very entertained. With a nickname like Bonkzy I had to be creative so I hope you enjoy your Dragon Age doppelganger.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

"And how can you mend a broken heart?

How can you stop the rain from falling down?

How can you stop the sun from shining?

What makes the world go round?

How can you mend this broken man?

How can a loser ever win?

Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again"

_How Can You Mend A Broken Heart by Al Green ft. Joss Stone_

Tristen spent most of the next day evaluating the last batch of recruits. He hadn't seen Sabrina since breakfast, Varel had kept her locked up in her office as he brought her up to speed on everything going on at the Keep and in the Arling. He knew she felt betrayed and she had every right to feel that…he had betrayed her, but he needed her to understand that he only did the ritual to save her life, not because he desired or wanted Morrigan. She was the only woman he would ever desire, ever want, ever love and it killed him to know that his attempt to save her had brought her pain.

Tristen knew that his actions had been selfish. He knew he couldn't live without her and the thought of her dying superseded any pain that the betrayal may have inflicted. He had once told Alistair that he would always put her first and although she wouldn't see it that way, that is what he did. He had put her life above his own happiness and as the distance between the two of them continued to grow he was beginning to realize how steep of a price he might have to pay.

He was grateful that his brother was here. Alistair had been very supportive since their return; which was a true testament to how much his brother had grown over the past eight years. Alistair knew from their dreams that Sabrina had lived, that it had taken all three mages to heal her and the extent of Morrigan's deception. The man was confident enough in himself to never once even hint at an "I told you so". That had to be Fiona's influence on him. She spent the majority of her time in Denerim getting to know him and her grandchild while advising Alistair when needed. Her wisdom and guidance was prevalent in the perceptive and astute way that Alistair governed Ferelden. Tristen was proud of the King that he had become, he was honored to call him brother and he was thankful for his calming presence during this very emotional time in his life.

The night of the Welcome Home Celebration, Fergus had informed him that Sabrina would not be joining the party. At first, he had been very disappointed; he was looking forward to seeing her and hopefully finding a way to continue the reconnection that had begun before Fergus had interrupted. As the evening wore on and the alcohol coursed through his veins, he became a little pissed that she wasn't going to at least make an appearance at the celebration. She had never missed one of them since Oghren had started the tradition. It was one thing for her to ignore him, close herself off from him, but to close herself from her Wardens…her family; well that was just unacceptable. He had been ready to march up to her room to tell her to stop acting like such a child when Fergus had said something that had stopped him dead in his tracks and struck fear into his heart.

His brother-in-law had grabbed his arm and hissed, "Something happened when that thing's soul passed through her, something that frightened her, and I've never seen my sister afraid of anything. Whatever happened she doesn't want to talk about it and that is why she isn't here. She doesn't want to recall the memory. Give her time, Tristen, and when you know the time is right, you need to make her tell you what happened. For her own sake, she needs to talk to someone."

"W-what did she say to you?"

"She said that when that monster's soul passed through her, she knew what Loghain had seen and felt just before he died. She told me she didn't want to talk about it, but Tristen, her body was trembling with fear just thinking about it."

It had taken both Fergus and Alistair to stop him from going to her and getting her to open up to him. Once Fergus had relayed what Sabrina had told him to Alistair, his brother was in complete agreement that now was not the time to talk to her about this and at this moment Tristen was not the person that should attempt to get her to talk. The truth of that statement broke his heart even more, because there was a time just a few short weeks ago that he was the only person that could get her to talk, that if she was hurting, she would take comfort in his arms as he would have brushed away her tears and promised that everything would be alright.

He looked up at her bedroom window and longed to go to her, but he knew Alistair was right. Until they had worked things out between them he wasn't the right person to get her to open up to him. They had to find a way to get past this, because seeing her every day, being this close to her but not being able to touch her, hearing her talk and laugh with others, but not sharing those intimate conversations with her was slowly killing him.

He missed her desperately. The memory of how she felt in his arms haunted his mind and dreams. The unforgettable smell of her sweet skin as she nuzzled against him, the feel of her soft tresses tangled in his fingers, and the loving touch of her lips upon his, assaulted his senses driving him mad. The last time that he had actually held her was when he thought she was dead. He didn't even have time to truly celebrate the fact that she was alive before she told him to never touch her again. The look on her face would be burned into his memory forever. The pain, anguish and betrayal that looked out from her now dull eyes, killed a piece of him that day. But she was alive, that is what he told himself and that is what he has told himself every day since. She was alive and he would find a way to make amends; he would find a way to earn her forgiveness and win back her trust. Somehow, he was sure that Alistair had said those exact words to himself.

"So what do you think of the new recruits?" Zev asked as he and Anders walked to the sparring ring.

"There are a few that have some potential, a couple of capable rogues that you will enjoy training," Tristen said.

Zev smirked, "Really? How capable and what exactly will I be training them in?"

"The art of l-l-love," Anders cooed dragging out the last word.

"I will disarm them with my wit and charm and enslave them with my sexual prowess," Zev purred.

"Zev, they're recruits, could you at least keep everything business like until they pass their joining," Tristen snapped.

"You really need to work things out with Bree, because you're no fun to play with anymore," Zev chortled.

"Sorry if I am unable to look at the brighter side of life right now. Sorry if my pain is interfering with your good time," Tristen said sardonically.

"Tristen, my friend, give her time. If our beautiful Commander is anything, she is practical; with time she will see the logic behind your decision," Zev said.

"How much time is another matter; hopefully before either of you receive your calling," Anders said dryly.

"Not helping, Anders," Zev hissed. "Bree is hurt, but I know she is also grateful to be alive. She owes you her life…"

"She owes me nothing," Tristen interjected.

"No, my friend we all owe you, you saved her and as I told her, it was only dream sex. I mean really, when you think about dream sex... it's like one step up from a wet dream. Does that even count?" Zev asked.

"It counts in her book," Tristen retorted.

"Who knew wet dreams could get a girl pregnant. Now I'm a little worried that there aren't more little Anders running around," Anders piped in.

"I do believe it requires a little more than a wet dream…you need some magical hocus pocus too. Right, Tristen?" Zev chuckled. Tristen just glared at him.

"I'm magical. I'm very magical. I could do the hoodoo voodoo on some girl and get her pregnant in a dream too, if I wanted to…which of course I don't," Anders replied defensively.

"If I had a coin for every girl I could have knocked up in a wet dream, I would be a rich man," Zev chortled.

"Oh, would you two shut the fuck up?" Tristen hissed as he stepped out of the sparring ring and headed for the Keep in an even fouler mood.

"Oooh, someone has their small clothes in wad," Anders shouted after him.

Tristen skipped dinner that evening opting instead to have dinner in the library while he worked on all the paper work that Varel had given him after he had finished with Sabrina. He knew that it had to be extremely late since the Keep had taken on an eerry silence indicating that everyone had gone to bed hours before. His stomach growled loudly, so he poured himself another glass of wine before he made his way out of the library, through the throne room, toward the kitchen.

The throne room was completely dark except for the few shadows that the moon cast from the windows high above. If he hadn't walked through this room in the dark at least a thousand times, he knew he would have broken his nose by running into one of the pillars. As he drew near the throne he could make out a figure sitting upon it and his heart raced as he eased for the dagger that was hooked on the belt of his trousers. The figure shifted on the throne with such grace that he immediately recognized the movement as his wife's, and he froze in place. It was well after midnight, she should be in bed, but whatever was troubling her wouldn't allow her to slip into the Fade. He didn't want to disturb her while at the same time he yearned to hold her and comfort her.

"I know you're there Tristen," her voice said gently into the darkness.

"I was on my way to the kitchen when I realized you were in here. I didn't mean to disturb you," he replied.

"You're not disturbing me," she said.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Normally when you are sound asleep and I am unable to, I come in here to think. It's peaceful and very quiet, plus it lets me keep track of which Wardens are raiding the larder for a midnight snack," she answered.

Tristen chuckled, "And who are the greatest offenders?"

"Tess and Anders when he lived in the Keep; now Oghren and Kaylessa are tied for second place, however tonight Alistair is giving them a run for their money. He has been to the kitchen three times so far," she replied.

"And he didn't see you sitting there?"

"Nope, he was too busy swearing and nursing his injured foot, arm and head from the various pillars he ran into," she said and he could hear the smile in her voice. He yearned to see that smile on her face.

Tristen walked closer to her, the moon moved from behind a cloud and lit up her beautiful face. Maker, she still took his breath away. He smiled at her, "Swearing? I find it hard to believe that his Royal Highness would stoop to cussing like a pirate."

Trying to impersonate Alistair's voice she began, " Let's see there was this one, 'Why the bloody hell don't they light some damn candles in this place? Did someone forgot to pay the candle bill' and 'You practically need a sodding map, a mage and a priest to get from one end of this room to the other,' and my personal favorite, 'Oh, fuck...another damn pillar! Can't we move these sodding things out of the way somehow?'"

Tristen burst out laughing, "And how did you manage not to laugh out loud?"

"I didn't, but he was making so much racket, that a horde of darkspawn could have marched through the room and he wouldn't have heard them. The man really needs to work on his stealth skills," she said as she laughed with him. It was wonderful to hear the sound of her laughter again.

"However, he did insult our cheese selection and I take personal offense in that. We have an excellent assortment of cheeses," Sabrina said as she feigned indignation.

"Well that is a serious assault on our integrity. I will speak with him immediately about this, my Lady," Tristen replied dryly.

"Thank you, my Lord. I would greatly appreciate it," Sabrina wryly stated.

He stepped closer to her just because he couldn't fight off the desire to be near her any longer. "Brin, I know this is a dumb question, but what is it that has you so troubled that you are in here at this hour?" Tristen inquired.

Her smile never wavered. "It's not what you think."

He looked intently at her, but his reply was tender, "Tell me, Brin, if it's not us, what is troubling you so late at night?"

She looked at him and her expression startled him. She stared at him with love and tenderness mixed with pain. He knelt on the step in front of her and took her hands in his, "Please…please Brin, talk to me, yell at me, or hit me if you must, but please stop shutting me out. I can't take not being a part of your world anymore."

She raised her hand and he thought she was going to slap him, but when she gently stroked his cheek, the emotional dam that he had bottled up, broke and he began to weep. He laid his head in her lap and cried as he begged her to forgive him. She lovingly cradled his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Sssh, Love, it's okay. I forgive you and I'm sorry for not being able to say that sooner."

He turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand, "Mon Soleil, you have no reason to apologize. I-I am the one that…"

"The one that saved my life," she interjected. "The one that risked everything he held near and dear to save me. The one who on further reflection did exactly what I would have done if the roles were reversed."

She leaned closer to him, her breath washed over him, causing his head to spin with need and want, but her words were like healing magic to his soul. "If I had been injured and unable to deliver that final blow it would have been up to you to kill it, and without the ritual you have died like Loghain. The thought of you d-dying, going through… that pain…that vision…it would have killed me. I'm not saying it doesn't still hurt, but I can forgive you for doing what I would have done. I couldn't have faced losing you Tristen, and if she had come to me with the ritual this time I would have said yes. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize that…"

Before she could finish the sentence his hand cupped her face and drew her to him, his lips crashed against hers as he masterfully parted them, his tongue plunged inside, yearning to savor her once again and as the sweet taste of her filled his mouth, he once again felt whole.

He pulled away briefly as he sighed against her lips. "Don't apologize to me for that ever again," he growled as his mouth claimed hers again.

His mind reeled with the taste of her, so divine and sweet. He ravaged her mouth as his longing for her grew out of control; his hand covered her breast as his fingers squeezed at the supple flesh. He found her nipple through the thin material of her night shirt as he twisted and pinched the pecked orb, she mewed with pleasure and arched into his hand. The sounds of her pleasure heightened his senses and ignited his blood with pure lust. He had almost lost her but now she was here, in his arms once again, and her own hunger for him was evident as she rubbed against him, the delicious friction she created between them heated his blood even more, causing his groin to throb with want.

He broke their kiss and a moan of protest escaped her lips. He gazed into her sparkling lust filled eyes, her intoxicating scent saturated the air around them. He teased her pouty lips with his tongue as he whispered, "Brin, there's only you. It's always only been you. You're all I will ever need."

"I know, Love, I know," she moaned against him as her tongue slipped back into his mouth in a dance of lust induced dominance. Her kiss, her touch, so hot, like fire, burned him to the deepest part of his soul. Fuck, he needed her now, must have her now, must taste and savor her now.

He licked her soft lips with his tongue before he kissed a path down her neck to her breasts. His lips clamped over her nipple through the night shirt and he tugged hungrily at her. She moaned as her finger tangled in his hair and the sound of her pleasure drove him on. He sucked and nipped the aroused peaks while his hands lovingly caressed the supple mounds.

He eagerly continued his ravenous trail down her body, until he reached the top of her thighs; he closed his eyes for an instant as he inhaled her delicious scent. His fingers deftly slipped up her thigh, he pulled at the small panties, she shifted her weight and lifted her hips off the throne, and he swiftly removed the scrape of fabric.

"Mmm, Tristen maybe we should go upstairs…Oh Maker!" she cried out as he ran his tongue through her curls and inside her folds.

"No, Mon Soleil, I want to taste you right here," he groaned as his head descended again, the feel of her soft curls drew him into the warmth of her moist center. He flicked his tongue through her folds and across her swollen nub. The stimulating scent of her arousal forced him to groan with hunger, as the pressure between his legs grew almost painful.

He brought her right leg up so it draped across his shoulder. "Perfect," he moaned as he gazed at her glistening wet center. Her body was an instrument, he the masterful musician and he was about to skillfully play her, as he longed to hear the music of her ecstasy.

His tongue expertly explored her, worshiped her, as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. He couldn't get enough of her; he gripped her hips and pulled her closer to him so that she was on the edge of the chair. His tongue licked, swirled and sucked as he played her just the way he knew she liked it. She writhed against him as his tongue thoroughly probed, explored and penetrated her. Her hips pushed against him as he continued to devour her warmth. Maker, he had missed seeing her like this…so enraptured in pleasure…in the ecstasy that he was giving her.

Her breath sharpened and became ragged as she tried to keep quiet, but her gasps and hushed moans echo off the wooden panels of the room, which only further ignited his flame of desire for her. His mouth closed over her bundle of nerves as he slipped one, two, three fingers into her, forcing a guttural groan to tear from his throat. Oh sweet Andraste, he wanted to bury himself deep inside her. Her head fell back as her hips pushed into him, his tongue and mouth continued to relentlessly consume her. Her legs trembled against him and he heard her knuckles crack as she tightly gripped sides of the throne; a strangled cry escaped her. Her body trembled against his lips as she slipped over the edge and pure bliss enfolded her.

As she slowly floated back to reality she moaned, "The next time I have to sit on this throne and listen to a noble complain about some petty injustice being done to them, the image of you between my legs will give me the strength to get through it."

Tristen laughed, "I want to be present when you conjure up that picture."

"No you don't, I won't be able to keep a straight face and then everyone will know that the Arl has thoroughly ravished the Arlessa and completely perverted the sanctity of the throne."

Tristen pulled her to him, her legs encircled his waist, and he used the arms of the throne to steady himself as he rose, "I've only begun to thoroughly ravish and pervert you. I plan on spending the rest of the night and a good bit of tomorrow showing you just how much I love you and how desperately I need you."

She nuzzled his neck as she feathered kisses down upon him, "Mmm, I like the sound of that."

He carried his wife to their bedchamber and proceeded to show her just how thrilled he was that she was alive and once again speaking to him.

**xxXxx**

The following morning while Sabrina slept soundly, he requested that a servant bring their breakfast to their chamber. An hour later just as she was beginning to stir, they delivered their food.

She looked over at him and smiled as she stretched. He fixed her a plate with sweet meats, cheese and pastries and handed it to her. He fixed himself a plate and climbed back into bed beside her. She hadn't been eating well on their trip back, but she was definitely making up for that now. She quickly devoured everything on her plate and then went back for seconds.

He laughed, "Well, I see your Warden appetite is back."

She giggled, "With a vengeance. I feel like I haven't eaten in a month."

"So, when do I get your mark on my arse?" Tristen asked.

She giggled again, "When I have several hours to do nothing but stare at your luscious bottom and think of all the wonderful things I want to do it."

"Oooo, I like the sound of that," Tristen replied as he rubbed the upper part of her thigh. "I missed you at the celebration the other night. You missed Oghren making quite a spectacle."

"When doesn't he make a spectacle? It wouldn't be a celebration if he didn't make some type of scene. What did he do this time?"

"Well, I mention it because you are going to be disappointed that you missed it. Oghren told Sigrun in front of all the Wardens that she reminded him of his favorite Bronto, Bugsy. He went on to say that the beast was huge pain in his arse, but that Sig is worse because not only is she a pain in his ass, but because she is so damn perky it makes her even more annoying. Sig then proceeded to punch him so hard that he was knocked out for the next three hours."

Sabrina roared with laughter. "Oh, I wish I could have seen that."

"Zev is taking bets on how Oghren would seek his revenge," Tristen chuckled.

"Ooo, I want to place a bet that he puts itching crystals in her small clothes," Sabrina stated.

"Well the odds are two to one on that. I said that he will find a way to slip her a magical laxative," Tristen replied.

"Ooo, that's good. What are the odds on that?"

"Twenty to one, because Zev said it would take finesse and clear thinking to convince Sig to eat or drink anything that Oghren gave her," Tristen explained.

"Well you just bribe Cook to put it in her stew," Sabrina stated.

"Remember the clear thinking party?" Tristen reminded her.

"Aaah, yes that's right, this is Oghren we are talking about," she sighed.

Tristen felt his heart race apprehensively as he began to approach the subject of the Archdemon, but he needed her to open up to him and tell him what she saw. He took a deep breath, "Brin, Fergus mentioned, you had told him that when the Archdemon's soul passed through you that you knew exactly what Loghain had felt and seen before he died. Fergus also said that just recalling the memory frightened you."

Even now as he mentioned it, he noticed her shiver involuntarily. He reached out and stroked her arm. "It's okay, baby. I'm here, I'll help you through this."

Her chest began to rise and fall rapidly as she struggled to rein her emotions. He had never seen her so unnerved; even when she knew she was going to her death, she had remained calm and composed, but now she looked completely unsettled, almost panic-stricken.

"Fucking Fergus, remind me to kick his arse when I see him," she muttered as she leapt of the bed and began to pace the room like a caged animal. Tristen scooted to the edge of the bed, but remained silent as she worked her way up to telling him what she had been holding in for the past month and a half.

Finally she sat on the edge of the bed and whispered, "At first there was a blinding light and then nothing…no pain, no screams or the sounds of battle, there was nothing. Then out of nowhere the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced hit me full force, driving me to my knees…. then I saw it…a vision of the past and the future…I saw the birth of the next Archdemon, saw the darkspawn Genlock touch the Old God. Again I witnessed its death and then the birth of the monster. I felt it call its generals and rally its armies, then I saw the man that would slay it…even though I have yet to meet him, I knew him instantly. I'm sure that is how it had been for all the previous heroes, the name of the Warden that will kill the Archdemon flashes through your head. It's like the Archdemon's one last taunt; to remind you that we are fighting an endless battle, that there will be another Blight and that another Warden will die stopping it."

Tears ran down her cheeks, Tristen gripped her hand and swallowed hard. "What name did the Archdemon give you?"

She cried even harder, she squeezed his hand to the point that it was painful, and muttered. "Stefan Cousland."

Tristen felt the air rush out of his lungs. Another Cousland would become a Warden and another Cousland would face and defeat the Archdemon. Maker have mercy!

"So your nephew who is only a month old, will grow up to become a Grey Warden and will kill the Archdemon. And you know this as fact because the Archdemon told you? It's a demon; it could have been lying, Brin."

She shook her head. "Before it shows you the next Archdemon and Warden, it shows you all of the previous ones and it shows exactly what they saw. Loghain died knowing that another beast would be born soon and that I would be the one to slay it. Maybe not in our life time, but within the next twenty to thirty years, the last of the Old Gods will be corrupted and my nephew will be the Warden to kill it. I don't believe it's a future that can be changed, so I see no point in burdening Fergus with this information."

"Are you sure it can't be changed?"

She nodded. "I don't know how, but I just know that it can't."

Tristen pulled her into his arms to comfort her from a future that she couldn't change and the burden that she must carry, but she wouldn't carry it alone. He would help her carry this weight.

A sharp knock came at the door, "Not now," Tristen bellowed.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but we have an emergency," Varel called through the closed door.

Tristen looked at Sabrina; she nodded her approval as she reached for a napkin to wipe at her eyes. Varel entered the room and paused when it became obvious that Sabrina had been crying.

"Commander, I truly am sorry, but we have visitors; three every persistent visitors. This is their fourth trip to the Keep in order to speak with you or with Anders…I mean Sander," Varel stated.

Sabrina immediately tensed up with the mention of Anders. "Who are they?"

"They are Chantry Seekers. They wish to speak with you, Anders and Mari. Thank the Maker, that Mari has spent the last four months in Rainesfere and missed their prior visits. One of the Seekers, insisted that she knew the Warden-Commander had returned from the Deep Roads and was adamant that they speak with you. You don't want to agitate Seekers of Truth," Varel explained.

Sabrina let out a long sigh. "Fine, I need to get ready, escort them into the throne room in an hour. Please send word to Zev, Anders and Nate to meet there a few minutes before hand. Tell Alistair too. He is going to want to know what's going on in his country."

"Of course, Commander," Varel said and then headed out of their room.

An hour later Sabrina sat on the throne while Zev and Tristen stood behind her, their faces hidden in the shadows of the room, but their physical presences visible. Nate hid in the shadows on the balcony, his arrow trained on their visitors as they made their way into hall, while Anders remained in the shadows observing the scene below, ready to cast a spell if need be. Alistair was also on the balcony. He didn't want his presence to stop them from revealing the true nature of their visit.

Varel escorted the small group in. Directly behind Varel were the two Chantry Seekers, following directly behind them was a Chantry Lay Sister. All three of them had their traveling hoods pulled up so that their faces were in shadow. Their hidden appearance made both Tristen and Zev shift uneasily, as they advanced toward Sabrina. When they stopped in front of the dais, the leader of the group stepped forward and lowered her hood.

"Warden Commander, I am Cassandra Pentaghast, a Seeker from the Chantry. You are a difficult person to track down," Cassandra stated.

"Yes, well as much as I wanted to do this whole darkspawn killing thing as a hobby, I realized it more of a full time gig, " Sabrina said dryly. Tristen could have sworn that he saw the shoulders of the other veiled Seeker shake as if stifling a laugh.

"Well, I see that the rumors weren't fabricated regarding the sarcastic wit of the Ferelden Commander," Cassandra replied calmly.

"You didn't mention my dazzling charm and breathtaking beauty, doesn't surprise me though, they usually say I'm a man. Makes you wonder about who this mysterious they are," Sabrina stated matter-of-factly.

The hooded lay sister in the back bounded up and down on the balls of her feet while quietly clapping her hands together. She muttered something that sounded like, "Me finds the Ferelden Commander funny."

Sabrina raised an eyebrow, "Is your companion okay? Does she need help of some kind? Maybe a young enchanter and an old enchanter to exorcise the abomination in her?"

Tristen nudged her and whispered, "Antagonizing, the pretty Seeker isn't going to help Anders and Mari."

"But she is making it so easy," she muttered back.

"Brin, play nice," Tristen advised.

"The Lay sister is easily excitable, please pardon her behavior," the Seeker said.

"Very interesting company you travel with Seeker," Sabrina replied.

"The same could be said for you, Commander. I heard that when you exited the Deep Roads, you had a man with you that looked remarkably like the apostate Grey Warden that blew up the Chantry," Cassandra said.

"Anders died in Kirkwall, I watched the Champion drive a dagger through his back," Sabrina said calmly.

"So you admit that you were there when the Chantry fell," Cassandra replied.

"Admitting would mean that I had denied being there, which I never have. Let's stop playing games Seeker. It's a waste of your time and more importantly a waste of mine. What is it that you seek?"

Cassandra smiled, "I like a woman that is direct. I seek you and the Champion of Kirkwall."

Tristen's blood flared with anger. He stepped forward, out of the shadow, when the lights of the room shone brightly on him, an audible gasp came from the seeker beside Cassandra. "What do you want with my wife?"

"Oooo, look at the doppelganger… soooo handsome," the peculiar Lay Sister purred as she started to bounce on her feet again.

Sabrina's eyes furrowed, "Do you need a strong sedative potion for the Sister? I'm sure one of my mages would be happy to provide one," Sabrina said.

"That won't be necessary," Cassandra said.

Tristen stepped up directly beside his wife and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Again, what do you want with my wife?"

"I mean your wife no harm. I believe that she could be instrumental in helping stop both the Templar and Mages rebellions," Cassandra said.

"Stop the rebellions; stop the rebellions," the Lay sister chanted. Cassandra spun around and whispered something in the sister's ear. She hung her head and her shoulders sagged as if she had been severally reprimanded. Zev now moved up beside Sabrina. Tristen noticed Zev eyeing the Lay sister very carefully.

"Wardens aren't supposed to involve themselves in affairs that have nothing to do with a darkspawn threat," Tristen declared.

"And yet, that is exactly what your wife did while the Blight was destroying Ferelden. This war could destroy all of Thedas, how could you say no?" Cassandra retorted.

"My wife does not have to justify her actions to the Chantry. We answer only to Weisshaupt," Tristen countered.

Zev continued to scrutinize the lay sister as she bounced up and down behind the two Seekers. Zev bent down and whispered in her ear. Sabrina gave a curt nod.

"Tell me how you think I can aid your cause," Sabrina said.

"We know that Anders lives, we know that he has been seen in your company and rumor has it that the Champion has been staying here at Vigil's Keep from time to time," the Seeker paused waiting for a reaction from Sabrina, but she remained stone faced.

"I wish Anders no harm, I believe with his and Mari's aid that we can stop these uprisings. I seek your aid as a liaison to bridge the gap, so that we may ask for their help," Cassandra stated.

"Aaah, there it is, the reason for your visit. Was that so hard? It only took you thirty minutes to get to the point," Sabrina said sarcastically.

"You can make light of this all you want, but we are facing a crisis the likes of which has never been seen. I need your help to stop it before thousands die," Cassandra retorted angrily.

"Well you see, Seeker, I have a problem trusting people who come into my throne room asking for aid, while their companions remained cloaked and unannounced," Sabrina said as she launched herself at the second hooded Seeker.

Zev moving at lightning speed was on top of the crazy lay sister just as she drew her dagger to throw it at Sabrina. Sabrina knocked the Seeker to the ground and landed on top of her, at the same time Zev landed on top of the lay sister. Both of them ripped off their hoods.

"Bonkzy?" Zev exclaimed at the same time Sabrina cried out, "Leliana!"

* * *

A/N – Once again a huge thank you everyone that has added this story to their favs and author list and to all the wonderful reviewers. Your comments make my day! Thank you.

*A huge shout out to my betalicious jinxy for her editing prowess. "Jinxy, Jinxy your on my mind, your beta skills are awesome and your editing so fine., Jinxy, Jinxy wanna work with you so this what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put a call to you, 'cause I feel good tonight and the chapters oh so right, right, right"


	15. Chapter 15 Man In the Mirror

**Chapter 15**

"A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart

And a washed out dream (Washed out dream)

They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see

'Cause they got no place to be, that's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and then make a change"

_Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson_

Anders, Alistair and Nate watched the events unfold from the balcony above. Alistair gasped when the Seeker was revealed as his Blight companion. Then all three of them gasped when Sabrina briefly kissed the Seeker on the lips and exclaimed, "Leliana, I can't believe you're here."

"Were they always that close?" Nate whispered with a smirk on his face.

"Yes, but not in the way your thinking," Alistair murmured.

Both Zev and Sabrina stood up and helped up the person that they had struck. "Bonkzy, how many times I have told you that you can't overplay the crazy card," Zev chortled.

Sabrina stared at him, "You know her?"

"Yes, when I was in Kirkwall, Leli had come to me asking for some protection. The blood mages were getting a little out of control and were seeking her out in order to send a message the Divine. I offered Leli her own personal bodyguard disguised as a loopy lay sister for protection. No one suspected a strange Chantry sister as an assassin. Bree, this is Bonkzy, an ex-Crow that now works for me," Zev explained.

"Wow, it's... it's really you…The Hero of Ferelden! I can't begin to tell you what an honor it is to meet you. Just being in your presence... is like... WOW," she grabbed Sabrina's hand and began to shake it furiously. Sabrina's eyes widened as she shot Zev a look of desperation. The assassin just shrugged his shoulders and grinned.

"I've seen that look before," Alistair said softly. "All the nobles looked like that right after the Blight when they met Sabrina for the first time and Bree had that exact same look… like a deer staring at a pack of hound dogs."

"She never did handle compliments or open admiration well," Nate murmured.

"The woman can face down two Archdemons without any reservations, but becomes unhinged by hero worship. Go figure," Anders muttered.

"Aaaah, nice to meet you, Bonkzy. Would you mind giving me my hand back?" Sabrina asked tentatively.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to squash it. It's just, meeting you in person. The real you! It has me completely dumbstruck, I still can't believe it," Bonkzy said in a much calmer voice as she released Sabrina's hand.

"Oh, and have you met the fake me before?" Bree asked with a slight smile.

Bonkzy gave a nervous laugh. "No, sorry. That's not what I meant. It's just... I can't get over it. I'm actually meeting my Hero for the first time. I wanna be just like you."

"Aaaah, alrighty then, well, nice to meet you and welcome to Vigil's Keep. I'm glad you're taking care of my dear friend, Leli. I appreciate it," Sabrina said.

"It is an honor. I can't begin to tell you how much I've enjoyed accompanying her. She tells the most wonderful tales about you. Sorry, I must seem like such a chatterbox," Bonkzy said nervously as she blushed furiously.

Sabrina shot Leliana a look of displeasure. The Seeker giggled, "I didn't tell her any of the really juicy stuff. I'll save that for later."

"I'd like to hear the juicy stuff," Tristen said as he approached the group.

Leliana shook her head in amazement. "I'd heard Alistair had an identical twin, but I was not prepared for the resemblance."

Tristen grinned and then bowed to her, "I'm Tristen. It's a pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Sabrina's is a friend of mine."

"Ooo Bree, did he come to you this way… all suave and debonair or did you have to train him as you did with Alistair?" Leliana cooed.

"No training required," Sabrina giggled.

"Hmmph, train me? She never trained me," Alistair grumbled.

"Well, then maybe that's the problem," Anders whispered.

"As fascinating as this reunion is, we really have business to discuss," Cassandra stated.

"Yes, I agree so why don't we do that over lunch. I will let the kitchen staff know to set-up my private dining room for us," Sabrina said.

"That would be lovely, Bree. Thank you," Leliana said.

Zev slid his arm around Bonkzy's waist, "Follow me my dear. While they discuss business, I will show you around."

"I don't want a tour of the Keep, Zev. I want a tour of you," Bonkzy purred.

"Sweetness, that's what I meant," Zev chortled, as he led her out of the throne room.

An hour later, Anders hid in a secret room, just off of the private dining room. Rendon Howe must have had it built so that he could spy on his guests when he wasn't in the room. Sabrina wanted him there so that he could hear firsthand what the Chantry wanted with him and Mari. Once he was in place, Cassandra and Leliana were escorted into the Commander's private dining room. When Leliana saw Alistair she squealed with delight and leapt into his arms. "Alistair, it's so good to see you."

Alistair hugged her and kissed her cheek, "It's good to see you too." Then he leaned in to whisper, "She did not train me."

Leliana giggled, "I knew you were up in the balcony. I said that just to give you a hard time."

"You knew?" Alistair said in shock.

"Oh course, I would be a terrible bard if I didn't know that," Leliana cooed.

"I didn't know that the King of Ferelden was here," Cassandra said coldly.

"I am here as a Warden and a trusted advisor to the Commander," Alistair said calmly.

Cassandra gave a curt nod and took her seat. Once their lunch had been served, Sabrina looked over at Cassandra, "Earlier, you said that you wanted my help to reach out to Mari and Anders to help stop the Chantry rebellions; rebellions that were started by a revolutionary act that Anders committed. What makes you think that he would want to aid you now?"

"Because the rebellions have brought to light that some of the views of the Chantry regarding mages, were flawed," Cassandra stated.

"Flawed views?" Sabrina questioned incredulously. "You treated mages as less than human; they didn't even have the most basic human rights. You locked them in with gate keepers that at best viewed them as animals to be caged, and at worst monsters that were just waiting to be executed. And if a mage raised their voice against these atrocities they were made tranquil. Tranquil… you took their minds and personalities away from them. That is more than 'flawed'. Besides being completely fucked up, that is morally reprehensible," Sabrina said condescendingly.

"The Divine realizes this and wants to make changes," Cassandra said cautiously.

"What type of changes?" Sabrina asked.

"I am not at liberty to say," Cassandra replied.

"Well, then I'm not at liberty to help you," Sabrina stated flatly.

Cassandra raised an eyebrow and looked to Leliana for support, but before the bard could say anything Sabrina leaned back, crossed her arms across her chest and fixed her stare on the Seeker. "Cassandra, if you thought bringing Leliana here was going to make me all warm and fuzzy with nostalgia so that I then spilled my deepest darkest secrets, well I'm sorry, but you're going to go away disappointed. Leliana should have told you that my Wardens come first, their safety comes first. Even if I could, I would not consult with Anders on this matter without knowing any of the details, nor would I take the word of a Chantry Seeker that a wanted apostate would be safe in her company without some assurance for his protection. Sorry Seeker, you're going to have to do better than that if you want my help."

"You know I could just wait, he won't always be under your protection forever. I could just be patient and wait for him to leave the Keep then take him into my custody," Cassandra said coolly.

Sabrina gave a sardonic laugh. "Leli, did you even prep her at all before this visit?" Sabrina looked over at her friend. "I don't believe you did, or else you would have her that I don't take it well when threatened and I sure as hell don't allow someone to threaten me in my home. You are not winning friends or influencing people here, Seeker."

"Seeker, you have to see that the Commander is right. You are asking her to place all of her trust in you without you giving anything in return. If you want this negotiation to work there has to be an equal exchange of information," Alistair stated diplomatically.

Cassandra gave another curt nod. She paused to collect her thoughts before she continued, "The Divine still believes that mages are too powerful and have the potential of becoming too dangerous for them to be left to their own devices. This still makes templars necessary as a balance to all that potential power. However, she would like to see the mages and templars work together as partners instead of as gate keeper and slave."

Sabrina's eyes widened with astonishment and a collective gasp could be heard around the table. "That's… a very enlightened concept and very interesting. How would that work?"

"The basic idea is that we would pair a templar and a mage together at a young age. They would train and learn to work together with mutual respect and trust," Cassandra explained.

"Wow, that's an amazing idea, but how would she implement such a thing?" Sabrina asked.

"That is what she wants to speak with Anders and Mari about. The Divine has a few ideas, but would really like to hear Anders thoughts and have him involved with the rebuilding of the Circle. Since Anders was critical in starting the revolution and because these rebellions are fueled in his name, she believes that his input would be invaluable. Also his involvement would give credibility to the plan," Cassandra stated.

"Anders would not be involved if the Chantry plans on continuing the practice of ripping families apart by forcing mages into the tower. What is the Divine's answer to that?"

"You seem to know Anders very well. Your ability to address his concerns is very intriguing. It will take time, but her ultimate goal is to have the Circle viewed as a prominent institution that trains mages. If we can change the opinion on how the Circle is perceived, if it is seen as an institute of learning, then it would be a privilege for your child to go there, to be educated there," Cassandra stated.

"But if a child didn't want to go, then what?" Alistair asked.

"We know that starting out, no one is going to trust us so we want to pick a hand full of trusted enchanters and templars and send them into each town to act as the local school for mages.  
Once the trust is built and they realize that no harm will come to them, we hope that they will opt to go to the Circle, but if they don't they can continue training at their local school," Cassandra explained.

"I have to tell you I am completely blown away by this innovative and… revolutionary way of thinking. I want to believe and trust you, but the Chantry doesn't exactly have the best track record. Is there some way of showing that you mean no harm to Anders, or any other mage for that matter?" Sabrina asked.

"That is why I brought Leliana along with me. She has been involved in this plan from the beginning. She would not come here and tell you that we mean no harm to Anders if our real intent was to kill him. You know her well; do you believe that she would go along with that?"

"No she wouldn't, which means that if you did mean him any harm, you wouldn't tell her about it," Sabrina stated matter-of-factly.

"Are you always so suspicious?" Cassandra asked.

Sabrina chuckled, "I didn't survive a civil war, unite an army while fighting a Blight by being naïve. So I ask again, what can you show as a sign of good faith?"

"What would you like?" Cassandra asked.

Sabrina arched an eyebrow, "You're leaving this up to me?"

"Yes, I was ordered by the Divine to secure your help by any means necessary. So tell me what you need, to show that we are serious and mean you, Anders or Mari no harm," Cassandra said.

Sabrina stood up and paced the room for a few minutes before she replied. "I want a decree from the Divine that states all mages are free to live their lives the way that they choose, and this freedom will also allow them to marry," Sabrina stated.

"Done," Cassandra said as she pulled out a blank piece of parchment that had the Divine's signature and seal at the bottom. Cassandra wrote out the decree as everyone stared at her, completely stunned.

"I will immediately have copies of this sent to every Chantry and the remaining Circles in Thedas. Now, can we meet with Anders?"

Sabrina smiled. "I will pass on everything that you have told me here today and will get back to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, I hope that you will enjoy the hospitality of the Wardens and stay here at the Keep."

"We would be honored to be your guests," Cassandra said.

Sabrina made a gesture and a house servant entered. "Joss, Cassandra and Leliana will be staying at the Keep for a couple of days. Could you please show them to the guest quarters?"

"Yes, Arlessa." The petite elf turned to the Seekers, "Please follow me."

Once the Seekers had left the room and were out of earshot, Anders burst out of the secret room, raced to Sabrina, scooped her into his arms and kissed her. She laughed hysterically. He put her down and grinned at her husband, "Sorry Tristen, I got a little carried away."

"Just don't let it happen again," Tristen replied, unable to help grinning at the mage's enthusiasm.

"By the Maker's smoking pole, that was bloody brilliant, Bree! I can't believe that you convinced the Chantry to allow mages to marry." Anders was as happy as a pirate, with a dozen wenches and an island of rum.

"Well, it was the one thing that I felt would let me know how serious they were. Alistair, let's send a bird messenger to the Grand Cleric in Denerim. I want to know the moment that they receive the decree from the Divine. That will let us know if Cassandra is just giving us lip service or if she is a woman of her word," Sabrina said.

"That's a wise move," Alistair said.

"So Anders what do you think about what was said?" Sabrina asked.

"I think it was amazing, unbelievable… it's almost too good to be true. But if the Divine is sincere in her new found conviction, then it is exciting and for the first time ever… hopeful, and I will want to be a part of it," Anders replied with the huge smile still on his face.

"Anders, I don't necessarily agree with your methods, but I do understand that a drastic shift needed to happen in order for all of Thedas to begin to view things differently. I also realize that people's beliefs are so engrained that sometimes it does take a radical act for those opinions to start to change. Your actions in Kirkwall were the catalyst for the ideas discussed here today; ideas that are transforming and innovative. As a direct result of your actions, you may have just changed the lives of mages for generations to come. Today, everyone in this room witnessed history in the making. That decree will change the lives of thousands of people. I am not proud of the means in which you brought about change, but I am proud of you for risking everything you believed in, to try and bring about that change. I am honored to know you, Anders, and privileged to call you friend," Sabrina said sincerely.

Her words and faith in him touched him profoundly and for a moment was moved beyond the ability to speak.

"Well, this is definitely an historical moment, you stunned Anders into utter silence," Tristen chuckled.

Anders grabbed Sabrina and hugged her furiously. "Thank you. Thank you for never losing faith in me. I owe you so much."

"So you want to meet with them?" Sabrina asked.

Anders laughed. "Yes, I believe that I do. However, Mari won't be back at the Keep for another three days and I don't want to meet them without her," Anders replied.

"Okay, I can let them know that there is some travel time involved. So if we tell them that you will meet with them in four days, that should be enough time to hear back from the Chantry in Denerim. Sound fair?"

"Yes, it does. Now, for an even more important question, where is a good place to get a ring?"

Tristen laughed, threw his arm around the mage, and winked at Sabrina. "Come with me, I will introduce you to my personal jeweler."

That evening the Grand Hall was filled only with Wardens, with the exception of Leliana and Zev. After a very hearty meal, Alistair walked up the stairs of the dais. Tonight he was not here as a Warden, he was here as their King. He wore a red and gold doublet with matching red trousers and his jeweled crown rested comfortably upon his head. He looked very majestic.

"Can I have your attention please?" Alistair bellowed. The room quieted down and all eyes were on him. Sabrina was impressed with the confidence that Alistair now exuded before the crowd. He had come a long way from the shy ex-templar she had met in Ostagar. She was proud of the king that he had become and although most of the credit was owed to Anora and Fiona, she hoped that she had helped cultivate some of that strength and wisdom during their brief time together.

"Now, I know that Commander Theirin hates pomp and circumstance, but when an act of heroism is so grand and impressive, the deed cannot go by without being recognized and not even our lovely Sabrina can stop it. However, before I turn my attention to embarrassing your Commander, there are a few people I want to recognize first. Within this room, there are three of Sabrina's Blight companions… well actually four, but I wasn't counting myself," Alistair said with a grin.

"Although they have been recognized for their heroism before, I believe that you cannot honor them enough. Their loyalty to Sabrina and Ferelden is without compare. Leliana, Zevran and Oghren, would you please join me up here?"

The three of them made their way to the front of the hall and bowed before the King. "For your loyal and faithful service to Ferelden and the Grey Wardens, I would like to present you each with a sword, made from silverite and some of the finest gems that Bree has found in her travels. The blade is engraved with a crest that I am sure all of you are now familiar with. Ferelden and the Wardens thank you," Alistair said.

He handed each of them their sword and they bowed as they received it. Oghren looked at the blade and grinned, "So that is what the tattoo on my arse looks like. Good one, Commander."

Sabrina laughed and winked at the dwarf.

As the three went to move back to their seats, Alistair had Zevran and Oghren to remain. Leli grinned at them as she left the dais.

"Next I would like to honor the Wardens that recently went into the Deep Roads with Sabrina. You exemplified what it means to be a Warden when you set out on this mission. You knew that the cost could be very high, yet you still forged ahead, bravely and valiantly. Sabrina couldn't have done it alone and you supported and aided her throughout the entire mission, despite certain death. Tristen, Anders, Nathaniel, Tess and Neria please join Zevran, Oghren and myself."

Zevran and Oghren grinned in relief as the others lined up beside him and bowed. "Your actions epitomize the Warden Motto, victory, vigilance and sacrifice. For your loyalty and faithful service to Ferelden and to the Wardens, I would like to present the same sword to you. I also award you with armor that is being specifically crafted for each of you, that will also have Sabrina's crest engraved on the breastplate. Ferelden and the Wardens thank you," Alistair said as he ceremoniously made his way down the line presenting the fine blades to each of them.

Zev looked questioningly at Alistair as he now found himself holding two of them. Alistair simply smiled and shrugged, "Can't have you with only one sword, what would people think?"

Zevran was shaking his head and chuckling as they made their way back to their seats.

Alistair finally turned to Sabrina, "Commander, would you please join me?"

Sabrina made her way to the bottom of the dais and bowed. "Once again, you have proven to all that know you, what the heart of a true hero looks like. When your endeavors led to the end of the Blight, Ferelden rejoiced at their Hero. This time, outside of the Wardens, most will never know of your courageous actions in the Deep Roads, most will never hear the tale of how the fearless Sabrina Theirin not only faced one, but two Archdemons and lived to tell about it. Most will not know how gallantly you fought to ensure that another Blight did not occur, but those in this room know, and we will never forget your heroic action…"

Alistair was interrupted as every Warden in the room leapt to their feet and let out huge cheers. Alistair grinned as he watched her cringe with embarrassment. After a few moments of the thunderous applause, when he was sure that Sabrina couldn't get any redder, Alistair held up his hands for silence. The room quickly became quiet, but the Wardens remained on their feet. "Commander Sabrina Theirin, for your heroic actions in the Deep Roads and your continued loyalty and faithful service to Ferelden and the Grey Wardens, I present you with the same sword and armor as your fellow Wardens. In addition, I give to you this enchanted pendant that was also crafted with your crest, as a reminder that you have left your mark on all of us, that we are forever in your debt." Alistair bent down and clasped the necklace around her neck as another round of deafening applause went up.

He looked deeply into her eyes for a long moment and then he whispered, "I am so proud of you, Bree. Your actions have once again humbled me and reminded me what it means to love unconditionally." He gently kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Alistair. That means a lot coming from you, but if the rumors are true, I do believe that you demonstrated the meaning of unconditional love when you offered to take Tristen's place in the ritual. I can't tell how much that meant to me," she whispered back.

He blushed and smiled weakly at her. "I would do anything for you and Tristen."

She smiled back at him, "I know and we would do anything for you."

The rest of the evening was spent with large amounts of ale being consumed, Oghren typically passing out on the table and a lot of storytelling amongst friends.

**xxXxx**

The following morning Sabrina felt Tristen slip out of bed early. She drifted back to sleep until some time later, she felt him lean over her and feather kisses down her cheek and neck.

"Mmmm, that's nice. I want to wake like that every morning," Sabrina purred.

"Oh, I think I can arrange that," Tristen murmured as he nipped at her ear.

She yelped in surprise as her eyes flew open. "What was that for?"

"I need you to wake up," Tristen said.

"But the bed is so warm, don't you want to join me in here, instead of me joining you out there," she moaned.

"As tempting as that is I need you to get out of bed," Tristen insisted.

"If you join me, I'll do that thing you like with my tongue," Sabrina cooed.

"Now you're just being cruel, Brin. Come on, Love, get out of bed. I have a surprise for you," Tristen said.

Sabrina sat up straight in bed, grinned as rubbed her hands together. "A surprise? Why didn't you say so? Oooo, did you get me something from the jeweler when you took Anders?"

Tristen chuckled. "You're as bad as a kid about to open their gifts during Twelfth Night."

"I love presents. I just like knowing that they're coming, but when I am surprised with them, that's the best."

"Well I need you to get up and get dressed," Tristen said.

"What? What kind of present requires me to be dressed? My favorite presents are the undressed kind," Sabrina grinned mischievously at him as she patted the bed.

"You're killing me, Brin, but we only have a little bit of time, so please get up and get dressed quickly," Tristen begged.

With a sigh, Sabrina scooted out from under the covers and threw on a pair of trousers, a sweater and boots.

"Okay, now come here. I need to blindfold you," Tristen said and couldn't suppress the grin as Sabrina raised her eyebrow and a roguish grin spread across her face.

"I have ideas for how we can put this blindfold to better use later on," Tristen said as he securely tied it over her eyes.

"Promises, promises, Tristen Theirin," she cooed.

"Okay, now take my arm and I will guide you through the Keep," Tristen said.

She did as instructed and followed him as he led her out of their room, down the hall, down the stairs and into the throne room. She could hear the voice of others in the room, but she couldn't make out exactly where they were.

"Ohh, nice blindfold, do you have some handcuffs to go with that?" Zev chortled

"Wow, that isn't something you see every day. Is that some type of new training exercise, or just another one of those kinky things you do?" Anders chimed in.

"Is that a Warden issue blindfold, Commander? Cause I didn't get one when they sent me my Warden uniform," Oghren asked.

"You people do realize that I won't have this damn blindfold on forever and I am going to seriously kick your asses," Sabrina grumbled, as Tristen opened the front door to the Keep.

"Hey Tristen, your bedroom is back the other way. If I remember correctly, Sabrina doesn't like having sex in the cold," Alistair chuckled.

"Would you flip him off for me, Honey?" Sabrina asked and Tristen happily obliged.

Tristen led her across the courtyard and into the stables. "Now Brin, please sit down here on this bale of straw. Stay perfectly still, okay?"

Sabrina sighed, nodded and sat down. She sat there for several minutes and was starting to become quite bored, when a wet nose made her jump as her hand was sniffed, then a warm wet tongue licked her. She squealed in surprise and pulled off the blindfold and looked down into the warm brown eyes of a mabari puppy. She slid off the bale and knelt down until she was on the mabari's level. The puppy licked her nose and then snuggled his head under her chin. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Tristen.

"It's been eight years since Strider died. I know how much you have missed him. When I heard that a breeder in Amaranthine was having a litter, I thought now would be a good time to bring a mabari back to the Wardens. I asked the breeder to bring the litter here to see if one imprinted on you," Tristen explained.

"So he..." she lifted the puppy up. "Correction, so _she_is mine?"

Tristen smiled at her, "Yes, Love, she is yours."

With the puppy still in her arms, she leapt to her feet and hugged her husband. "Thank you, thank you so much."

He kissed her passionately. "I would do anything for you, Brin. It brings me joy to make you happy."

Tristen put his arm around her and led his wife and their new puppy back into the Keep.

* * *

A/N – Once again, I want to thank everyone that reads and follows this story. I appreciate you adding it to your alert and favorites list and thank you for your wonderful reviews. I love hearing your thoughts.

*I also want to thank my beta mages for helping make magic out of my rambling thoughts. You ladies rock! Thank you for your advice, support and most of all your friendship.

I made up a little ditty on my last update for Jinx so it's only fair that I create one for Random. So here is my serenade to you.

Random's got a pen  
Random's got a pen  
Her whole world's come undone  
From lookin' straight at the sun  
What did her writer do?  
What did she put you through?  
She throw in one to many chortles  
so you threw her underneath a train  
But man, she had it comin' Now that Random's got a pen  
those chortles are never gonna be the same.


	16. Chapter 16 If You're Out There

**Chapter 16**

"No more broken promises, no more call to war, unless it's love and peace that we're really fighting for

We can destroy hunger, we can conquer hate, put down the arms and raise your voice, we're joining hands today

Oh I was looking for a song to sing, I searched for a leader, but the leader was me, we were looking for the world to change

We can be heroes, just go on and say, if you're out there, sing along with me, if you're out there

I'm dying to believe that you're out there, stand up and say it loud, if you're out there

Tomorrow's starting now, now, now, if you're ready we can shake the world, believe again

It starts within, we don't have to wait for destiny, we should be the change that we want to see"

_If You're Out There by John Legend_

Six months had gone by since the Divine's decree that all mages were free to pursue their own lives and given the right to marry. They were beginning to understand the cost of freedom, as vigilantes, unhappy with the changing world around them, began to hunt down those that were afraid to come under the umbrella of the Chantry's protection. Alistair couldn't blame the mistrust of the apostates, given the history the Chantry had with mages, but eventually he hoped that they would see that the system had changed, and that everything around them was reacting to that change. True to her word the Divine had worked closely with Anders and Mari these past months to, implement a plan of action that hopefully would gain the trust of the mages. With Alistair and Anora's permission, Denerim had been selected as the test city for the first Chantry School of Magical Instruction and Education. The idea was that these schools would act as the primary schools and that once trained and trust had been built between the mage and templar partners, they would then go onto the Circles to further their training.

It was a detailed and pioneering plan, but one that could work if given the proper support. Ser Hadley, a good natured fellow from the Ferelden Circle who didn't view mages as evil had been promoted to Knight-Commander of the school. He was to work directly with the new school's First Enchanter, Bethany Hawke. Knight-Commander Hadley and First Enchanter Bethany reported directly to Grand Enchanter Anders, Knight-Vigilant Cullen and First Seeker Leliana, who simply became known as The Three. The Three answered directly to The Divine and were critical in implementing Divine Justinia's vision. The Denerim Chantry School of Magical Instruction and Education would open their doors to the public the next day.

Alistair and Anora had made the decision to be the test city for the Chantry without bringing it first before the Landsmeet. They argued that this was a Chantry request; more importantly a request from the Divine herself and that a request from the Divine superseded the nobles of the land. As Alistair looked out at the nobles gathered for the Landsmeet he tried to judge friend from foe. He needed to convince them that this was the right choice for Denerim and for Ferelden and gather their support. It would be the only way that the school would succeed and if they failed, the blame would rest directly on Alistair's shoulders. He took a deep breath; Anora squeezed his hand in support as he stood to address the nobles.

"Lords and Ladies, we stand on the precipice of extraordinary and historical change; not just for Denerim or Ferelden, but for all of Thedas. Tomorrow, as nobles of this fair land, we will bear witness to the opening of the first of many new magical schools that will bring about the necessary change for both mages and templars. Where these two groups were once considered adversaries, they will now become allies. They will partner together, learn together and work together for the betterment of all mankind," Alistair said with an air of excitement.

He stepped off of the dais and walked amongst the nobles as he continued to speak, so that they felt connected to him and to his words. "As Fereldans we have the opportunity to observe these exceptional events, but more importantly to participate in them. To ensure that the efforts of the Divine, the Chantry and the Three succeed. The eyes of the world are on us now. It is Ferelden's time to shine in the sun. Let's show them the strength and resolve that we are known for, and let them to see that we are also an open-minded and tolerant people. The thoughts and ideas of the people of a nation flow from the top down. You are leaders in this country, your opinions matter to those that follow you, it's time for you to demonstrate to your people your strength to embrace change and your understanding that the Maker created us all uniquely different, but wonderful. So I implore you, the nobles of this realm, to follow me and lead Ferelden and Thedas into a brave and exciting new world."

A loud applause went up and as Alistair returned to the dais he noticed both his wife and Sabrina making mental notes of those who were less than enthusiastic of their appreciation for the king's remarks. That's good. Because even though the majority of the nobles had embraced the Chantry changes, there were always a few that continued to be a thorn in his side. Namely Bann Ceorlic, Arl Baldric of Gwaren a distant cousin of Anora's, who should be grateful for the rise in station, he had a funny way of showing his gratitude. Arl Wulff who never fully recovered from the loss of his sons and was now just an angry, argumentative old man. He would need to keep an eye on them. His larger and more powerful supporters were of course, the Teyrnir of Highever, the Arling of Amaranthine, Rainesfere, and the newly appointed Teyrn of South Reach, Leonas Bryland. Eamon who remained Arl of Redcliffe and acted as his Chancellor was always an ally, but tried to remain neutral in front of the nobles. He would rely heavily on them to continue their support of his and the Chantries efforts.

"Since most of you haven't had the opportunity to meet the Three, I have asked them to join us here today to answer any questions you might have. Please welcome Grand Enchanter Anders, Knight-Vigilant Cullen and First Seeker Leliana," Alistair said as mild applause went up when the Three made their way to the front of the room.

"Who has the first question?" Alistair asked.

Teagan was the first to stand. He smiled warmly at the Three. "Welcome, we are honored to have you join us and we appreciate you taking the time to be here. As His Majesty said, this is very exciting times that we live in, but they are also dangerous times. There have been increased attacks on both mages and templars since the fall of the Chantries. With the school's location in the Denerim, what is the Chantry doing to ensure the safety of people that live and work near the school?"

Leliana smiled her warmest smile as she stepped forward. "I'm glad that you asked that. An elite guard has been formed called the Phoenix. They have been created to protect the school, the students and the inhabitance of those that live and work in the surrounding area."

Alistair had to do everything he could to keep from smiling. The Phoenix was made up of ex-Crows and Bards that both Zev and Leli had known and trusted. Bonkzy, who as it turned out was an excellent actress and wasn't crazy at all was the captain of the Phoenix. She had been training the elite guardsmen day and night to have them ready for the opening of the school.

"Well that's wonderful to hear," Teagan said as he took his seat.

Bann Esmerelle from the City of Amaranthine was on her feet, "Is it going to be Ferelden's new policy to give all the power of the throne and all the nobles to the Divine and the Three?"

Anora was on her feet in a heartbeat and standing beside her husband. "We have not given over our power to rule this land to the Chantry, the Divine or the Three. The power to govern Ferelden remains with the ruling sovereign of this country. As your King and Queen, we decided that for the betterment of all of Ferelden's citizens that we should work and support the Divine in these brave new endeavors. Do you think that you are wiser and more knowledgeable of the Maker's will, Bann Esmerelle, than the Divine herself?"

The Bann had the decency to look abashed, "No, Your Majesty, of course not." The blushing Bann took her seat once again.

"How long do you think it will take for all of the attacks to stop and for everyone to start living and working peacefully again?" Teryn Bryland asked.

Leliana continued to be the spokesperson for the group. "We are weeding out the culprits behind these attacks even as we speak. The situation should be under control within the month. In the meantime, our guards have doubled their patrols to ensure everyone's safety."

Anna Cousland stood, "Is there any way in which we, the nobles of this land can aid in this new venture?"

This time it was Anders who stepped forward to answer. It had amazed Alistair how much the mage had matured over the past six months. He was no longer the swearing, flippant apostate that he had met all those years ago, nor was he the brooding vengeful mage he had been reacquainted with in Kirkwall. This was a man with a purpose, a vision, who was focused not just on the plight of the mages, but on the desire to see the entire system change and succeed.

"The best thing that you can do to aid our cause is to continue to support the schools, to communicate with your people, letting them know that we are here to help them and their children. That we are not here to take their children from them, but that we want to properly educate and train them. Until we can do that in schools near their homes we need them feel good about sending them to us in Denerim. We are here to help them succeed," Anders spoke eloquently, but passionately and everyone in the room could feel the man's desire to make this endeavor succeed.

"Your Majesty, if you were to find out that one of the nobles has a child with magical abilities and has hidden it from all others. What will be done to that noble? Will their lands be taken and their title forfeit, or will they just be let go, even though it was against the law when they committed the crime?"

"Arl Baldric, under the current decree by the Chantry it is not against the law for a commoner or a noble have a child with magical abilities. The decree negates their past actions so no they would not have to forfeit their lands or their title and as long as they have another heir to inherited the lands and title everything would remain in the family's name," Alistair replied as he tried to hide his disdain for the man.

Sabrina was the next to stand. She smiled that disarming grin of hers as she spoke, "If a mage should come under the possession of a demon, will the templars still have the right to kill the abomination?"

It had been Sabrina that had fought for the appointment of Cullen to the Three. She felt that there wasn't anyone more suitable for the job. She argued that Cullen had seen and experienced the worst that a mage could inflict yet the templar still managed find the mage's plight understandable. Mari had testified that Cullen had aided them in the defeat of Meredith and had allowed her and her companions to go after the final battle. Sabrina also argued that Cullen would be a good counter balance for Anders who at times could be overly enthusiastic.

Knight-Vigilant Cullen stepped forward. "Of course the templars would have the right to kill an abomination as would a mage have the right to do the same. Abominations have never been nor would they ever be tolerated. However, a possession is something that is different and if reached in time the person can be saved. It has taken me some time to realize that the preservation of human life is the most important factor. If the life of the person can be saved then that will always be our first course of action. In an abomination the person that once was there no longer exists. They are just a husk for the demon to live in. That is what we will always set out to destroy."

"Thank you, I know that will relieve the minds of many," Sabrina said as she took her seat.

"Would there be a difference in cost whether a person chooses to be trained at the circle or at one of the local schools? Minor Banns and commoners don't all have the necessary coin to be able to afford it, or would they?" The new Arl of Denerim, Eli Godwin asked.

Again Leliana answered the question. "The Chantry will be paying for the cost of the education. However, there has been a scholarships set-up to help with travel expenses, books and other materials needed for those that need the aid." She turned to Anna Cousland as she finished her reply, "That would be another way to help aid the Chantry with its effort. If the bannorn and arlings could support their region's children that need the aid it would be most helpful."

Both Fergus and his wife nodded in agreement as did many of the other nobles. The questions continued on for the rest of the day and by the time that Alistair brought the meeting to a close, the Three looked exhausted, but very satisfied with the results and feedback they received.

**xxXxx**

The following morning all the nobles from the Landsmeet met outside the Denerim Chantry School of Magical Instruction and Education. A huge ribbon had been placed across the entrance to the school's front courtyard. Knight-Commander Hadley and First Enchanter Bethany stood inside the courtyard while the Three stood on the opposite side.

Leliana gracefully stepped forward, "On this historical day, thank you for coming to witness this amazing event. We hope and pray to the Maker that there will be many more of these days to follow, as we move towards a new and exciting future."

Leliana then drew her dagger, Anders and Cullen both grasped the pommel, then the three of them brought the blade down cutting the ribbon in half. Alistair and Anora stepped forward. "I now declare the Denerim Chantry School of Magical Instruction and Education officially open," Alistair bellowed then stepped aside as thirty children between the ages of five to fifteen made their way through the gate and were welcomed by Hadley and Bethany.

A collective sigh of relief escaped the Three's lips. Alistair made his way over to them, "This is very impressive work that the three of you have done here. I know this is only the beginning, but I am glad to have been a part of it."

"We couldn't have done it without your help, your Majesty. Thank you for your support and aid," Leliana said.

"I was happy to do it. So what's next?" Alistair asked.

"Well, we will travel throughout Ferelden meeting in small towns and explaining the purpose of the school and hopefully dispelling any fears," Leliana said.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do to help," Alistair said.

Leliana smiled, "Oh believe me, you will be the first to know."

After that the grand opening the rest of the Landsmeet was a letdown, however most of the nobles were talking about the very public wedding of Anders and the Champion of Kirkwall, Mari Hawke, that was taking place at the end of the week. Much to the dismay of Anders and Mari, Alistair had suggested that since Anders was the Grand Enchanter, his wedding should be a public affair so that people could continue to see that there was nothing to fear if a non mage married a mage and that as Grand Enchanter he needed to set the example. As a compromise, they had agreed to the public ceremony, but the reception would be held privately at the Denerim Warden Compound.

Tonight, Alistair was heading to Wanda's Wonderful World of Whips, Shags & Gags for Anders' bachelor party much to the dismay of his wife. Meanwhile, Sabrina was hosting Mari's bachelorette party at the Pearl, but not before Anora had insisted on Bree and Mari joining her for tea and sandwiches at the Palace. Alistair had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the look on Sabrina's face when Anora had been adamant that she bring the Champion by first. Tristen had to poke Sabrina in the back to remind her to speak and that a reply was in order. Begrudgingly, Sabrina accepted the invitation and promised to be at the Palace by seven o'clock.

As Alistair, Tristen and Fergus made their way through the throne room, a guard was escorting Sabrina and Mari back to Anora's private dining room. Both of them were exquisitely dressed in satin and lace gowns. Fergus let out a catcall whistle and they spun around looking at him.

"My, my aren't you ladies a little over dressed for the Pearl," Tristen chuckled.

Sabrina's eyes flared, "You know damn well I'm not headed to the Pearl at this particular moment."

"Oh, that's right, you have to go and see Anora first," Alistair snickered. "Please, try not to pull that stripper act of yours just to make her faint!"

"Stripper act, I need a small army to get out of this gown," Sabrina retorted.

"I don't believe I would need an army to get you out of it," Tristen grinned impishly at her.

"Are you going to invite Anora with you? Oooo, I know the perfect outfit for her. A slutty Grand Cleric! That will go over well, don't you think?" Alistair asked.

Mari started to choke, "T-that is a visual I could have done without. Thanks, Alistair."

"You girls have now," Fergus said as they turned to leave.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do boys," Sabrina called back.

"Well, that leaves a lot of doors open then," Fergus replied as they rounded the corner.

**xxXxx**

Alistair felt something cool pressed against his face. He opened his eyes, everything was blurry and the light hurt his head. He immediately closed his eyes. Sweet Andraste's tits his head ached. It felt like an Archdemon's ass had sat on his skull. The cold concrete floor felt wonderful and he didn't want to move from here...ever. But his bladder was protesting loudly to that plan, so he pushed himself up and that is when he noticed the rope tied around his one wrist. What the hell?

He stumbled down the hall to the privey chamber, even through his blurred vision and pounding head he managed to find the chamber pot. As he stood there relieving himself of what felt like five gallons, he tried to recall how he had ended up face down on the floor. His mind was drawing a blank when he heard a snort from behind him. Alistair slowly turned toward the sound and saw a large gray mass standing behind him. He wiped his eyes trying to clear his vision.

"Holy shit," he breathed out as he stared into the eyes of a baby bronto that was very angry. Alistair leapt out of the way, into the hall as it charged and he slammed the door shut. He took several deep breaths, "What the hell was a bronto doing in their privey chamber?"

Alistair staggered back down the hall to the main room. The room was a complete disaster; tables and chairs thrown all over the room, ale mugs tossed about, several pairs of female small clothes strewn from the lamps and the chandelier. Tristen was passed out on top of the bar, Zev was sleeping in the bed with two women, both appeared naked, but Zev was clothed. Huh? Go figure that. Fergus was asleep at one end of the sofa and Nate at the other end. Alistair went over to Tristen and shook him. His brother groaned, so he shook him again.

"Unless you are an Archdemon or my wife, you better leave me the hell alone," Tristen moaned in pain.

"Tristen, wake up. I think we have a problem," Alistair said.

"Mmmm, what kind of problem," Tristen grunted his eyes still tightly shut.

"Well, if you would open your eyes you might begin grasp the gravity of the situation," Alistair replied.

Tristen slowly opened his eyes as he began to process the destruction in the room he bolted up then groaned and grabbed his head. "What the hell?"

"Oh it's worse, there is a baby bronto in the bathroom and Anders is missing?"

"What? What do you mean missing?"

"Missing - absent, misplaced, mislaid, gone, gone astray, not here..."

"I don't need a whole canticle on the meaning of the word. I need you to explain what you mean by Anders is missing," Tristen demanded.

"Would you like me to define the damn word for you again? He isn't here, I don't know where he his, but he is getting married tomorrow...a very public wedding by the way - thanks to my brilliant idea and I have misplaced the groom and most of my memory from last night," Alistair retorted.

Tristen looked around the room, shook his head and laughed, "Wow, what a night!"

Alistair grinned at his brother and watched Tristen's face turn white as his eyes widened while at the same time he tried to suppress grin, "Aaah Alistair, brother, your two front teeth are chipped."

"What?" Alistair scrambled to his feet in search of a mirror. He found pieces of a broken one on the floor. He looked and saw that his front two teeth were indeed broken in half. "How the bloody hell did that happen?"

"Don't worry, Anders or Fiona can heal you," Tristen stated.

"Well they better do it before my wife sees me or else they won't need to worry about healing me because she will kill me," Alistair groaned.

Tristen jumped off the bar and walked over to Zev. He poked at the elf, who remained motionless. Tristen then shook him and yelled, "Zev, come on, wake up. We have a couple of problems."

"Define problems," Zev moaned.

"Problems -Troubles, setbacks, hitches, obstacles..." Alistair began.

"NOT the word, what are the problems?" Zev asked.

"Well, first it would appear that we have a bronto in the privey chamber," Tristen explained.

Zev laughed, "Yeah, Oghren definitely proved Felsi wrong with that one."

"What? What did that damn dwarf prove wrong?" Alistair demanded.

"That you couldn't ride a bucking bronto in space as small as a bathroom," Zev chortled.

"We brought a bronto in here to prove Oghren's wife wrong?" Alistair asked incredulously.

"Yep, what's the next problem?" Zev asked.

"Our King has gone a bit ...toothless," Tristen explained.

Zev again started laugh again. "Yes, I forgot about that. Now, that was pretty funny."

"How did my front teeth get broken?" Alistair asked.

"Oh, you have Tristen's lovely wife to thank for that. That vixen has one mean left hook," Zev chortled.

"What?" Both of the brothers demanded together.

"I'll get to that in a moment. Is there another problem I need to know about," Zev asked.

"Well, yes, it would seem that we have misplaced Anders," Tristen said.

Now Zev sat up, "What do you mean misplaced? And if you give me a definition, King or no King, I will smack you."

"We don't know where he is," Tristen stated.

"He isn't here? Are you sure? Because he came back here with us , he was here when Alistair lost his teeth. He promised to heal you in the morning," Zev explained.

"He isn't here," Alistair reaffirmed. "So tell us what all you remember."

"Well, on our way back from picking up the bronto, we stopped at the Pearl to see how the girls party was going. However, when we got there, the girls were nowhere to be found. So we came back here. Word had gotten around about Anders little party trick..."

"What little party trick?" Alistair asked.

"Oh, you weren't there when Varric explained how Isabela had first met Anders at the Pearl years ago," Zev asked. Alistiar shook his head. "Well Varric told us about how Anders had entertained everyone by managing to make every girl there and a few boys reach a...a happy ending without ever even touching them. He did it all through electric currents."

"Really? He can do that?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, he can and he demonstrated it briefly before we left, to the bar wench that was serving us. She had heard the stories about Anders and had been bugging him for a demonstration. So he gave her a little jolt, nothing too exciting although I guess it was pretty exciting to her because when we arrived back here they were lining up at our door. At this point, all of us were pretty drunk and Alistair, you made some comment that no one gets serviced for free. That electricity costs money and if they wanted a jolt, it was a sovereign per jolt. Honestly, it really was an off handed remark, but all those women started stuffing coins in your pockets like you were the goose being served for a Twelfth Night feast. When Anders refused they started to get a bit nasty, so in order to try and ease the growing tension, the mage sent out a few jolts, but this only excited them more. It was like mob scene, that was just about the time that girls decided to show up and see how our party was going. From their perceptive it didn't look good, it looked like the King of Ferelden was pimping out the services of the Grand Enchanter. Mari started crying, Sabrina got pissed, she marched up to you and said..." Zev started to laugh uncontrollably and just when he got control of him self then started to laugh again. Finally he managed to to say, "S-she said, 'I hear pimping isn't easy, lets see how much harder it is with no front teeth.' Then she let that left hook fly. You went down and didn't get up for the rest of the night."

Tristen burst out laughing. "Pimping isn't easy. She said that?"

Zev laughed and nodded.

"Maker, I love that woman," Tristen said with a grin. Zev nodded in agreement.

"I am not having loving feelings for her at this moment. I believe I've lost that loving feeling along with my teeth," Alistair grunted. Both Zev and Tristen burst out laughing again.

"Okay, so now the only mystery we need to solve is where the hell Anders went," Tristen said.

"Well, after the whole pimping thing and Alistair getting knocked out, everything kind of got fuzzy. The last thing I really remember was Bree hitting Alistair and Alistair hitting the floor," Zev said.

"Well, it would appear that we still have a big fucking problem. The Grand Enchanter is still missing," Tristen said soberly.

Before anyone could reply the door swung open, "Hello boys, I do believe I have an appointment to heal the King's teeth," Anders chuckled as he walked in.

"Anders!" All three exclaimed at the same time.

"Aaah, I see my arrival has been greatly anticipated," Anders replied.

"Where the hell have you been? We have been worried sick about you?" Tristen demanded.

"Well, after all the excitement of the Warden-Commander knocking the King of Ferelden out in a drunken brawl, I had to go find my beautiful fianceé and explain to her what really happened. After she forgave me, I sure as hell wasn't coming back here to spend the night with you lot. So I stayed with her last night, then came over here first thing to fix Alistair's teeth before Anora sends out every royal guard looking for him. I also explained to Sabrina what had really happened. She had the good sense to be ashamed and told me to tell you that she was sorry for knocking your teeth out of your mouth. That girl has a mean left hook. Where did she learn to hit like that?"

"That would be from me," Fergus grumbled softly as he rolled over. "If I remember correctly, she did tell us not do anything she wouldn't do, and I do believe, gentlemen, we did accomplish that last night. Now would you shut the bloody hell up so that I can get some sleep."

"Well that explains a lot," Alistair grumbled.

Anders quickly healed the King's two front teeth then the four of them headed out the door and left the others to recoup in peace.

* * *

**A/N** - **My fanfreckintastic beta and friend Jinxy asked the wonderfully talented Bonkzy to create a picture of Tristen and Sabrina. Well, the naughty Bonkzy created this very yummy picture of a memorable night they spent together. **** Thank you for bringing these two very remarkable and unforgettable characters to life. Here is a piece of Godiva chocolate for you. Enjoy! ****ht tp : / / jelly bonkerz .deviantart . co****m/gallery /#/ d3h2sa8****(remove the spaces)**

***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

***As always I need thank my Beta Goddess, ****Jinxy**** for her ****unique talent ****of making me look good****.**** You Rock, sister!**


	17. Chapter 17 Marry Me

**Chapter 17**

"Forever can never be long enough for me, to feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now we won't let them see, but there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted, love has surely shifted my way, marry me

Today and every day, marry Me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will, mm-hmm, say you will, mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me, feel like I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you, and you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over and love has finally shown her my way

Marry me, today and every day, marry me"

_Marry Me by Train_

Anders stood at the bottom of the dais as the music began to play. The Chantry was packed to standing room only, mostly with faces he had never seen. He knew it was important to have his wedding be public, to allow the people to see that it was good for a man and woman to get married in the eyes of the Maker, no matter if they were a mage or not.

He felt a strong hand rest on his shoulder, and he looked back at Tristen, who pointed down the aisle. A huge grin spread across his face as his son and daughter made their way down the aisle riding on the backs of Chaos and Sabrina's new mabari, Mayhem. The twins each wore matching baby blue outfits. They saw their dad and their faces lit up. Jai waved at him and Anders waved back at his daughter.

Then Sabrina started down the aisle in a royal blue satin dress and Anders couldn't help but smile at the woman who had stuck by him no matter what the cost, who was his closest and dearest friend, who had made this day possible. He loved her; she was family… his family. When she reached the end of the aisle, she winked at him and took her place on the opposite side of the stairs.

The music stopped and everyone that was seated rose. The bridal march began, and Mari stepped into view, her arm looped through Alistair's. Much debate had been made about who should give Mari away. She had no close relatives living in Ferelden and Mari had insisted that she would be fine walking down the aisle by herself. Alistair had stepped forward and said that he would be honored to give her away. It was because of him that their wedding was now such a public spectacle, and it showed his continuing support of the mages and the Three.

His heart was pounding as he focused on the beautiful vision moving towards him. Her wedding gown was stunning with a form-fitting strapless bodice embroidered with tiny pearls and crystals that shimmered in the candlelight. The bottom of the bodice had a drop waist; a full satin skirt billowed out and flowed elegantly around her. His eyes found hers and he smiled tenderly at her. His breath hitched in his chest as he realized that in a few short moments he was going to marry the most stunningly beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He felt Tristen lean over. "For Maker's sake, breathe, man, before you pass out."

Anders hadn't even realized that he had been holding his breath, and he inhaled deeply.

As Mari approached the bottom of the dais, Alistair took her hand and placed it in Anders'. He lovingly led her up the stairs towards the Revered Mother as she recited a canticle from the Chant of Light. They stopped in front of her as she addressed the crowd.

"Today is a momentous day for all those present here to witness the union of this loving couple. It is the first time that a mage is allowed to marry under the new decree of the Divine. Today, we not only will observe the joining of this couple, but we will be eyewitnesses to history being made. I ask that they now pledge their vows to one other, to sanctify their love and commitment to each other," said the Revered Mother.

He was mesmerized by the way she looked at him with such love and affection. He would do anything for her.

Sabrina helped both Jax and Jai as they presented the rings to each of their parents, earning themselves a kiss on the cheek from both Anders and Mari. They gracefully stepped back into their places as Anders and Mari turned to face each other, still not letting go of each other's hands.

Mari took a deep breath and smiled at Anders before she began. "Always know that whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face it together, even if distance may test us or if time may try to part us. I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away. Then I met you and you washed away all of my fears. In you, I found my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, and today I proudly take my place as your wife. From this day forward, until the Maker takes me, I will love you, support you, and stand by you in all that this life has to offer us." Tears of joy rolled down her cheeks as she made her vows, and she brushed them away quickly before smiling at him.

Anders gazed lovingly into her eyes and smiled as he said, "Before I met you, I was a complete mess, always making the wrong choices and always taking the wrong path. You have showed me the true meaning of life and love. When you had every reason to turn away from me, you stood by me. All the things that I have been able to accomplish are because I had your love guiding me. You're the mother of my children and my saving grace. I would be nothing without you, Mari. All that I am and all that I will ever be, I offer to you. From this day, until the Maker takes me, I will love and comfort you, hold you close, cherish you above all others, and remain faithful to you all the days of my life. I love you."

They placed the rings on each other's fingers as the Revered Mother spoke. "My lords and ladies, in the name of the Maker and his bride Andraste, I now pronounce Grand Enchanter Anders and Mariella Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, as husband and wife." She faced Anders. "You may now kiss your bride."

Anders released another breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thank the Maker for that." Then he kissed Mari so passionately that the entire congregation started to whistle and cheer.

They turned and slowly made their way down the aisle as congratulations were passed out by all of their beloved friends and family. It was indeed one of the best days in Anders' life. He finally married the woman of his dreams, had two beautiful children, and a life that could only get better from this point on.

Anders and Mari made their way out the front doors of the chantry. At the bottom of the stairs, at least two dozen Wardens stood facing each other in two rows, far enough apart to create a long path. Nate stood at the head of the row facing the couple. He held his sword directly in front of his face with the end pointed upward. "To honor the Warden who has brought about fundamental changes throughout all of Thedas and his beautiful bride, the Grey Wardens salute you."

Nate then spun to face the Warden on the opposite side of him. He then called out, "Fereldan Wardens, present arms."

In one swift movement, the Wardens raised their swords high into the air, creating an arch. At the end of the pathway stood Kaylessa and Neria, who sent up an array of colorful electric charges into the dusky sky. The crowd that had gathered cheered with delight. Anders smiled at Mari as he scooped her into his arms and carried her through the arch. Then he set her down, pulled her back into his arms, and, to the amusement of the crowd, passionately kissed her.

Anders and Mari made their way through the streets of Denerim toward the Warden Compound, greeting the people, receiving gifts and well wishes from the throng of onlookers. Anders looked up on the rooftops and spotted Bonkzy with several Phoenix archers scouting for trouble. Zev led a group of Phoenix guards that were constantly surrounding the wedding party. There had been numerous death threats against the Three ever since its formation. Bonkzy and Zev had taken each threat seriously and always fully investigated them. On a day like today, where Anders would be fully exposed in a large crowd for an extended period of time, the elite group of ex-assassins were on high alert and no precaution or expense was spared.

After a long procession through the city streets, the couple finally made it to the gates of the Warden Compound, where they turned toward the crowd and gave one final wave before heading inside to finally relax and enjoy the rest of the evening with their family and friends.

Sabrina had insisted that as part of their wedding present, she and Tristen would handle all of the reception details. Anders heard Mari gasp at the enchanting scene that Bree had created in the courtyard. All of the training structures and fences had been removed. In their places were round tables with deep, rich, gold brocade linens, and each table had high candelabras that had tall ivory candles and had royal blue hydrangeas, delphinium, sweet peas accented with ivory roses that cascaded down the stand to its base. Also on each table were dozens of votive candles. The chairs had been painted gold and tied with gold ribbons. On the back of each chair was a tiny bouquet of hydrangeas. Multiple strings of candlelights sparkled above the reception area, adding a magically ambiance to the setting.

Mari spun to face Sabrina, who was beaming at her. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? It's fantastic," Mari whispered in stunned fascination.

Anders just shook his head, but couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his face. "You damn Coulslands, do you even know the meaning of low key?"

"What are you talking about?" Tristen asked. "This is low key for those damn Couslands."

"That's true my friend," Zev said as he glided up to them. "If you will recall, at Fergus and Anna's wedding, the Teyrn imported a lion and a tiger because Anna thought they were exotically beautiful."

Sabrina chuckled. "Never do that again. You couldn't carry on a dinner conversation with all of that roaring. Fergus and his grandiose ideas. Will the man ever learn?"

Tristen leaned in and kissed his wife's temple. "I doubt that. You haven't yet"

Sabrina smacked at him playfully. "I do believe that I have learned enough to keep you satisfied."

Tristen grinned at her, but before he could reply Zev chortled and asked, "What is it about weddings that always makes people horny?"

"Well, you can't have a wedding without sex. It's expected," Tristen said.

"Oh, so there's going to be a sex show? Excellent!" Anders said as Mari smacked him.

Zev chuckled. "Even if there was, I highly doubt that your wife will allow us to watch."

"Oh, I don't know about that. If the guy is hot enough, I might," Mari said as she winked at Sabrina.

Anders pulled her into his arms and passionately kissed her. "That's why I married you, honey. Your mind is as dirty as mine."

The entire grouped laughed as they made their way into the reception area. Oghren stumbled up to them and thrust two wine goblets into their hands. "N-now we can't have a sober bride and groom. It goes against the laws of nature."

"We don't want to be breaking those laws then, do we? That would just be rude," Anders said.

"Damn straight, Sparklefingers," Oghren replied.

"Well, before the bride and groom can take their first sip of wine, I do believe a toast needs to be made in their honor," Tristen said.

"Here, here," Zev replied. "Then we can get down to some serious drinking."

Tristen made his way up to the stage, and then used his fork to clink his glass to get everyone's attention. Once the crowd had quieted down, he began. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to start by saying that my wife, Sabrina, has proofread this speech, so if you consider any of the materials inappropriate, it's her fault, so you can take it up with her—"

"Good luck with that! If you like your head attached to your body, I wouldn't recommend that course of action," Nate yelled out as all of guests laughed.

Tristen grinned. "Well, yes, I guess I should have added that disclaimer." He then turned to Mari and Anders. "First, I want to honor Mari, whose laughter and enthusiasm for life has served as a constant reminder of what is good and happy about this world. May you never forget the happiness you feel today and know that you have given that same happiness to all of us who have been lucky enough to have been touched by your presence. To Mari."

Everyone lifted their glasses and chanted, "To Mari."

"Now, I raise my glass to my friend, Anders. I have been honored by being his best man today, but the problem with being the best man at a wedding is you never get a chance to prove how true that statement really is." He paused while the crowd chuckled. "Seriously, I had the honor to stand beside him on this most important day, as he has so often stood by me in good times and bad. I wish him and his lovely bride, Mari, nothing but happiness, prosperity, and good health for as long as they shall live. To Anders!"

Again everyone lifted their glasses and chanted, "To Anders!"

"Now, to Mari and Anders, it is easy to look around the world and see nothing but disappointment, sadness, and tragedy. These are not easy times that we live in, but when I see the two of you together, I realize that it is simply pure love that makes both life and this world beautiful. So I raise my glass to the bride and groom: may your days be filled with laughter and may your nights be filled with romance; may every day you spend together be even better than the last, and may your love continue to change the world. To Mari and Anders!"

Everyone thrust their glasses high into the air and exclaimed, "To Mari and Anders!"

The band immediately began to play. Anders set down his glass and Mari's, pulled her into his arms and for the first time ever danced with his beautiful wife. Anders and Mari spent the next several hours dancing with each other and their guests. He had heard couples complain that they were so busy they didn't really enjoy their reception. The same could not be said for Anders, since he had enjoyed every minute of it, but when Mari leaned over and whispered that if they didn't leave soon, she would be too exhausted to perform her wifely duties, he immediately made his way up to the dais. The band stopped playing and all eyes were on him.

"I wish to toast our guests. Your support and love through the years has been one of the most important factors that smoothed the road for this special day. Mari and I thank you for everything and wish that you may all have the joy and happiness we have been blessed with today. Please stay and enjoy yourselves, but I do believe it's time for me and my bride to take our leave."

A loud cheer went up as Anders scooped Mari into his arms, and then headed out the main gate to the carriage that was waiting to take them to Tristen and Sabrina's Denerim estate for their wedding night. When they arrived, they saw that Sabrina had been busy even here with her preparations. Anders scooped Mari up once again and followed a candle and rose petal pathway that led from the courtyard into the estate, up the stairs, and to the master bedroom.

He sat her on the bed and passionately kissed his stunningly gorgeous new bride. His tongue slid along her lip to gently part her mouth as his tongue slipped inside, to dance and twirl with hers. His hand slid up her side to try to undo the laces on her dress, but she stopped him, and kissed his lips. "Wait here," she said as she slipped off the bed and seductively twisted her hips as she walked toward the privy chamber.

She had only been gone a few minutes, but he was surprised how strong his lust and need for her had become, and he was about to go in after her when she opened the door and stepped out. The air was immediately sucked from lungs. She stood before him in an ivory see-through lace corset with the tiniest pair of lace panties he had ever seen, and she wore thigh-high stockings and ivory heels. Her dark, raven curls cascaded around her shoulders, and her deep blue eyes sparkled mischievously in the candlelight. Maker, she was stunning, and he immediately felt all the blood in his body rush to his groin. He got up and went to her, his eyes never leaving hers.

She smiled seductively at him. "Do you like what you see?"

His breathing was ragged as his eyes took her in completely. Through the thin, lacy material, he could see the dark outline of her nipples, hard and taut, begging for him take them in his mouth. The corset clung to every one of her luscious curves, her dark curls could be seen through delicate fabric of the panties, and her long legs were even more accentuated by the thigh-high stockings and high heels. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her to him as the other arm glided down to her thigh and to the top of the stocking, where he ran his finger around the edge of the hosiery. "You have no idea what you're doing to me," he groaned against her neck.

"I believe I do," Mari said as she pushed her hips against already throbbing erection.

He dipped his head to slowly kiss her, and his tongue slid between her parted lips as he savored the taste of her mouth. She moaned against his lips as she pushed her hips against him again. Her tongue thrust hungrily inside his mouth, retreated, and thrust again—over and over. The wild rhythm unleashed a burning flood of desire in him. He pressed against her, wanting, needing to be closer to her.

His lips left her and, as she let out a little cry of protest, he smiled. He kissed a path to her neck. When he found her pulse point, he nipped at her with his teeth, evoking a moan of desire from her. Maker, he loved this woman more than life itself and nothing pleased him more than giving her pleasure. He cupped her breast as his thumb circled the hard nipple through the thin fabric, and he gently pinched the taut nub and heard her gasp. He claimed her mouth again, his tongue caressing as his hand slid inside the corset. Mari moaned with pleasure as he teased her nipple, causing her to arch against him.

Anders grasped her hand and led her back towards the bed. He sat on the edge and pulled her between his legs. His hands slid up the corset and quickly undid the laces, making the garment fall to the floor.

"Perfect," Anders murmured. He heard her inhale sharply as he cupped her breasts and once again ran his thumbs over the stiff nipples. He leaned into her, breathing in her scent before he pulled the rosy nub into his mouth.

Mari moaned his name as he teased and sucked her breast, his tongue swirling around the arched peak. She ran her fingers through his hair. "Anders…" She breathed his name again as she unlaced his shirt, and slipped it off his shoulders. Her hands moved down his bare arms, sending a pang of desire coursing through him as he released her breast and kissed his way over to the other one.

Mari quivered against his lips as he pulled the other nipple into his mouth. "Anders," she said as she held him tighter, her legs slightly weakened.

Anders felt her lean against him so that he could support her weight. He pulled back from her breast, smiled lovingly up at her as his fingers, and pulled the lacy panties down.

"Oh, Maker…" Anders groaned at the feel of her panties, damp with her arousal.

He slid his arms around her waist and drew her to him. He rested his head against her flat stomach. His hands slid over her tantalizing bottom, and then back around to her hips. "Mar, I love the feel of your skin… so silky… so soft," he whispered as he lovingly caressed her.

Still holding her hips, he turned her around and eased her down onto the bed. Then he rose and knelt over her, staring into her deep blue eyes that had darkened with yearning and want and he felt a wave of desire crash over him. Anders kissed her breasts then trailed a path down her stomach to her navel and the dark curls between her thighs. He shifted so that he could run his hand along her inner thigh, his fingers brushing against her soft folds.

Mari moaned with anticipation, and he lifted her legs and hooked them over his shoulders as he edged closer, his eyes savoring the sight of her dewy center as he breathed in the scent of her arousal. Anders wrapped his arms around her thighs, and his fingers combed through the damp curls before he gently opened her to his hungry eyes.

"Maker, so beautiful… just… mmm…" he murmured as his lips covered shimmering pink skin. Anders' tongue swept over her hot center, darting in and out of her before he moved up to her swollen nub, and then repeated the same movement all over again.

She moaned. "Oh… fuck… Anders…"

Anders smiled as Mari dug her heels into his back to pull him closer as his tongue continued to lick, twirl, and suck at her, coaxing her closer and closer to the edge. He brought his fingers up and slid them into her hot center, and then pulled them out again.

"Ande… Maker… mmm," Mari cried out, her fists clenching the blankets. He thrust his long fingers in and out while he sucked and licked her pearl, his tongue teasing and twirling around the hard nub.

"Won… derful…" Anders moaned as he lightly grazed the tender flesh with his teeth. "My sweet Mari… you… taste… wonderful," he whispered against her flesh, and the vibration caused her to arch her back and press against his talented mouth.

"Anders… close… oh Maker… so close…" Mari sobbed as the sweet agony of her impending orgasm grew stronger with every sweep of his tongue and every thrust of his fingers. "And… please…"

Anders increased the pressure against her taut nub as he drove his fingers into her with increased speed. "Come... come for me, Mari," he said, speaking around the quivering flesh against his mouth. "Come for me…"

"Oh… Anders, yessss." She screamed as pure ecstasy washed over her. Her thighs closed around him as she arched into him, her hips thrust against his mouth and hand as the intensity of the orgasm coursed through her. "Anders." She panted his name over and over again. He loved the sound of his name falling from her lips in pure ecstasy.

His mouth never left her core. Anders groaned as the evidence of her climax flowed into his mouth, his lips and tongue replacing his fingers at her opening as it darted in and out of her throbbing center while his fingers circled her swollen nub.

"Oooo… mmmm, yes baby." Mari cried out suddenly, and her hands moved to clench his hair as another strong orgasm burst through her. Anders continued to lovingly stroke her, slowly easing up until she lay there completely sated, only the occasional tremor passing through her.

Anders gently removed her legs from his shoulders, got to his feet, and quickly removed his trousers. Mari scooted back on the bed and Anders climbed beside her. Then her hands captured his face to pull his mouth to hers and kissed him ravenously. She fell back against the bed, bringing him with her. Anders settled his body against hers, hips fitting perfectly within her thighs, his raging erection pressed firmly against her hot, wet center. He moaned into her mouth as the fervent kiss grew even deeper, and he began to rock against her.

Anders broke from the kiss, and gazed lovingly at the woman that was now his wife. "I love you, Mari… I love you more than you could ever know."

"I love you too," she whispered in his ear as she nipped at him and swirled her hips against him. Mari slid her hand down between them, grasped his length, and guided him to her. Then she shifted beneath him, opened her legs wider, and he sank inside her. "Mmm, yes, baby, back where you belong," she said.

"Oh, my love…" he moaned as they began to move slowly together, finding a perfect rhythm, slowly letting the fire build and expand throughout their bodies.

Anders dipped down to capture a hard nipple in his mouth. He gently pulled and tugged and she moaned out his name as she wrapped her legs around him, bringing him deeper into her. She ran her nails along his back to arse and gripped him hard, encouraging him to pick up the pace. He leaned up on his arms and began driving himself quickly in and out of her.

"Anders, yesss…" She moaned as the sensation built up, growing more intense with every thrust. He shifted, slipped his hand between them, and stroked her nub. She cried out his name again.

"Mari…" He moaned as she rocked with him, and he could feel that she was close to her climax. He moved harder and faster against her, and felt her body stiffen and writhe beneath him as the wave of pleasure broke hard.

Anders continued to thrust into her to prolong her pleasure and he groaned as her nails bit into the skin of his shoulder. He yelled out her name as he collapsed onto her, his hands slid under her as he clutched her shoulders. His hips slammed into her, over and over again, as his orgasm overtook him and he poured himself deep into her. She rhythmically clenched and unclenched her inner muscles around his still-moving member, milking him completely.

"Sweet Andraste's arse," Anders said against her neck. "That was incredible." He slowly lifted his head to smile down at her. "You are incredible, Mar."

She grinned at him. "You're not half bad yourself."

He went to roll off of her, but she held him to her. "No… please stay. I like the way you feel inside me."

"Huh, imagine that, 'cause I like the feel of being inside you." Anders smiled down at her, his eyes alive with love and affection. He lowered his mouth to hers in a deep, loving kiss. "Lower your legs," he murmured against her lips. "Trust me," he said at her questioning look.

Mari did as he asked. With her legs on the mattress, Anders gripped her hips and rolled onto his back ,careful to keep them connected. Then he pulled her on top of him, and with his free arm, he grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and pulled it over them.

"Better, Love?"

"Mmmm, much," Mari said as she nuzzled deep into his embrace. She planted several soft kisses against his chest. "This is heaven," she murmured sleepily as she yawned.

Anders tenderly stroked her hair. "Sleep, Love, we have the rest of our lives to do exactly what we did here tonight."

"Promise," she said.

"Cross my heart."

"Love you, Anders…" Mari murmured against his chest.

"And I love you," Anders said as he kissed her forehead and breathed in the scent of her one last time before sleep claimed them.

* * *

A/N- First I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I always try to respond to review posts, but with the holiday weekend I got a little behind. If I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.

*I want to thank, Jinxy and Mackillian, for their beta awesomeness. I appreciate your help and insight and I enjoy working with you.

*I have started a new story called Disarry. Here is the summary -Maker, she had Amell's eyes. When the rogue fixed her gaze on him and smiled an impish grin at him, his fragile world that he had built around him crumbled in complete disarray. Anders struggles to overcome his past while the future collides into him. Ht tp: / /w ww. Fan fiction. net/s/ 7041 795/ 1/ Disarray (remove the spaces)

*Also, I am co-authoring a story with the mixy Jinx1983. It's called Keep Holding On. Summary - Anders told Lady Hawke that he laid awake for 3 years thinking about her. Those would be some very interesting thoughts and fantasies...a series of one shots would do those years some justice. Ht tp:/ /ww /s/ 703 9437/1/ Keep_ Holding_ On (remove the spaces)


	18. Chapter 18 Don't Give Up

**Chapter 18**

"In this proud land we grew up strong, we were wanted all along

I was taught to fight, taught to win, I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems, I am a man whose dreams have all deserted

I've changed my face, I've changed my name, but no one wants you when you lose

Don't give up 'cos you have friends, don't give up, you're not beaten yet

Don't give up, I know you can make it good."

_Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel and Katie Bush_

It had been five days since the wedding and preparations were being made for the trip to Amaranthine where the Three would set up the next school of magic. Because of the continuous death threats against them, they never traveled together. The group that was gathered around the large table in the Palace were all a part of the plans to move the high profile figures. Zev and Bonkzy were in charge of the safe transportation of the delegations.

"So that we are clear," said Zevran, "the first group that will leave will be Bonkzy's since they have the furthest distance to travel. She will escort Leliana. They'll take the West Road south, and then follow the path up past Lake Calenhad then on to Vigil's Keep. At Lake Calenhad, you'll spend the night at Arl Eamon's. It should take you four days to reach his estate. If you don't arrive by the end of the fifth day, Eamon will notify both the Palace and Vigil's Keep; he will also send out his own guards to look for you. You need to plan on leaving first thing in the morning. I would make sure that you pack some pillows for your bottoms unless you have a fondness for saddle sores." He chortled after he finished his explanation.

"Oh, saddle sores, my favorite! I wouldn't mind them so much if I had someone to kiss them and make them feel better," Bonkzy said.

"Hey, was that a slight on my ass kissing ability?" Zev asked.

"If you kiss my ass a little, I might be inclined to tell you," Bonkzy replied.

"Ah, could we move on from the assassins' ability to kiss ass and finish the discussion on how we are going to keep my family safe?" Anders asked.

"If you insist," said Zev. "Two days later, Sabrina and I will escort Anders and his family. We will also start out on the West Road, but we will then take the new King's Highway through the Bannorn to the North Road, and then onto Amaranthine. Since our tax dollars are paying for this road, it is well-guarded and will be safest route for the kids. We will make a stop at Teagan's estate. As with Eamon, if we don't arrive by the fourth day, Teagan will notify the Palace and Vigil's Keep and will send out his guards in search of us."

"Thank you, Alistair, for that new thoroughfare. That was a brilliant idea, whoever thought that one up," Tristen said.

"I do believe that we are well aware that you are the genius behind that initiative, Brother," Alistair said.

Tristen grinned. "I just never get tired of hearing that."

"Two days after our departure, Cullen's group will leave. He will be escorted by my latest acquisition from the Crows—a highly skilled rogue and a close personal friend of mine; Jinxy could you please stand," Zev said. A beautiful brunette stood up and Zev introduced her to those around the table.

After she took her seat, Sabrina turned and looked at Zev. "Jinxy? Bonkzy? Do you know anyone with normal names?"

Zev's eyes furrowed as he gestured toward pair. "They are ex-assassins. Those are their operative names. For their safety and their families' safety, we keep their real identities concealed."

"Well, we're going to be working very closely together. When do we get to learn their real names?" Sabrina asked.

"If we sleep together, I might tell you," the striking red head said as she winked at Sabrina.

"But, even then, only maybe," Jinxy said.

"Well, okay then, Jinxy and Bonkzy it is," Sabrina said.

"Cullen's group will be spending the night at Soldier's Peak, and then they will arrive at Vigil's Keep the following day. We should all arrive in Amaranthine within a day of each other," Zev said.

Sabrina stood to address the group. "Even though the darkspawn activity has declined since our last excursion into the Deep Roads, I still feel that it would be wise to have Wardens and a mage travel with each group. Since Leliana has to travel the furthest and their path takes them through Lothering, Nate, Tess, Oghren, and Neria will go with them. Gabriel and Kaylessa will accompany Cullen, and then Tristen and I will be with Anders."

Sabrina sat down and Alistair stood. "That is very well thought out strategy. Zev, Sabrina, and Bonkzy, thank you for all of your due diligence in preparing for this trip. Maker's speed be with you, my friends, and keep you safe."

**xxXxx**  
**Leliana's Group****  
****Day Four, an hour away from Redcliffe Castle**

The sun was beating down on the small group and sweat was pouring off of Bonkzy as they made their towards the Village of Redcliffe. She noticed that six of her guards were wearing their helms—come to think of it, they had been wearing them all day. How had they not passed out from heat exhaustion? She heard Leliana laugh at something that Oghren had said and heard her comment on how much she had missed traveling with the dwarf. Really? There was no way that could be true. She was just being nice to the obnoxious drunk.

Bonkzy normally would enjoy the silly repartee that was taking place between the traveling companions but, between the blazing heat and idle chitchat, she found herself very distracted and was having trouble concentrating on the environment around her.

"Oh, Leli, I would love to go shopping with you next time we go to Val Royeaux. I have been wanting to go shopping with someone who knows all the best kept secrets," Tess said.

"There is a fabulous shoemaker in an alleyway just off the main market square. He is wonderful. I swear he uses magic when crafting his shoes, because I have never had a pair that was uncomfortable no matter how long I wore them for," Leliana replied.

Nate grumbled. "Well, that going to cost me a bloody fortune."

"Magical shoes?" Oghren asked. "But the only power they have is not being uncomfortable? Seems like a real waste of money. Would have been better if you could click the heels together and a magic fairy gives you a mug of ale."

"A mug of ale and a beautiful woman to rub any sore spots you may have," Nate said with a roguish grin.

Tess smacked him. "Your beautiful woman is right here!"

Nathaniel winked at her. "You are a gift from the Maker above, my dear. What would I have to do to get a rub from you?"

"I'll give you demonstration later," Tess said.

"Right now, I wish a magical fairy or a beautiful woman would massage my arse. I'm not picky! My pillow stopped working about two hours ago," Neira said.

Oghren, who had been leading the group, stopped abruptly and held up his hand. The party halted as they all listened. Bonkzy noticed the six guards with their helms still on inch toward the perimeter of the group, but before she could question their actions, Nate yelled, "Darkspawn!"

Everyone immediately flew off of their horses, smacked the beasts' behinds so that they would move out of the small clearing, and took their battle positions. Within a minute, at least eight hurlocks and genlocks charged out of the forest and directly towards them. Standing on a small hill a short distance from the fray, an emissary began casting spells.

"Neria, concentrate on the emissary," Nate ordered.

Neria nodded and did as instructed as the rest of their group fought against the advancing monsters.

Bonkzy noticed the guards with their helms still on were fighting toward the edge of the skirmish; her heart nearly stopped when one of her guards raised his blade and plunged it into Nate's back. She looked around and the all of the helmed guards had positioned themselves near members of the entourage. Fuck, why hadn't she see seen it?

She gave a loud whistle and members of her guard except the helmed ones looked at her. "Impostors!" she yelled, and then motioned to the men wearing helms. Her elite guards immediately realized what she was saying and began attacking them.

Bonkzy spun around, looking for Leliana. The rogue was holding her own against hurlock and helmed Phoenix Guard, but they were backing her up against a tree. Bonkzy raced toward them. She rolled under Tess and a hurlock that were engaged in a fierce duel then leapt onto the back of an impostor and drew her blade across the man's throat. As he went down, she twirled and buried her sword into darkspawn's back at the same time that Leliana sank her dagger into its stomach.

Panting, she looked at the First Seeker. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, but it doesn't look like some of the others fared so well," Leliana said as she rushed over to Tess, who was cradling Nate's head in her lap as Neria cast healing spells at them. Oghren was cleaning up a slash that he had received across abdomen. Leliana walked over to help him dress the wound.

Bonkzy gathered her guards and told them to collect the corpses of the helmed guards. They nodded and began moving the bodies to the center of the clearing. Once gathered, Bonkzy removed their helms—none of these men were hers. Damn it, that meant that her men were probably dead in a ditch somewhere. They had been able to account for all of the six guards except for one. That meant that one had managed to escaped, that meant that one would be able to report that the plot failed. Andraste's sweet twat, this was nightmare!

Bonkzy looked around at the guards that had survived, and then called her two best men over. She looked at the tall, lanky scout; he was an excellent tracker. "Raffe, I know that it will be difficult to pick up a trail with all of this blood and these bodies, but I need you to do your best to track the guardsman that escaped. If you find him, take him alive, if possible. He may have valuable information, but that is not your primary goal; your main objective not to let him alert whoever sent him that their mission failed."

"Shouldn't we follow them to find out who hired them?" Raffe asked.

"If I had more men, that would be the plan, but I am under strict orders to get the First Seeker to Vigil's Keep alive and well. I am already down six men. I just hope that Arl Eamon will be generous and allow some of his guard to accompany us the rest of the way. I will wait for you at Redcliffe Castle for two days, but I can't wait longer than that."

"Yes, Commander, I understand," the scout said as he spun to gather his things and begin tracking the traitor.

**xxXxx****  
****Cullen's group****  
****Same day, just inside the gates of Soldier's Peak****  
**  
Jinxy stepped in front of the group and held up her hand, motioning for everyone to stop. Instinctively, they all withdrew their weapons. "Something isn't right," the young rogue said.

"It's too quiet. Levi and his family should be busy out in the courtyard," Gabriel said.

"Okay, then we proceed with caution. Gabriel, I don't want you to leave Cullen's side," Jinxy said. The ex-templar nodded, and then he moved directly in front of Cullen as the party eased their way into the Courtyard.

The attack came quickly; six mages stepped out from behind the barricades and shelters. Before either Cullen or Gabriel could react and use their templar skills, the mages cast paralyzing prisons on the entire group.

Then from behind the mages, Avernus stepped out of the shadows and grinned maliciously at the group. He walked up to Cullen and stared at him for a long moment before he spat in his face. "I'm going to enjoy draining the life from you, templar. How dare you try to manipulate the mages into believing that you have their best interest at heart? You and I both know that is a lie, and that these schools of magic are nothing but a façade."

"That isn't true. The Divine is truly trying to change the way mages and templars are viewed. She trying to save mages, not bring them harm," Cullen said.

"Lies!" Avernus shouted.

"Is that why you are doing this? Because you believe the Chantry is trying exert control over the mages again?" Kaylessa asked.

Avernus snorted. "That is my reason, but I am only a small piece of the puzzle in a very large and diverse picture."

"You're a Warden; you're supposed to remain neutral," Gabriel said.

"The way Commander Theirin has remained neutral? You would have thought she would have learned something after witnessing what had happened here, but that girl is an idealist and she believes the world can be changed. I, however, am a realist. The Chantry will never change, and the fear of mages will never be eradicated, and when the opportunity arose to prove that my theory was correct, I seized it," Avernus said.

"Avernus, we can't hold them much longer," one of the mages yelled.

"Ah, so sorry, but explanation time is over," Avernus said as he quickly slit the palms of his hands. The blood began to flow and he stretched his hands toward Cullen, the power of the blood magic lifted Knight-Vigilant off his feet as his blood and life force was drained out of him. Cullen cried out in agony as his body shock violently.

The moment that the mages lost control of the paralyzing prison, Gabriel yelled, "Get back, Kay!" as he unleashed a holy smite on the mages in front of him. The force of the spell threw all of the mages back except for Avernus, who was too strong for the spell to work on him. He stumbled slightly, but remained on his feet, growing stronger from Cullen's blood.

The distraction was all that Jinxy needed. Hidden in the shadows, she slid behind the blood mage and plunged her sword through his heart. Blood sprayed everywhere as Cullen collapsed to the ground. Kaylessa was immediately at Cullen's side, casting her most powerful resurrection spell.

Jinxy gathered her guards around her and ordered them to search the Keep for survivors. If there were any mages still alive, she wanted to see them immediately. Then she called Gabriel over to her. "Does this Keep have bird messengers?"

"Yes, Sabrina uses them to communicate with Vigil's Keep and the Palace," Gabriel said.

"We need to get messages to the Palace and Vigil's Keep—we are under attack."

"You don't think this was an act of a crazed mad man?"

"No, he explained his reasons for participating, but he said he was only a piece of the puzzle. Something much bigger is going on here. The King and the Wardens need to be warned."

**xxXxx****  
****Anders' group****  
****Same time of day, about an hour outside of Rainesfere**

Sabrina surveyed the valley below from a branch high up in an old oak tree that was situated on the hillside overlooking gorge. The valley looked calm and serene, but her sixth sense was tingling, and she didn't think that the valley was all that it appeared to be.

"See anything, my pet?" Zev asked from a branch below her.

"No, but I don't trust it. Something isn't right," Sabrina said.

"_Mia tesoro amica_, you have the best instincts I have ever seen. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then I am going to believe that something is askew."

"Here is what I think: see how the ravine is bordered by those two tree line ridges?" Sabrina pointed to the areas that she was talking about. Zev grinned and nodded, and Sabrina continued her explanation. "Well, that would be the perfect place to hide if you wanted to ambush anyone coming through the chasm. Now, what I'm thinking is that we split the guard and flank those ridges from behind. Then you, Tristen, and I act as bait to draw them out."

"Well, if they are after Anders, they are going to be looking for a mage."

Sabrina grinned. "Have you ever wanted to see Tristen in a dress—I mean, robes?"

Zev let out a boisterous laugh. "Oh, this is going to be good. I want to see what you have to promise him to make him agree to that."

An hour later, Tristen was wearing Anders' robes and the mage was wearing Tristen's armor.

"Maker's balls, this thing is hot and sticky. How in bloody Thedas do you move in this thing?" Anders asked.

"Very easily. How in the void aren't you dead by now? I feel like my dick is whistling in the wind," Tristen said.

"Dicks can whistle?" Mari asked.

Zev chortled. "Only the most talented ones."

"It's freeing, isn't it?" Anders asked with a chuckle.

Tristen grumbled. "No, it's not. I feel like I just woke up naked in a room full of people."

"Well, whatever Bree promised you to get you in that had to have been good." Mari said, and then laughed.

"_Si_, my curiosity is killing me. What did she promise you, my friend?" Zev asked.

A sly smirk crossed Tristen's face. "I'm not allowed to tell or the deal is off, but it will definitely be worth it, and then some."

"That's just not fair. He's wearing my robes. I should have the right to know," Anders whined.

Zev sauntered up to Anders and put his arm around the mage. "We are your best friends. We keep no secrets from each other and we are personally insulted that you wouldn't trust us with this information." Anders bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

"Oh all right, you can tell them, Tristen," Sabrina said.

A huge grin spread across his face. "I get to have my own personal and naked performance of the Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey."

"Shut the front door!" Zev said. "I'd walk around in a mage's dress for an entire year to see that."

"It's a robe, not a dress… and what is the Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey? I'm a Warden! How do I not know about this dance?" Anders asked.

Zev was grinning from ear to ear. "That was some shrewd negotiating, my friend."

"Thanks, I thought so myself," Tristen replied.

"Will someone tell me what in Andraste's colorful arse the Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey is?" Anders asked again.

Zev chuckled. "I will tell you all about it over a pint. It is so much more entertaining with a mug of ale in your hands. Oh, and I have to have Oghren there when I tell it. He has a few colorful commentaries he likes to make whenever that memorable night is brought up."

"Well, if we are done bringing up memories that are better left buried, I do believe we have an ambush to contend with," Sabrina said.

They all nodded as Zev gave the Phoenix Guard their instructions. They waited for them to get into place, and then Sabrina, Zev and, Tristen walked down and into the ravine.

They were about halfway through the path when they heard the sound of archers along the upper ridge. Then they heard a tree crash behind them as the leaders of the assassins stepped out a rock as he yelled, "Get the mage in the dress!"

Anger flashed across Tristen's face as he pulled up his robes and withdrew his sword. "It's a robe, not a dress, you idiot."

Tristen charged forward as Zev and Sabrina faded into the shadows only to reappear behind two of the assassins. They stabbed them in the back and then simultaneously jumped away from falling assassins toward their next targets. A warrior charged at her and she side stepped his charge, but his blade still managed to slice into her arm. She cried out, but seconds later she felt the warmth of healing magic course through her. She looked around for the source,and saw Anders' head peaking over the tree. She glared at him. He grinned back at her and just shrugged his shoulders.

She grunted. "Damn mage listens like shit."

She felt a strong arm grip her around the waist and swing her out of the way of a falling ax. "He wouldn't be Anders if he did," Tristen said as he blocked the swinging blade.

The warrior behind the blade that Tristen had just deflected rushed at him; Tristen braced for the charge and pulled his sword back. Sabrina disappeared, and then reappeared behind him in an instant. Both of them sank their blades into warrior at the same time.

Loud clanging sounded from above.

Sabrina grinned. "I do believe the reinforcements have arrived."

"About damn time," Tristen said.

She grinned at him and blew him a kiss. "Better late then never, Love." Then she disappeared into the shadows again. The fight only lasted a few more minutes before all of the assassins were either dead or unconscious. Anders leapt over and joined them. "Do you even understand the meaning of a direct order?" Sabrina asked him.

"Hmmm, no. Is that defined in the Grey Warden handbook? Because if it is, I never received my copy," Anders replied.

Sabrina rolled her eyes.

"Brin, I do believe that the leader is starting to come around," Tristen called out.

Sabrina and Anders walked over to where Tristen and Zev were already gathered by the assassin that was still laying on the ground. The leader moaned loudly before he finally opened his eyes. "Ah, I see I'm still alive. That can only mean that you are looking for information. I can stop you right now, I know nothing," the assassin said as his eyes shifted to the ground.

Sabrina smiled at him. "Let me be the judge of that. Zev, is he a member of the Crows?"

Zev chuckled. "After that sorry display is there any doubt that he isn't a Crow?"

Sabrina raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, well, you, my dear, are the exception to the rule," Zev said in correction.

"Who hired you?" Sabrina asked the assassin on the ground.

"I told you, I don't know anything. I was told to kill a mage traveling with a couple of Grey Wardens," the leader said as he scratched his nose.

"I really hate liars. They piss me off because they waste my time," Sabrina said coolly.

The assassin bit his bottom lip. "I'm not lying."

Sabrina knelt down so that she was eye level with the man and smiled at him. "See, your lips tell me no, but your body tells me yes."

"I love it when she does this," Anders whispered to Zev.

Zev nodded. "Best show in the world."

"What's your name?" Sabrina asked sweetly.

The assassin swallowed hard before answering. He squinted as he looked at her. "Ah, A-Armand."

Sabrina smiled and touched the assassins shoulder. "Armand, did you know that when you lie that there are seventeen pantomimes of a liar… twenty, if you're a female." She grinned at him sweetly and reassuringly before she continued, "I guess that is because women have a few more assets to work with, but for you? Sorry, guys, you only have seventeen to let me know if you are lying to me and, in the past few minutes that I have been talking with you, you have performed five of the seventeen tells. So, you see, Armand, I know you're lying to me. The question is how much pain do you need to endure before you finally tell me the truth?"

"Look, I don't know anything. Like I said—"

"Armand, Armand, Armand." Sabrina ran her hand down the assassin's chest. "Your body is talking to me and it is telling me you're lying to me. It's not just your eyes, it's everything. If you cough, sneeze, cross your legs, scratch your ass—they're all tell-tale signs. And you see, Armand, you are wasting my time, and that makes me very angry." Sabrina grasped the sides of his armor and pulled so that he was only inches from her face. "Anders, can you concentrate flames just on his private area?" Sabrina asked calmly.

"What?" Armand cried out.

Anders chuckled. "Sure, I can do that." Then he stretched out his hand in the direction of Armand's crotch.

"Wait, I'll tell you what you want to know!" Armand said.

"Talk quickly, Armand, because I'm rapidly losing my patience with you," Sabrina said.

"Ooo, you won't like it when she loses her patience. She gets all slicey and dicey and much less cool and calm," Anders said.

"Look, all I know is that it was plot to take out everyone involved in implementing the new decree from the Divine," Armand said.

"So are you saying that an ambush was planned for all of the Three?" Sabrina asked.

"Yes, maybe not an ambush, but the plan was for the Three to never make it to Amaranthine."

"You said that everyone involved with implementing the decree was to be assassinated. Who beyond the Three was a target?" Tristen asked and Sabrina could see the panic in his eyes.

Armand sniffled as he fidgeted with his hands. "I only know of the Three."

"You're lying!" Sabrina said.

"I'm not!"

Sabrina gave the mage closest to her a pointed look. "Anders!"

Anders' hand shot forward, and Armand screamed as he grabbed his crotch.

"Enough," Sabrina said, and Anders pulled his hand back. Then Sabrina glared at the assassin. "Tell me."

Armand panted. "T-they will kill me."

"I'll kill you. Have no doubt about that. Your life is in my hands. Tell me!"

Armand remained silent.

"Anders!" Sabrina said again and, once again, Anders' hand shot forward. Armand cried out as he writhed in pain on the ground and this time Sabrina let the flames lick at him longer. Finally, she halted Anders' assault. She knelt down beside Armand and gently touched his shoulder. "I can make the pain stop. Anders can heal you, but first you must tell me who else they are targeting."

The assassin panted as he tried to regain his breath. "The King, they are going to assassinate the King."

"Anders, heal him. Zev, secure him for transport to Teagan's estate," Sabrina said. Both men nodded.

Sabrina looked at Tristen, who was already stripping out of Anders' robes. He looked at the mage and said, "Get the hell out of my armor." Anders immediately began to remove the armor.

Sabrina spun toward Zev. "Take Armand to Teagan's and place him in his dungeons. Tell Teagan to send a message to the Palace immediately to warn Alistair."

"Why are you telling me this?" Zevran asked. I'm coming with you."

"Zev, I need you to get Anders safely to Rainesfere," Sabrina said.

Zev poked at Armand. "Was your group the only one sent to take out the mage?"

Armand moaned. "Yes."

"Anders can lead the group to Teagan's safely. I am going with you," Zev said to Sabrina.

"Zev—"

"Don't, 'Zev' me, Bree. Bonkzy and Jinxy could be dead, or they could have already taken out Alistair. It will be chaos in Denerim if that is the case and you will be the target of the populace's outrage. I am coming with you."

"I agree with Zev," Tristen said.

"Fine, saddle up," Sabrina said.

She spun towards Anders, but before she could say anything, he said, "I got you covered, Bree. Go save Alistair."

Sabrina nodded. The three of them leapt onto their horses and raced toward Denerim, praying they weren't too late.

* * *

**A/N - ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. Please continue to share your thoughts with me. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments.**

*******Hugs and kisses to the betalicious dynamic duo, ****Jinxy**** and ****Mackillian****.**** Thank for continuing to make me look good. I appreciate all that you do for me.**


	19. Chapter 19 Everyday

**Chapter 19**

"You could've bowed out gracefully, but you didn't

You knew enough to know, to leave well enough alone, but you wouldn't

I drive myself crazy, tryin' to stay out of my own way

The messes that I make, but my secrets are so safe

The only one who gets me, yeah, you get me it's amazing to me

How every day, every day, every day, you save my life"

_Everyday by Rascal Flatts_

Sabrina, Tristen and Zev rode relentlessly toward Denerim, only taking short breaks to rest and feed the horses. A day and a half later, as they approached the city gates, both the beasts and riders were exhausted.

Once inside the city gate, Tristen approached the guard, "I need to speak with your commanding officer immediately."

"Yes my Lord," the guard said as he hurried off to find the officer in charge. A few minutes later a tall man with broad shoulders and a thick neck approached them.

As the man recognized Tristen, he bowed deeply, "My Lord, I am Captain Tocman. I heard you wished to speak with the officer in charge."

"Yes, I am Tristen Theirin, I am here with evidence that there are assassins in the city who are planning to kill the King. I need you to close all of the city gates immediately so that they cannot escape."

"I'm sorry my Lord, but I cannot close the city gate without a direct order from the King," Captain Tocman replied.

"Captain, did you not understand what I just said? There are assassins within the City walls, here to assassinate your King. All escape routes must be eliminated, now close the damn gates," Tristen ordered.

"I understood, your Highness, but I still need a direct order from the King," the man said firmly.

Sabrina saw the tremor of anger flash through her husband and she gently touched his shoulder to try and calm him. Tristen nodded his acknowledgment, then he stepped up directly in the Captain's face. "The King might already be dead, I am third in line to the throne and I am giving you a direct order. Close the fucking gates or I will have your head on a pike."

The man's eyes widened, "If you will take responsibility for this, I will follow your orders."

"I am fully responsible for this order and will answer directly to the King for this decision," Tristen reassured the Captain.

"Yes, my Lord, it will be done immediately," Captain Tocman replied.

Once they were out of earshot, Sabrina looked at him, "Head on a pike?" She chuckled.

Tristen grinned at her. "Overkill?"

"Just a little," she replied as she held her thumb and forefinger together.

"I do believe you enjoy exerting your power, my friend," Zev surmised.

"Only when I'm dealing with idiots who are more concerned with protocol then saving lives," Tristen countered.

"Before we head to the Palace, we need to get Kaylessa and Gabe from the compound. We might need them," Sabrina stated.

"I agree," Tristen said.

They quickly gathered the two Wardens, filled them in on the situation and headed toward the Palace. When they were almost there, Sabrina and Zev slipped into the shadows, but remained close behind the group.

When the royal guard saw Tristen approach, they bowed, "Your Highness, welcome back to Denerim. I'm sure the King will be pleased to see you. Let me send a messenger to announce your arrival."

"Thank you, I would appreciate that," Tristen replied.

Within minutes, they were shown into the throne room. Sabrina and Zev observed the room from deep within the shadows and on the surface everything looked normal. They eased their way around the walls of the room as Tristen, Gabe and Kaylessa approached the King and Queen.

"Tristen," Alistair beamed. "What a pleasant surprise? I thought you were heading back to Vigil's Keep."

"I received a note from Fiona that you needed my help with something, but had concerns about asking me," Tristen replied.

Sabrina continued to listen to the conversation as she surveyed the room. Her eyes narrowed on the drapes that hung behind the thrones on the dais. She could have sworn she saw it move. She leaned into Zev and whispered, "Did you see the curtain move?"

"Yes, and did you notice the archers hidden on the balcony," Zev said.

Sabrina stifled a gasp as she looked at the balcony and saw two archers, hidden behind the pillars with their arrows trained on Alistair and Anora. "Shit," she hissed. There was no way Zev could take out both of those archers before one of them got a shot off. She thought about this for a moment as she quickly calculated the odds and the best outcome. "Okay, I will go for whoever is behind the curtain. Before I head back there I will let Tristen know to drop a hint to Alistair to be alert and ready for an attack…"

"I hope your boy picks up on the reference," Zev whispered.

"The one I'm thinking of, he will definitely get. Now, you head up to the balcony; give me a few minutes to take out whoever is behind there. Don't make your move unless you see a struggle behind the curtain. Take out the archer with his arrow trained on Alistair…"

Zev raised an eyebrow and grinned at Sabrina.

"What? He is the King. He needs to be protected first. I am counting on him to protect Anora. He will know that my first priority will be him and he needs save her."

"And you don't take any personal satisfaction in holding the Queen's life in your hands, my pet?"

"Oh, shut up. Now, when you are about to take out the first archer let out a war cry, that will be Alistair's signal to react. Understood?"

Zev reached out into the shadow and touched her face. "Yes, I understand. You be careful my friend. You have no idea what is behind that curtain."

She reached out, found his hand and squeezed, "Born to fight."

Even though she couldn't see his face she knew he had a grin on it as he repeated the next line of their motto, "Trained to kill."

"Ready to die."

"Never will," Zev said as he gave one last squeeze and then released her hand.

She silently moved behind Tristen and softly informed him of the situation and plan. He gave a slight nod of understanding and then she moved up the room toward the curtain.

"Sabrina is sorry she couldn't be here, Brother. She sends her regards. She is in the field training with her men," Tristen said.

"Well, we will miss her warm presence her at Court," Alistair said.

"Yes, she is a bright spot amongst all the darkness," Tristen replied.

Sabrina paused and watched Alistair's reaction. He hesitated, then nodded, "Yes, she is. A very wise and perceptive wife you have there, my Brother."

Satisfied that Alistair understood the message, Sabrina slid behind the curtain. She stared in revulsion at what she saw. Behind each throne stood a warrior, both dressed in the armor of the royal guard, swords drawn. Both of the soldiers were in clear view of each other, in between them was the door that lead to Eamon's office. The passage granted the Chancellor quick access when he needed to retrieve a document, or law quickly.

The guard closest to her was positioned directly behind Alistair. He needed to be eliminated first. Sabrina eased around the first guard, he felt the air move as she passed, but he quickly dismissed it. She paused for a second and then opened the door to Eamon's office. The door slowly creaked open and both assassins looked at it. The older of the two men nodded at the other, the man slowly made his way over to the door and looked down the dark passageway. Over his shoulder, Sabrina threw a pebble down the corridor. The man tensed, raised his sword and eased into the hallway. The other assassin watched as the man disappeared from sight. Sabrina slid behind the senior warrior, raised her dagger and brought the pommel down hard on the back of his head. Her arm wrapped around his waist as the man slumped against her body, her other hand shot forward and with lightning fast reflexes Sabrina grabbed his falling sword out of mid-air. She noiselessly lowered the man to the ground.

Turning, she crept up behind the other assassin that was now half way down the passage. Again she took this one from behind; she quickly covered his mouth and jerked his head back, swiftly slitting his throat. She silently moved the first assassin into the passage and closed the door. She had just moved back to the dais when Zev let out a loud cry and the doors on either side of the throne room burst open, as several assassins dressed in royal guard armor poured through the doors. Tristen immediately moved toward the dais while Gabe and Kaylessa moved to engage the new arrivals. Alistair dove toward Anora, knocking her to ground. Sabrina ran to help Tristen and as he lunged at two of the assassins, she came up from behind and backstabbed them. They quickly went down. Tristen grinned at her as she winked at him and they both spun to face the new group of attackers that had just arrived, followed closely by the real royal guard.

Between the guards and the Wardens, the assassins were quickly disposed of. Sabrina looked over her shoulder at Zev, "In that passageway is the leader, take one of the guards with you, bind him and bring him here for…."

A loud scream went up from the dais as Anora clutched Alistair to her chest. Sabrina's eyes widened as she saw the arrow that protruded from Alistair's back.

Tristen and Kaylessa swiftly moved up beside Alistair. Tristen gripped the arrow and looked over at the mage. She nodded and he pulled out the arrow. Alistair moaned as she began to cast healing spells.

Anora stroked his hair and whispered into his ear as she gripped his hand. Sabrina found the scene very moving and was glad to see that Alistair and Anora had moved into a deeper and more intimate relationship. She was glad to see that the first man that she had ever truly loved had found comfort, peace and above all, love in his life.

Kaylessa had healed Alistair to the best of her ability. She declared him stable and he was then moved to his bed chamber, Anora hovering by his side.

**xxXxx**

Several hours later, Alistair was awake and alert and he called Tristen and Sabrina to his room.

Anora was seated by his bed, her hand clasped around his. When Alistair saw Sabrina and Tristen, he smiled at them. Tristen walked over to him and gave him a hug. "It's good to see you are well, Brother. You had us worried there for a minute."

Alistair laughed "It will take more than an arrow to take me down, but I appreciate your concern." Alistair then looked over at Sabrina, "Good call on using the code phrase."

She grinned at him, "I just wanted to reassure you that we had it under control and that you needed to be alert."

"What exactly does, 'she is a bright spot amongst all the darkness' mean and how did you know what to do?" Anora asked.

Sabrina wasn't about to tell Alistair's wife the deeper and more sentimental meaning behind that phrase so she gave her the reason for its use today. "During the Blight we had to be involved with some unscrupulous people in order to get our job done. We developed a code phrase that if spoken when in the company of these unsavory folks, it alerted the other to be on guard, that something wasn't right and to prepare for a fight. I had Tristen use the phrase because I knew Alistair would understand its meaning and to wait for the signal."

"Which I have to say, I was very impressed with Zev's warrior cry, I didn't know the assassin had it in him," Alistair said.

"That's okay, he was convinced that you would not pick up on the code, so I guess the two of you are even in your underestimations of each other," Sabrina observed.

Alistair grinned at her, "Touché… So would you care to inform us about what the hell is going on?"

Sabrina swallowed hard and proceeded, "There was a highly orchestrated assassination plot against the Throne and all the members of the Three…"

"WHAT!" Anora exclaimed. "How?... Who?... Why?"

"All very good questions, Anora," Tristen said. "The how we have been able to figure out. The plan was to take out the Three before they reached Vigil's Keep and to kill the Ferelden monarchs before word of the death of the Three reached Denerim. The purpose of the plot was to take out everyone involved in implementing the decree of the Divine."

"The who is important, but the why is even more important," Sabrina added.

"Do you have any ideas or clues regarding these attacks?" Alistair asked.

"Once I am done briefing you, I have a lead that Zev and I will be following up on," Sabrina replied.

Alistair raised an eyebrow, "A lead?"

"Yes, Alistair. I don't think you need to know more than that. If any useful information should come out of our investigation, you will be the first to know," Sabrina stated with an edge to her voice that warned Alistair to back off.

"It is not your place to decide what the King needs or doesn't need to know," Anora shot back at her.

Well so much for having sympathy for the Queen. That was a fleeting feeling. Sabrina felt her husband rest a calming hand on her shoulder, but it did not have the desired effect he was hoping for. She turned a cold stare on Anora and even Alistair flinched under her hardened gaze.

She spoke in a calm, cool and controlled voice, "It _is_when the Grey Wardens are investigating the matter. The Wardens try to stay out of politics as much as possible, but since it was the Wardens that were protecting the Three on this trip and were providing accommodations to them while they were in Amaranthine, it has now become Grey Warden business. As his Majesty knows, Grey Warden business is not discussed when there is a non Grey Warden present. If her Majesty would care to leave, I would be happy to divulge all the information that I have to Warden Alistair."

Sabrina's meaning was clear; Anora was the outsider. Sabrina had dismissed her as if she was a servant, and any information that Sabrina gave Alistair, he would not be able to share with his wife because the Commander would be sharing that information with a fellow Warden who was bound by an oath and by duty to keep all Warden business private. Sabrina remained still and emotionally unreadable while Tristen tensed as they waited for the Queen's reaction.

Anger flashed across the Queen's face before she quickly collected herself, she released her husband's hand, stiffened her back and stood. She glared at Sabrina, but her gaze softened when she looked at Alistair. "Fine, I will leave you to discuss the business at hand. These matters are too dire to allow petty arguments stand in the way of the investigation."

She straightened the skirt of her dress then walked toward the door. As she passed Sabrina she leaned in and whispered, "This isn't over. I'm getting tired of your condescending attitude with me."

A grin crossed Sabrina's face as she whispered, "Is that a threat, Anora?"

The Queen glared at her, "Yes it is."

Sabrina's grin widened even further as she hissed, "Excellent, I look forward to it."

Anora shot her one last look of disgust and quickly left the room.

"Bree, was that really necessary?" Alistair asked.

"She started it with, 'It is not your place to decide what the King needs or doesn't need to know'," Sabrina said in a mocking tone.

Alistair stiffened at the tone in which Sabrina was talking about his wife. "Sabrina, she is your Queen, you need to show her respect."

"Alistair, respect is earned. She has earned my respect as Queen. Both of you do an excellent job governing Ferelden, but that comment was directed at me as a person not as a noble or as the Warden-Commander. That was her trying to bully me into giving her information. Information that she doesn't need to know," Sabrina retorted.

"Under the circumstances that is not your call to make," Alistair shot back at her.

"Bullshit, Alistair. Neither one of you really needs to know that when I leave this room, Zev and I are going to torture a man to the brink of death to gain every last bit of information from him, so that hopefully we can prepare for whatever is coming our way," Sabrina shot back at him.

"Bree, do you really think that torture is necessary? That seems a bit extreme," Alistair countered.

Sabrina's eyes widened with shock and now her voice shook with frustration. "Don't you get it, Alistair. The movement of the Three was considered highly classified information; everyone that was in that briefing room the day before we left was a trusted friend and ally. This wasn't a random act of someone opposed to stop the Decree. No, these attacks were precise, well organized, and methodically executed. It took someone with very deep pockets to infiltrate and implement this. There is something bigger going on here, Alistair. It feels almost like a diversion, but for the life of me I can't figure out why. It's the _why,_that is eating at me."

"Well, now that you put it like that, I guess I can see the necessity of aggressively questioning this man, but don't kill him Bree. You aren't an assassin, don't become one." Alistair said as he lowered his head.

Sabrina's gaze softened, a smile caressed her lips and just as she was about to say something, a knock came from the door and Alistair called permission to enter.

A page entered, "Your Majesty, these bird messages just arrived for you. They are marked urgent." The boy handed Alistair three letters. Alistair thanked him and tore open the first letter.

Alistair quickly scanned the letter. "It's from Leli, they were attacked on the way to Redcliffe. Nate was seriously injured, but Neria managed to get the bleeding under control. He is recovering nicely at Redcliffe castle. She goes into the details of the attack, but nothing else you don't already know."

Alistair opened the second letter and quickly read it. "Damn it," he muttered. "This one is from Jinxy. Cullen was killed in the attack at Soldier's Peak. Avernus confessed he was involved in the plot and before he was killed he hinted that he was only a piece of the puzzle, that there was something much bigger going on."

"Ah no, poor C-cullen" Sabrina stammered as she tried to rein in her emotions. Tristen came up beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"I know that you liked Cullen and that you had come to respect him a great deal," her husband said as he kissed her temple and offered her comfort.

Alistair opened the third letter. "It's from Anders. He wanted to let you know that they made it to Rainesfere unharmed. That Armand has taken up his accommodations in the place that you recommended and after further convincing, he managed to say the word Orlais before he took a nap. Anders hopes this will help catch the slimy bastard that is behind this." Alistair looked at the letter one last time and then at Sabrina and Tristen. "Took a nap, my arse."

"I'm sure he was tired after his long journey," Sabrina said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm sure he was," Alistair said sardonically.

"Now if you gentleman will excuse me, I do believe I have a date with a Crow," Sabrina said.

Tristen started to rise from the chair he had taken beside the bed. Sabrina motioned for her husband to remain seated. "Mr. Head-on-a-Pike, I do believe your place is here with your brother."

"Mr. Head-on-a-what?" Alistair questioned.

Tristen grinned and shook his head, "I'll tell you about it later. Brin, I should be there with you."

She smiled and shook her head. "Sorry Love, but being third in line to the throne, you don't need to be anywhere near this investigation."

Tristen started to protest when Alistair interrupted his objections. "She is right, Tristen. You need to keep your nose clean of this one; especially if there are political implications. Besides if you're here, Anora won't be able to give me an earfull about Bree," Alistair stated.

**xxXxx**

Tristen sat in the dark in his room at the Palace. The only light came from the glowing embers of the fireplace. Sabrina had yet to return and it was well past midnight. Just after dinner, rumors had reached the Palace that several Wardens had dragged a templar out of the School of Magic and back to the Warden compound. This whole situation had him on edge and the fact that he wasn't with her made him even more uneasy. Interrogation had never been one of Sabrina's favorite things to do. She loathed inflicting unnecessary pain on an individual which was why she tried psychologically breaking someone through intimidation and coercion instead of pain. She knew that sometimes pain was a great motivator, but it was always her last resort. Unfortunately, whatever was happening didn't give them a lot of time to work with; they needed the information quickly. Tristen worried about the methods that she and Zev would have to use on whoever they were interrogating and the effect it would have on his wife.

The door to their room opened and Sabrina quietly eased herself into the room. He studied her as she made her way over to the bar and poured a large glass of brandy. As she brought the glass up to her lips he noticed the liquid sloshing back and forth from her trembling hand. She set the glass back down, gripped the sides of the bar and her shoulders began to shake as she silently wept.

He was on his feet in an instant, in two swift strides he was standing behind her, pulling her against him as he tenderly embraced her. The moment he made contact with her, a mournful cry escaped her lips. "Ssssh Love, it's okay. I'm here, it's going to be alright."

She spun in his embrace, wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him with a fierce desperation. She kissed the side of his neck as she whispered, "I don't know if things will ever be alright again."

Her words shot through him and fear began to grip his heart. He pulled back and looked at her. From the faint light of the fire he could see blood streaked across her face, but it was her eyes that paralyzed him. They were haunted and troubled. He kissed her forehead, "Tell me, tell me baby, what happened?"

"Oh Tristen, Cullen would still be alive if he hadn't put his trust in the wrong templar. None of this would have happened if Ser Karras hadn't been so easily bought off, if Cullen hadn't been so naive to trust such an unscrupulous man. It was a brilliant plan, so skillfully executed and if we hadn't arrived back here in time to save Alistair, it just might have worked. Even now they still have the chance to succeed, there might not be enough time to stop them," she said as she shuddered against him.

"Succeed at what?"

Before she could answer there was a loud knock at their door. Tristen went over and opened it. A royal guard stood there, "King Alistair requests that the Warden-Commander joins him in his study immediately."

"Oh bloody hell, she just got back and it's the middle of the night," Tristen retorted.

"It's okay, Tristen, I need to speak with him right away. Tell the King I need to clean up first and will be there shortly," Sabrina replied.

"Yes, my Lady, I will let the King know," the guard replied and then he spun on his heels to leave.

"Brin, are you sure this can't wait till morning?" Tristen inquired.

"No, Tristen it can't wait. Right now, every second counts," Sabrina replied solemnly.

She quickly stripped out of her bloody armor; stood before the water basin and swiftly washed the blood, dirt and grime off of her as best as she could. She slipped on a simple yet formfitting dress, pulled her hair back and then the two of them headed toward Alistair's study. Tristen knocked and entered. Alistair was alone as he paced around the room, he paused when he caught sight of them. One look at Sabrina's face and he slumped against the desk, "Is it that bad?"

"It's bad, Alistair, but what I have to tell you, Anora needs to hear too. I know it's late, but can you ask her to come here?" Sabrina asked. That request alone was enough to send Tristen's mind spinning. Sabrina avoided Anora like the plague so it must be bad if she was asking for the Queen to join them.

"Yes of course," Alistair said as he stepped out into the hallway and asked the guard to summon the Queen.

Sabrina walked over to the bar in Alistair's study. She tried to pour a glass of brandy, but her hands were shaking so badly she missed most of the glass. Before Tristen could make it to her side, Alistair was beside her, he clasped her hands in his, "Bree are you okay? It doesn't matter how bad it is, we will find a way to deal with it."

She looked up his brother, tears brimming in her eyes, "It's bad Alistair, but…" she hesitated for a long moment. "But that isn't what's troubling me. It's t-the things that had to be done to obtain the information…" she reached for the brandy again. "I just need to wash the memory away."

Alistair looked at her and then pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry, Bree. I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

She returned the hug and then pulled out of his grasp. "I really could use a drink."

"Of course," Alistair said as he poured her a glass and handed it to her.

"What is going on that I needed to be summoned to your office in the middle of the night?" Anora asked sharply, as she walked into the room.

Sabrina took a sip of the brandy and began. "After a very thorough and extensive investigation we learned that the attacks on the Three and on the Throne were a diversionary tactic."

"That is what you suspected all along," Alistair said.

"Yes, it is. The assassinations of the Three and the Monarchy would provide the perfect diversion by throwing the country into upheaval, causing mass panic and turmoil. While the country was distracted and vulnerable, Empress Celene's armies would invade; with the throne temporarily unoccupied there would be a power vacuum and she could easily slip in, restore peace and claim the throne as her own," Sabrina stated calmly.

"That bitch!" Anora exclaimed and Sabrina couldn't help but chuckle.

"But now that the assassinations have been averted, surely she won't attack our borders now. That would be suicide," Alistair said.

Sabrina reined in her emotions, her eyes began to dance with excitement as a cunning smirk slid across her face and she took another sip of her brandy before she spoke. "Yes it would, but what if she believed that her plan had succeeded, what if she believed she would meet little resistance at the border. Her army would not expect nor be prepared to face the might of the entire Ferelden army. We could blindside her and beat her at her own game," Sabrina said.

"Why start a war if we can avoid one?" Anora protested.

"War is already on your doorstep, Anora. Celene has her eyes set on your country. Just because her plot failed this time, do you honestly think she will stop from trying to acquire what she considers a grand prize? And next time what if someone isn't here to save you, Alistair or Maker forbid, your son? The element of surprise is on our side, I say we give her the shock of her life and make her think twice about ever getting ambitious in Ferelden again," Sabrina said shrewdly.

"Alistair, you know Sabrina is right. This is the best chance you have of decisively defeating Orlais," Tristen argued.

The room was silent for a long moment as Alistair weighed all the options. He stood up and paced the room for several minutes then paused and looked at Sabrina, "I know you're a Warden and that you're supposed to remain politically neutral, but would you be willing to fight once again by my side."

"I'm a Fereldan first, Alistair, before a Grey Warden. If I need to step down from my Command so that there is no conflict of interest, then I will do so. I will proudly fight by your side again to defend the country that we both love," Sabrina stated.

Alistair grinned, "Well then let's show that stuck-up Orlesian bitch just who she is messing with!"

* * *

**A/N - The motto that Zev and Sabrina say back and forth to each other was originally said by an unknown soldier. "Born to fight, trained to kill, ready to die, neve****r will." Unknown Soldier**

***Huge thanks and hugs to my ever faithful fanfrickintastic beta and friend, Jinxy. Thank you for always being there and being so supportive. You rock!**

***A huge thank you to the betalicious RandomWittering for being a guest beta on this chapter. You chortle my world, my friend. Thank you for help. **

*** A heartfelt thank you to everyone that follows this story. Your support means the world to me. Thank you for adding this story to your favs and alert lists. Also thank you to everyone that has taken the time to share their thoughts with me. I really appreciate it. ****Letting me know what you like about the story is a huge motivator and it lets me know that you like the direction the story is taking. So thank you and please keep them coming.**

***I am such a visual person and Jinxy1983 has also created a wonderful collage of all the characters from Mirror Images and Blood Sugar Sex Magik. (remove spaces)  
**

ht tp:/ /jinxx 1983. deviantart. com/ art/ Cast- Of- Blood- Sugar- Sex- Magik- 2123 938 94

**Jinxy also created a collage of all the heroines from my stories.**

**ht tp:/ jinxx 1983. deviantart. com/ art/ What-A-Lot-Of-Awesome-Chicks-212 398 707  
**


	20. Chapter 20 Bad Moon Rising

**Chapter 20**

"I see the bad moon arising, I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightnin', I see bad times today.

Don't go around tonight, well, it's bound to take your life, there's a bad moon on the rise.

I hear hurricanes a blowin' I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers over flowin', I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

Don't go around tonight, well, it's bound to take your life, there's a bad moon on the rise

Hope you got your things together, hope you are quite prepared to die.

Looks like we're in for nasty weather, one eye is taken for an eye."

_Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival_

Alistair stood at the bottom of the dais dressed as a royal guard. He wore a helm to cover his head so that he remained unrecognizable. He was flanked on either side by his own captain of the royal guard, Ser Gilford, and the captain's second in command, Ser Harrison. These two men, outside of the conspirators of the invasion plan, were the only citizens that knew he was alive. Sabrina had insisted that he be guarded at all times just in case someone found out about the ruse. So for the past month, he had been at Vigil's Keep _assigned_as part of the Regent's security detail. While he had stayed at the Keep, Anora had been hidden at Highever Castle and though Anna was a gracious hostess, Alistair was sure that concealing the Queen had to be taking its toll. He just prayed to the Maker that his wife was a cordial and courteous guest. He would have to ask Fergus about it when he had a moment alone the Teryn.

Alistair looked at Tristen and Sabrina on the dais as his brother prepared to address the troops before they marched out for battle the following morning. The two of them looked very much like the royal couple they were pretending to be. When his and Anora's deaths had been announced, the Landsmeet immediately voted for Duncan to become king and Tristen to act as his regent until his son turned eighteen. The announcement of the monarchs' and the Three's assassinations had caused the unrest and anxiety amongst the Ferelden citizens that the Empress had hoped for. It had taken about a month for the national turmoil to reach a pinnacle breaking point. A week ago, Ferelden's spies in Orlais sent word that the Orlesian army was on the move and that Celene was even accompanying her soldiers. How completely arrogant, overconfident, and _Orlesian_of her!

Although Alistair had complete confidence in his armies, Tristen was worried. Several of the southern arlings had trouble mustering an army, and by the time they gathered their forces, they were behind schedule for their arrival in Amaranthine and the troops from Gwaren had yet to arrive, which left them short several hundred men. Messages had been sent to the dwarves and the Dalish asking for their aid. The dwarves replied that only during a Blight would the dwarven army surface to offer aid, but Bhelen said that the Legion of the Dead had offered their support. The Legion would meet the Orlesian army west of Orzammar just as their military crossed over the Frostback Mountains, and the Ferelden army would be directly behind them acting as a second front, hopefully trapping them in the valley. Much to Alistair's disappointment, they had received no word from the Dalish and this did nothing to relieve his brother's anxiety.

Tristen quickly hugged his wife then walked to the front of the dais to address the crowd. The moment he began to speak, all apprehension washed off him and he was the powerful leader that he had been born to be.

"My fellow Fereldans, once again we have gathered to confront an enemy that threatens our very freedom. This time we do not fight a horde of vicious monsters, but against tyranny, oppression, and persecution from a country that plotted the assassination of your King and Queen and the Divine's chosen ambassadors. Once again, you are being asked to show all of Thedas the strength, courage, and endurance of the Fereldan people. This country has the best spirit and the best men and women in all of Thedas; by the Maker, I actually pity those poor bastards we are going up against."

A loud cheer went up from the crowd and they began to chant, "Ferelden, Ferelden, Ferelden!"

Tristen let them yell out the mantra for a few minutes before he held up his hand for silence. Once the crowd had quieted down, he continued, "We are on the brink of battle against a tough and determined enemy. This will not be an easy fight, swords will be fractured, shields will be broken and I can't promise that we will all make it home alive. But this I swear before you and the Almighty Maker, that when we go into battle I will be the first to set foot on the field and the last to step off. And as my wife has so patiently taught me, I will leave no man behind."

Another loud cheer went up, the most boisterous cheering coming from the large group of Grey Wardens that stood near the front who were used to their Commander's motto—we leave no man behind.

"Brothers and sisters, great moments are born from great opportunities, when duty whispers low, 'Thou must' it is Fereldans that reply, 'We can and we will!' Victory is reserved only for those who are willing to pay its price. I am willing to pay the price for freedom. Are you?"

Another resounding cheer went up. "Good, then join me, brothers and sisters, for what we do in this life echoes into the Fade and throughout history. Energetically we will meet our enemies, we will defeat them in battle for we are better trained, we fight for a greater purpose, and we will fight with all of our might. Surrender is not a Fereldan word. Today with one voice we declare: Ferelden will not go quietly, we will not be occupied without a fight, we are Fereldans, and we will live on! We will survive!"

Another enthusiastic shout went up as the crowd began to chant once again, "Ferelden, Ferelden, Ferelden!"

Alistair grinned and shook his head. Tristen had a presence about him that demanded attention and engaged a crowd. It came naturally to him. Alistair had to work at it, but over the years under his brother's instruction, he had become a lot more comfortable with speaking in public.

As the crowd began to disperse, Alistair came alongside his brother to escort him into the Keep. "Nice speech... did Bree write that for you?"

Tristen grinned. "She contributed to it."

"Contributed? Try: wrote the whole damn thing! The man can give one hell of speech, but couldn't write one to save his life," Sabrina said with a chuckle from behind them.

"And why should I when I have my beautiful wife to craft such emotionally arousing remarks?"

She grinned at him. "It was the beautiful wife comment that saved your arse."

Tristen slid his arm around her waist as he pulled her to him; he kissed her temple then whispered something in her ear that Alistair couldn't hear. She laughed, blushed and smacked him as she said with a smile, "Only if you beg."

Tristen grinned and winked at her as they made their way into the great hall so that Sabrina could give instructions to her officers. Alistair had it written into his will that if his death occurred by any means other than natural causes that Sabrina would lead the Ferelden armies until a full investigation could take place. The purpose had been to stop a military coup from happening.

As the officers, Grey Wardens, and nobles took their seats, Alistair sat beside Tristen, still wearing his helm so that no one could identify him. Sabrina walked up to the dais and began, "As Tristen so eloquently stated, we have quite an ordeal ahead of us. I have heard nobles ask what our strategy is." She paused as she looked around the room at the men and women gathered before her. "It's rather simple, actually; it's to wage war with all of our might, all our strength, and all our will. It's to defeat a horrendous tyrant who hopes to once again oppress this great nation of ours. What is our purpose? I can answer that in one word: victory! Victory no matter what the price! Victory even in the face of death! Victory however long it takes! Victory no matter how hard the battle is! Victory, because the alternative is unthinkable." She grabbed her mug of ale and hosted high in the air. "To victory!"

The crowd gathered yelled, "To Victory!"

Alistair leaned over and whispered to Tristen, "I think she saved the best remarks for herself."

Tristen grinned. "She wasn't planning on giving remarks. I must have inspired her."

Alistair laughed at the woman who never ceased to amaze him. In the short time that they had been together, he had learned so much from her. He hoped that he used his charm and wisdom half as well as she did to lead the citizens of his country.

"Now, there will be three groups heading out from here tomorrow morning. The first will travel to the Port of Amaranthine. This is the furthest port and the one least likely to be attacked in the Orlesians' first assault. Warden Oghren and Arl Teagan Guerrin will lead Rainesfere's guards and Wardens Jean-Luc and Marcell. First Seeker Leliana will also be a part of this group, guarded by Bonkzy—"

"Aye, Commander, not only am I not fighting, but I have to babysit the traitorous Orlesians," Oghren grumbled.

Sabrina spun to face Oghren, her eyes dancing with fury, her voice cold as ice. "Oghren, they are not Orlesians. They are Wardens, they are your brothers, and you will treat them with the same respect as any of your fellow brothers and sisters. Is that understood?"

Oghren drew in a deep breath and sighed, "Yes, Commander."

As if the confrontation never happened, she continued. "The second group will head to Port Highever. Warden Nathaniel Howe and Teryn Fergus Cousland will lead the Highever guards and Wardens Tess, Gabe, and Kaylessa."

Sabrina paused; she looked at Tristen, who gave her a slight nod as she drew in a deep breath. Alistair noticed her hands shaking as she began to speak. "As of this moment, I step down as Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens and turn my command over to Neira Surana. Commander Surana will remain at Vigil's Keep with a dozen Wardens and Keep guards. The rest of the Silver Order will accompany me, Arl Tristen Theirin, Zevran Arainai, Mari Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, and against my better judgment, Grand Enchanter Anders and his guard Jinxy to the main battlefield just outside of Orzammar."

Sabrina's original plan had been for Leliana and Anders to remain in Denerim during the battle; both adamantly refused. So she compromised, amending the plan so that the First Seeker and Grand Enchanter were in the more secure locations of the northern ports. Leliana grudgingly agreed, but Anders absolutely refused not to fight by her side. Alistair had to admire the mage. He had balls of iron to go head to head with Sabrina, but in the end, he won her over by appealing to her heart by telling her he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to her on the battlefield and he wasn't there to heal her. Anders also made it known that he wasn't thrilled with Mari participating in the battle, but his wife made some comment that he wasn't the only one allowed to have all the fun, with the twins safe in Rainefere with Merrill there was no reason she couldn't defend her country, and not to mention she had been itching for a good fight. Anders knew it was a losing battle and agreed to have his wife with him in the battle. Alistair had to admire the rogue's tenacity; she reminded him of Sabrina.

As they made their way out of the grand hall, Neira came up to them, and said, "Commander."

Sabrina smiled. "You're the Commander now."

Neira smiled sheepishly at her. "Yes, just remember that when you return safe and sound you are taking back your command."

Sabrina laughed. "You haven't even been commander for more than ten minutes and already you're looking to relinquish your station?"

"Yes, Oghren is already badgering me about wanting the key to the ale cellar."

Sabrina grinned as she yelled, "Ooooh, Oghren!"

"Yes, Comman—General," the dwarf replied.

She turned and looked at the dwarf, her eyes sparkling mischievously. "Do you remember the conversation that we had yesterday about the consequences you will be facing by you giving Neira a hard time about the ale cellar?"

"Ah, well, Boss Lady, I remember talking with you about something… your lips were moving, there were hand gestures, but other than that, the details are a little fuzzy."

"Let me refresh your memory," Sabrina said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It involved the Broma Brother's song, a tutu, and a nug. And right now, I'm mentally picking out a very frilly magenta tutu with lime green trim."

Alistair and Tristen chuckled. "Please continue to give her a hard time. I want to see that," Tristen said.

"Oh, yeah, I remember something about that," Oghren said.

Zev chortled. "My dear friend, you could just continue to harass the new commander, and then I could join you. Lime green looks fabulous with my complexion."

"Aye, Command—General, don't you think we should be able to drink? It's the night before the battle."

"Actually, Oghren, it's the night before we march off to battle. The battle is easily a week away," Tristen said.

"Still, for morale… for the men's morale, the ale should be flowing," Oghren said.

Sabrina laughed. "Fine, I will speak with Neira about bringing out more ale, but you better behave yourself, my little dwarven friend, or else I will be very cross with you."

"She says that with the sweetest voice, but beware, Oghren, that is the last thing you want. The last time Bree was cross with me, she ordered my wife to drive a dagger through my heart," Anders said from behind them.

"Once, when she was cross with me, she ordered me to jump on the back of a high dragon," Zev added.

"Ordered is such a harsh word. It was more of a suggestion," Sabrina said as she looked back and forth between the mage and the assassin.

"Once, when she was cross with me, she ordered me to jump into Lake Calenhad to retrieve her sword," Alistair said.

"What? I was cross because you were acting like a spoiled brat just because I called you 'Your Highness' and I ordered you to retrieve it because you were the idiot that threw it in the lake in the first place," Sabrina said.

"Fine, I get the point," Oghren grumbled. "I won't give the new commander a hard time about the ale, but don't blame me if a certain _General's _brandy disappears."

"Touch my brandy and you die dwarf!" Sabrina exclaimed as everyone laughed.

"You _do not_want to mess with this woman's brandy. I would have thought you learned that lesson by now," Alistair said.

Oghren stumbled off mumbling to himself as their small group made their way up to the Keep's battlements. Once on top of the walkway high above the Keep, Alistair pulled off his helm. "Maker, those bloody things are hot!"

Tristen patted his brother on the back as he walked by him. "I appreciate you suffering on my behalf. You're the best bodyguard I've ever had."

"I'm the only bodyguard you've ever had."

"Huh, that's true. So, it really would be unfair to say you're the best. You could actually suck," Tristen said with a roguish grin.

"Well, I've had quite a few, and I can tell you, I'm the best you've ever had."

Sabrina came up behind them. "I don't even want to know what the heck you two are talking about."

"I do! It sounds provocative," Zev said.

"Only you could think that talking about bodyguards is arousing," Alistair replied.

Tristen opened a bottle of fine Antivan brandy while Sabrina pulled out several glasses from her bag and handed them to Zev, Anders, and Alistair.

As Tristen filled their glasses, they all looked out at the sea of soldiers' campfires that sparkled against the hillside. Sabrina raised her glass. "Here's to the Fereldan soldiers, past, present, and future. Raise your glasses high for those that are now carrying the torch of freedom."

"Salute," they all said in unison.

"What's this? You're starting without me?" Fergus asked as he joined the group.

"We were just testing the brandy to make sure that it held up to your fine standards," Sabrina said.

"I gave Tristen that bottle, so I know it's the best brandy in all of Ferelden. You were just looking for an excuse not to share it with me."

"Never, brother, what is yours is mine." Fergus raised an eyebrow as she grinned at him. "I mean, what is mine is yours. Not to mention I'm insulted that you insinuate that I wouldn't share." Sabrina looked at the group and asked, "Would I do something like that?"

All answered in unison, "Yes!"

Sabrina giggled. "What can I say, it's damn good brandy."

"Well, since you were too impatient to wait, you need to make another toast," Fergus said.

"Here's to big breasted women," Zev said.

Sabrina scoffed. "I'm not toasting to that."

"You have something against big breasts?" Zev asked.

"Not at all, but I would rather toast to asses and staffs than breasts," Sabrina said.

They all laughed and yelled, "To asses and staffs!"

"You could always ask Anders to turn you into a woman with large breasts. 'Cause I would toast to that!" Zev said.

Sabrina looks down at her chest. "My breasts are perfect just the way they are."

"Hear, hear," Zev and Anders replied as they lifted their glasses.

"Hey, stop looking at my wife's chest or else this battle will be short a mage and an assassin."

"Well, let's toast to my brother, for always being late," Sabrina said.

"I'm never late, Bean, I always arrive on time."

"Yes, it's just the rest of us who are simply early, right?" she asked with a roguish grin.

"By the way, where did Bree get the nickname Bean?" Anders asked.

Sabrina's face became hard as stone. "If you open your mouth, Fergus Cousland, so help me Maker, I'll throw you off this tower."

"Have no fear, I'll levitate you, Fergus," Anders said.

Fergus looked at Bree and winked. "You know I can't resist telling a good Bean story."

"Fine, go right ahead, and then I'm going to tell them all about your trip to One Eyed Jack's," Sabrina said.

Fergus went wide-eyed. "You wouldn't!"

Sabrina raised an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"

"You went to One Eyed Jack's?" Alistair asked in awe.

"What's One Eyed Jack's?" Anders asked.  
"I know you were raised in the Circle, but really, Anders, I can't believe you, of all people, haven't heard of One Eyed Jack's?" Tristen asked.

"Well, would you just tell me already?"

"Only the most infamous brothel in all of Thedas," Zev said.

"What! How did I miss that one? What makes it so notorious?" Anders asked.

Zev grinned. "The girls there are renowned for their beauty and for their highly talented _skills,_and one pays a very pretty sovereign to go there. However, what has made them legendary is not that, but the fact that two Kings, one from Antiva and one from Nevara, died while in the throes of passionate love making."

"Well, if you're gonna go, that isn't a bad way to cross over to the Fade," Anders said.

Zev chortled. "Hear, hear."

Now all eyes turned back to Fergus. "Well, thanks, Zev, for that enlightening history lesson," Fergus stated dryly.

Sabrina grinned at her brother. "Well, brother… do we go tit-for-tat?"

Fergus shook his head in defeat. "Nope, the origins of Sabrina's nickname will remain a mystery."

"What? We don't get to hear either one of those stories? You can't leave us hanging like this!" Anders said.

Zev waved a nonchalant hand. "Don't worry about it, my friend. Nate calls her Bean, too, so he must know how she got the nickname. We will just ask him."

Sabrina just grinned and shook her head.

Zev cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "He won't?"

"Nope, because what I have on him is just as bad. He will never tell my secret," Sabrina stated firmly.

"Well, what had all the potential of being a very entertaining evening has turned out very disappointing," Anders muttered as he stood up. "If no scandalous stories of the Cousland siblings are going to be shared, then I'm going to head to back to my room to see my wife."

"Good night, Anders," Sabrina said with a grin.

Anders leaned down kissed Sabrina's cheek and whispered, "One day, I'm going to get you to tell me those tales."

She grinned. "Nope, those tales will go into the Deep Roads with me."

"We'll see about that," Anders said as he stood and winked at her.

"Anders, I'll head down with you. I saw a very pretty chambermaid earlier, and I think I can convince her that I need a turn-down service," Zev said with a chuckle as they headed for the stairs.

Tristen poured each of them some more brandy and the four of them sat in silence for a long moment, staring at all the twinkling campfires.

"It's hard to believe almost forty years ago our fathers were engaged in a very similar war with Orlais," Alistair said.

Fergus snickered. "Yes, it is. I can't believe that those bastards think we would just roll over and surrender to them."

Tristen looked out at the army that wasn't enough and his brow furrowed with worry.

Fergus rested his hand on his shoulder. "What is bothering you, Tristen?"

"We don't have enough men. The troops from Gwaren have yet to arrive, the dwarves will not be giving us aid, and we have yet to hear from the Dalish. I'm worried that a lot of good men and women will die."

Fergus was quiet for a long moment before he said, "There was a story that my father used to tell me about when he and Maric fought together. It was one of the battles near the end of the war; the Ferelden army was terribly outnumbered and the tide of the battle was turning gravely against them when Maric came up with a plan to make it look as if he was going to surrender. My father thought he had lost his mind, but the King just shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Just follow my lead, my friend. I promise I won't lead you astray.'

"Against my father's better judgment, he surrendered right alongside Maric. The Orlesians brought them back to their camp, tied them up, and put them in a tent that was guarded. Now, I don't know if you know this about your father, but he was double-jointed, so he spent half the night working his way out of the restraints. Once he had freed himself, he helped my father out of his. The camp was huge, but the two of them quietly and systematically took out the entire camp until they stumbled across Emperor Florian's royal tent. They fought over a dozen men until every last one of them was dead and they captured the Emperor.

"When the skirmish was over, Maric looked over at my father and said, 'You should have more faith in me, old friend.'

"Father smiled at the King slyly. 'Be careful who you're calling old, and I never doubted you for a minute, but that sword doesn't do much for that warrior image you're trying to achieve.'

"Maric looked at the sword in his hand only to discover that it was broken right down to the hilt with all the fighting he had done. He began to laugh. 'Shit, I don't even know how long it's been like that.'"

All of them began to laugh.

"I don't recall in any of my history lessons about Maric capturing Florian," Sabrina said.

"That's because they were ambushed on their way back to the Fereldan camp and Florian escaped. Anyway, my point is even when the odds are against you, strength, wisdom, perseverance, and the willingness to take risks can change everything."

Tristen raised his glass. "To strength!"

Sabrina raised hers. "To wisdom!"

Fergus raised his. "To perseverance!"

Lastly, Alistair raised his. "To the willingness to take risks!"

They touched their glasses together, "Salute!" they exclaimed in unison.

* * *

**A/N – I cannot take credit for parts of Tristen's speech. The ****following quotes were incorporated into his remarks:**

"**Great moments are born from great opportunities," Herb Brooks**  
"**When duty whispers low, 'Thou must' the youth replies, 'I can'." Ralph Waldo Emerson** "**Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay**** its price." Sun Tzu**  
"**Leave no man behind." Was first used by the US Army Rangers, however it is a mainstay in most military branches all over the world, especially in Special Forces.**

***I also want to note that Winston Churchhill's Victory speech was the inspiration for Sabrina's words of encouragement.  
**

*******I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. Please continue to give me your op****i****nions. **

***I also want to thank betatastic dynamic duo, Jinxy and Mackillian, for their fantabulous beta-ing skills, for your support and for being such a great sounding board. You ladies are rock stars!**


	21. Chapter 21 This is War

**Chapter 21**

A warning to the people, the good and the evil, this is war

To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim, this is war

It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie

The moment to live and the moment to die

The moment to fight, the moment to fight

To fight, to fight, to fight

To the right, to the left, we will fight to the death

To the edge of the earth, it's a brave new world from the last to the first

_This is War by 30 Seconds to Mars_

**Highever Castle**  
**Late at night, four days after the armies left Vigil's Keep**

Fergus stood quietly in the shadows as he and Nate watched the assassin advance toward his bed that was supposed to have his wife. Anger coursed through his veins at the very thought of a hired murderer in his bed chamber, the room he shared with his wife, the room that he made love to his wife in, the room that his children were born in. Although he had not witnessed the slaughter of his family first hand, he had heard many accounts of that night, and visions of what had happened to his family drifted through his mind, causing his temples to pound with fury.

When he had arrived back in Highever two days ago, one of his loyal servants had come to him in private and told him that he had been approached by a stranger that was willing to pay his servant a lot of gold to leave the door to hidden passage in the larder unlocked. Fergus told him to accept the coins and to go along with the plan. Fergus had then secretly moved his family and the royal family to the home of a trusted bann near Highever. Now as he watched the assassin creep along in his room, the rage that his family home was once again being invaded was becoming uncontrollable and he shifted with anticipation. Nate rested his hand on his shoulder in an effort to calm him. He relaxed his shoulders and drew in a deep breath as he observed the killer that now stood beside his bed. The assassin arched his arm up high in the air and brought it down into the form under the blankets. As he drew his hand back, feathers stuck to his blade.

The murderer arched a brow. "What the?"

The murderer heard the whistle of the arrow seconds before the arrow struck him in the thigh. The man screamed, fell to the floor, and rolled back and forth in agony.

Fergus was at the man's side in an instant; he knelt down, drew his blade, and pressed it against the man's throat. Fergus reigned in his anger as he focused on the task at hand. Fergus clamped his hand over the screaming assassin's mouth and pierced the skin of the would-be murderer slightly with his dagger as he said, "Shut up or I'll gut you from navel to sternum and watch you slowly bleed to death."

The assassin's eyes widened with fear.

"You believe me. That is good. Now, there is one thing that is inevitable here this evening, and that is your certain death. The manner and the speed in which you die is completely up to you. Tell me what I want to know and I will make sure your death is swift. Lie to me or try to be brave and withhold information and you will perish in the most excruciating way. And believe me, my friend, I know how to do deal an agonizing death. Do you believe me?"

The killer hesitated and Fergus chuckled. "You obliviously know who I am. Do you know who my sister is?" The man nodded. "Do you know that she travels in the company of an ex-Antivan Crow?" The man shook his head as his eyes widened again as fear then turned to panic.

"Well, you might not have taken this assignment if you had known that. See, I, too, am very good friends with her Blight companion and he has taught me many of the secrets that the Crows use when questioning a hostage. So you need to ask yourself if you want me to demonstrate some of those interrogation techniques personally for you or are you going freely give me the information that I desire? Are you going to co-operate?"

The man nodded yes.

"Good, this is good…"

Before Fergus could begin to ask his questions, Tess and Gabe came into the room with the other assassin in tow. "Well, if he won't answer your questions, we might be able to convince this one to talk. I'm sure the interrogation of that one might help loosen his tongue," Tess said with a chuckle.

"Well, two is always better than one," Nate said.

Tess raised an eyebrow. "Really? Do tell."

Nate grinned. "Well, two shoes are better than one, a sword for each hand is better than just one, two breasts are—"

"Thanks, Nate. We get the point," Fergus interjected before he turned his attention back to the killer in front of him. "What is your name?"

"N-neil."

Tess pulled the traveling cloak's hood off and slid her blade under the chin of the killer in front of her. "Don't tell me your name's Bob?"

The man gave her a questioning look.

Nate rolled his eyes. "Ignore her."

"So, Neil, tell me who hired you." Fergus said.

"I don't know. He didn't give me name, but he had an Orlesian accent," the assassin said.

Fergus eyes flared with anger. "So, not only are you an assassin, but you're a traitor."

"W-what? No, I'm not…" the man stuttered.

"Neil, you're a pathetic liar. I do believe the punishment for treason during a time of war is to be drawn and quartered," Nate stated.

"War? W-what are you talking about?" Neil asked.

Fergus cocked an eyebrow. "Don't even try to tell me that you don't know that Ferelden and Orlais are at war!"

"Y-your Grace, my family and I arrived in Ferelden three days ago from Orlais on a merchant ship. I have heard no news of what was going on in Ferelden while I was on that ship. W-when I arrived in port, I was approached by a well dressed Orlesian noble and given a business proposition. I-I had to accept the terms. I did not know we were at war, I swear to the M-maker."

Fergus looked over the large man in front of him. He was not built for stealth, but just the opposite; the man was a boulder. Why would they hire a warrior when agility and slyness was needed? "What was the proposition that the noble made to you?"

The man's eyes began to tear up. "Please, my Lord, t-they are going to k-kill my family."

"Who is going to kill your family?"

"The nobleman, he took my family hostage and said they would only be returned to me once I had killed the Teyrn and his family."

"Why? Why do they want me and my family dead?"

"They didn't tell me that, but I overheard some guards speaking. They said that the death of the Teyrn would bring the unrest that they needed and would make Highever easy pickings."

Fergus had felt as if someone had just punched him in the gut. "When you left here tonight, where were supposed to meet these men to let them know that your mission has been completed?"

"I have two horses not far from the entrance to the secret passage. I was supposed to meet the nobleman on a bluff not far from here."

"Where is your family?"

"I don't know. The noble said they were safe in their camp and would remain safe as long as I did what I was told to do."

Fergus nodded over toward his accomplice. "And who is he?"

"My brother-in-law, Bennett."

Fergus stood up and paced the room as he quickly devised a plan. He spun to look at Nate. "I need you to scout out that bluff as quickly as possible, and then meet me where Neil's horses are. On your way out ask Kaylessa to come here so she can heal Neil's leg."

Nate nodded."Yes, your Grace." Then swiftly headed out the door.

Fergus eyed the brother-in-law, and then Gabe. The two of them were the same size and build and very similar coloring with the exception of Gabe's goatee. "Gabe, I need you to quickly shave that goatee and change clothes with Bennett. Neil, this Grey Warden is going to accompany you the meeting spot. You need to act as if you accomplished your mission and get them to take you to your family. If you do anything to alert the Orlesian scum that Gabe isn't your brother-in-law or that I am still alive, he will kill you on the spot and all hope of your family making it out of this alive will die with you. Do you understand?"

Neil nodded.

"Good man. It's going to be okay, Neil. We will get your family back. Tess, take Bennett and lock him one of the guest rooms. I want two guards placed outside his door."

Tess nodded, took Bennett by the arm, and led him toward the guest wings.

An hour later, Fergus, Neil, Tess, Gabe, and Kaylessa met Nate at the man's horses.

"Well, for being a noble, he is heavily armed and has at least five soldiers with him," Nate said.

Fergus looked at Neil. "How much interaction did this noble have with Bennett?"

"Not much. I am the head of the household, so he always addressed me."

Fergus grinned. "Okay, good." He handed Gabe a long wooden tube that had a several small dials on it that appeared to move. "You know what to do?"

"Yes, your Grace, you can count on me," the ex-Templar said with a smile.

Fergus, Tess, Kaylessa, and Nate jumped onto their horses. He looked at Gabe. "Give us about ten minutes to get into position."

Gabe nodded and Fergus' group took off into the woods. Fergus and Kaylessa had just eased up behind a large boulder near the clearing when Gabe and Neil road into the camp. A large, well dressed warrior approached the two men.

"Well?" he demanded.

"It is done. The Teyrn and his family are dead," Neil replied.

A malicious grin spread across the Orlesian's face. "Excellent."

"My family, Ser, can I now get my family back?" Neil asked.

The Orlesian leveled a cruel stare at the man then glanced at the soldier standing near them. "Kill them!"

"I wouldn't be so quick to give that order," Gabe said calmly, the hood of the traveling cloak pulled up to cover his eyes.

"Oh? So you do speak? Why is that?"

Gabe reached into his pocket and all of the soldiers immediately reacted and drew their swords. Gabe smiled. "I am not reaching for my weapon. I just wanted to retrieve this." Gabe then pulled out the wooden tube that Fergus had handed to him.

The warrior's eyes narrowed. "What is that?"

"Well, while we were at Highever Castle I came across the Teyrn's private study. Inside this tube are Ferelden's battle plans. I thought Empress Celene and General Bouvier might want to have a look at these," Gabe said evenly.

The warrior narrowed his eyes even more. "Who said anything about a war?"

"It was on everyone's lips the moment that our ship docked in Highever. Tension has been building between our two countries for years and now Orlesian soldiers conspire to kill the second highest noble in all of Ferelden. It doesn't take man of superior intelligence to figure out is happening here."

"Let me see those plans," the warrior demanded.

Gabe continued to smile, "Just a minutes, see while I was in the Teyrn's office I also found a Crypstery Cylinder and I placed the battle plans inside the canister."

"What exactly is a Crypstery Cylinder?"

Gabe continued to smile and Fergus could tell it was irritating the Orlesian. "A Crypstery Cylinder is a tube that requires entering a code using the dials to open it. The message inside the tube is written on papyrus parchment. Within the cylinder is a small vial of vinegar, if anyone tries to force the tube open, the vinegar will dissolve the message… bye-bye battle plans."

"How would a common merchant know anything about a Crypstery Cylinder?"

"Who said I was common?" Gabe asked and Fergus noticed Kaylessa stifle a laugh.

"Now, if you would like me to open the cylinder and retrieve the battle plans, you will take both of us to our families immediately. Once we see that they are alive and safe, and have been released, I will open the Crypstery Cylinder for you."

The warrior's face turned bright red as he realized he had been out maneuvered and had no choice but to bring them back to camp. Fergus knew the General Bouvier's reputation and the man was not going to be happy with this latest development.

**xxXxx**

**City of Amaranthine**  
**Six days after the armies left Vigil's Keep**

Leliana sat in a dark corner of the Amaranthine Chantry and cried. Since the assassination attempts and fabricated deception of their deaths, this was the first moment that she truly had been able to be alone with her thoughts and her grief now overwhelmed her and her tears flowed freely. When the news of Cullen's death had reached her at Redcliffe, she had felt the stab of pain pierce her heart, but she had not been able to dwell on it because the unfolding events required immediate action and the anguish over the loss would only cloud her judgment and focus. Now, however, as she sat alone, the tears flowing, she gave into the pain of losing her lover.

Leliana and Cullen's relationship had started out slowly as they built a mutual respect and trust with each other. As members of the Three, they had worked closely together to implement the Divine's Holy Plan for Mages and Templars. Leliana had admired Cullen's strength and perseverance. He had seen and experienced the worst of mages, but still managed to remain open minded, not allowing hatred to take a foot hold in his heart or mind. The closer they worked together, the more she discovered the man had mischievous and playful sense of humor that she found a complete contrast to his subdued outward appearance. The Templar had grown and matured from the angry, frightened knight they had discovered imprisoned at the Circle to a confident, self-possessed man. Despite his strength and the air of authority that he exuded when he was alone with her, he was the most gentle, tender man she had ever known, and over the course of the past year, she had fallen head over heels in love with him. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man and so much more than her own mind could have imagined. She fondly recalled their last night in Denerim together. They had thought it best to keep their relationship a secret, and Anders was the only one who knew that they were romantically involved. That last night together, once most of the Palace had gone to sleep, Cullen had made his way to her rooms.

_She had opened the door and Cullen swiftly stepped in. He wore a loose tunic with the laces undone halfway down his chest, revealing __his magnificently sculpted muscles. His light hazel eyes danced as he admired the thin, lacy chemise she wore._

_He grinned impishly at her. "My, you looked good enough to eat."_

_She smiled back at him as she ran her hand down the exposed skin of his chest.__ His arm snaked around her waist as he drew her against him. He looked down at her and graced her with that bone-melting smile of his that kicked her pulse up and caused her heart to race every time._

_He leaned down and whispered, "Oh, Lel, throughout that__ entire boring meeting, all I could think about was my lips on your skin, and my mouth tasting and ravishing you."_

_Being this close to him, he overwhelmed her senses with a dominant sexuality that radiated off of him, and his mouth this close to her made __her flesh tingle with anticipation. Her body instinctively softened and curved against his. She could feel his pure, unadulterated lust for her, and it felt so good, so thrilling, and so right that she was about to drown in the sensation._

_She feathered ki__sses along his jaw until she had found his mouth; she paused and whispered, "I was wet with the mere thought of your lips on me."_

_She felt his body tremble with desire at her words as a groan slipped from his lips, and his eyes flared with longing as he p__ulled her to him and claimed her mouth with his. The kiss was carnal, sensual, and deeply erotic. He slowly traced the edge of her mouth with his tongue, and as her lips parted, he slipped deeper in, probing and exploring. As the heat flowed down her body,__ his hands followed the same path, and his palms ran down her arms, chasing shivers and creating new ones that slid even lower. Hunger swelled deep inside her and she arched against him as she lost herself in him. She tangled her fingers in the silky curls__ of his hair as he deepened the kiss._

_His hands slid underneath her bottom, fingers kneading, stroking, and burning her skin. His fingers pushed aside the fabric of her panties and he tenderly ran his finger across her nub back to the center of her core t__hen slid his fingers deep inside her as she moaned with exquisite pleasure. "Maker," he groaned. "You are sopping wet. I want to bury myself deep inside you, love." _

_He slipped his slick fingers out, teased and caressed the taut knot of nerves before plun__ging deep inside her again. He alternated his strokes and thrusts until her body quaked with need and began to spiral out of control. He masterfully manipulated her until her muscles contracted around his fingers, causing her to cry out his name as pleasur__e ripped through her; she felt her legs buckle, but he held her tightly against him as the orgasm rocked her body and wave after wave of ecstasy enraptured her. She fell against him, panting, amazed at the effect he had on her._

_He scooped her into his arm__s and carried her to the bed, where they had spent the rest of the night giving and receiving pleasure from each other until they were both completely sated and unable to move._

Leliana grasped pendant that she wore around her neck. It was a gold puzzle piece. Its counterpart that fit perfectly together with her piece had been worn by Cullen. After their night of delightful lovemaking, Cullen had given her the necklace. As he clasped it around her neck, he feathered kisses on her shoulder. "I will wear the matching part of this pendant; two strong, individual people, that when brought together, are complete and once again whole."

Anders had helped his fellow ambassador, and unlikely friend, pick out the piece of jewelry. When Anders had heard of Cullen's death, he had immediately sent a bird messenger to Jinxy asking her to remove the necklace before honoring Cullen with a pyre. Leliana was grateful for the mage's quick thinking as she pulled Cullen's half out of her pocket and clasped it around her neck to join her own. She stroked both of them lovingly as she prayed to the Maker to give her the strength help her get through the pain that was threatening to engulf her and pull her under.

The door to the Chantry burst open as a squat man rushed in. He spotted Leliana in the corner. "By a Paragon's arse, you're a hard woman to track down," Oghren panted as he rushed toward her.

Leliana stood up. "What's going on?"

"The docks are on fire," Oghren huffed as he tried to catch his breath.

"What? How did this happen?" Leliana asked.

Oghren raised an eyebrow. "Well, there were actually two fires that broke out, one on either end of the docks."

Leliana furrowed her brow. "How convenient. Spreading out volunteers and men to put out the fire is a nice diversion, don't you think?"

Oghren chuckled. "My thoughts exactly. Glad to see the cushy job hasn't made you soft."

Leliana ignored the dwarf. "Oghren let the men that are already on the docks handle the fire. Get Bonkzy, Jean-Luc, and Marcell from the Lions Inn, and I will get Teagan and Constable Aidan. Meet me on top of the battlements in twenty minutes."

"Yes, mama," Oghren said as he spun on his heels and headed out the door.

Twenty minutes later, on top of the ramparts, Leliana took the spyglass from her pack and looked towards the docks. The fire seemed to spread and it looked like utter chaos as the ships tried to clear the harbor before the fire reached their boats. Leliana spun, and then looked at the horizon just outside the city gates.

"See anything?" Teagan asked as he joined her.

"Besides the mayhem at the docks, nothing yet," Leliana replied as she continued to study the countryside that surrounded the city.

"Leliana, you should have waited for me before you headed up here. What if this had been a trap?" Bonkzy asked as she ascended the set of stairs to the battlements.

Leliana chuckled. "Well, I had faith that you would arrive in plenty of time to save my life if need be."

"Not to belittle your faith, but I can't rely on the Maker to tell me when to show up to save your life. I can only do my job of protecting you if I am actually present to do so," Bonkzy replied sarcastically.

Before Leliana could counter, a booming voice came from behind them. "I received an urgent message to meet First Seeker up here. Why was I pulled from aiding in putting out the fire?" Constable Aidan demanded.

A small grin spread across Leliana's face. "Because the fire isn't the threat, but they are."

Leliana pointed to the hill just outside the city as a large dust cloud began to form. She handed Constable Aidan the spyglass. He looked through the lens, and his eyes widened as he whispered, "Holy shit."

"The fire was a decoy to hide the real danger that is practically at the city gates," Leliana said.

Teagan grabbed the spyglass and watched as the Orlesian flag rose out of the dust. Leliana spun to face the constable. "You need to close the city gates without delay. Try to get as many of the families inside as quickly as possible, but those gates need to close now. I need all of the city guards and Rainesfere guard up on the battlements immediately—"

"What about the fire?" Constable Aidan asked.

"The women and the merchants are going to have to fight the fire. Right now, every soldier and archer needs to be here defending the city," Leliana said. "Oghren, Jean-Luc, Marcell, Teagan, and five of your best men need to line up the catapults in the direction of the oncoming army. Begin greasing up the boulders so that we can light them. I also want the trenches filled with oil so that the archers can light their arrows." The bell sounded and the loud clamor of the city gate being closed reverberated against the rampart's walls.

She looked out at the hillside, watched as the army began to descend on them.

"Do you think Highever has fallen? Is that where this army is coming from?" Constable Aidan asked.

"No, they found a place to come ashore somewhere between here and Highever," Teagan stated, and Leliana nodded in agreement.

Both the Arl and the First Seeker evaluated the oncoming army. There were only a few hundred men, not enough to take control of a city unless their plan at catching them off guard had worked. A horn sounded and the advancing army came to a halt. A grin spread across the bard's face. "They put more stock in their decoy than they should have. With the gates being closed and the ramparts lined with soldiers for battle, I do believe we have given them reason to pause with their assault."

Through the spyglass, Leliana watched the Commander assess the situation for several minutes, then with a wave of his hand, the horn sounded and the army continued to advance toward the city.

"Hmph, that didn't make them stop for long. I've passed gas longer than that pause," Oghren muttered.

"Yes, I do believe we have all accidentally fallen victim to one of your prolonged releases," Leliana said.

"We are still talking about Oghren passing gas, not some other kind of release that I don't even want to visualize, right?" Bonkzy asked.

"By the Maker, how does Sabrina deal with you lot on a regular basis?" Teagan asked.

"I hold a special place in the Commander's heart," Oghren said.

"She must have a very big heart and a strong stomach to go along with it," Bonkzy said.

The group grew quiet as the army came to halt approximately twenty-five yards from the city wall. Leliana drew her swords, as did Bonkzy and the other soldiers around her. The archers pulled back on their bows and took aim. Teagan yelled down the line, "Hold your fire, men! Wait for my command."

The Orlesian soldiers began to chant. "_Nous vous casserons! Nous ferons merde vous en haut!_"

Leliana grinned maliciously. "Oh yeah? I've got something to say about that."

Oghren looked at the bard. "What did those bastards say?"

"We will break you! We will fuck you up!" Jean-Luc said as his voice hardened and his eyes flared with rage.

"Fuck us up? Who are they kidding? They couldn't fuck someone up with a pointy stick and a can of oil. Let's show them how it's done," Oghren said as he pulled a crate over to the wall so that he could see. As he climbed up, he accidentally knocked the arm of a nearby archer, causing him to release an arrow. As the arrow shot through the air, the group collectively inhaled when the projectile found its target and buried itself in a soldier's eye.

The chanting ceased immediately as a long pause ensued before their commander yelled, "Charge!" The group of soldiers rushed toward the wall.

"Fire!" Teagan yelled, and the archers rained down a flurry of fire arrows on the advancing troops. The catapults released fireballs into the approaching company, taking out multiple soldiers at one time and catching numerous others on fire. As the burning men tried to extinguish the flames that were lapping at their clothes and skin, they bumped into more of their own men, setting them on fire too.

"Again!" Teagan yelled, and the archers and catapults were reloaded and they rained down more brutal damage onto the Orlesian troops.

Leliana watched as the troops carrying long ladders advanced toward the wall by crossing the water in the moat. On Teagan's orders, they had closed off the dam so that the water in the trench was only ankle height, and then poured barrels of oil into canals. Once the group of Orlesian soldiers were halfway across channel, Leliana cried out, "Now!" With flaming arrows, the archers fired into the water of the moat, causing it to ignite and anything or anyone in its path went up in flames.

Leliana felt her stomach heave from the smell of burnt flesh and death.

Teagan rested a hand on her back. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

She nodded. He held out a vial of ointment. "Rub some of this under nose. It's a salve made up of elfroot, lyrium, and harlot's blush. It will help with the smell."

She did as instructed, and once she had regained control of herself, she pulled out the spyglass and watched the horrified expression of army's commander as he watched his men burned alive. A horn sounded as the commander yelled, "_Ramene en arrière_!"

Leliana and Jean Luc both exclaimed, "They are pulling back!"

A loud cheer went out from the guards on the ramparts.

"The battle is not over. Stay vigilant, men, but hopefully they have come to the conclusion that we don't break easily and we aren't the ones fucked up right now," Teagan yelled as the men cheered again.

The men stationed themselves along the battlements, waiting for the attack, thankful that they had survived the first wave without any loss of life… at least on their side.

* * *

**A/N – These battle scenes ****were made possible by the mad beta skills of**** the dynamic duo of ****Jinx1983**** and Mackillian****. Thank you for your fan****freckintastic efforts. ****Hugs and kisses for all that you do for me. You ****ladies ****rock!**

***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. Please continue to share your thoughts and opinions with me. It always makes my day! **


	22. Chapter 22 The Chosen Ones

**Chapter 22**

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood, we kill for honor

We are the holy ones our armors stained with blood, we killed the dragon

In glory we return, our destination's end, we slayed the dragon!

No more living in fear it's time to raise our king, we made it happen we're the chosen ones!

It seems to me like a journey without end, so many years, too many battles

We've finally arrived, now we're standing at the gates, heroes of the day, legends forever!"

_The Chosen Ones by Dream Evil_

**Highever – Just outside the Orlesian army camp**  
**Early Morning**

Fergus and the Wardens tracked Gabe and Neil to the Orlesian camp not far outside the City of Highever. Fergus rifled through his pack and quickly scribbled the location of the camp on a piece of parchment with instructions for the Highever army to be ready to attack at first light. He folded the orders and handed it to a young rogue that served Highever. Fergus knew that the young man was extremely loyal to the Couslands. "Marko, I need you to take my horse and ride like the wind to the Highever camp and deliver this to Captain Reynolds."

"Yes, Your Grace," the rogue said as he bowed and then gracefully leapt onto Fergus' horse.

"Do you think they will make it in time?" Nate asked.

"Let's pray they do. Last thing we need is to get caught with our hands in the cookie jar. Mal Reynolds is as solid as they come. If anyone can mobilize the guard quickly, it will be him, and he will know the importance of a surprise attack," Fergus stated.

They edged toward the enemy's camp, scouting the perimeter for lone soldiers. When they found a guard that was the same size as each of them, Kaylessa would stun the man. After Fergus, Nate, and Tess had removed their Orlesian armors and dressed in them, Kaylessa would then tie them up.

Since both Fergus and Nate spoke Orlesian, Fergus instructed Nate and Tess to track Gabe and Neil, while he and Kaylessa silently worked their way through the camp looking for General Bouvier's tent. Fergus knew that the general's quarters would be located near the center of camp and would be heavily guarded. He would need the mage to stun and freeze as many as soldiers as possible; once immobilized he could kill them silently.

The two of them moved through the camp silently, dealing death to their enemies. Fergus was very impressed with Kaylessa's willingness to get her hands dirty so to speak. The mage had no qualms about slitting the throats of the men she had incapacitated. Sabrina had chosen well when she recruited this one. An hour later they had made their way to the center of the camp, leaving a deadly wake behind them, which they concealed by dragging the bodies into several empty tents. It would only be a matter of time before the dead soldiers were discovered, but hopefully not before the general was dead.

A sudden commotion arose through the long alleyway of tents. A few seconds later the Orlesian warrior from earlier came bursting into the clearing with Gabe and Neil in tow, followed by a high pitched whiny field marshal. "Ser, the General has been asleep for hours. I must insist that you wait until morning to bring this matter before him."

"Oh foutre moi, I am surrounded by idiots," the warrior grumbled. "Listen here you little shit, we are on the brink of war. I have information that the General needs to know. Now either you get the General up or I will wake him up!"

"Fils de salope!" General Bouvier bellowed as he stumbled out of his tent.

"Maker, you two are making enough noise to alert all of Ferelden that we are here."

"General, I am sorry to disturb you, but the assassin that we sent to Highever Castle found the Ferelden battle plans in the Teyrn's study," the warrior stated.

"Well, now Captain Roux, you definitely have my attention. Let me see these plans," General Bouvier said.

The captain grabbed Gabe by the arm, dragged him forward and handed the Crypstery Cylinder to the general. The General raised an eyebrow as he studied the object. "Huh, I'll be damned; a Crypstery Cylinder… You don't see many of these around. Those bloody Couslands… Tricky little bastards, aren't they?"

"Our assassin knows the code to open the cylinder, but refuses to open it until we release his family," Captain Roux spat.

The General perched his lips as if deep in thought. "So I take it that we have this man's family."

"Yes Ser."

"Then bring them to me," the General ordered calmly.

Fergus surveyed the situation and saw Nate's bow trained on the General. He knew Tess had to be somewhere nearby. Fergus indicated that now was not the time to take out the General. It needed to be in a more private setting so that they wouldn't alert all of the nearby guards and soldiers. Fergus saw his opportunity when the General and the Captain's backs were briefly turned away. He and Kaylessa slipped into the General's tent undetected. Fergus managed to catch Gabe's eye, and the ex-templar gave a curt nod of acknowledgement.

Fergus quickly assessed the room. There was a changing divider near the back of the room, but that really was the only place they could hide. That only gave them one point of attack, and in the small confined tent he didn't like those odds. Kaylessa must have come to the same conclusion. She leaned toward him and whispered, "I can use a chameleon charm to conceal myself, but I won't be able to hold it for very long… a few minutes at the most."

"Okay, don't cast it until the last minute possible and stand near the side of the tent, in the shadows. That way if you can't hold the charm and the opportunity to make a move hasn't risen yet, hopefully they won't see you right way," Fergus instructed.

Kaylessa nodded, and just as both of them had taken their places, a disturbance erupted outside the tent. A loud cry was heard, "Noooo, please Ser, don't harm my family!"

"Well, you should have thought about that before you decided to blackmail me," General Bouvier snarled. The sound of a blade being unsheathed and whipped through the air, then the thud of a body hitting the ground and the wail of woman.

"You fucking bastard," Gabe hissed.

"Now, if you don't want the rest of the family to meet the same fate, you will open that Crypstery Cylinder and you will open it now," the General demanded.

There was a pause before Gabe spoke, "Fine, but I need a flat surface and plenty of light."

There was another long pause, and Fergus knew Gabe was taking a gamble, but it was the only one they had. "There is a table in my tent and plenty of lamps," the General stated.

The tent flaps opened, Fergus glanced out from behind the screen and saw Kaylessa disappear from sight. The clock was now ticking. Gabe had managed to maneuver the General and the Captain so that their backs were facing him, but when Kaylessa reappeared she would be in their direct line of sight.

Fergus watched as Gabe set the cylinder on the table and slowly begin to spin the first of the five dials. A few seconds later, Fergus heard the first lock click open, then he heard Gabe start on the second dial. After what seemed like an eternity, but was only minutes later, Fergus heard the last click and the lock opened. The General grabbed the cylinder out of Gabe's hand and fumbled to open it as Fergus began to ease forward, both his sword and dagger drawn.

The end of the tube swung open and a rolled up piece of parchment fell out. The General unrolled the scroll. Fergus was nearly on top of him when he saw the General's shoulders tense with anger as he roared the words that were written on the paper, "Va te faire foutre, toi Orlesian enculé!"

At that precise moment Kaylessa reappeared. Just as Roux pointed at her, the mage cast a cone of cold spell, freezing him in place. Fergus seized the General from behind and pressed his dagger against the man's throat.

Gabe snatched Roux's sword and drove it through the man's chest. "That was for Neil," he hissed.

"You got the tricky bastard part right, General," Fergus jeered into Bouvier's ear. "Now, tell your men to release that family."

"Why should I?"

"Because I know the importance that Orlesian warriors place on dying an honorable death . If I kill you here in cold blood on the eve of the battle, you will be considered a hero. But if I take you captive as a prisoner of war, and spread the rumor that you surrendered to me and that you begged me for your life, you, your family and your name will be forever disgraced."

"You won't make it out of camp alive with me!" Bouvier barked.

Fergus chuckled. "See, General, that is where you're wrong. You are surrounded by the Ferelden army. And unless they receive a signal from me, they are instructed to attack at first light. From the looks of the sky, I would say that should be any minute now."

Fergus held his breath and hoped the General wouldn't call his bluff.

Several minutes pasted in silence as they waited for the General's decision. Finally Fergus pressed the dagger hard against the man's throat and blood began to ooze out. "What's your decision? Honor or disgrace?"

The General cleared his throat and yelled, "Release the prisoners. We have what we need here!"

"Yes Ser," a guard yelled from outside just as the distinct sound of a Ferelden War horn rung out.

Fergus smiled and thanked the Maker. "Well, General, do you know what that sound is?"

The General shook his head.

"That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your defeat and the sound of your death."

True to his words, in one fluid movement, Fergus drew his blade across Bouvier's throat. When he landed on the ground, Fergus swung his sword down removing the General's head. Fergus grabbed the head by the hair and marched out of the tent to the crowd of soldiers that the war horns had drawn out. He held the General's head up and roared, "Your General is dead and you are surrounded. Lay down your weapons and surrender, or face the same fate as your leader!"

One by one, the Orlesian soldiers laid down their swords. Nate grabbed his war horn and blew it loudly to indicate to the Ferelden troops that this battle had been won without any Fereldan causalities. Except for poor Neil. Even though he could do nothing to ease their loss, Fergus would make sure that his family would be well taken care of.

Some time later, Captain Reynolds made his way to the center of camp. "Your Grace, I am glad to see you alive and well."

"Not nearly as glad as I am." Fergus chuckled.

The Captain grinned. "Of that I am sure. The camp is surrounded, I have our men gathering all of their weapons and securing the prisoners as best as we can. What are your orders?"

"Bring their officers to me so that they can be questioned, and then place them in the dungeons of all the local Banns. How many men do we have, Mal?"

"Close to five hundred," the Captain replied.

Fergus thought about it for a moment. With the Orlesian officers imprisoned and all of the soldiers disarmed, it wouldn't take many men to control them. He wasn't worried if a few of them escaped, unarmed on enemy soil they wouldn't get far. However, he needed to keep majority of the soldiers here. He didn't want them making their way to the main battle.

"Captain, how many men do you think you will need to keep the prisoners in line?"

The captain grinned. "To actually do the job, no more than seventy five men. But if the Orlesian soldiers figured out that we were so few, it wouldn't take them long to try and overrun us. However, since their camp is in this valley, giving them limited line of sight, I believe that with the help of some of the locals, we can create the illusion that there are more of us."

Fergus grinned back. "That is what I was hoping to hear. Prepare two hundred and fifty of your best men. They need to be ready to ride at noon. They will accompany me to aid the king in the battle outside Orzammar. I want you to lead a hundred and fifty men to Amaranthine and offer them aid."

"My pleasure, Your Grace. I was beginning to worry that I wasn't going to see any action in this supposed war."

Fergus laughed as he patted his Captain on the back. "Maker forbid I allow that to happen."

By midday, Fergus and the Wardens were heading towards the main battlefield. He just prayed they weren't too late.

**xxXxx**

Sabrina looked across the valley floor at the vast Orlesian army that spread out across the hillside. She drew in a deep breath. They easily outnumbered them three to one, but Sabrina refused to allow that to dissuade her. Where they had numbers, her men had sheer willpower and the desire to remain free. She would take that any day over hired soldiers. As Anders would be willingly attest to, the desire to remain free would always be much stronger and more powerful than the desire to conquer.

Tristen rode up beside her, took her hand and brought it to his lips, "You look tense, my love. Are you concentrating on the upcoming battle or how long we will be celebrating once we beat them?"

Sabrina grinned at him. "Well now that you mention it, I really should concentrate on the fun I'm going to have with you after the battle."

"Oh, then can we skip right to sexual fantasies. The deviant things your mind comes up with just makes me all happy inside. It's one of the many things I love about you."

"I've actually dreamed up a few new ones that I want to try out on you," Sabrina said with a wink.

Tristen looked around to make sure no one was in earshot, he leaned over and whispered, "Do any of those dreams involve doing it in front of the Orlesian Empress, 'cause I am really up for that. We could really boost morale."

Sabrina burst out laughing. "I would be worried about whose morale we would boost. Knowing Celene, she might actually take that as a peace offering and want to join in."

"If you weren't thinking about the battle or the celebration, what were you thinking about, love?"

"I'm working on my remarks, I have to send my men off with the flair and style they have become accustomed to," Sabrina cooed.

"If we are naming your characteristics, let's not forget the Commander's humility either." Zev chortled.

"And her meekness." Anders chuckled as he rode up beside them.

"Or her submissiveness," Jinxy added.

"Or her accuracy with a dagger," Sabrina stated dryly.

"Ouch... Kitty likes to scratch... I like it." Zev chuckled.

"That's one pussy you don't want to mess with," Anders observed.

"Or else you will face me," Tristen said matter-of-factly.

"Facing either one of you isn't high on my to-do list," Jinxy said.

Tristen squeezed Sabrina's hand one last time and grinned at her. "Give 'em hell."

She rode down the line soldiers as she yelled out, "Sons and daughters of Ferelden… My brothers and sisters, I see the fear in your eyes as you look out at the vast army before us. Fear is normal. If you weren't afraid I would be worried about your sanity. Courage is mastering your fear and channeling it to your advantage." She pointed at the Orlesian army gathered on the hillside. "They should fear us because we will fight to the death to keep what we have! They want to take your freedom, deny you your basic liberties and strip you of your independence. Will we allow them to dominate us?"

"Hell no!" her men yelled back at her.

"Today we fight for the freedom of your wife or husband! Today we fight for the independence of your children, your parents, your siblings! Today we fight for the liberty of all future Fereldan generations. By all you hold dear in the sight of the Maker, I bid you to stand with me today and fight for FREEDOM!"

"For Freedom!"

Sabrina rode back over to Tristen who was beaming at her. "Brilliant speech, love. That was so inspiring, I bet if the Orlesians heard that, they would lay down their weapons and declare you the new Empress. Now where can I find a brilliant speech writer like that?"

Sabrina punched his arm and was about to reply when the Ferelden war horn blew. Sabrina and Tristen led the charge down the hill and across the valley. As a solid line the Calvary crashed into the front line of the Orlesian army, crushing and trampling them, and drove the enemies back. Sabrina swung her sword on either side of her horse as she drove deep behind the enemy line. She leapt off her horse, while Tristen and Zev did the same and landed beside her. She quickly looked around and saw a large number of her men still on their horses and heard the warrior cries of the Fereldan army behind them. The three of them drew their blades and began cutting a path of destruction through the Orlesian army. Sabrina had one goal in mind: find that bitch of an Empress. She saw the Empress' banner flying further up the hill and began to work her way in that direction, slicing and cutting through the army, fighting two sometimes three soldiers at a time.

"Where the bloody hell is she heading?" Zev panted.

Tristen surveyed the direction of her current course and his eyes went wide when he realized who she was after. Zev followed Tristen's gaze. "Oh fuck… has she lost her mind? Even if the Empress is on the battlefield, she will be heavily guarded."

"I don't think that is going to slow her down. In her mind, capture the Empress… battle over," Tristen surmised.

Zev cocked an eyebrow as he jumped over the axe of a berserker and drove his dagger into the soldier's neck as he landed. "Hmm, well she has point. That would work."

Sabrina whirled through the battle in a deadly blur, twisting and turning as she sliced her way through the fight. Her arms were beginning to ache and throb when she felt the warmth of healing magic wash over her. She looked around for the source and spotted Anders about fifteen feet behind her. He smiled and waved at her like they were out for a morning stroll.

"Damn mage," she grunted. "He's going to get himself killed."

Just then a warrior lunged for him, but Anders used his staff as a weapon, slamming it against the warrior's head, driving him to the ground. Mari jumped onto the warrior's back, drove her blades into his back then leapt off and kissed her husband. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Mari has his stupid ass covered," Zev grunted.

Both the mage and the rogue skidded up to them grinning. "I haven't had this much fun since I took down the Arishok."

"That's my wife. She has a twisted definition of fun," Anders said.

"I couldn't get a normal mage to guard, could I? Nooooo, I had to get the most reckless mage in the history of Thedas. When we're done here, someone owes me a bottle of brandy," Jinxy huffed just as eight Orlesian warriors converged on the group. Anders was able to freeze three of them. Mari charged and knocked them over, driving her blades into their bodies. Jinxy leapt on the back of a soldier that was circling around the back of Anders and plunged her dagger into his neck. Zev and Sabrina came up behind two of them, slicing into their backs, while Tristen took care of the other two soldiers.

Sabrina pressed forward, edging ever closer toward the Empress. She was about halfway there when she heard a battle horn on the hilltop above her. She looked up and saw at least a hundred Legion of the Dead with Sigrun leading the charge. She grinned and yelled, "Y-essss! That's my girl."

The Legion surged down the hill, successfully flanking the Orlesian army and trapping the Empress. However, Sabrina's victory was short lived when she heard another war horn blow. This one was Orlesian and from the far side of the valley at least two hundred Orlesian soldiers emerged from the forest. They rushed toward the Fereldan army, hoping to catch them off guard and crush them.

"OH Shit!" She cried out as she changed course and headed toward the oncoming army. She jumped onto the back of an abandoned horse and charged toward her men. She raced through the battlefield, leaping over the bodies of the wounded, slicing her sword through the fighters that remained on their feet. She heard Tristen and Zev come up beside her.

"N-next time would you give us a minute to find a horse so that we can accompany you?" Tristen huffed as the wind beat in their faces.

"Sorry…I wasn't thinking," Sabrina replied. Sabrina heard the pounding of hooves; she turned in her saddle and saw at least a dozen of her men following behind her. They charged into the oncoming army, but without nearly as many men on horseback, the tactic wasn't as effective. They were quickly surrounded, Sabrina slashed and cut at the fighters that were encircled them. She felt two strong hands grip her waist and tear her off of her horse. The man threw her to the ground; he brought up his sword and drove it toward her. She blocked the blade with her sword and rolled to the side. However, before she could scramble to her feet, the warrior sprung at her, but was frozen in mid-stride; Sabrina pulled her sword up and drove it into the man's stomach. The warrior crumbled to the ground. Tristen stretched out his hand and helped her to her feet.

She glanced around realized they were surrounded. Sabrina, Tristen, Zev, Anders, Mari, and Jinxy formed a circle with their backs to each other so that they couldn't be flanked from behind. The Orlesian soldiers advanced on them and the Fereldans fought three and four men at a time, but exhaustion was setting in. Even with Anders casting healing and stamina spells, their endurance began to fade and Sabrina didn't know how much longer they could keep up this pace. Beside her, she felt Tristen get knocked to the ground with a very large gash to his head, blood was pouring out and making it difficult for him to see. As a large fighter rushed him, Sabrina leapt protectively in front of her husband with a feral look in her eyes.

The soldier sneered at her. "Aaah, the Fereldan bitch trying to save her man. Come here little pussy, I have something to tame you with." The warrior gestured toward his groin and the men around him laughed.

Sabrina tilted her head slightly, smiled, and cooed, "Please pull it out for me. It will make it so much easier for me when I permanently remove it from your body."

Before the warrior could even respond, Sabrina disappeared into the shadows and reappeared behind him with Zev at her side. Zev stabbed him in the side as Sabrina jumped onto the man's back and sliced his throat open. The warrior fell to the ground as Zev and Sabrina spun to face the oncoming soldiers. Anders cast a repulsion glyph around Tristen and then a healing spell. Tristen struggled to get to his feet, but found the strength to hold his sword and shield.

The advancing fighters were just about to surge forward when another war horn blew. This time it was Fereldan. Everyone's head spun to the top of the hill, a huge grin spread across Sabrina's face. They were going to win! On the ridge of the hilltop flew the Highever flag with the King's standard next to it. In the sunlight, Sabrina could see Alistair sitting high in his saddle, surrounded by an army of Dalish Elves.

All around them the Orlesians began to mumble, "Is that King Alistair?" "I thought he was dead!"

A loud cheer went up from the Fereldan army as they recognized the King's coat of arms. The Fereldan war horn sounded again, and Alistair led the charge down the hill to defend his country.

**A/N – Here is your daily French lesson. Foutre moi - French for, Fuck me****, Fils de salope - French for, Son of Bitch**, **Va te faire foutre, toi Orlesian enculé - French for, Go fuck yourself, you Orlesian bastard!**

***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. Please continue to share your thoughts with me. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments**

***Huge thanks and hugs to my asstastic beta and friend, Jinxy. Thank you for always being there, for being so supportive and for being fanfreckintastic friend. You rock!**

***A huge thank you to the betalicious Pinoko K for being a guest beta on this chapter. You're an awesome beta, you tell it like it is and I love that about you. Thank you so much for help.**


	23. Chapter 23 Good Riddance

**Chapter 23**

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind

Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life."

_Good Riddance by Green Day_

Alistair stared down at the battle raging below. The Fereldans were severely out-manned, but they still fought with the strong resolve that they were known for. There was a small group of warriors that were surrounded and outnumbered, but still managed to win the skirmish. Alistair knew that was where Sabrina and Tristen were.

Fergus' horse came up beside him. "Well, that looks like one hell of battle. Ready to join the fight, Your Majesty?"

Alistair grinned at him. "It's been years since I've been involved in a life or death fight. I've kinda missed it." Alistair turned to his men. "Sound the battle horn."

The horn sounded, and the battle below came to a complete halt. Once recognition of the royal standard dawned on those below, a loud cheer went up. Alistair led the charge heading directly for Tristen and Sabrina. Alistair and Fergus surged through the throng of Orlesian soldiers, cutting a path to his brother and eliminating a large number of the enemy soldiers in the process. The Orlesian soldiers were starting to panic and pull back to protect the Empress.

Tristen had disposed of a nearby soldier just as Alistair rode up to them.

"Aaah, perfect timing as always my King," Zev said coolly.

"Better late than never; besides, you know the king has to make a fashionable appearance." Alistair chuckled as he looked pointedly at Sabrina. "I was about to visit Celene and I thought you might want to join me," he said as he stretched out his hand toward her.

"I thought you would never ask," Sabrina replied as she made her way over to his horse and clasped his hand. Tristen cupped his hands together and lifted her up behind Alistair.

Fergus extended his hand toward Tristen. "I'm sure you will want to join your wife and brother."

"Hell yeah," Tristen said as he grabbed Fergus' hand, and Anders helped him onto the horse.

"Hey, don't worry about us. We really have no desire to see Alistair or Sabrina kick that whore's ass anyway," Anders grumbled.

"You can always run after us. You might just be in time to see the killing blow, if you're lucky."

"Or I could just freeze your ass and give us a head start," Anders replied.

"Better hope your fingers are quicker than my blade," Tristen retorted.

"Good thing I'm light on my feet, I'll probably beat you there, my dear. I'll keep her warm for you." Zev chortled.

"Please do. You know how a cold woman gives me chills," Alistair said.

Anders leaned over and whispered to Nate, "Then how has he managed to remain married to Anora all these years."

"I heard that mage," Alistair said.

Gabe and Kaylessa rode up to the group just as Alistair snapped his reins and kicked his horse, urging it forward.

Kaylessa extended her hand toward the assassin. "I know you hate going into any battle without being by her side."

Zev grasped the mage's hand,and gracefully leapt onto the back of her horse without any assistance. "Not only beautiful, but observant and wise; Gabe is a lucky man."

Kaylessa urged her horse forward until they were in a full gallop, directly behind the king as they raced down the valley toward the hill that had the Empress' standard.

As Alistair drove the horse forward, Sabrina slashed at the soldiers. When they were about halfway up the hillside, Sabrina yelled, "Slow down!"

"What? Why?" Alistair asked even as he pulled back on the reins.

"Don't worry about it, Alistair. I'll meet you there," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"Good luck!" she exclaimed as she leapt off the horse and disappeared into the shadows.

Alistair looked up at Tristen who just shrugged his shoulders. Alistair's eyes narrowed. "She's your wife!"

"What does that have to do with anything? I haven't been able to control her since the day I met her."

"Thank you for the ride, my lovely mage, but this is where I must make my exit," Zev said as he slid off of his horse and disappeared into the shadows with Sabrina.

Alistair continued to charge forward. As they neared the royal standard, the more guards they encountered, forcing them to abandon their horses and fight their way uphill toward the Empress. Alistair saw Celene standing behind at least half a dozen soldiers, dressed in royal battle armor with her swords drawn. Alistair had to admit, she was a feisty little bitch. There were very few women of royalty that would stand on an open battlefield with her men…. Actually there was only one other woman he knew of, that if she had been the Queen of Ferelden, she would be fighting alongside her men. And as luck would have it, she was on this field of battle, just not as his queen.

Celene heard the commotion of Alistair's approach as his men led the charge in front of him . Her eyes locked on his as she gave him a malicious grin, silently baiting him to come to her. Alistair sliced his way through a dozen men as he made his way toward his final destination. He was so focused on his goal that when he was within ten feet of her, he hadn't even seen or heard the Orlesian guardsmen had outflanked him until he felt the blade pressed against his throat. Everyone on the field instantly became immobilized; the Fereldan soldiers with fear and the Orlesian with breathless anticipation.

A triumphant sneer spread across Celene's face as she stepped forward through her guard to approach Alistair, her eyes glistened jubilantly. "Aaah, Alistair. How sad for you? To have come so close to victory only to be defeated at the last moment; your father would be so disappointed in you. He worked so hard to free his country, only to have his bastard son destroy all of his hard work."

"Well, aren't you the overconfident Orlesian as always? Do you think you can get to me by shoving Maric's legend in my face? Even if you kill me now, the Theirin line is secure, and an Orlesian whore such as yourself will never hold the throne long. The Fereldan people won't stand for it."

"Tisk, tisk, my dear Empress, someone really should have been more thorough in their research of the King. Maric means nothing to him, and everyone who knows him knows that," Tristen said with a grin as he felt someone in the shadows slip by him and whispered, "Keep her talking."

"And aren't you the cocky little Fereldan who thinks I would come to this backward country without having a few tricks up my sleeve. It is you who should have done more research," Celene retorted.

Tristen raised his eyebrows. "And what research would that be? From what I've seen so far, I'm not real impressed with your research team."

"You ride alone, Prince Theirin. I do believe my informants have said that you never enter a battle without your wife by your side, unless she is injured... or dead," Celene said as she threw a bloody sword down at the Theirin brothers' feet. The sword was the one that Sabrina's father had given her after she defeated Fergus in their infamous sparring match. The engraving along the blade that Tristen had added read, _The Song of Brin._

In the distance, Alistair heard the anguished cry of a brother grieving the death of a sibling. Alistair glanced over at Tristen, hoping for a sign that this was a part of some elaborate plan, but his brother was stone faced, emotionless, and completely unreadable.

Alistair's heart sank. Sabrina never went into battle without that sword and its matching dagger. He tried to think back to what she was carrying when he pulled her onto the back of his horse. He remembered seeing the dagger, _Thorn of Brin_, but couldn't recall which sword she carried. She couldn't be dead; not Bree, not his Bree…she was invincible.

Alistair was about to give an angry retort when Celene's eyes widened with fear as Sabrina materialized behind the Empress with her dagger pressed hard against the Empress' throat, enough to have blood begin to trickle down her neck. Relief flooded Alistair.

"If you had done your research properly, bitch, you would have made sure I was actually dead and not have taken the word of a well paid turncoat. I do believe your mistake is now coming back to bite you in the ass," Sabrina hissed.

"Your reputation doesn't do you justice, Commander," Celene murmured.

"An Archdemon couldn't kill her. What made you think you had a chance?" Alistair jeered.

"Yes, I tend to like it when my enemies underestimate me...works well to my advantage."

"If you had been smart Empress, Bree would have been your first target," Nate mocked as he, Tess, Anders and Mari joined the group that gathered around the two rulers who were being held hostage.

Tristen leaned over and whispered in Anders' ear, "And you were worried you were going to miss all the fun."

"Its times like this that I wish Varric were here; he would have loved to make a legend out of this stand-off. You still have to fill me in on what happened so far. It seems I have missed quite a bit. How in Maker's sweaty balls did the two sovereigns end up in this predicament?"

"I'll gladly fill you in over a pint once we get Alistair out of this quandary," Tristen replied.

"I'm sure your wife has something up her proverbial sleeve."

As if taking a cue from the mage, Sabrina pressed her dagger even harder against Celene's throat, causing the gash to open further and the Empress to cry out in pain. Her guards all raised their swords and pointed them at Alistair, forcing the Fereldan soldiers to respond in kind by raising their swords toward Celene while Nate aimed an arrow at the Empress' chest. Six Orlesian archers began to bring their bows up to take aim at Alistair when Anders and Kaylessa froze them in place. "Now, I do believe we have a Nevarran standoff," Sabrina hissed.

"Yes, my dear Commander, I do believe you are correct. So the question is, how do we resolve this stalemate?" the Empress asked calmly.

"Well, I've already solved that problem," Sabrina replied coolly.

"Oh and how is that?" Celene asked evenly.

"I never come to a knife fight without an extra pair of blades." The words were barely out of her mouth when Zev appeared beside the guard that held Alistair. The assassin pulled and twisted the guard's arm away from the King's throat as he drove the dagger into the man's side. The soldier crumbled to the ground.

Celene's eyes widened in horror as she watched her guardsmen fall and a wicked grin spread across Sabrina's face as she sneered, "I should gut you from navel to sternum for killing a member of the Three, attempting to assassinate my King and Queen, and then invading my country…"

"Sabrina, NO!" Alistair bellowed.

Shocked, Sabrina stopped and looked at Alistair. "Do you want to do the honors of taking her life?"

Alistair marched forward and glared at the Orlesian Empress. "You invaded my homeland and therefore, I have every right to end your life on this battlefield, but you are more valuable to me as my prisoner then as a corpse. I do believe once I present the Divine with all of the evidence against you, the Chantry will have a more fitting punishment for you then even I could dream up. It is my understanding that Divine Justinia doesn't like to be betrayed by those she calls friends. She tends to take that rather personally."

"Alistair, NO! Please end my life now," Celene begged.

"I'm sorry, but my compassion and forgiveness ended when you attempted to kill my wife and threatened my family. Any mercy I would have shown you was crushed when I gazed upon this valley floor and saw the grass stained with the blood of my fellow countrymen who gave their lives trying to stop you. The Maker may have mercy on you, but the only thing you will receive from me is vengeance for the senseless deaths of these Fereldans. I will enjoy personally presenting the Divine with evidence of your involvement in the death of Knight-Vigilant Cullen, and the assassination attempts of Grand Enchanter Anders, First Seeker Leliana, and the King and Queen of Ferelden," Alistair said with a cold and implacable tone.

Then Alistair stood straight and took on the persona of the powerful ruling sovereign that he was. "Brother, please secure the Empress and her general for transportation back to Denerim. Do not take any chances with their safety nor underestimate their ability to gather support even though they are currently our prisoners."

Tristen bowed a low bow. "Yes, Your Majesty."

As Tristen turned to leave he poignantly looked at Fergus, grinned and mouthed, "I win." Alistair's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, but he other pressing matters to attend to. He would have to remember to ask his brother what he won once things calmed down.

Alistair turned to Sabrina. "General, can you oversee the apprehension all of the Orlesian soldiers, relinquish them of their weapons and escort them back to their ships."

Sabrina smiled then bowed, "It would be my honor, my King."

"Fergus, until we have fully negotiated a treaty, their officers will remain guests in Ferelden as prisoners of war. I need you to work with all of the Banns to find secure accommodations for them."

Fergus bowed. "Of course, Your Majesty."

Over the next six months, Alistair, Sabrina, and Tristen worked diligently to restore peace and order to Ferelden. Once peace and unity had been reestablished within the realm and the allegiance and faith of the people to the throne had been rekindled, Alistair, accompanied by Tristen and Teagan, escorted Celene back to Val Royeaux to meet with Divine Justinia and present the condemning evidence against the Empress.

When they docked in Val Royeaux the crowds that accosted their ship were hostile and belligerent, however not against Alistair or Ferelden, but against the woman that had brought shame to their proud nation. Celene's brother, Gervaise, greeted them as they disembarked and provided a security detail to escort them safely back the royal palce. Gervaise had been named Regent until Celene was judged for her crimes against the Chantry and Orlais.

It was with a heavy heart that Alistair presented the Divine with evidence of Celene's crimes; to say that Justinia was distressed by the overwhelming proof of her friend and sovereign's betrayal would be an understatement, however her judgment was swift and harsh, condemning the Empress to spend the rest of her life in a remote and distant Chantry. Years later, rumors would circulate that the ex-Empress now had a distant stare and spoke in a monotone voice. Alistair wasn't sure how much credibility to give those rumors, and Leliana would never confirm or deny their validity.

With Celene's removal from the throne, Gervaise was named Emperor. Alistair, Tristen, and Teagan spent several weeks with him, negotiating the peace treaty and the restitution that Orlais would pay Ferelden for the invasion of their country. Alistair had every intention of matching those funds to pay the families that had lost loved ones in that battle. After weeks of discussions, a settlement was reached, and Alistair had never been happier to board a ship back to Ferelden.

Now in a room filled with nobles, assembled to celebrate their freedom and to honor those who led the charge for independence, Alistair's eyes filled with tears as he looked down to the bottom of the dais at the woman and man that knelt before him. His emotions for this couple overwhelmed him, and for once he was at a loss for words. He loved both of them deeply, and he thanked the Maker everyday for bringing these two precious souls into his life. They had once again saved not only Ferelden, but his life and the lives of his entire family. He would forever be in their debt. He looked over at his wife who held their newborn daughter, and his son who clung to her leg. He glanced down once again at his brother and his best friend. He finally had the family that he had always wanted and dreamed of.

Life was good!

**A/N -** ***I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. Please continue to share your thoughts with me, I love hearing from you. **

***Huge thanks and hugs to my spankalicious beta and friend, Jinxy. Thank you for always being there, for being so supportive and for being fanfreckintastic friend. You rock!**

***A huge thank you to the betalicious Pinoko K for being a guest beta on this chapter and bringing her insight and fantabulous editing skills to this chapter. You rock, sista!**


	24. Chapter 24 Whenever You Remember

**Epilogue**

"When you think back on all we've done, I hope you're proud  
When you look back and see how far we've come  
It was our time to shine, and nobody could hold us down  
They thought they'd see us fall, but we, we stood so tall, and no we won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by, remember how we held our heads so high  
When all this world was there for us, and we believed that we could touch the sky, whenever you remember, I'll be there,

Remember how we reached that dream together, whenever you remember,we claimed the brightest star, and we came so far  
You know that we, we showed them all, and no they won't forget"

_Whenever You Remember by Carrie Underwood_

Anders and Sabrina rode in silence as they headed to Highever Castle. It was normally Zev that accompanied her on these trips, but the assassin had been unavailable for the past mouth, ever since he had begun his torrid affair with the new Bann in Amaranthine. He was actually glad Zev was too busy shagging the Bann to go with Sabrina to visit her brother and his family. He had wanted to talk with her for a while now. He had sensed in her blood that the dreams had returned and that it wouldn't be long before she made her final journey into the Deep Roads. From all the times that he had healed her, he knew her blood very well and he had probably sensed her blood becoming corrupt long the dreams had even returned.

It had been the same thing, five years earlier when Tristen received his calling. Anders knew what was coming several months before the onslaught of dreams had begun, and he had watched in agony as the couple that he had come to greatly admire, began their final journey together. They had handled it with the grace and poise that the Arl and Arlessa had become known for, but the knowledge that one day, both he and Mari would walk that same path was a painful reminder of the years that were being robbed from both of them.

"So, when were you planning on telling me about the dreams?" Anders asked.

Sabrina's head whipped around to look at him with a stunned expression and she just shook her head. "You know, it's kind of creepy when you do that."

"Well, I've been waiting for you to say something for several months now, but you have remained silent on the issue. So before you decided to sneak off in the middle of the night without so much as a good-bye, I wanted to let you know that I'm onto you."

"I wouldn't do that. I can't do that even if I wanted to. I have too many responsibilities and I have to make preparations for my departure."

"You would if you could," Anders replied.

She grinned at him, "You know me well, my dear friend."

"That I do. So, this trip to see Fergus, is it to let him know that you will be heading to the Deep Roads soon?" Anders asked.

"NO! That trip is still months away. This surprise trip is just to visit and enjoy my family without them looking at me as if I just received a death sentence. So don't you even so much as drop a hint. Do you hear me Anders? Grand First Enchanter or not, I will kick your ass."

Anders laughed. "I'd like to see you try."

"If I recall our sparing record is seven to four, so you better get on a hot streak real soon if you hope to overcome that deficit."

"I see you forgot about the time I froze you in place and ran circles around you," Anders chuckled.

"Oh, I counted that cheap shot into your fourth."

"The other Wardens found that hilarious, it was as if you were instantly turned into Anora, but instead of Ice-Queen, you were the Arlessa on Ice."

"Yes, they all found it hilarious until Tristen knocked you on your ass and told you to watch your manners."

"And I didn't ever see it coming until he was right on top of me. I would really suck as a rogue," Anders said with a sigh.

"Maker, I miss that man."

"He really was one of a kind… as are you."

Sabrina looked over at him a smiled. "Now don't start getting all mushy on me. We have months for you to find the most horrific ways possible to embarrass me before I make this last journey and I'm sure Zev and Nate will want to help with the embarrassing part too."

"I'm only getting mushy to distract your attention from my nefarious plans, but once again I have failed… miserably."

"I'm onto you, Anders."

"Just don't let Mari hear you say that, she might get the wrong idea," Anders chuckled.

"In your dreams, Sparky."

"Yes, there was a time that was a dream, but you have only had room in your heart for two men. The rest of us are just your toy play soldiers."

"It was fun watching all of you ask how high when I said jump... you know Anders, all of you have a special place in my heart. You all are family to me, you and Mari in particular. I have had the privilege of being Jax and Jai's guardian and their substitute aunt."

"You really mean a lot to them and they love you dearly. I just can't help but chuckle at the thought of them having you wrapped around their little fingers," Anders has he thought back on the memories of all the times that both Tristen and Sabrina had spent with his children – entertaining, teaching and instructing them.

"You and Mari have done a wonderful job at raising them. I remember Jai as a little girl in your arms, as you taught her how to cast spells, while Mari trained Jax in the ring."

"Those were good times. You had a lot to do with that as well. Don't think for one minute I'm going to let you forget that," Anders stated.

"It was a pleasure being a part of their lives. I do have to admit, Anders, I was very impressed with how well you handled Stefan's interest in Jai," Sabrina noted.

"I obviously didn't handle it too well or else Jai would be accompanying us on this trip, but I have to admit she could do a lot worse than marry a Cousland."

"It's a little early to talk about marriage, they are only sixteen. However, at the mere mention of Stefan's name, her eyes take on this dark, haughty look. It's the same look I've seen in her father's eyes whenever someone mentions his wife's name."

"Maker, help me then, and please give me the strength not to kill the Cousland boy."

Sabrina chuckled. "I do believe my brother will be very put out with you if you kill his son."

"Yes, and the last thing we want is a put out Teyrn," Anders said dryly.

"I still can't decide who she gets her naughty streak from. Both you and Mari are _quite_ adventurous by nature."

"Oh, she gets all of her charm from me. Jax on the other hand gets his dry wit and sarcasm from Mari."

"She did have most of the Silver Order under her thumb before she even knew what she was doing," Sabrina observed.

Anders laughed. "Yep, you just can't teach that kind of charisma - either you have or you don't. Both Jai and I have it."

"I highly doubt Jai has her father's ego, but I agree with you on her having charisma. You are a wonderful father, Anders. Your children are blessed to have you in their lives." A wicked grin spread across her face, "Would you like me to recount all the things that Nate and I were doing when I was sixteen?"

"Maker, NO! Why would I want to know about you and Nate?"

She continued to grin at him impishly, "Because I was sixteen when Nate and I spent an entire summer getting thoroughly acquainted with each other's bodies."

"Andraste's ass on a cracker, Bree! Do you really want me to go and un-man that Cousland boy?"

Still grinning Sabrina said, "Do I need to remind you that the Cousland boy is my nephew and if you harm a hair on his handsome head, you'll answer to me?"

"Then stop giving me reasons to want to do him grievous bodily harm. You wicked, wicked woman!"

"Look at it this way Anders, you are so quick to say that Jai has all of your charm and charisma... how were you using all of that magnetism and allure at sixteen?" She asked as her roguish grin spread even further across her face, as she utterly enjoyed teasing her favorite mage.

Anders looked pensive for a few seconds, then let out a groan, "Oh No! I really hope she doesn't do any of those things."

Sabrina burst out laughing, "Daughter, like father."

"I think I'm gonna gag. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Oh, I've only just begun to pay you back."

"Pay me back? For what?"

"Payback for all the farewells and tributes that I know you, Zev and Nate will dream up; I will pay all of you back before I head into those Deep Roads."

"So that was your plan all along? Good to know. You shouldn't have told me, because I'll be on the lookout for you now, and if you want to play that way, I'm going to make it extra rough on you."

"Just the way I like it. Rough, tough and always begging for more. You know me so well."

"Who wouldn't know... shit, you and Tristen kept the Keep up half the night breaking shit and slamming into walls, and Maker don't even get me started on the screaming and groaning."

"By the amount of chatter that went on about it, I'd say you all were either jealous or it got you all excited. Either way, it was a win, win situation for me and Tristen," she countered, and continued after a brief moment, "We did have you and Mari as our competition. You weren't very quiet either. Not to mention I had to replace your bed a few times, Mister Rough and Ready Mage. And I do recall several of the servants commenting on ropes being tied around the bedpost. Did Mistress Mari give you a safe word too?"

"Safety words are for sissy."

Sabrina just gave him a knowing grin, but remained quiet. They rode the rest of the way in silence, each lost in their thoughts. When they rode into the courtyard, they were greeted by not only Fergus and Anna, but by Alistair too. Anders leaned over and whispered, "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Damned if I know."

The groomsmen raced up to her and took her reins. "I wasn't expecting such a formal greeting, let alone a royal one," Sabrina said with a grin as she slid off of her horse.

Fergus pulled her into a big bear hug, "Well I wasn't expecting you at all. If one of the Banns hadn't recognized you and sent word, you would have completely caught me off guard, but this is a wonderful surprise."

Sabrina returned the hug just as enthusiastically, "Well, I hope it isn't too much of an inconvenience."

"My dear sister, you are never an inconvenience," Fergus said as he kissed her forehead.

Alistair step forward and tenderly embraced Sabrina. "It's good to see you, Bree."

"You too, Alistair. What brings you to this part of Ferelden?"

"Your brother and I are just working on some contract issues," Alistair said.

Sabrina's eyes furrowed. "The only kind of contract issues a King and Teyrn would be working on is a marriage contract, and I know dear brother, that you wouldn't do that, because it would go against everything our parents taught us."

"It's not like that, Bree," Alistair said defensively.

"It's not! So your saying that one of my nephews or my niece has already fallen in love the either the prince or princess?"

"Do we have to discuss this here? Let's go into my study where there's more privacy," Fergus said.

"Fine," Sabrina said as she marched into the castle.

"The way she is acting, you would think we are discussing her children," Alistair whispered.

"I heard that, _Your Majesty,"_ Sabrina jeered.

They walked into Fergus' study. Fergus closed the doors and poured them a glass of brandy. Sabrina glared at him. "A marriage contract! Really Fergus! Have you forgotten everything our parents stood for?"

Fergus smiled at his sister. "Bree, I have not forgotten everything our parents taught us and you know me well enough to know that I would never force one of children into a marriage that they didn't want. You know that the Theirin and Cousland children have grown up together. They know each other very well…"

"Who are we talking about?" Sabrina asked.

"Sawyer and Gracie," Alistair stated.

"Sawyer is only eighteen. He's so young," Sabrina whispered.

"We were nineteen when we fell in love, Bree," Alistair said tenderly. She looked up at him stunned and taken aback by his remark.

"Yes, I know… it's just that was different," she said.

"How? How is it different?" Alistair asked.

"We were thrown into circumstances beyond our control..."

Alistair stood up, walked over to her and took her hand, "And are you saying if we had met under different circumstances we wouldn't have fallen in love?"

"No, I'm not saying that, but this is about them, not us."

"It's about two people falling in love," Alistair said as he continued to stare at her making her heart flutter and making her nervous.

She pulled back her hand. "A-and" she coughed to clear her throat. "And are they in love?"

"Do you honestly think I would be here if they weren't, Bree?"

"But, Alistair, Gracie is only sixteen?"

"I'm not sending out the wedding announcements tomorrow. This is just preliminary discussions so that if they continue down the path that they seem to be taking, that a lot of the major issues have already been discussed."

Sabrina thought about the conversation that she had just had with Anders, and now Alistair and Fergus in marriage talks for their children she found solace in it. Even though the dreams were back, it was comforting to see that life went on. She thought about bringing up what she was doing with Nate at sixteen, just to see Alistair's reaction, but he wasn't as calm about those things as Anders. Plus it would be completely inappropriate to bring that up about the King's daughter, but she couldn't suppress the impish grin, as she saw all the color drain from his face.

"What?" Alistair asked.

"Oh, nothing," Sabrina said casually.

"That is not a causal grin, that is mischievous grin if I've ever seen one," Alistair replied.

Sabrina just continued to smile and Fergus immediately recognized the roguish glint in her eyes. "I do believe you don't want to press her on this issue, Alistair. You might not like what you hear."

Sabrina saw the curiosity dancing in his eyes so she just continued to grin at him.

"You can't smile at me like that and then not tell me what you're thinking. It's just cruel," Alistair stated.

"How long are you here for, Alistair?" Sabrina asked.

"For about five days."

"Well, maybe while you're here, and we are wondering around the grounds, I'll do a little reminiscing with you," Sabrina replied as she winked at Fergus.

Her brother chuckled. "Maker help you, Alistair."

Over the next several days, Sabrina spent most of the time enjoying Alistair's company, relaxing in comfort of their friendship, and as tempting as it was to tease Alistair about her promiscuous youth, she decided that the overly protective father didn't need more grey hairs added to his head.

On their last night at Highever, after the kids had gone to bed, Sabrina, Fergus, Alistair and Anders gathered in Fergus' private study for a glass of brandy. However, with the Teyrn and his sister that normally tended to be an entire bottle. The four of them reminisced and shared stories about their colorful past. When the bottle was nearly gone, Anders thought now would be the best time to broach the subject.

"So, Fergus, when are you going to tell me how Bree got the nickname Bean?" Anders inquired.

Sabrina's face went white as a sheet and she glared at Anders who couldn't help, but grin back at her. "Well, as entertaining as that story is, I'm kind of held hostage against telling, due to incriminating evidence my sister is holding over me."

"Oh, come on, how bad can it be all these years later?" Alistair coerced.

Fergus looked over at Sabrina. She grinned at him, "You're free to tell the story, Fergus, as long as you realize I will share your story too."

"Oh, what the hell, that was years ago," Fergus said as he stood up to refresh their glasses. "Growing up, Bean had an on growing rivalry with a local noble boy named, Channing. The two of them were always playing pranks on each other and trying to best the other's practical jokes. So this one time, as Bree convinced Channing to go horseback riding with her. Now, Channing was not nearly as competent a rider as my sister, although his foolish pride would never allow him to admit such a thing. If he had, he might not have headed down the dark narrow path that Sabrina had led him. In the middle of the lane was a large puddle that looked rather deep. Unbeknownst to Channing, Bree had filled the puddle with cow and horse manure. When they came to the large puddle, Sabrina had effortlessly jumped it. Channing on the other hand hesitated as he looked for another way around, but the path was lined with trees and there really was no other way across. Channing backed up to make the jump. As he urged his horse into a canter, at the last minute he panicked and pulled back on the reins. The horse bucked and threw Channing forward, head first into shit infested muck."

Both Alistair and Anders burst into laughter. "Way to go, Bree," Anders chuckled. "Serves him right."

"Poor Channing had to ride all the way home covered in shit and reeking to high hell. Unfortunately he had to travel through the village. I've heard accounts for some of the locals that said they could smell him coming a mile away and it took days for the stench to clear out."

"Well Channing was no one's fool, and he waited six months to enact his revenge. He waited until after the Fall Festival. Then he had his cook make sweet cakes laced with extra bean powder. He sent them to Bree, wrapped in a beautiful box. It was addressed, _To the most beautiful girl at the Festival. _ The note then contained a love poem and it was signed by _Your loving secret admire."_ Fergus had to pause and collect himself from the fits of laughter he was struggling to control "Bean ate the whole box b-by herself. The bean powder was so powerful and long lasting, that poor Bree passed g-gas for an entire week straight, stinking up the entire castle."

Alistair and Anders were laughing so hard, tears were rolling down their cheeks.

The laughter was contagious and Sabrina joined in as she added, "A-at least you didn't have to sleep with me. I would wake myself in the middle of the night from the noise and smell."

At that revelation, all of them burst out into fits of laughter again. Once the laughter died down, Anders looked at Sabrina, "Would you care to demonstrate that for us, Commander?"

Fergus feigned horror, "Are you crazy, Anders? I have young children here that could be scarred forever."

"Well, if we ever go to war again, I can just use your arse as my secret weapon," Alistair chuckled.

"Hey now! My arse is somewhat of a legend now, so you'll have to pay for that honor!"

"Well, they say a good piece of ass is never free," Alistair snickered.

"You can't have my arse for all the coin in the royal coffers,"

"How about for all the ale in Orzammar?"

"Hell no!"

"How about all the brandy in Antiva?"

"Hmmm, well maybe then," Sabrina chuckled as she stood up, grabbed a new brandy bottle and refreshed everyone's drink. "Well I do believe it's my turn to tell a story." She paused and grinned at Fergus, who squirmed nervously in his chair.

"Well, Nate and Fergus are close to the same age and grew up as close friends. When Nate was informed by his father that he was being sent to the Free Marches, Fergus decided to accompany him, but the two decided to take a detour before they went to Kirkwall by way of a boat, that took them to Antiva City and One Eyed Jacks."

"That's a hell of detour," Anders mused.

"Yes, but we had heard that the brothel would be worth the trip and the anger incurred by Nate's father," Fergus explained.

"So, from my understanding, at this particular brothel, the girls put on a little show for each of the potential clients before the men pick who they want to 'entertain' them for the night. Now the 'show room' was surrounded by a dozen doors that lead to private bedrooms where the real entertaining took place. Both Nate and Fergus were in the show room, seated on a sofa. A husband and wife were seated on another sofa watching the show, when one of the private bedroom doors burst open and naked man with a full erection staggered out, grasping his chest. The man stumbled across the floor and collapsed dead into Nate and Fergus' lap, with his erection pointing straight up at them. They were both so horrified that they couldn't even think about being 'entertained' that night and I do believe they got on a ship the next day heading for Kirkwall."

Again, Alistair and Anders were in tears from laughing so hard. "H-how did you find this out? I doubt your brother or Nate offered up that information." Anders asked.

"That couple that was in the show room with them, was Isabela and her husband," Sabrina said.

Anders burst out laughing again, "Oh, that makes it even better."

Alistair was wiping the tears from his eyes, "Oh, Maker, I wish Tristen had heard those stories."

Fergus grinned, "He did. I had bet with him and if I lost I had to tell him both stories."

All three of them stared at him, stunned. "What was the bet?" Alistair asked.

"I foolishly bet that Alistair would be the one to capture Empress Celene on the battlefield. Tristen insisted that as long as his wife had breath in her lungs, she would beat Alistair there."

Sabrina looked as if someone had hit her. "H-he never once even hinted that he knew either one of those stories."

"It would have gone against his character if he had," Fergus said.

Sabrina raised her glass, "To Tristen!" They all echoed her words as the clinked their glasses against hers.

That trip to Highever had been over nine months ago. Anders had watched as Sabrina fought the corruption with every ounce of her strength, but in the end, distorted blood that ran through her veins had won the fight. On the night before she was to leave for Highever to say good-bye to her family, he had stood in the back of the grand hall and he watched her Wardens honor her by placing their favorite weapon before her. She had been moved to tears by the gesture and for once had been at a complete loss for words.

Nate had begun the tribute by placing his favorite dagger, a dagger that she had given him, in front of her. Anders had been next; he had barely managed to place his staff in front of her before turning away to hide the tears. He was losing his best friend… no she was more than that to him, she was his family… the sister he had never had, but always wanted. Her loyalty and faith in him had never wavered. She had fought to save him from Justice, she protected him from every templar mage hunter that came after him, and she supported him as he and Mari had diligently worked to establish the Chantry School of Magical Instruction and Education throughout Thedas. All of those things would have earned his respect and loyalty, but what earned his love was her unwavering and steadfast commitment to Tristen, Zev, Nate, Tess, Oghren, Gabe, Kaylessa, Neira, Sigrun and himself. That core group of Wardens that had been with her since the very beginning were her family and to Sabrina Cousland family was everything. She fought for them, bled for them and if necessary she would die for them.

From those humble beginnings, Sabrina had grown their Order to almost two hundred wardens; all of whom were fiercely loyal to their commander, but who for the most part, remained a mystery to them. She earned their respect, fidelity and devotion through her extremely capable and proficient skills a as leader, but few of them truly knew Bree Cousland. They had all heard the stories of her courage, her valor and her remarkable fighting skills. They knew the legends to be true when they witnessed for themselves, her amazing aptitude to wield a blade during battle, but only a handful of Wardens could call her friend, and even fewer, sister.

Ever since the Deep Roads expedition where Sabrina had chosen to save the life of her warden, her friend, over the mission, her leadership style had changed. When they had returned to the Keep, Anders along with Tristen, Zev, and Nate had confronted her about the decision to place Neria's life above their duty, but in the end, it really hadn't been much of an altercation at all. Being the analytical person that Sabrina was, she had already scrutinized the situation thoroughly and she freely admitted that she was wrong, but she also confessed that if placed in the same situation, she would make the same decision. That was when she consciously decided that, in order to properly lead, she couldn't be friends with her wardens. As Commander, she held the lives of many in her hands; she had to logically assess each situation, make decisions that were rational and what was best for the whole not the individual parts. Her decisions would place the lives of her in grave danger at times, and they needed to be made wisely and without emotions.

Even though her leadership style changed, she always remained friendly with those that fell under her command, she trained with them, evaluated them, coached them and she would even share a pint or two with them, but then she would take her leave so that they could gossip and tell wild tales without the fear of offending their fierce leader. On those nights that she left the Wardens to their frivolity, her personal companions would join her one by one in her study, where she would let down her guard and become the real Sabrina they loved.

Being the stubborn woman that she was, Sabrina had insisted on making this last journey by herself. However, those who loved her dearly, who had stood by her side from the very beginning, refused to allow her to make this last journey completely alone. It had been an unexpected yet completely fitting surprise when Anders had seen that Alistair was with her when she arrived in Orzammar. Anders knew that Alistair hadn't received his calling yet, but he was willing to sacrifice his life for the woman that he had always loved, so that she didn't have to face her calling alone. Anders had grown to deeply respect Alistair over the years, but as he watched the king grasp Sabrina's hand as he lead her forward, Anders had never admired anyone more. The Wardens had honored the two of them in their own special way as they prepared to enter the Deep Roads. All of the Wardens had stood in awe as they watched Sabrina and Alistair bravely take those last final steps. It had been one of the most mesmerizing events he had ever witnessed. The last two Wardens of Ferelden, the couple who against all the odds managed to end the Blight, were now fulfilling their final duty as together.

Now, as Anders stared down at the broken body of his commander, his friend, his sister, the dam of emotions that he had been holding back finally broke, as the conclusive evidence of his loss sank in. Grief shook his body as he watched the heartbroken assassin cradle his beloved warden in his arms as he rocked her and recited a Dalish poem about sorrow, loss and rebirth.

What tore at him the most was the knowledge that one day not long from now, it would be Mari that was down here retrieving his body to bring back for a proper memorial. He didn't know how he was supposed to walk away from the love of his life, to permanently leave the warmth of her body, the solace of her touch. How was he supposed to leave his children? He wanted to continue to teach Jai spells and help her hone her skills, he wanted to watch Jax continue in his templar training as he prepared to be Jai's protector. He wanted to watch his son and daughter meet their soulmates and fall in love, get married and have children of their own. He wanted to hold his own grandchild; a child that if born a mage would be born free… free to choose their own life. Anders looked at the bodies before him; both Alistair and Sabrina still in the prime of their lives, both had so much to live for… now gone… all gone. _**Fuck!**_ It was so unfair and such a waste.

Anders heard Justice's voice echo in the recesses of his mind. _"We all die, Anders. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will."_

Well the Spirit had to be happy with the legacy that he would be leaving behind. He and Mari had worked diligently and vigorously to make the Magic Schools in Ferelden succeed. Change is never easy and that was certainly the case once again. The citizens of Ferelden waited anxiously as they watched and observed as magic schools appeared across the nation. As with all change, it takes time to ease the ingrained fears of a society, but with the success of each new school, those fears lessened and when the people saw mages and templars working together for the good of the country, they offered their support. With the support of the Ferelden Throne and the Divine, the Ferelden magic schools had become the role models for other nations; some had become just as successful while others due to lack of support from the ruling sovereign and the country's citizens had failed and fallen into chaos. The mages from those countries had fled to Ferelden where they were free to learn and practice magic.

In Anders short time on this earth, he had managed to accomplish what he and Justice had set out to do all those years ago. The world he would be leaving behind would be a far better one than the one he had been born into and in the end that was all a man could truly ask for.

**A/N** - **It was with a heavy heart that I end this story. Tristen, Sabrina, Anders, Mari and Alistair have become a part of me and it's hard to say good-bye to such strong, vivid characters who lived their lives passionately, loved deeply and grown together as their lives evolved. I hope that you have enjoyed their tale.**

***I purposely left a few loose ends so that hopefully when DA3 comes out, I can revisit the Theirin twins, my favorite Warden-Commander and mage, and of course the Champion of Kirkwall. **

***Thank you to all the faithful readers and reviewers of this story. I have appreciated your comments and reviews. You guys are wonderful.**

* **A big shout out and huge ****thank my Beta Goddess, Jinxy, for working her magic on this chapter and on all of the chapters for this story. Thank you for sticking with me, I know that beta-ing two chapters a week can be a lot, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting up with me and standing by me. You are an awesome beta and more importantly you're an amazing friend. Thank you!**

***"****We all die. The goal isn't to live forever; the goal is to create something that will****" Chuck Palahniuk**

***I have posted a new story called What You Will. It is loosely based on the Twelfth Night. Here is the summary; In order to keep the templars off of her trail as her family escapes Ferelden, Charlie Hawke completely changes her identity and her gender. Upon arriving in Kirkwall she is forced to continue the charade despite her growing attraction Anders. Ht tp:/ /www. Fan fiction. net/s/7221 501/1/ Remove the spaces.**


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